Disclaimer: GrimGrave does not own Legend of Zelda or any of its characters – they belong to Nintendo and Shigeru Miyamoto. GrimGrave does not make money for writing fiction.
Thanks to MajorMikePowell III for proof-reading.
Link's Dating Training
Chapter 3
How to Unknowingly Get out of the Pan and into the Fire: Part I
Bloodshot eyes snapped wide open at the first sound of the doorbell. The chiming became louder and louder still with each press of that infernal button, even as Link covered his ears with the pillow.
Then, it finally ceased. It was quiet and the young man sighed in relief-
The moment his cell-phone went off and played the standard tune – a part of Link's favourite song from his favourite band – and vibrated painfully loudly against the wooden surface of his nightstand, he bolted out of the bed. He knew who it was.
"What is it?" he retorted dryly.
There was a gasp from the other line. "…Sorry. Did we wake you up?"
"Yes…and no. I didn't get any sleep tonight." He sighed. "Sorry if I sounded harsh, Saria."
"It's okay. I wouldn't be very chipper either if I suffered from insomnia," she replied and giggled. "Care to let us in?"
Link let out another sigh and ran a hand through flaxen locks. "Might as well. Give me a few seconds to get dressed."
x.x.x.x.x
"So," Saria began. She sipped on some green tea that Link had offered. "How did it go last night?"
Link swallowed hard; he knew he'd be questioned about last night sooner or later, but he was still not mentally prepared.
"It went…not so well," he lied. "I didn't meet anyone that caught my fancy, so to speak." He poured himself a cup and sat down at the table, opposite of Zelda and Saria.
"You didn't meet anyone at all?" Zelda inquired and Link quickly shook his head.
"None at all. It was pretty uneventful." There was no way he was going to tell Zelda, of all people, that he had kissed her cousin. While anyone else would think that Zelda wouldn't mind, Link knew better; she had told him once, and once only, that she didn't like the idea of her friend going out with her cousin or sister – Tetra specifically, as she could be a "bad influence" as Zelda had put it. Link had since then honoured that, even though he wasn't particularly interested in her family like that.
"Is there something you're not telling us?" Zelda asked and peered at him.
Link waved it off and shook his head. "Nope. It was just me, drinking by myself. Sad, huh?"
"Perhaps, but it's also good news! Because," the blonde girl exclaimed and turned her laptop around (when had she picked it up?) and pointed at the screen. "There's a speed dating event today! It's located in a place called ´Telma's Bar´ –"
"A bar?" The young man deadpanned. "They're hosting a speed dating event at a bar?"
"Well, it's usually closed during the day, so they're just using the place when no-one else is there," Saria explained. "But really, you should check it out! It's good to meet new people, right?"
Link sighed. "Yeah, but –"
"No ´buts´," Zelda interrupted. "It's starting tomorrow at 13:00 so you better get ready!"
"So, it's basically me and other guys talking to women before switching after a few minutes?" Link asked, unamused. He didn't like where this was going.
"Exactly!" Saria beamed. "So make sure you look good and talk a little about yourself – but make sure you also ask them some questions!"
The young man let out a tired sigh. His friends were right, though; speed dating was called that because it was quick and efficient. He'd be out of there in no time.
Besides, it couldn't possibly end up as bad as last night.
"Alright, fine," Link responded. "I only work the morning shift tomorrow, so I'll head there after work."
"Make sure you head home first and take a shower!" Zelda playfully chided. "And dress accordingly!"
He rolled his eyes. This would be a pain.
x.x.x.x.x
The next day was slow and dreary, as if dragging out the wait to get the speed-dating over with. Link wanted to rest for a bit, but he couldn't leave – not for at least two hours, anyway. There were only a handful of customers browsing the shelves for games they might consider buying, and any offer to help them was declined.
Wonderful.
