Hey guys here's a new story from me I'm not sure how long it will be but enjoy beware though it is really dark review and let me know if you like it or not review favorite whatever just let me know, love lots KissesInTheDark95 xx

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Glee at all if I did some things would have been different but I guess everyone feels that way.

They all call me names, none of them stick up for me, none of the think to stop for a minute or that the names actually hurt. That's a lie. Noah, sorry PUCK cares. He stopped calling me names and bulling me. Mr Schue says we're a family and that we stand up for one another. I guess by everyone that doesn't include me because he just stands by and watches as they bully me and tear me down. They're words hurt, they're actions leave me in tears. I don't show how broken I am. They don't know that I cut myself, if they did they'd be so much worse. They don't know that I don't eat or that I binge and purge, if they did they'd make it worse. They don't know anything about me besides what I let them. Noah is the only one who truly knows me but he'd never say anything in front of the school population in fear of losing his bad boy rep.

I've been cutting myself for three years now but lately I'm finding it hard to stop. I've had to change my "style", instead of short skirts I wear jeans. I can't risk my skirt blowing up and people seeing what I'm hiding. The sweater cover everything so I can keep them. It's not the normal straight scars I'm hiding. Mine are meaningful. Every name I've been called; Miss Bossy Pants, Diva, Yentl, Boy Hips, RuPaul, Man Hands, Treasure Trail, Stubbles, That Thing, Dwarf, Midget, Hobbit, Big Nose, Loser, Fat and Nobody likes you, have been engraved onto me. Over my heart just above my chest is Hot American Jewish Princess. I don't eat anymore until I'm on the verge of passing out and then I binge and purge. I want to be skinny like Quinn, maybe people would like me more but in Santana's words no one likes me, except Noah, sort of.

At school the Jocks and Cheerios' push me into the lockers leaving bruises all over me. Today at school it got bad, Karofsky and Azamio pushed me face first into the lockers and my big noes broke the impact, two black eyes forming instantly. I can never escape it. I went and applied some makeup to cover it up and went to all my classes. Finally glee came around. I walked in and sat at the back. I was the first one in and I zoned out, I was 30 minutes early because I didn't take a break to get food before Glee started, I didn't notice Noah walked in I was lost in thought.

I only notice when he was right in front of me holding my hands. "Rach… Babe? Are you ok?" He asked me bringing me out of dream land, I'm so exhausted from everything.

I just nod to him as an answer, scared that if I open my big fat mouth I'll tell him everything.

"Babe you can tell me anything. You look exhausted, frail and you're wearing too much makeup."

"I know Noah," I say squeezing his hands, "It'll all be better soon."

"If you're sure Rach." He said sitting next to me pulling my head into his lap so I could get some rest. I lied like that till the rest of the club walked in.

"You're really scraping to the bottom of the barrel Puck, getting Man Hands to suck you off." Santana quipped as she walked in. I immediately pushed up out of Noah's lap and moved to the corner of the room. Noah looked hurt but went over and whispered something that made her scowl and shoot daggers at me.

Mr Schue walked in "Who wants to get up here and sing something for us?" Noah raised his hand and walked up.

He looked right into my eyes and said "I mean every word." He sung Pinks Fucking Perfect not taking his eyes off of me. Maybe he figured it out. I mean maybe he knows. He can't know. Everyone was clapping at the end of his song and Mr Schue asked who was next and I raised my hand and walked up.

"Treasure Trails is going to sing, what a shocker!" Santana said.

"RuPaul face it Finn doesn't want you, stop trying to steal my boyfriend." Quinn said angrily.

"She's probably going to have a Diva fit." Kurt stage whispered.

"Or bitch us out." Mercedes piped up.

"Enough!" Someone yelled. No it wasn't Mr Schue, why would he care, I'm not Quinn. "Let her sing." Noah finished.

I sung Outside Looking In by Jordan Purit.

Every one of them stared at me.

"Rachel, are you ok?" Mr Schue asked, it was then that I realized I was crying, not just a few tears but a steady stream that wouldn't stop. I nodded and ran from the room hearing multiple voices calling me back.

I ran to the Auditorium. I sat on the stage and sand my feelings carefully, singing softly so no one could hear. I thought of the perfect song. I sang Demi Lovato's song Believe In Me.

I looked up and saw the whole glee club standing there. Noah pulled me up and hugged me. "It'll be ok Rach." He said hugging me tightly, I just shook my head.

"Can't you see that Yentl is just crying for attention?" Quinn all but yelled. Noah released me to talk to Quinn and I slipped out. I knew what I was going to do now, call it selfish but I can't live like this anymore. I ran to my car and drove home. My father's weren't home they never were. I wrote a suicide note for everyone to read.

I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to do this anymore. I can't go on living like it doesn't hurt when every word just tears me down more. None of you noticed my style change to cover my scars or the makeup to hide bruises from the Jocks and Cheerios. I'm sorry, I don't know what I did to hurt you all and to make you hate me. I tried to change but I couldn't. It'd be easier if I'm gone right?

And I wrote one to Noah specifically.

Noah, I'm so incredibly sorry I didn't tell you any of this I was scared. This was the only thing I could control. Maybe one day you'll forgive me, but this is the only way for me. I haven't eaten in three months and when I did I would binge and purge, I thought maybe if I was skinny like Quinn you'd love me back. Yes I love you Noah. I always have but I knew you'd never like me so I didn't say anything. I'm sorry to leave you like this but know that this is the happiest I have been since that time I dated you and when we used to just hang out. I love you Noah Puckerman.

P.S Please don't blame anyone, none of you had any idea.

I put them in envelopes and sat them on the sink. I ran the bath and got undressed leaving my bra and underwear on. I go to my secret drawer and pulled out the razor blade and sat on the edge of the bath with my phone. I got into the bath and sat down. I took the razor to my left arm and cut down my arm. I then moved to my right arm and made several cuts across that arm. I dialed Noah's number on my phone as I felt myself slipping away. I know he won't answer that's why I'm calling, so he can always have my voice with him. As I was talking, telling him that I loved him and not to blame himself, I was becoming quieter and dizzier, next thing I knew my phone dropped into the bath and my body slowly followed.

I do know that there will be at least another chapter after that I'm not sure xx