1. Phantom

"Everyone."

Luminous didn't want to do this. Really. He didn't. And if it had been up to him, he wouldn't have.

Unfortunately Lania liked the idea of him having a 'girlfriend' and had all but ordered him to introduce his new female acquaintance to the rest of his fellow heroes. "This is Diana. She works as a sniper, and she is a friend of mine."

It wasn't so much as him having to do this that grated at his nerves. It was the reactions he got from his fellow Heroes.

Mercedes actually gawked at him. Evan and Aran both blinked.

And as for Phantom . . . .

That damned thief got out of his seat, flung his cape out with a flourish and went down on one knee before producing a rose from nowhere. "A beautiful flower for a beautiful lady," he purred. "Although its beauty wilts in front of yours."

Blushing, the sniper took the flower with a stuttered and uncharacteristically shy thanks.

Luminous decided that they were no longer friends with the possibility of romance. No girl of his would find Phantom charming.

2. Vieran

"Oh, please, be careful on your way in," Luminous added as an afterthought as he stepped inside the house he and Lania shared.

"Careful of what?" Then the wild hunter caught a glimpse of Vieran. "AHHHHHHH! GHOST!"

She was out of the house and running for the hills before Luminous could even blink.

3. Aran (and Maha)

"So, Luminous, I know we just met and everything, but I feel that there's a special connection between you and me. A connection we both just can't deny."

"Um . . . ." Luminous tried to be courteous. He really did. Unfortunately the girl was unbuttoning her shirt and beginning to pin him to the sofa below her and he really didn't like where this was going. "Listen, Delilah . . . ."

Then the door was blown off its hinges. "Luminous!" roared a furious female voice that could shake the very mountains of El Nath. "I know you're here!"

Delilah scrambled off of him, hurriedly clutching her shirt together. "What . . . ?"

That was before Aran in all her fur-cloaked, white-haired, giant pole-arm glory came storming towards him, batting the bandit away absentmindedly in the middle of her battlefield march like she was nothing but an annoying gnat. "I just regained more of my memories! Where's the five million mesos you owe me for that tavern fight?!"

Sputtering, Delilah tried to grab Aran and spin her around so she could challenge her in some manner, but Aran wasn't so easily grabbed or diverted from her quest to take back her money. She simply shook the other girl off, but her strength was enough to make Delilah go flying out the door.

"I never!" Delilah screeched, stomping back in, face red with anger. "You, you white-haired bit-"

A rush of air erupted from the sacred pole-arm and blew Delilah straight back out again, the screeches of the wind from nowhere echoing with howls from a pack of spiritual wolves. Luminous, held in his place by a raging, ranting warrior, only waved helplessly as the door was slammed shut by the invisible pole-arm spirit.

He never saw Delilah again.

4. Lania

"You're telling me that this . . . Lania is the most special person to you?"

"Yes." Luminous smiled fondly, not even noticing the jealous and extremely pissed look the mage was shooting him. "I lost her a very long time ago . . . I'm lucky to have found her again."

"Well." With a smile so sweet it had to be fake, Hailey stood up and grabbed her bag. "It's been nice meeting you, but I prefer men who put me as the first woman in their lives."

5. Evan (and Mir)

After the Diana-meets-Phantom incident Luminous decided to not let any of his other female acquaintances meet the irritating thief.

That much, Lania agreed with after Luminous explained the situation to her.

However, Lania still wanted him to introduce his new female friend to the other heroes. Something about making it official.

Concealing irritation he gestured at the younger mage and his dragon friend, giving a curt introduction. "Silvia, this is Evan and Mir. Evan, Mir, this is Silvia."

"Who's who?" the wind archer asked.

"I'm Evan!" the dragon master chirped cheerfully as he reached out and enthusiastically shook her hand. "And this is Mir! He's my best friend and partner!"

Because dragons couldn't shake hands, Mir just roared out multi-coloured fire. Unfortunately, his aim was a bit off and he ended up burning Silvia's clothes.