He sighed. It'd be interesting to see what would happen during the event though Link didn't have any high expectations. In his mind, he would only spend time to talk to people he'd never meet again, and then his friends would force him into something else.
"What gives with that frown? Didn't the boss tell you we have to look cheerful whenever there are customers around?" Someone stated beside him.
The blonde glanced to his right. His co-worker, a strange young man with pale hair and strange demeanour, eyed him curiously. "Well? What's on your mind?"
"Nothing, Ghirahim," Link replied. "I'm just not looking forward to later."
His co-worker – Ghirahim – grinned and leant in closely. "So there is something on your mind, then! Come on, amuse me! What's gonna happen later, huh?"
The blonde groaned. His co-worker was a strange fellow who had become Link's "friend" when they began working together, though he was more of a nuisance. He rather he didn't have to deal with him.
But if he kept quiet, the pale-haired man would just become even more of a nuisance. "My friends forced me into this speed-dating event that's happening in two hours. I'm not looking forward to it."
He immediately regretted sharing this, as Ghirahim's lips curved into a sly smirk. He swung an arm over the blonde's shoulders, ignoring personal space – with him, there was no such thing. "Oho! I see, I see! Is Linky annoyed because he'd be surrounded by women, perhaps?"
"My sexual preference hasn't changed," Link replied.
His co-worker snickered. "If you say so. But you know, there's nothing wrong with putting yourself out on the market. Surely you'd want someone to wait for you at home in the future, huh?"
Link blinked. That was…the idea wasn't unwelcome. "…I suppose so."
"It has to start somewhere, you know. As for me, I search every club I can find for the one who'll await me on hand and feet when I get home! If you ever change your mind…"
"In your dreams, Ghirahim!"
"Oho, let's not discuss my dreams, Linky. We don't want to cause a scene in front of the customers!"
Link rubbed his temples. Forget about not wanting to go to the event; he couldn't wait until he was free to go!
x.x.x.x.x
"Alright, loves, take your seats!" the owner of the bar and also hostess of the speed dating event announced, and clapped her hands to accentuate herself. She was an older woman with scarlet hair and a pudgy build, but if Link was honest with himself, she looked good; he would even say that she had aged well, if it wasn't for the fact that she most likely wasn't that old. "We'll begin shortly! Remember, you're only given a few minutes each time, and lads, it's you who will change tables! Ladies, remain seated!"
There were a good number of people present and evenly numbered with men and women. The ladies took their seat shortly before the guys did; for the first round, the men could choose wherever to sit and start from there. At the end of the five-ten minutes each round, the men would change tables in a clockwise rotation.
Link groaned inwardly but put on his best smile. Things couldn't really go that bad anyway. The worst-case scenario would have him rejected and return to his friends and assure them that it had been a bad idea.
Choosing the closest table, Link sat down and his eyes met with blue twin pools. The girl was really cute; her long, chestnut-brown hair was tied up into a ponytail, and she was dressed in an auburn shirt. Maybe he had some luck after all?
"Alright, everyone!" Telma exclaimed. "You may start! Change seats when the bell rings!"
"Finally!" the girl opposite him cheered. "Looks like I ended up with the jackpot. What's your name, stranger?"
The blonde rubbed his neck and smiled. This was a promising start. "I-I'm Link. Pleased to meet you, miss…?"
"You can call me Hena!" she responded and smiled. "I don't know about you, Link, but I think that I'm quite lucky. Some of the guys here are rather…odd."
He chuckled at that. "That's funny; I was just thinking how fortunate I was. So, Hena, what do you do for a living, if I may ask?"
The girl crossed her arms triumphantly over her puffed out chest with a smirk. "I run my own fishing business, complete with my very own lake!" She paused. Her expression became sour. "…Well, it's more of a family-run place…but it'll be mine someday!"
Her own fishing business? While not understanding exactly how that worked, Link was impressed nonetheless. "Perhaps I should drop by someday and give it a try."
