Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy

She wakes up into the darkness, eyes opening smoothly without the usual shattering pain that often greets her in the mornings since she started sleeping in this bed alone. She lies temporarily, adjusting to the world at her own pace as she stares up at the ceiling. She wishes it will come alive, maybe introduce her to a whole other universe because she knows that this one she's in right now is falling apart.

Eventually, she sits up, rubbing her eyes as a yawn escapes into the air. She leans over to her bedside table and reaches for her phone, unlocking it to check for any messages.

Nothing.

She sighs in defeat, mulling over the over twenty texts and voicemails she had sent last night alone that were left unanswered. She slowly makes her way to the bathroom and laboriously heads under the shower.

The twist in her stomach comes back when she remembers last night. She wasn't supposed to hear it. But she did and now there's no way she can unhear those words.

Addison is here.

In Seattle.

Addison freaking Montgomery is actually here - with Calliope.

Arizona is here, without any idea as to where her wife is while the woman she secretly dislikes is out there, somewhere, spending time with Calliope. Her Calliope.

She holds on to the handrails that Callie had installed almost a year ago, wincing in pain when she feels the rail dig deep into her palm as she continues to grab on to it tightly; the nurses' conversation echoing in her head.

"I heard Shepherd say that Addison's planning a backpacking expedition with Torres. Ugh. Thank goodness for Dr. Montgomery. God knows Torres needs it."

"I know right? They're actually the coolest besties in this joint. Ever. Dr. Montgomery never should have left. They're so cute together."

"Besties my ass. Girl, there were rumors they were more than bestfriends. I mean, I should know. I was there. They were pretty close."

"They're cute together."

"Preach. They're both rich kids, badass surgeons and pretty cool. I wouldn't be opposed to them getting together. That'll be awesome to see."

"Did you know that they were supposed to buy a house together? After the whole George fiasco? But then Dr. Montgomery had to move to LA and Dr. Torres met the wicked witch."

"Oh my God! Really?"

"Totally."

"Maybe now they can?"

"Dammit!" Arizona slaps the shower wall, willing the memory to fade away.

No, she can't be here. Addison gave her her word that she's not coming back. So no. It must be a mistake. Maybe she heard it wrong? She finishes showering, murmuring to herself the same thing for the past five minutes.

Addison can't be here.

Unfortunately, repeating the statement becomes ineffective rather quickly. Wrapping her hand around the doorknob, she watches as her fingers tremble lightly, each muscle possessing its own fear.

She can't lose Callie.

It's been two weeks since her wife walked out of their apartment; taking all her things with her to God knows where. She couldn't find Callie. Not for the lack of trying because she spent all of her free time looking for her. She went to all the hotels within the area - begging the hotels' staff to give her any information about her estranged wife. She went as low as begging her colleagues to give her anything with regards to Callie. All she received was either a sneer or a look of pity and she's starting to feel bad for herself.

But she can't lose Callie.

But Addison is here.

She tells her brain to shut up, twisting the bathroom knob open, hoping against hope that things will just go back to the way they were before the stupid crash. She closes her eyes, willing herself to hope that maybe, just maybe, Calliope will be there as she steps further. As she does, the sliver of hope she has is destroyed because all she finds is an empty master's bedroom. She swallows hardly and takes a deep breath.

How could she expect her wife to be here? She can't. She shouldn't even try to have any expectations. So far, those haven't been working out for her.

/

"I found a therapist." She starts, holding her breath as she waits for a reaction from her colleague. "His name's Martin Hope."

"That's really great, Arizona." Owen offers a kind smile, swiftly closing the folder he's been holding on to so he could focus his attention to the woman he's been desperately wanting to reach out to. "He's really a great trauma counselor. I know some people who worked with him."

"I'm not too late, am I, Owen?" Arizona wrings her hands nervously. "God..." She runs her hand on her hair, trying to ease the tension she's feeling. "I've waited until now... until we're too broken to seek help. H-How could I not see it sooner?"

