oo1. Nice – After the self-confidence crisis that landed Shou as dangling bait in a child soldier's trap, Johan had realised Juudai wasn't nice to be sure—he was glorious (and that was what made him dangerous).

oo2. Tap – What Juudai had stirred was something Johan had kept shuttered, shunted, and stagnated within the stillest part of him, and yet the tapping had been so easy, and so soon Johan's everything had been welling.

oo3. Roses – "The colour is nice—rare, too," Juudai says, twiddling the deeply purple flower in his hand, "I think that everyone likes roses even if dudes really aren't supposed to be giving roses to other dudes, and, anyway, I knew that you wouldn't mind something like that."

oo4. Gagged – They asked him if he had any goodbyes to add to the letter, and Johan gagged on his silence.

oo5. Noisy – "Seriously, is it always this noisy around here," Juudai asked, meaning it rhetorically, not understanding that a family as large and loving as the Gem Beasts was often the opposite of idyllic.

oo6. Cat - Amethyst Cat lowered her head, pushed her ears flat, and was done delivering her latest list (of Reasons You Might Want to Look for Someone Else), and Johan smiled and thought he had never known a cat could be so maternal.

oo7. Blunder – The worst time had been when Juudai had walked in on him in the bathroom when attending to his (increasingly) usual morning needs—so mortifying an experience, that even years later the memory is enough to strike down Johan's libido, no matter how close his climax.

oo8. Cough – It's just a cough he'd said, while Juudai had said in reply, "Maybe, but in this place you live in, it's close enough to tuberculosis."

oo9. Tender – Juudai, with his Japanese palate, will insist on medium-rare being the most cooked he'll take his meat, but Johan's usually the one cooking, and he knows that something so tender isn't fit to be called a meal.

o10. Kickass - "Yeah, that's 'kickass'-seriously, that's slang that's still used by people over there!"

o11. Serious - "No," Johan says to the well-meaning clerk who's asked him this question over and over again, "it's not like that. We're not serious."

o12. Neglect – When Juudai's amorous little smirk is tugged wide by mischievous mirth, Johan immediately snaps up and shucks his shirt back over his belly, saying, "I'm not neglecting myself, I've just not regained the weight from that last pentathlon, it really ate a lot of muscle," which he concludes with a sigh that Juudai only laughs at.

o13. Sway(ing) – Juudai watches the dancers arc and arch and pose with such poise, and a new instruments flares up with a beat he sways and grins jauntily to, and he wonders how much Johan would like to visit Bollywood.

o14. Comedian – Johan stares at him, and Juudai stares back, eventually explaining, "Everyone used to think I was funny."

o15. Shadow Boxing – Johan always accepts any matches with a Hero deck, just to be sure that he is in top form for his rival.

o16. Incredible – Johan breathed the word between them so soft a susurrus it was almost to himself, but Juudai heard him and nodded, also taken by the eternal dawn unravelling before them.

o17. Mundane – There were some strange things about them that Johan was glad for: he couldn't imagine forcing Juudai to get his licence renewed, to sit in a doctor's office for a routine screening, or to consider what kind of life insurance they might one day need.

o18. Guide – "You're lucky Ruby's such a good guide, because one time I got lost on that island, and it must have been at least three days until I orientated myself again."

o19. Submerge – Johan awoke absolutely certain that it had been a nightmare—no less shaken because of his certainty, but he knew that he would never see Juudai submerged into the earth.

o20. Sidekick – If he ever felt just a little less than equal, Johan knew that that was his own projection.

o21. Hip – His second most favourite part of him, Juudai would say—would warn—before biting down and tugging out a satisfying fit of writhing.

o22. Collared – The thing about the collared jacket is the many ways it can be worn, each way with its different attitude, its suggestion, its revelation about the wearer beyond the he school he attended for that last tumultuous stretch of mandatory schooling; it piques Johan to see how much more denatured and destructured the collar has become in the time since their last meeting, yet he still won't let Juudai get away with turning his collar up in his presence, not until the day comes when the collar is so far gone it won't be able to hinder quick access to that one sweet spot beneath the ridge of his left jaw.

o23. Wallet – Johan said that without one he'd find it hard to manage, but Juudai got along just fine, though he did appreciate the concern.

