A/N: Takes place towards the end of the fourth season of Total Drama.

First Published: 7/17/13

Edited: 10/23/16

On an island with unlimited food, a pool, and a hot tub, it was the epitome of paradise. However, for twenty-four contestants, this place was more than just that. It was a haven. A haven from the drama and pressure of winning money. A haven from the fear of being recorded doing something that can never be undone. A haven from, well... Chris. At least, that's how it was supposed to be. Though most of the contestants would've still considered this place a haven, one person did not.

?'s POV

Last Night

After convincing her that I was too tired to join everyone at the party (which takes place every night anyway), I dashed towards the lobby before she had the chance to change her mind. I walked up to the elevator doors and pressed the button to go up. Right away, the doors opened and allowed me to walk inside. I closed my eyes, trying to focus on the elevator music and not on the twenty-four teens outside who could care less that I had left.

I opened my eyes. There's no need to think like that. Well, at least not anymore…

With a loud ding, the doors opened to my floor and I forced myself to put my thoughts on hold. I made my way down the hallway and turned to face the door leading to my bedroom. My key slid into the lock and I entered the room. Once inside, I made sure that everything was set in the right place. This was my only chance to make sure everything went right. Tomorrow would be too late. If even one thing was out of place tonight, then my whole plan would be for nothing.

I walked towards the balcony and looked down at the party. Looks the same as yesterday. With or without me. Some people were drinking alcohol they swiped from the crew members. Others were in the pool. Several were dancing (Or grinding. How tasteless). The viewer's favorite couple (according to Chris) was arguing. Nothing new. They'll make up tomorrow. One person was strumming his guitar while staring at the sky. At least he moved on. Not like me. One person was living the life that she dreamed of. I scowled. Your act may fool everybody, but not me. I kept looking around. One person was far away from everybody and seemed to be pacing while angrily muttering to himself. Hmm, I wonder... For a second, I considered almost going back down. Almost. Because what if that person knew... I quickly dismissed the thought before I could talk myself out of it. No, I've been careful. I hadn't given anything away or hinted at what was about to happen.

My vision started to become blurry as tears formed and threatened to fall. Water, I need water. With shaky hands I opened the mini fridge that all the rooms had, opened a bottle of water, and quickly took in a big gulp. My body started to calm down quickly after.

"I can't do this," I whispered to myself.

Stop being a little shit. You're a CIT for god's sake. Now is the time to do it.

"But what if-"

They don't care about you! Don't you think that if they did that someone would've checked up on you by now? Why do you think you're alone right now? Why do you think nobody every wanted to talk to you at any point on this island?

Every night, I had this same conversation with myself. Usually, at the end, I'd chicken out. Not tonight.

All of your other options failed. This is the only way.

I turned around and walked towards her bed. As I slowly sunk down into the mattress, I looked with the corner of my eye at the bottle resting on the night stand. Slowly, I popped open the cap and poured sleeping pills into my hand. I wonder how many I would need in order for this to work. One by one, I pop them in my mouth and took a swig of water. I could feel my eyelids getting heavy. I could feel darkness consuming me. I could feel nothing.

Bridgette's POV

The Next Morning

I knocked on her door and waited expectantly while humming the theme song to myself. No answer. I rapped on the door again. It's so unlike her to leave that early from the party, I thought. I mean, I know she's been leaving a little earlier every time, but usually, she'll leave after we have our latest update of who couldn't hold their liquor.

Still no answer. I knocked a bit louder this time.

"Courtney," I hollered. "You told me to be your wake up call for today, remember?"

I waited, tapping my foot impatiently. The door remained closed. I leaned against it in an attempt to hear any footsteps. Nothing. An exasperated cry escaped me. I mean, I don't know why I had to wake up at 8 am and do this and why she couldn't just use her PDA...

I banged on the door. "Come on, Courtney," I yelled. "Don't pretend that you're hungover because I know you. You won't even touch alcohol." There was no answer as I waited another minute. "Damn it," I cursed.

My hand went into my pocket, searching for the spare key that Courtney gave to me our first day on island. "That's it." I revealed the key and shoved it in the lock. "I'm coming in." And ready to give you a piece of my mind!

I could see Courtney on the bed as I entered. She's still sleeping. I put my hand on her shoulder and gave her a little shake. Why does she feel so cold? And why is she so pale?

"Courtney?" The unresponsiveness was as if I were standing out in the hallway again, talking to the door. I roll her over on her back. Huh. How funny. her chest isn't moving up and down. It's almost as if... Wait. I checked her pulse in her wrist, then in her throat. No heartbeat. "No... no... no!"

My heart pounded against my chest. My vision was starting to fail me. Is this some kind of sick joke? I felt like screaming and crying. I slapped myself across the face. Quit panicking and do something! Quickly, I performed CPR on her while praying for some sort of response. Instead, silence filled the room.