Hena beamed. "Oh, I'd hope so! …Just don't talk to my sister, should you run into her. She's not cute at all and a total meanie sometimes! And she's totally prone to take advantage of people, too!"
Link cleared his throat. "Well…Thanks for the warning, I guess. So, Hena, what do you like to do on your spare time?"
The brunette tapped her chin as she pondered. "Hmm…I'm not sure. Fishing is my passion, to be honest, but I don't mind settling down in front of the TV, watching a movie or something. What about you, Link?"
´This is going alright so far…´ he mused. "Oh, well…I work at a game store. If I don't play video games on my spare time, I'll hang out with my friends at the pub. But maybe I should start fishing as well, to get some fresh air a bit more often."
Hena softly laughed at him. "Yes, that'd be a nice change, if only because I would like to see you again."
The blonde's cheeks reddened. He rubbed his neck and sheepishly smiled. "Yeah…That'd be a very welcome change. Hey, do you think we could–?"
A bell-chime abruptly interrupted their conversation and the whole bar. Everyone turned to the redheaded owner. "Alright, time to change tables, everyone!"
´Already?´ Link thought, rather annoyed. "I wanted to ask you, Hena, could we change–?"
The brunette leant over the table. "If you want to meet up, swing by "The Fishing Hole" outside of town."
Nodding, Link got up and moved to the next table as another man took over his seat. This Hena was really cute, and he couldn't stop smiling.
Until he got to the other table, that is. As soon as his eyes locked with the woman's, his heart skipped a beat. She was tall, confident-looking, and hands-down gorgeous. She was, in fact, sexy; her hair was apricot orange and she was dressed formally – an office worker if Link would've guessed – in a business suit.
But that sly grin on her lips…he couldn't put a finger on it. It was alluring, but predatory, as if she'd bite him if he got too close.
He cleared his throat and reached out. "H-Hi there…I'm Link."
"I know," the woman replied and shook his hand; her grip was firm, but her hand was smooth and flawless. "Oh, don't look surprised. I overheard your previous conversation."
That was a surprise. "Oh, I…see. Shouldn't you have focused your attention on the other guy?"
The woman rolled her eyes. "He wasn't worth my time. Between you and me, I could tell right away that he was underachiever. At least, you've got looks."
Link swallowed hard. "Oh, uhm…thank you. I'm sorry; I didn't catch your name."
The woman opposite him chuckled. "I'm Veran. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Link. It's nice to meet someone young, for once."
Link laughed nervously. "T-Thank you…You look very young yourself, Miss Veran."
She laughed. "Drop the "Miss" part. I'm not that old."
"You certainly don't look old," he replied and clasped a hand over his mouth. He knew better than to talk with a woman about her age. "I…I didn't mean to imply-"
Veran chuckled at him and waved it off. "Don't worry your little head about it. I'm young enough for a man like you – but old enough with experience that'd blow your mind." She winked at him. "But I'm getting ahead of myself. I must know; how come a young man such as you is on a speed dating event? Surely you'd already have someone special?"
Link averted his gaze. "…I don't. I mean, I had one when I was younger, but…I don't know. It just never happened again. What about yourself, Veran? I mean, you've got….looks. Surely you would have a man already."
She grinned. The fine hairs on Link's neck stood on edge. "You would think so. But unfortunately, I can be quite picky, and so far men have been rather…useless to me. I decided to give this a chance." Veran eyed Link up and down in an alarmingly predatory way. "And it looks like I may not leave here emptyhanded, after all."
The blonde pinched his leg under the table. This couldn't be happening, could it? His face was hotly red and he cleared his suddenly dry throat.
"W-Well…I g-guess not…? I mean, we could meet up again for some coffee, perhaps? We know very little about each other –"
"Then after this trash of an event, we'll head to the café across the street and have a nice, long, talk," she interrupted, and Link almost shot up from his chair. He stifled a yelp and the apricot-haired woman snickered as he looked under the table to find her pushing her shoe-clad foot up against –
"W-What are you doing, touching me weirdly l-like that?!" He wanted to yell, but forced his voice down into a whisper, loud enough for her to hear.