o24. Roll – He almost rolled off the bed, he had moved gently to avoid awaking Juudai up, but an arm shot out to keep him in his place just a little bit longer.

o25. Hands – "Well of course mine are bigger, considering where I'm from—and I used to play piano too, you know."

o26. Jacket – Juudai pulled the new jacket to him for a little more protection against the wind, and the smell of it was what warmed him to his weary bones.

o27. Global warfare – Any hint of any conflict anywhere out there always makes Johan—increasingly an avid listener of the BBC—anxious, for there is always that constant unknown nagging at his mind, what if Juudai is there?

o28. Crazy – Once or twice he did wonder as he got older, but Juudai always returned, and he was never more sure.

o29. Indulgent – Johan rolled his eyes at Eagle as he took his hand off the oven dial, sure that the temperature was set just it needed to be, and he said, "Chocolate cake isn't being indulgent, it's being prepared for a guest."

o30. Party – It was on Saint Hansaften, when the sun and the sunlight hung yellow and dun in the sky, the world stuck somewhere between dusk and dawn, and Johan almost lost his balance after a misstep; then Juudai was behind him, tugged him back from the ledge and the fjord, but all Johan could offer him was some kind of gargled, blasted explanation about punch being unexpectedly spiked.

o31. Cry – Don't let him see you cry, Johan thought, and knew that this was important.

o32. Pound of flesh – Sweaty as they were, the sound they were making was little better than squelching.

o33. Punch – Juudai's fist pushed into the teenager's face, then pulled back, slick and wet, and in a moment the child was crumpled up in the alley next to Johan, the victim of a crime.

o34. Absorb – The soft white towel absorbed the profuse moisture from his skin, as he sat there on the toilet while Juudai drained the bath; then Juudai started to dry him; he did not look at him until Juudai accidentally brushed a knuckle over a bruise, and Johan slapped him across the nose.

o35. Stiff – The nice thing about the tree was its stiffness, so that Juudai could sleep with one less worry.

o36. Contract – Johan's contracts with his sponsor were over, so he took a break; he was not seen again for eighteen months, when he returned on the very last day of fall.

o37. Stumbling – They were drunk, and they stumbled into the apartment, together, arm in arm, shoulder to shoulder.

o38. Encounter – "If me seeing that light in sky was an encounter of the first kind, then I think yours in Neo Space must have been—what, the fifth kind?" Johan said, cheerful despite his desperate dehydration.

o39. Temple – His temple was the first place Juudai would kiss him when greeting him, when leaving, when getting ready—it didn't matter for what, he would always start there, and the tradition of it was so tender, so special, so simple, so good, so unlike anything Johan could have expected.

o40. Patio – On the hytta's patio they are, Juudai sleeping with his head in Johan's lap, Johan with his hands in Juudai hair; around them, the valley is haunted by wind.

o41. Candlelight – "At least a blackout is something that can be kinda romantic, hehe."

o42. Stripes – The new outfit wasn't working and Johan was sure to tell Juudai that because as far as he was concerned, the only place vertical stripes belonged was on a barcode.

o43. Foul – "Red card my ass, this damned crybaby should consider a career in acting, just look at him, the ball was no where near his knee!" Juudai heard, and decided that it probably was a good idea to hang out in the kitchen just a little bit longer to prepare those beers and snacks.

o44. Hurdle – They never talked about it, but Johan never started anything else.

o45. Chances – Though there had been chances—many, in fact—to have tried with others, there never was any interest on his side.

046. Forgotten – Asked what his greatest fear was, and Johan could only shrug and offer some flippant quip–that fear, of being forgotten, was too profound, too possible, for him to even contemplate.

o47. Unforgivable – Strange as it was, Johan never flinched during an honest recounting of what had happened, in his name, in that other place, all those years ago; the eeriest thing for Juudai, though, was the blame that he was expecting, and that never came.

o48. Sinking – Years have come and gone, and it is only recently that Johan has realised how far into his life he's sinking—you couldn't say he's grounded, but he certainly is rooted.

o49. Deal – Yubel was worried, sometimes, but the nature of the arrangement needn't be spoken: their time was limited, whereas hers was much more, and, eventually, would be most of it.

o50. Friendship – Once Johan remarked that their names sort of sounded like friendship, to which Juudai nodded—it was a good metaphor.