One Sided Staring Contest

Yay! Finally got Amy! Never going back to King Fang's Lair ever again. Anyways, first one-shot…turns out to be a humor Grand Chase one. Anyways, I got inspired by this while writing a few chapters of my Teach Us! Sieghart Sensei! Story, with Grandark and Eclipse. So enjoy!

Disclaimer: Ryota doesn't own Grand Chase…yup.

The following takes place sometime after Kounat's Collapse.

"Stop right there Duel!" Elesis shouted at Duel, who was minding his own business in the default dungeon scenery that has yet to come to Grand Chase, as she pulled out her Ssanggeoms,

Duel looked at the Grand Chase who were running towards him and groaned. "Come on! What do you have against me!? I just want to bring back my darling-" Duel said this with while he swayed around in an' in-love way' with his body "-Edna. Why can't you just let me be!?" Duel finished, with an angry fist.

"Yeah!? Well you stole one of our members!" Sieghart yelled at Duel. "You must be making her suffer!"

"Huh? She's right over there," Duel said as he pointed at Mari who was sitting at a table in one part of the dungeon eating cake. She looked at Sieghart, waved, and continued eating cake.

"Oh…" Sieghart mumbled at a loss of words at how comfortable Mari made herself.

"Anyways! Duel! Hand over the 2 other demon swords!" Zero shouted at Duel.

"No!" Duel replied, turning his head away like how a stubborn child reacts to being told to do something.

"Please?"

"No!"

"Come on! I'll polish and sharpen them everyday!" Zero said.

"No means no!" Duel retorted, still being stubborn.

"Come on you old coot! Just hand over Eclipse at least!" Grandark said from Zero's back, his eye turning into a glare.

"Shut up Grandark! This is a serious talk between 2 demons! You stay out of it!" Duel shouted at Grandark.

"Why you bastard! I'm demon enough to rip you to shreds! Just hand over Eclipse and Transcendence then you won't have to get slashed to pieces by me!" Grandark threatened.

"No! Why don't you just come to me!? We could be called…" Duel pointed his finger up while Grandark, Eclipse, and Transcendence were stabbed into the ground behind him and a shining background was put up, "The Quad D-swords!" Duel declared, and he looked back to Zero and Grandark to see if they approved.

"….No, absolutely not," Grandark said as the scenery behind Duel cracked.

"Why not!?" Duel whined, "We could be the ultimate team! I'll wield all three of you like Zolo does in One Piece!"

"Duel, this is the Grand Chase era, we don't have television or computers, so we have no anime." Zero said to Duel.

"Really? That's not what Mari told me," Duel replied, pointing at Mari, who was fixing her Windows Vista laptop. Right next to the laptop was a Wide Plasma TV.

"Stupid Windows Vista, work you damn glitchy laptop!" Mari grumbled at her electronic, "Should've gotten Windows 7,"

The whole Chase just stared at the items Mari had.

"I think Mari came from the future, not the past," Amy piped up.

"Anyways!" Zero exclaimed, trying to bring them back to the subject.

"Oi! Duel! Do I get to make a debut in this story now!?" A female voice only heard by Zero, Grandark, Duel, and possibly Transcendence, butted in.

"Heeey! It's little Clipsy!" Grandark exclaimed, "How ya doing baby?"
"Shut the hell up Gran, I have no intentions of talking to you," Eclipse replied, which was the purple and red sword on Duel's back with no eye.

"…Ha! You know you love talking to me! Zero stab me into the ground and let my eye face Eclipse!" Grandark ordered Zero.

Zero shrugged and stabbed Grandark into the ground.

The Grand Chase groaned,

"This again?!" Sieghart moaned.

"Every time we go to this dungeon and find Duel it always leads to an imaginary conversation between swords!" Arme complained.

"Hopefully stupid Duel doesn't pull Eclipse out," Dio said, crossing his fingers.