"You can't force it, Arizona."

"I'm so scared, Owen." She admits, looking at Owen nervously. "What if it doesn't work? What if the damage I've done's irreparable? I m-mean... I mean l-look at you! You've gotten help and look at you and Cristina..." She blurts out, eyes widening as soon as she realizes what she has said. "I'm sorry. I, I didn't mean that —"

"I understand, Arizona. It's okay." He nods in understanding. "But just for the record, Cristina and I aren't broken up because of the PTSD and cheating. Ours is different."

"I know. Owen, I'm really sorry. I —."

"It's not going to work if you're seeking help just because you don't want to lose Callie."

"I'm sorry, what?" Arizona gapes at him. "I want to do this because I want to fix my marriage, Owen. I don't want to lose Callie."

With a deep sigh, Owen leans into his chair so he's looking more intently at Arizona. "You do it for yourself, Arizona. Not for anyone else. You go to therapy and counseling not because it will make Callie or your parents or your friends feel better but because it will make you feel better. It's not going to be easy. That's why if you're doing it for others, I'm telling you now, it won't work. I took that route, Arizona. And sure, I came out of the counseling better and stronger but since my motivation was not me, my progress was delayed."

"B-But you and Cristina are getting divorced. I — I c-can't take that, Owen." She breathes out insecurely.

"I may be wrong with what I'm about to say here, Arizona. And I'm apologizing in advance if I'm going to ruffle your feathers with what I'm about to say." He winces, trying to find the right words in his mind. "I just don't think you two have had a healthy foundation to begin with."

"I'm sorry —."

"Maybe this is it? You two have hit rock bottom in your marriage and so, rock bottom could become the solid foundation on which you two could rebuild your lives together?" He looks up, his words slowly dawning upon him. "You know what? Let's leave the advises to Dr. Hope, shall we?" He smiles sheepishly.

"I'd like that, Chief."

After her 'talk' with Owen, Arizona decided to use the rest of her day off running personal errands. She went to her dentist's appointment, bought new rugs and did the much delayed grocery shopping.

She drove around the city, opting to do the grocery shopping at some store that she never frequents. She needs to be somewhere where people won't look at her and silently wonder why she's doing the shopping sans her wife. Shopping has always been one of the things that they've enjoyed doing together.

Until she lost her freaking leg.

Arizona sighs. She pulls a cart and heads for her section of choice and starts to pile up her cart with items from her list. As she rounds up the corner of the candy section, she freezes when the familiar stance of a stranger catches her attention. Arizona blinks, but the woman remains glued on her spot, gazing at the numerous stack of sweets, with her dark sunglasses on. One more blink and she's sure that the woman is no stranger. She thinks the thump inside her is the sound of her heart dropping into her stomach. There's doubt, so much of it, but there's also complete certainty, the two contradictions speeding towards each other and exploding in the middle of your mind.

She's really here.

Arizona looks on with wide eyes, the same question repeating over and over in her head. The situation isn't the type to hand itself over to her easily, no matter how many times things like these happen, she has to struggle first. Arizona is in her presence again in a while and that isn't going to settle in so smoothly just yet. The hardest part is that she knows that she can decipher exactly how she feels the moment the other woman looks at her.

Only, that moment won't seem to come as Calliope remains oblivious to her surrounding. Still, Arizona waits. She waits. She waits between breaths; with the company of silence, counting the seconds as they pass her by. She waits for Callie to notice her, but as more seconds pass by, Arizona realizes it'll will not come. With feigned confidence, she strolls towards the oblivious woman, clearing her throat as she sidles next to her.

"Hi." She greets cheerfully, eyes darting from Callie to the products in front of them. Callie does not respond, just continues to face ahead. For a split second, Arizona is tempted to check on the woman beside her — to see if it's really Callie. Her Calliope. Yet she stops herself. Calliope is recognizable anywhere and in any state she's in. Arizona could pinpoint her from a hundred feet away in the pouring rain. She could find her even when lost in the craziest of worlds she has experienced. Arizona can do that because Callie has always been the same. She's a constant, her constant, and she's always the same despite all the things she has done — good and bad.