My stomach was in knots. Not knowing what else to do, I rushed over to the phone and called for paramedics. "It's going to be okay," I told Courtney, hanging up the phone trying to swallow back the tears. "You'll be fine."

I knew that the reassurance wasn't helping either of us. I looked down as I walked back towards the bed. What's that in her hand? I tried not to think about how cold her fingers were while I pried the paper away. It's a letter! Addressed to... Me? The paramedics were all over the room in minutes, and that left me to forget about the letter and focus on Courtney. Though I tried to stay positive, I already knew that it was too late.

BACK AT THE BEACH PARTY

"I just don't get it," Gwen said, trying her hardest to keep her blood from boiling. "Why are you doing this to us?"

Duncan rolled his eyes. To the viewing eyes of the audience during their third season, Duncan and Gwen appeared to be the perfectly happy couple. Back then, it was probably true. They were at one point happy together (and Duncan couldn't deny that Gwen was a great kisser). However, as time went by, Duncan realized that he wanted more in the relationship. He didn't want to just make out or hold hands. He wanted to talk with her… tell her everything on his mind… have a real relationship.

Gwen, in Duncan's opinion, couldn't be the one for that. Breaking up with Trent was hard for her. Instead, she focused on having fun in relationships that couldn't become too serious too quickly. It made sense after looking at what happened when she dived into a more serious relationship. The guy became obsessed with her.

"Look," Duncan began. "I just want something serious."

Gwen raised her eyebrow at him. He had to be joking. A delinquent wanting a serious relationship? That was unheard of.

"I thought that's why you cheated on Courtney. Because you couldn't handle a serious relationship," she said.

Duncan sighed. Yes, once upon a time, he thought he wanted to just have it easy and not be committed. Courtney wouldn't do that. And Gwen was so willing... He shook his head.

"I decided to try to get back with Courtney."

"Seriously?" Gwen looked at him incredulously. "You think she's going to take you back after all the shit you put her through?"

"No," he admitted. "I don't expect her to. But I did realize that I've actually been in love with her and been too scared to do something about it. I have to know what would have happened if I wasn't a coward and had done what I was supposed to do."

Quieter, almost to himself, he added, "What I felt for her… I don't think I can feel that way about anyone else."

Gwen glared daggers at Duncan. How dare he.

"And what about me?" Gwen asked.

Duncan smirked. "I'm sorry," he shrugged. "I thought you said you didn't want anything serious."

Heather felt as though she was in a dream. Walking towards her was everybody's dream guy, yet he chose her.

Before she was even on the show, Heather never thought that she would be able to get a guy that would be able to handle her. She would purposely give people a hard time. If they couldn't handle it, then they definitely didn't deserve her respect. They weren't even worth her time. Every time a guy would ask her out, she would play hard to get. Very hard to get. The same was true whenever someone would try to become friends with her. She knew it was mean, but hey, life is cruel anyway.

When the first season began, Lindsay didn't immediately become her friend as shown on TV. She had outright ignored Lindsay, belittling her whenever she the chance appeared. That is, until Lindsey finally got tired of the abuse and threw her make-up bag at Heather. Heather, though pissed off at first, found that she respected Lindsay. After that, she was comfortable to hang out with her throughout the first season.

Alejandro, her boyfriend, was a similar story. When he first kissed her, she pushed him down the hill. He didn't take it and told her off. He could stand up for himself, and that gained her respect.

Alejandro finally reached Heather. He lifted her hand with his and kissed it. She smiled.

This is the dream life she always wanted. It was finally happening.

Trent strummed his guitar. He sighed.

After the third season of Total Drama, even though he did not participate in it, he was offered his own record deal. However, they told him that one of the songs they expected from him was a love song. After being dumped on TV and having your ex date your bully, it was kind of hard to imagine writing a love song.

When the second season of Total Drama ended, he started a band with Cody, Harold, and Justin. They became instantly famous, and Trent dated a few fans. However, each of them was a disappointment. He couldn't picture getting serious with any of them.

There was that one girl that could have helped him through the slump he was in. And I just threw her to the side. Man, I'm the worst.

Trent put his guitar down and tried to look around for a couple that he could base his song on. Gwen and Duncan? No, it would be weird to sing a song about your ex. Besides, the way they were glaring at each other wasn't exactly material for the kind of song his producers were asking for. Heather and Alejandro? No, who wants to listen to a song about two bad guys getting together? Tyler and Lindsay? No, Lindsay can't even remember Tyler's name. Cody and Sierra? Maybe. He would just have to write it from Sierra's point of view and somehow sound less stalkerish. Then again, Cody was his friend, and Trent was pretty sure that Cody wouldn't approve. Geoff and Bridgette? No, Trent knew he couldn't write a three minute song about their make out sessions.

