No Balls

What was I thinking? Why would I ever let my own Captain penetrate me? Nyota thinks rapidly, quickly walking to her own quarters to think things over and avoid her Captain.

Jim on the other hand curses under his breath and runs his fingers through his hair, continuing his trek to the bridge for his shift at 0700.

Why would she just flip sides like that? Didn't she want to do it? I made sure of that. And now she did exactly what I didn't want her to do – she made me her regret. Jim thinks to himself, trying to shove thoughts of his Lieutenant out of his head.

A Week Later

Jim and Nyota now keep an icy and awkward working relationship while Nyota avoids him at all other times when they're not on the bridge.

Suddenly when Nyota's walking to the Officer's Mess to eat her lunch she's stopped by her friend Christine Chapel.

The angry and determined look on her friend's face is a warning. "We need to talk?"

"About what?"

"About why you're being such a bitch to your Captain."

Nyota rolls her eyes and continues walking, ignoring Christine all the while. Chapel abruptly grabs her and drags her into the nurse's quarters.

"Spill it!"

"Spill what?!" Chapel takes two steps forward to where their noses nearly touch.

"Don't act dumb Nyota – it doesn't suit you."

"Fine, me and Kirk had sex in a turbo lift a week ago and ever since then avoiding him."

"How was it?"

"How was what?"

"The sex dumbass; I wanna know how he is. I mean is it all talk or does he have the skills to back it up?"

"Oh he has the skills alright. But whatever, Chris; what do I do?"

"I say you finally tackle this head on – go find him and talk to him like you should have a week ago. Now get out here, go!" Christine shoves the Lieutenant out of her quarters and Nyota sighs.

She asks the computer to locate James T. Kirk and sees that he's in his own quarters.

Nyota takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. "Who is it?" his voice sounds thick and slurred.

"It's Nyota. May I come in?"

"Sure – knock yourself out." The doors slide open and Uhura slips inside, finding Jim sitting on the floor, propped up against the edge of the bed with a bottle of whiskey in his hand.

He smiles weakly before taking another swig.

"Are you drunk?" He makes a face and shakes his head.

"No, if anything I'm just a little buzzed – but I am trying though."

"Stop it; I need to talk to you."

"Oh now she needs to talk to me; after a week of holding me at an icy distance and never looking me in the eye, how charming." Nyota rolls her eyes and sits in a chair in front of him.

"I'm sorry for the way I handled…this."

"You know what? I'm sorry too, Lieutenant; sorry that I ever thought that I wouldn't be a regret to you."

"Jim don't be like this."

"Like what? Angry? Don't you at least think I have a right to that; you have the nerve to waltz in here unannounced and tell me what to and not do?"

"Okay you have the right to be angry – anyone would, just hear me out."

"I'm listening…unfortunately…"

Nyota sighs before starting. "I was scared, okay? That was why I acted the way I did. I was scared of actually loving you because when I'm around you I can't think. When I'm around you rational decisions fly out the window."

Jim chuckles lightly and swallows his sip, muttering, "ain't that the truth?"

"You somehow knock out all my defenses and that terrifies me. Somehow in my mind the best way to handle it was to ignore the fact it ever happened. But that was the stupidest way to go about it."

Jim snorts "you're telling me."

"Are you ashamed of me?" Nyota makes a face and sits up straight. "No, no not at all!"

"Fine but why instead of just acting like it never happened you had to act like you never met me before?"

"It's not like you tried to close the gap between us!"

"Oh I did, I tried – don't you dare say I didn't damn well try!" Jim stands up and begins to pace about the room.

"I tried to talk to you – to get a sliver of the Nyota I used to know but she was gone. Every single time I spoke to you it was as if I was talking to a robot! There was nothing there, Nyota! I would have rather you just reject me like I thought you would! Can you just make this easier on the both of us and just walk away like you always do."

Jim failed to notice when she had stood up. He walks dangerously close to her, the liquor in his breath wafting up to Nyota's nose.

"NO." she bites out fiercely. Jim squints his eyes in a glare at her. "Then at least give me the gift of you getting the fuck out of my quarters, huh? Don't I deserve that – am I not entitled to that? I appreciate you stopping by but don't you think it's too late? Just get out of here and let me get drunk in peace."

"NO! JIM, WHY ARE YOU PUSHING ME AWAY AFTER I'M TRYING TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU?!" Nyota screams at him utterly frustrated and uncaring as the tears stream down her cheeks.

Jim growls and runs his fingers through his hair before taking another gulp of whiskey and then smashing the nearly empty bottle against the wall. Nyota jumps at the shattering of the glass, and Jim leans down, inches away from her face.

"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO GET HURT AGAIN! THAT'S WHY – I'M PROTECTING MYSELF! YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE MEANT TO HURT ME BUT YOU DID AS SOON AS YOU STALKED OUT THAT TURBO LIFT!" Kirk takes a deep breath and rubs his eyes, calming himself. He looks at her tears and swallows in guilt at being the cause of them.

"I have no regrets about what happened in that turbo lift a week ago except for one – ever letting you walk out of there without an explanation or a rejection in the first place. But no man in his right mind would ever show remorse for being inside of you."

"I'm so sorry for hurting you, Jim. Hurting you was never one of my intentions."

Jim grabs her shoulders lightly and smiles. "It's fine – I forgive you. Thanks for coming by and clearing this all up. Friends?"

It kills Jim to say the word just as much as it kills Nyota to hear it. But she grins and bears it, nodding and replying, "Friends." They shake on it and she grows brave enough to hug him goodbye.

Jim clenches his jaw and turns around to watch her walk to the door. He follows her leans against the wall when she pauses at the door. He cocks an eyebrow in question before tightens her ponytail and turns around.

Jim gasps when she looks him dead in the eye while her fingers work furiously to braid her hair. Once she's done her hands flop to her side and she sighs heavily.

What am I doing? Oh right, I'm getting my man. She thinks to herself.

"I heard that braids were your favorite; kiss me." She doesn't give him a chance to respond before she rushes forward quickly and wraps her arms around his neck – kissing him and drawing the intoxicating alcoholic taste of his mouth into her own.

They stumble backwards together and run into the back of the couch. Jim flips them over it and lands on top of her.

Kirk breaks away from her and smirks, "why do you always kiss me first?"

"Because you don't have the guts."

"You're right I have six pack but what I do have that you don't – is balls." Nyota knocks her head back with a laugh that drives the man on top of her crazy.

They proceed to making love on the sofa. "I guess that's why they call it a love seat." Jim makes a face at her joke and shakes his head slowly.

"If I ever have an inappropriate boner in a public place than you should say that because it will just flop right back down." Nyota snickers and smacks his chest playfully.

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"Oh I would love to…"

THE END

A/N: Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Don't forget to review please! Thanks for your time!