Hello all, I'm so sorry for the almost two year hiatus you've been on; I have been living in Santiago, Chile as a missionary for the past year and a half and seeing as we were 100% focused on our work and helping people and spreading the gospel and everything like that, we didn't use the internet for anything except for emailing our families and I hardly had time anyway to write, so anyway, here's a little tidbit and I hope to be able to get you all some more of this story soon. Sorry if my style is a bit different now than it used to be, obviously it's been a while since I've written and I'm still getting the hang of it again :) thank you all for reading; que lo disfruten!

I stood up and left the room, joining the doctor back in the main treatment room. He was leaning up against one of the tables looking around, bored.

"We don't really have anything going on right now if you want to go to your quarters again or something," he said. "Just be ready if I need you."

"Actually, I was wondering if there is a psychoanalyst or some sort of counselor on board," I asked.

"Yes, Doctor Trello should be in her office," he said, pointing across the room to the office beside his.

"Thank you Doctor McCoy," I said, addressing him more formally now that I had better control over my countenance and outward appearance; that however said nothing concerning my inward emotions.

I began to step away. "Oh, Peleia," the doctor said, "you might want to be careful… she's a bit of a character," he warned.

"I will be sure to keep myself under control," I said, a bit jokingly.

He nodded and I walked to the door in the corner where everything seemed a bit quieter. I knocked three times, feeling that it was strangely loud in this oddly muffled area of the bay.

"Come in," a sing-song voice called from within the room. I opened the door to find the room exceedingly dark. It took my eyes less than a few seconds to adjust however and I saw immediately that there was a woman sitting cross-legged on top of a desk in the center of the room. There was incense burning and I almost immediately regretted having gone in there. I would rather sort out my own problems than be in there at the moment.

"And who are you?" she asked, swiveling around to face me.

"Ensign Peleia," I said, "assistant to Doctor Leonard McCoy-"

"Oh, oh, you're that new Vulcan girl, aren't you?"

"Uh, yes, I am Vulcan. I was hoping you might be able to help me-"

"With your boyfriend?" she asked and I wondered if she may be slightly intoxicated. Her words were slightly slurred and she was pointing about with every phrase she said. I could visibly see several bottles of alcoholic beverages around the room and not many of them were full.

"I believe it is against Starfleet regulation to be in possession of any sort of alcohol except on the basis that it will be used for medicinal purposes," I said, ignoring her last question.

"Well I am a doctor," she said, "I can self medicate if I wish."

"I am not sure that is how it works," I said.

"Do you want my help or not?"

"I-" I took a moment to process the actual question, "yes," I said.

"Come sit down; make yourself comfortable," she offered and pulled a chair out from under the desk. I closed the door and approached cautiously. She held a hand out to gesture to the empty chair and I thanked her as I sat down.

"So, you're having trouble recalling something," she said. I assumed her to be part Betazoid or something of the like considering her innate knowledge of me already even though I had hardly entered the room.

"Yes, I was wondering if you might be able to tell me what it is that I'm forgetting," I said.

"You make it sound like it's just a little thing; like you don't know if you left the stove on," she said.

"I am not familiar with this pun," I said.

"Oh, don't worry about it," she said. The woman began circling me while I sat in the chair, making me feel exceedingly uncomfortable. "Oh my, you seem to be in a bit of a pickle, don't you?"

I looked up at her impatiently. I was no longer sure I wanted this woman snooping around in my mind. She seemed to have a mouth too large for her head and I did not want that to lead to more problems for me.

"I won't tell anybody, I promise. Patient confidentiality you know," she said and I realized I would have to watch my thoughts and emotions.

"If it is not too much trouble, I would appreciate if you would keep your efforts aimed toward the affected area of my memory rather than investigating where you ought not to be," I said.

"Excuse me, I am the doctor and I will take the information I require," she said.

I went to object but held it in.

"Mm, good girl," she said. "You seem to have a problem with that."

I did my best to keep my mind and emotions entirely blank so that I would not be enraged by this woman.

"Okay, okay, that's fine, too. It will probably be easier for me to figure out what you're forgetting if you're experiencing similar emotions as you were at the time though. I'll have to experiment to see what exactly was happening."

"What kind of experiments?" I asked, becoming exceptionally impatient and concerned at her tone and intentions.

"Don't you fret, I'm not going to do anything questionable," she said, "at least… not too questionable. Would you like to tell me about this John Harrison?"

"No," I said, looking at her angrily.

"Ooh, that one was close. Maybe just ease off a little bit," she said.

"What are you talking about?"

"Your anger, try to control it just a little bit," she said. "Channel it towards something specific; try… try Spock," she said and I saw a physical change in her attitude. She had closed her eyes and was leaning against the desk rather than circling me as before. I could tell that she was actually trying now.