This woman beside her? She doesn't recognize her and no matter how much she tries to hide it, the situation scares her"

"Hi." She tries again, touching the other woman's shoulder for more effect.

It works.

Callie looks at her, but due to the dark glasses, she could not decipher what she's feeling at the sight of her. She's about to ask if Callie's okay, but she's cut off by the sound of Callie's cheerful voice.

"Hey!" Callie smiles that smile and Arizona can't help but be taken aback. It's been ages since she has heard that chirpy voice and seen that beautiful smile and she instantly feels her stomach act funny at the sight. "How's everything going?!"

"Uh." Arizona looks at Callie in surprise, not knowing how to respond to her quips. "Better. Things are looking up. Calliope, can we talk?"

"Sure thing." Callie replies monotonously, her attention now back at the stack in front of her.

"Can we go somewhere? Like at the coffee shop across the street?" Arizona asks, but instead of getting a reply, she instead watches Callie pick up boxes of Dots and unceremoniously throwing it on her basket. "Callie?" She tries again, but is only met by a silent Calliope moving on to the boxes of chocolates. "Here then." She sighs. "Look, Calliope... I understand your... feelings. And I can't say sorry enough. But I love you, Calliope. I love you and I'm not letting go." She smiles when she sees Callie stop, seemingly absorbing her words. "I know I messed up. I'm seeking professional help, Calliope. I've already booked an appointment with a trauma counselor and I feel really good about it. I'm trying to be better."

"Better is good." Callie nods, still not looking at Arizona.

"So...you think we could work on it? On us?" Once again, Callie remains mum — only this time, she starts walking away too. "Calliope! Please don't walk away from me again —."

"Sorry, dear, I gotta go."

"But —" Arizona watches as Callie runs towards the cashier, swiftly placing all her items on the counter before scurrying towards the door, but not before throwing Arizona a thumbs up.

Well at least she talked to me, right? Better weird than nothing.

With a sigh, Arizona walks towards the same counter Callie has been to a few seconds earlier.

Meanwhile, outside the store

Callie walks out of the store, confused at the events that transpired inside. She shakes her head, willing the aching in her head to stop as she climbs her new car. As soon as she starts the car, she's startled by the sudden sound of a raspy voice.

"What the hell, Torres? What took you so long?"

"Shut up." She maneuvers the car out of the parking lot, one clear destination in mind.

"I thought you were buying water? Huh?" Callie's companion sighs in annoyance. "Who was that woman you were talking to?"

"Huh?"

"The blonde woman?"

"I don't know." She answers honestly. She tries to think again, but she comes up empty.

"Oh man!" Callie's companion laughs hysterically. "Too stoned to know?"

"Will you shut up? Just tell me how much each."

"180."

"How did you score that much blow for less than two hundred?" She asks again.

"I've got lots of connections, gorgeous."

"Whatever."

"You owe me 900 bucks Torres."

"Here." She throws her purse. "Grab a grand." With a smirk, her companion does as told, making sure to grab in a couple hundred bucks extra. There's no freaking way this doped woman will know.

"Thanks. And you're welcome, by the way."

"Just don't freaking tell Addison, okay? She's going to be so mad."

"Are you kidding me? She's going to skin me alive when she learns about this cute little deal we have. Where is she anyway? You know? Or are you still too stoned to know?"

"She went back to LA for an emergency consult. She should be back soon."

"Perfect. To your suite?"

"Sure thing."

/

I apologize for the delay. No reason, I just haven't been in the mood to write. Things have been swirling in my head but I couldn't find it in me to sit down and type.

This chapter is just a filler to push the storyline forward. We're going to see Arizona in therapy and Addison realizing Callie's 'affair' with drugs next.

I'm working on There's Something About Callie but the next chapter will be available in a couple of days. Again, apologies for the delay.

All mistakes are mine.