Unbeknownst to the rest of the Chase except Zero and Grandark, the swords were ACTUALLY talking.

"Huh?! You wanna start something! Your way around women are getting old! Duel! Set me down now!" Eclipse roared.

"What? I wanna actually fight them this time!" Duel whined.

"Didn't you say you did not want to fight us at the beginning of the story?" Zero asked Duel.

"Opinions change over time," Duel told Zero.

"Right,"

"Whatever! Duel just set me down you stupid Demon Sword wielder!" Eclipse growled viciously at Duel, at least her voice sound vicious. She was a sword that had a voice, but no eyes…or eye for that matter.

"Okay, fine!" Duel pouted and stabbed Eclipse into the ground in front of Grandark.

"Softer next time!" Eclipse scolded Duel.

"What do you expect me to do?! Lightly dig you into the ground?!" Duel argued.

"Don't sass me! Without me and Transcendence you're just an old demon that can shoot dark balls!" Eclipse yelled at Duel.

Apparently, Duel took this hard, as he staggered over to a corner of the dungeon and with a black gloomy aura hanging over him and sat down rolled up in a ball.

"It's not my fault I lived this long, I wished I was born into the modern day you know!" Duel muttered to himself.

Eclipse looked (looked!?) over to Gran, "Well?! What do you want from me jerk face?!" She said menacingly at Grandark.

Grandark's eye rolled and looked at the ground, and it looked as if he was blushing somehow, completely fake of course. "Oh, nothing, maybe what I want maybe…you?" he sniggered.

"Wait till you're at least 100 years old and we'll see," Eclipse responded.

"I think I am over 100 years old," Gran said.

"Have you got any 5's?" Elesis asked Arme.

"Nope, goldfish," Arme replied as she adjusted the cushion known as a sleeping Sieghart.

"Arme, it's my turn to use that cushion," Lire said to her.

"Oh, here," Arme threw Sieghart's sleeping body at Lire. Lire grabbed it and sat on its back.

"The random flowers and stuff are convient, it's relaxing." Lire said as she got comfortable.

"Mmhmm," Elesis muttered as she swiped one of Lire's cards to make a pair.

"It's not like throwing dark balls at things is fun, Mother always said it was an excellent power, but I didn't like it. That one demon in my class got to summon blades from underneath the ground, why couldn't I have that?!" Duel muttered to himself, reflecting on how horrible his life was. Zero somehow walked over to Duel's corner and patted Duel's shoulder,

"We all have those kinds of days," Zero told Duel.

"Shut up! You don't understand me!" Duel said, waterfalls of tears coming out from his eyes. He then grabbed Transcendence and hugged it tightly, "You understand me right Transcendence? You never complain when I get you dirty, or when I polish you in the wrong spot. You're my soul mate here, if I'm unable to revive Edna then I'll marry you and we'll have a wonderful life with demon kids!" Duel muttered to the sword, hugging it closely. (Did I just…create the Duel x Transcendence pairing? Huh.)

"You're going to get married to a sword? And have kids?! How the hell will that work out!? And you don't even know if Transcendence is a girl!" Zero said to Duel.

"Shut up! It'll work out somehow! What about you!? You're going to get married and live with Grandark right?" Duel asked Zero.

"What the hell?! No way!" Zero shouted, though his curious mind was imagining how that would go.

[Within Zero's mind]

Grandark (the sword) was sitting at a dining table with a newspaper in front of him and a cup of coffee on the table while Zero was in….a dress…..and sweeping the floor.

"Don't forget to eat your specially made pancakes darling!" Zero said to Grandark (the sword)

"Yes honey," Grandark replied, his eye traveling away from the newspaper and at Zero.

After that, Grandark somehow traveled towards the door and was lying on the floor with a suitcase and a tie tied around him.

"I'm off to work now honey," Grandark said.

"Yes, good luck darling!" Zero called, lifting his dress up slightly and curtsying.

After Grandark (the sword) left the house, Zero went over to the stove and began to cook a meal for his…husband's….return.