I attempted to follow her direction but she shook her head. "No, that's wrong. Try somebody else," she said and I tried the captain followed by Harrison himself and then Admiral Marcus, but none of those helped me at all. I tried my anger at McCoy and she perked up. "Yes, that's closer," she said. "I think I may be able to-"

She went silent for a bit and I tried to maintain the emotion I had, thinking that it was maybe helping her do whatever she appeared to be doing.

"Ah, yes," she said when she finally opened her eyes. "Spock was right to be angry, but probably not as much as he was."

"What do you mean?" I asked, becoming touchy at the subject. The most disgruntling part of this exchange was the fact that I didn't know where she was looking in my mind at any given time. I could feel Spock roaming around when he did but I felt no trace of this woman in my head. I settled with the possibility that she was in fact Betazoid.

"It seems you had a meeting with this John Harrison privately in your quarters. It ended with him kissing and drugging you, though, so I'm not sure why Spock is so mad at you; he should be trying to beat up this other guy-"

"Wait, I apologize, I thought you just said it ended with Harrison kissing and drugging me?" I said incredulously.

"It did," she replied nonchalantly. "If I were you, I would take it up with him. If I'm right, and I usually am, I would say he was trying to get you two to fight so that he could separate you, but I guess he didn't figure you would come to me. Nobody comes to me. Nobody even knows who I am," she rambled and I began to see her lapse back into her intoxicated state. "You didn't even know I existed until the doctor pointed my office out to you. I'm just a lowly counselor; nobody needs me. I have enough problems anyway; I don't need everybody else's as well," she said.

"Is there anything else you can tell me about what happened?" I asked.

"What else is there that matters? That's the only reason Spock is mad at you," she said. "He thinks you're having regular encounters with that man," she said, "which is more than I can say I've had-"

"That's it?"

"Yes."

"Spock is angry with me because of some dim-witted man who took advantage of me?" I said, saying it out loud more for myself than for Doctor Trello.

"That sounds about right, although from your memories, I wouldn't call Mr. Harrison dim-witted," she said and grabbed a bottle, tipping it back.

"Thank you, Doctor," I said and stood up, now in a fury. How could Harrison have done that? And why would he? Did he think I wasn't going to figure it out? I was extremely intelligent; not just some dull human like all the rest.

And Spock! Who did he think he was? He saw probably better than Trello that I had been attacked; nothing had happened of my own will. What was wrong with him? How dare he say those things to me with such little premise to do so? I didn't care if he was my higher officer, that was unacceptable and I was going to make sure he knew. If anything, he should be ashamed of himself! I hadn't done anything worth the anger he had shown me! And I couldn't have cared less if he was under stress; did he think I was immune to stress or something? I was probably more strained than he was yet he still had the gall to call me a liar?

I thought perhaps my blood was going to start boiling with how angry I was.

"No problem," Trello said, "I'll be here if you need me ever again, not that you will because you'll get your man back and I'll just stay here alone for the rest of my days. It's okay, I don't mind," she said and slumped over the desk, not making another noise.

I left the room and closed the door as quietly as I could since I thought perhaps she had fallen asleep, although it very well may have been a coma.

McCoy looked at me as I walked back into the room. "What's the verdict? I hope she didn't scare you too much," he said but I was too irate to pay attention to what he had said.

"Where is he?"

"What? Who?"

"Spock; where is he?" I hissed, fuming with anger.

"Probably on the bridge," he said and I stormed past him. "Whoa, Peleia, you might want to calm down," he said, but his thoughts could not have been plainer if he spoke them out loud. He obviously wanted to see me give Spock a piece of my mind and as far as I was concerned, he was going to.

I stomped to the elevator and got in with Bones right behind me. I didn't even bother hanging on to anything. "Bridge," I ordered and we zipped up to the top level. The door opened and Kirk looked at me.

"Peleia, good to see you," he said. "Spock is right over there," he pointed and Spock looked up. For a moment I could feel a bit of relief coming from him as if he was afraid that he had actually hurt me with his words, but that immediately vanished and was replaced with anger. He was being a stubborn, temperamental-

Why aren't you saying this out loud? I asked myself. I considered yelling it at him right that moment, but I didn't want the whole crew to know there was a problem. I walked up to him, almost uncomfortably close and glared as he looked at me both angrily and confusedly.

"You stubborn, temperamental, brainless Vulcan!" I hissed and the several crew members on the bridge looked at me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a smile grow on Kirk's face and he tried to hide it with his hand before sitting up and addressing the rest of the crew.

"Clear the bridge," he said quietly and they all looked hesitantly at him before exiting the bridge, despite Kirk and Bones still wanting to see what would happen. I questioned the captain's logic for a moment since we were in flight and it was slightly (incredibly) dangerous to leave the bridge unmanned. He could have just asked us to leave.

But the thought didn't last long. As soon as the elevator door had closed and every last member was off the bridge, Spock stepped a bit away, obviously trying to keep calm but not doing very well.

"You're blaming me for-?"

I put my hand up and made a shushing noise to stop him from talking.

"What right-?"

"Shut up!" I said angrily while still holding up my hand.