Luminous hastily used a spell to get rid of the burning clothing to protect her from getting burned, and then just as hastily covered her up with his cloak.

"That stupid beast!" she shrieked as Evan apologized and handed her his extra pair of clothing, eyes shut firmly in fear of seeing anything he wasn't supposed to. "Luminous, do something!"

"What would you have me do?" he said, helplessly shrugging. "Mir is the last Onyx Dragon. If he dies, the species go extinct. Additionally, only your clothes suffered any real damage. That is not too bad, all things considered."

"You jerk!"

Luminous was left with his cloak tossed over his recently slapped face while Evan was left missing one pair of clothes.

6. Too powerful

"Listen, Luminous." Oz had her hands clasped nervously. "It's been great going out with you. Really. You're an absolute gentleman and you have this super awesome accent that makes you sound totally lovable and sophisticated and everything . . . but I think we should stop seeing each other."

Luminous had really only just asked her out because Lania needed more maternal, warm women in her life, but he did wonder why the Blaze Wizard didn't want to see him anymore. "May I know the reason why?"

"It's not you . . . ." Oz trailed off. "Actually, it kinda is you."

"Me?"

"Yes, you! You're too strong in magic and even if I try, it's still frustrating to know that you're better than me! Do you know how jealous I am of you? Like, I'm the Chief of the Blaze Wizards! That's supposed to be a pretty big deal, but here you are, all fancy Mr. Hero with the powers of Light beating me hands down like it's nothing!"

7. Mercedes

Long blond hair. Clear blue eyes like the sky. A fair, perfect complexion. The delicate grace of an elf. Elegant, toned limbs.

After taking this all in, the freckled crusader dragged him over into the kitchen, away from a visiting Mercedes who was left puzzled and standing alone with a hand extended for a handshake outside. "She's just your friend?! You honestly expect me to believe that?!"

8. Alternate Personality

"The darkness!" Luminous cackled, red eye blazing like a torch. He was suffering one of his attacks. "It overflows within me! Mwah ha ha ha ha!"

The night walker was not impressed. "Oh, so you're making fun of my job now?" She tossed her dyed hair backwards and flipped him the middle finger with the shiny skull ring. "Screw you, asshole."

Then the rather gothic and considerably emo girl stomped out of the house, leaving Luminous to deal with his split personality by himself . . . err, his selves.

9. The Time Seal

"Wait, wait, wait. When's your birth date?"

10. Penny

". . . and this is my home."

"Wow!" the gunslinger said aloud looked around. "It's so cute!"

Luminous noticed Penny, trotting up to them. "Oh, greetings Penny – "

"Mreooowww!" With a battle cry to rival Aran's, the cat leapt up from the ground onto Amy's face, claws out and extended.

Amy, understandably, screamed when the cat landed on her face and began spitting angrily as it scrambled for a hold. "Eeeeeeh!"

"Penny!" Alarmed, Luminous tried to grab the cat, but Penny only paused in its screeching to snap at his hands. He withdrew them immediately out of sheer reflex. Facing corrupt Transcendents was one thing, facing angry cats were another thing entirely.

"Getitoffmegetitoffmegetitofmeeee!" Amy wailed.

"Penny, remove yourself from her face!" he ordered as the gunslinger stumbled around the house, knocking over a vase and bashing her knee into the sofa's wooden armrest.

"Why are you talking to it! Get this thing off of me!"

"Please, believe me when I say I'm trying!"

"Ahhhh!"

Amy ran out of the house and sprinted out of the forest, the suddenly-turned vicious cat still firmly on her face.

Penny came back later, just in time for dinner. Amy didn't.

Inspired by a story I read a long time ago. I forgot where it was. OTL

Took a little break from UPP.

EDIT 14/06/2015: Added a few parts and fixed up grammar. Wow this story is popular. Thank you for everyone who reviewed/favourited.