"I'm browsing the merchandise," was her calmly said answer. "And it looks promising so far."
Link was dumbfounded. "W-What–?!"
The bell chimed once again and the men were already moving. Link got up and eyed the woman who simply smirked up at him. She tossed him a slip of paper which he instinctively caught without thinking –
"Here's my number. Let's meet up again after today, okay?"
Link moved over to the next table, but not before he kept the eye-contact with this vixen until he was forced to break it with mixed feelings about this short-but-memorable meeting. At least it couldn't get any worse than this.
"…I thought I recognized you. This is quite the surprise, Link."
His heart skipped a quick beat as his attention changed towards the next table. He ceased to move and merely eyed the woman sitting down.
"Oh," he began. What else was there to say? "…Hello there, S-Sheik…"
Sheik – a young woman with long flaxen tresses tied up into a single braid, eyes as red blood, and a demeanour that was enigmatic and slightly eerie. She was also Zelda's older sister.
She eyed him up and down. "Please, take a seat already. It only looks odd for you to be standing there." She gestured towards the chair opposite her and Link reluctantly sat down. This was bad, and while unsure as to why, Link was nonetheless less-than-thrilled to be sitting here as of this moment.
He gulped. "So –"
"I didn't think you would be the kind of man who would like speed-dating," Sheik impeded. "I'm kind of surprised that my sister hasn't caught you either," she added, disinterested.
He cleared his throat. "Zelda and I are friends. If anything, this was her idea."
"She always had trouble being honest with herself." The flaxen-haired woman pulled up the collar of her turtle-neck; she always had a habit of doing so, Link recalled, whenever she wore similar clothing. "But what do I know. You'd figure for a guy and a girl to be friends as long as you two have, there would be some mutual feelings…"
"A girl and a guy can be friends without some kind of romance happening," Link chided. "Are we really about to spend our time here talking about Zelda and me?"
"Would you rather that we talked about each other and see where it takes us?" Link caught himself and attempted to hide his embarrassment.
Sheik managed a barely noticeable smile on her otherwise cool and expressionless face. "I wonder what Zelda would feel about this. But if there is nothing between you two, then there's no harm in spending time with an old friend. After all, we used to actually hang out every now and then."
´That would be because Zelda told me not to get too close to you,´ the young man thought. "Well, you did begin studying at the university –"
"I have more than enough time to hang out with friends. But then again, I basically live on campus…Besides, you probably only swing by our house when visiting my sister…"
"She's the one who's visiting me, rather," he replied. "Either way, you've been studying and I've been working. That's all there is to it."
Her piercingly crimson eyes stared right at him – almost as if she saw right through him, a thought that made Link shudder – and tapped her chin in thought. "Perhaps; I find it peculiar, still, that we ended up not talking at all. But I digress. How about we rectify that by having a cup of coffee together later?"
There wasn't any harm in that, was it? Link rubbed his neck and gave her a slow nod.
"I suppose it couldn't hurt to catch up with an old friend. Maybe we can call Zelda –"
"There's no need to bring my little sister into the picture," Sheik quickly interrupted, and chidingly so. "It's just a cup of coffee, Link. Surely we can spend some time together without Zelda, like we used to."
"I… w-well –" Link began, but the sound of the bell put a stop to whatever he was about to say – if he even had anything to add. He couldn't escape this one, but perhaps it wouldn't be so bad. Surely Zelda wouldn't mind the two of them spend a little time together as friends?
"You've got the same email address, right? I'll send you a message later." She fished up her phone and focused her attention completely towards it. "I'll see you later, Link."
He merely nodded, despite that Sheik wasn't even looking at him, and left the table. Things couldn't get any more awkward or confusing than this.