[Moving out of Zero's mind]

"NO!" Zero yelled as he began to bang his head on one of the dungeon platforms, "NO! NO! NO! NO!" he yelled with each bang to the head.

"It seems he's enjoying the fantasy Transcendence," Duel said to the sword.

"…" was the entire sword's response.

"Quiet, but cool, I like that about you," Duel said to Transcendence and was about to lean in to kiss the sword but was interrupted by a loud-

"DUEL!" Eclipse yelled.

"What?" Duel glared at Eclipse.

"This battle isn't fair!" Eclipse whined.

"What battle?" Duel asked, slinging Transcendence over his shoulder again.

"Grandark gets to have a freaking eye and I freaking don't have one! It isn't fair in this staring contest!" Eclipse yelled.

"Oh, jealous of my sexy giant eye now are we?" Grandark sniggered.

"Oh you little! I just want to wring my hands around your neck and-" Eclipse growled.

"Kiss me?" Grandark attempted to finish Eclipse's sentence.

"No! To god damn strangle you to death!" Eclipse howled as Arme was doing that very thing to Sieghart because Sieghart was saying something about Arme's flat chest. How does that even work out on an immortal? Do his lungs just suddenly begin to work again after being strangled? Anyways, enough of the author's monologue.

"Duel! Tape an eye onto me! Make it purple and very big and circular! If I don't get an eye, then this staring contest is extremely one-sided!" Eclipse ordered Duel.

"Where am I supposed to find one of those?!" Duel asked Eclipse.

"Here," Mari said, handing Duel and piece of printed paper that had a big, purple, round eye on it, that was printed from one of her other great inventions, the, of course, Printer!

"Oh, thank you," Duel said to Mari as he cut it out with kid scissors and taped it on Eclipse.

"Ha! Now we can finally have a decent staring contest!" Eclipse boasted at Grandark.

"How is that possible? Your eye is paper, you're pretty much unable to blink, and the staring contest is one-sided to you now." Grandark told Eclipse.

"Whatever! You also need to shrink to my size!" Eclipse yelled at Grandark.

"This is my 4th job size, it's not my fault I'm able to grow and you're not, hahaha!" Grandark laughed.

"I hope you get snapped in half someday," Eclipse attempted to make her paper eye scowl, but was unsuccessful.

"Ugh! I've had enough! I'm leaving the dungeon!" Arme shouted, throwing her hands up indignantly and began to walk out of the dungeon.

"Yeah, maybe we should come next time without Zero and Grandark," Lire said as she followed Arme.

"We'll be back Duel! Prepare yourself next time!" Elesis yelled at Duel.

"We'll be back to get to save you Mari!" Sieghart hollered to Mari. Mari just waved good-bye in response.

As Grandark and Eclipse were having a staring contest, with Eclipse being to obvious winner since her paper eye was incapable of blinking, Duel looked at Zero who was still hitting his to the dungeon platform and shouting NO with each hit.

"Zero, I think your party just ditched you," Duel said, pointing at where the rest of Chase left the dungeon.

"Huh, oh…I guess it's understandable why they did that." Zero replied, momentarily lifting his head from the mind cleansing head-beating.

"RAAAAAAAAAH!" Grandark roared.

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Eclipse howled.

"What are they doing now?" Zero asked Duel.

"I think they're having mind battles now, like in Dragon Ball Z." Duel answered.

"Enough with the anime references Duel," Zero told Duel.

"I'm a shut-in otaku, don't make me change who I am," Duel replied, glaring at Zero.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOO!" Grandark and Eclipse roared at each other.

"Wonder how long this'll last..." Zero asked himself as he looked longingly at the exit of the dungeon.

Woo! There goes my first ever one-shot! Thanks for reading this…random story! By the way, I'm not making assumptions of what happens after Kounat's Collapse! This is just a random story!

Review, Fave, and do whatever you like to this story!