Besides, Bridgette wasn't even here. Where was she?

Noah sat up on his chair every time someone walked out of the lobby, and every time he ended up slumping back down in disappointment. He didn't know why he was even waiting for her. She didn't usually come out to the pool until later when it was less crowded.

"I should've talked to her last night," he mentally slapped himself. "But no! Had to chicken out once again."

"You know, talking to yourself is the first sign that you're crazy," Izzy said from behind him.

"How ironic," he muttered, not even bothering to turn around.

After spending three seasons on this godforsaken show, he had learned the art of ignoring Izzy, which included not making eye contact and walking straight over to another person, for starters. Right now, that person for him was Owen, who was the only one aware about Noah's secret crush. Actually, no, he took it back. Owen didn't know. But his guess was a close enough answer. I mean, they were both the same gender.

He tried to watch with a nonjudgmental eye as he neared the big guy gorging down possibly all the sausages the resort presented. Clearing his throat, he waited for Owen to notice his presence and give him the thumbs up to know that he's listening.

"I chickened out again," said Noah after receiving the signal. He looked down at his feet, disappointment washing over him like a cold shower.

Owen always hated to see his little buddy sad, so after gulping down the last of the sausage (I wonder if there's any more in the kitchens...) he smiled and said, "Cheer up. Today's a new day. You might finally get to talk to Bridgette," while giving him an encouraging (but very, very hard) smack on his back.

"Yeah, Bridgette, of course," Noah said sarcastically while rolling his eyes. Owen didn't notice and instead moved on to the burgers.

Courtney, where are you?

After the incident in the third season where people were trying to cuddle each other to keep warm and he chose Bridgette, the contestants started to spread the gossip of Noah's crush on a certain surfer girl. Noah didn't like Bridgette like that, but no one believed him. Except for one person, but that didn't matter now. Besides, it was better if people thought he liked Bridgette instead of Cody.

Bridgette tried to wipe her eyes dry, but the tears wouldn't stop falling. Courtney was her first friend in Total Drama. Sure, they went through hell (especially Courtney due to certain people), but she never thought it would somehow end like this.

"How could she do this to herself," she asked, knowing there was nobody there to answer.

Bridgette read the letter that Courtney addressed to her. In it, Courtney apologized to Bridgette about leaving her, but she promised that she would explain why she did it in the tape, which Bridgette was now holding in her hand.

She just had to get six people to watch it with her.

Walking outside, Bridgette looked around for her boyfriend, and once she locked eyes with him, signaled to turn off the music. Once that was done, she made her way up to the stage and tested the microphone to make sure it was working.

"Is this thing on," she asked. Geoff gave her a thumbs up. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath before continuing. No tears.

"I have terrible news." Her voice wavered. "Last night, one of our friends has left us. Forever." She stopped in order to prevent herself from crying right on stage.

Trying to distract herself, she watched the other's reactions. The contestants all looked around for the missing person. Which one was gone?

Then DJ spoke up, "So by left us forever, you don't mean..."

Bridgette nodded her head. "Yes… She died."

Gasps could be heard as people whispered to one another. There was a buzz in the air now. Who had done it? And why?

"And by she," Bridgette continued, "I mean Courtney. I would tell you all what exactly happened, but I think it's better if only a few close people knew. Noah..."

"I've never seen them interact before," whispered Eva to Ezekial in between the chatter. "I wonder why she wants him."

"Heather..."

"Although she's been nice to her in the plane," said Lindsay. "I've never seen her really talk to Courtney."

Beth nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I wonder what that's about."

"Duncan..."

"Why?" questioned Tyler. "He cheated on her. I thought she would be too mad to even mention his name."

"Gwen..."

"Her too," said Tyler.

"and Trent."

"You guys talked before?" Cody ask Trent, who chose not to answer.

"Let's go up to my room," said Bridgette.

Bridgette unlocked the door to her room and let everyone inside. She proceeded to lock the door and the balcony. She closed the shades and turned around, not looking anyone in the eye as they settled. There were so many questions. Bridgette knew that after this, she would never think the same of them again. She tried to hush the conversations that had endured the journey to her room.

"I know you guys have a lot of questions, but Courtney promised that all will be answered in these tapes." She carefully placed tape which had a neatly number one with sharpie in the tape player. Perfect. Just like her. She took a deep breath and pressed play.

"Hello everybody."

No one had been prepared to hear Courtney's voice. To them, hearing Courtney's voice was like hearing a ghost.

"I trust that Bridgette gathered all of you into a separate room in order to hear exactly what happened. So, I'll be blunt. I killed myself. For what reason? Well, I guess the simple answer is that I wasn't happy with my life, but that doesn't explain the reason you guys are here, does it?"

Courtney cleared her throat. "You guys are here..." She paused. "Because each and every one of you gave me a reason to kill myself."