"Ensign Peleia, I have warned you twice, there will not be a third warning before I notify-"

My sweet and very bad-tempered Romulan mother had never much liked it when I talked back or cut her off, and fortunately for this situation, that was one of the traits she had passed along to me.

Before he could utter another syllable, I slapped him as hard as I possibly could. I knew I had said I wouldn't and that I didn't want to, but there was always a part of me that wanted to slap someone.

The sound hung in the air a moment as Spock recoiled, cradling his cheek, before looking infuriated in my direction.

"How dare you speak to me that way. I was attacked, you know just as well as I do that I never instigated anything and your argument is entirely invalid!"

"I would not say that kissing another man is an invalid argument," he said, all but forgetting the smack.

"It wasn't even my fault!" I screamed. "How could you say those things to me and still feel worthy of your position? Do you have any idea what kind of pressure I am under right now?"

"If it is half of what I am experiencing-"

"Oh, you!" I was so angry I shook as I spoke. "It doesn't even matter what other people think does it? It's just you and your own little world; that's all that seems to matter!"

"Ensign-!"

"Did I ask you to speak?" I said and took another step toward him. "You have managed to single-handedly ruin my self-esteem and you believe it to be my fault? I didn't even remember what had happened and I received no help from you! I had to go to that," I paused, trying to keep my calm and emit the very tempting and colorful words I had running through my mind, "counselor Trello to figure it out and that is not something anybody should ever have to experience," I said angrily, "and furthermore, it was only a small infraction! If you should have been mad at anybody, it should have been him and if you had any level of higher intelligence, you would agree with me and we would be figuring out why he felt the need to drug me at all rather than arguing about which one of us is more selfish!"

"Ensign!" he yelled and held up a hand before I could quiet him again. "Don't shush me again, please! Hear me out," he said, "can you understand why maybe I was angry since I am the person to have gotten you on this ship in the first place? You would not be here if it was not for me and moreover," he paused. "Witnessing what happened…" he hesitated again. "It frightened me. It frightened me because I didn't want to lose you because I had made a hasty and unwise decision and didn't actually know who you were, but if you say that you were attacked then I will believe you," he said. "I only require the facts, do you understand?"

His words lowered my anger level as I computed them, but it still didn't account for all of the things he had said. "I was looking for an apology actually," I said spitefully.

"I'm sorry!" he yelled, holding his arms out and looking up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry for what I said and I'm sorry that I hurt you and," he had looked down and his expression had changed from one of anger to one of remorse and pleading as he looked at me. He almost convinced me to have sympathy for a moment; I didn't want to be angry at Spock. I just wanted it to be resolved and I didn't want this to ever happen again. "And I'm sorry that I am stupid sometimes and I just- I am so sorry," he whispered, suddenly becoming distraught. I couldn't deny that it felt good seeing him remorseful for what he had done. "I love you," he said.

"Kirk to bridge," the comm. sounded.

He looked at me blankly for a moment.

"Yes, captain?" he replied.

"Spock, is the bridge clear?" Kirk asked.

I continued eyeing him a bit angrily and he seemed to get the message.

"Not quite," he replied and closed the channel. "Is there something else that need be said?" he asked.

The Vulcan part of me knew that I should end it there and forgive him and not think any more about the things that he had said.

But the Romulan part of me still wanted to kick his butt.

"I think I might be able to forgive you one day," I said. "But you're going to have to earn it and it's not going to be so easy. That's the funny thing about minds; they don't heal quite as quickly as flesh. I accept your words as an apology, but don't think this is the end of it," I said.

"Spock?" the captain called again.

"Captain," he said and I turned on my heel. I heard him sigh behind me. "The bridge is clear," he said.

I walked to the elevator and it opened as I arrived, the captain stepping out first, looking expectantly at me.

"Did you hit him?" he whispered.

I looked down as a small grin pulled at the corner of my mouth. I looked up at him again as I got control of myself again and the captain was smiling.

"I followed your orders, sir," I said. He looked at Spock and I glanced as well to see an angry green welt on his cheek.

"Mr. Spock," the captain greeted him.

"Captain-" his voice cracked and he cleared his throat. "Captain," he repeated.

Kirk looked back at me with and raised a mischievous eyebrow at me, the smile growing on his face. "Well done, Ensign," he said quietly and walked past me into the room followed by his crew. McCoy came in last and I could see that he immediately looked at Spock, looking simultaneously worried and amused by the mark on his face.

"Good goodness woman, how hard did you hit him?"

"Hopefully hard enough," I said.

He let out a chuckle. "Let's get back to med bay before you can disappear on me again," he said.

His words were a sudden reminder that something had happened that John Harrison did not want me to remember and it was now my top priority to figure out what it was. I followed McCoy onto the lift, barely acknowledging him in return. I now had a renewed fear of what was happening in John Harrison's world and whether it was actually for the greater good.

The normal chatter for the bridge had resumed by the time the doors closed, leaving me in terrified silence.