Here we go again. I'm supposed to be working on my other stories but guess what? This plot bunny jumped in my brain and would not move, and thanks to Christina Perri, who helped the bunny, this story was born. They teamed up together...the little bastards. I love the song Distance. It's just so...I can't explain what it does to me, if you haven't listened to it, what are you waiting for?
Anyways this is a Bella/Paul story...lately I've been reading a lot of Paul fics...I've been sucked in. Gah! And I think that Paul fit the whole theme perfectly. If the story seems disjointed, blame my brain. It was all over the place sometimes, but hopefully its not that bad right? *crosses fingers, eyes, toes and legs* LOL
It's rated M, for language.
All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Myer. The song Distance and any similarities to the lyrics belong to Christina Perri and whoever else. Me? I own a Jacob Black key chain. *shrugs* Hope you enjoy, let me know what you think yeah?
Distance
He watched her from afar, his heart clenching as her husky chuckle reached his ears. The rosy hue in her cheeks from the mirth along with the cool wind off the sea, enthralled him. And it took all of his energy to keep from running to her side. His body demanded that he did, so did his heart, but his willpower was stronger.
It had to be.
He didn't want to feel this way about her.
In some ways he respected her, grudgingly.
She was without a doubt the bravest woman he had ever met.
She dated a frigging vampire and lived to tell the tale.
Of course there was the time after the blood sucker left, and she had spiraled into almost nothingness. And then she was saved by the person who loved her almost as much as he did.
Jacob Black.
Even now Jake was all over her, constantly touching her. Making her laugh. Making him angry.
He hated this feeling.
He tried to fight it, he really did, but it hurt.
So fucking much.
This whole imprinting thing was a laugh.
He didn't want it.
It made him feel powerless, unable to do anything about it.
He had no choice.
And in some ways it made him resent her.
Oh, it wasn't her fault. Not really.
Thing is, she was good with weird. Always had been, so it wasn't that she would reject him, but he didn't want her to feel for him because of some magical bullshit.
His heart skipped a few beats as her big, chocolate eyes met his, a smile on her lips.
Was that smile for him?
He had made fun of the other imprints, laughing as their balls got snipped and they were made weak by having their feet swept from under them and bound to their women, unable to function properly without them. Now, he was just like them.
The only difference between them and him was that he suffered in the privacy of his own inner hell.
He had always been good at hiding his feelings, keeping his thoughts to himself.
It was the way he had been conditioned into life.
He had always been a loner.
And he had to fight for what he wanted, all his life.
The aggression made it easy to dissuade anyone from invading his mind, and for that he was grateful.
He watched as Jake nuzzled her cheek, making her giggle.
His fists folded at his side, and he had to check himself before he growled and drew attention to himself. He took a calming breath and continued watching her, even though now she had turned away from him, talking to one of the younger pack members, Colin, it looked like.
She was so good with everyone.
Almost like Emily's double, but with an edge.
Where as Emily was sweet and wholesome, never raising her voice, almost submissive, she was different.
She stood up for herself.
Fought for what she wanted.
Defended the people she cared about.
The people she loved.
People like Jake.
That's what started this whole mess. Her love for Jake.
His mind went back to the day it happened.
The day he imprinted on Bella Swan.
**Distance**
"You did this to him!" she was screaming, heading towards them at an unusually fast pace for her.
He and the pack had just come out of the woods, to check on Jacob. It had been just a few days since he phased and they wanted to make sure he was alright.
Of course it was a mere formality.
Jacob was a natural, but that was to be expected.
He was, after all, the rightful Alpha of the pack.
What they didn't expect was for Bella to be there.
They were aware of the fact that she and Jake had been spending a lot of time together, and it was no secret that Black harbored a sickening puppy love crush on Bella. It was all he thought about.
Bella this, Bella that.
They were all sick of it.
And now the loop was stuck on when she told him he was kinda beautiful.
What sort of gay ass shit was that?
He had laughed his head off at that, earning a snap from Jake.
He relished the fight. Lived for it.
The kid was good, he'd give him that.
"Back off little girl," he snarled as she came to a halt in front of them.
"What did you do to him?" she screeched, hysteria giving pitch to her voice.
"What did he tell you?" he snapped at her. Sam placed a restraining hand on his chest.
He could feel the anger bubbling in his chest, his wolf tearing to be free.
And he had wanted nothing more to let him go. No matter what Sam said.
"He didn't tell me anything!" she shouted, "He doesn't tell me anything anymore, since he started hanging out with your gang!" she replied to Sam, ignoring him.
"Aww," he said bitingly, goading her, "Little Jakey doesn't tell his precious Bells anything anymore?"
He saw the slap coming, but he just couldn't stop it.
The warm imprint of her hand stung his face and he couldn't contain his anger anymore.
Quil and Embry were joking, as usual.
"Ohh she's gone and done it now," one of them said.
"Paul!" Sam snapped, but he was too far gone. He felt the heat take over his entire body and suddenly he was no longer standing in front of her in human form, his wolf burst out and nearly struck her with its gigantic paw.
She gasped and their eyes met, and that's when it happened.
If he had been in human form, his knees would've buckled under him, but all he could do was whine piteously. She didn't even seem to be afraid, no, she was just in a bit of shock.
The trees closed in, the sounds faded into the background until all he could see, smell and hear was everything her.
Her scent wafted into his nostrils, she smelled like spring. Flowery and sweet, her heart was racing and her breaths were coming out in short bursts, but still, she wasn't afraid.
"Bella!" Jacob was now flying towards us.
Kid is fast, he thought as he bared his teeth, snapping his jaws together.
He was gearing up for a fight. A fight he knew he was surely gonna get.
Bella blinked, breaking their contact and whirled around to Jake.
"No Jacob!" she cried, starting to run towards him. "It's not safe."
Typical Bella.
Here she was facing down an enormous wolf and she was trying to rescue a man that outweighed her by at least one hundred and fifty pounds, even when she was wet.
He didn't have time to worry about her absolute disregard for her humanity, because one minute a very human Jacob was rushing towards her and the next minute a very sharp set of teeth were digging into his shoulder.
Ah, glorious violence.
He and Jake had fought, breaking trees in the forest, snapping, biting and nearly killing each other in the heat of the moment.
His mind had closed off, focusing mainly on the prize.
Jugular.
Kill.
Dominate.
His mind had been racing, but Jacob, born with innate prowess, got the better of him and bit at his under belly, swiping him off his feet and snapping his powerful jaws inches from his jugular.
"That's enough!" Sam's Alpha timbre echoed in both their brains, and they sprung apart as if by some unseen magic, snorting and panting. Circling each other, ready to spring at each other had not for the Alpha order.
Yet another thing he despised.
"Phase back and get to my house. Bella is there and she's very afraid and confused," Sam said.
"I need to cool off," Paul said.
"Fine. Go. She needs Jacob anyway," Sam said, turning and effectively dismissing the silver wolf.
The wolf turned on its heels and loped off into the forest. His wounds already healing, his thoughts chaotic.
He didn't go back to Sam's that night.
And that's when the watching her from a distance began.
**Distance**
She felt his eyes on her again.
Burning into her skin, and she longed to scratch away her skin.
She turned ever so slightly, and sure enough there he was, sitting across the way on a log, watching her.
He looked so indifferent, as if he'd rather be somewhere else, yet there he was.
Staring.
It made her feel uneasy.
"Is he watching you again?" Jacob asked, his lips brushing her ear, tickling her.
"Yes," she whispered lowering her gaze and fiddling with an imaginary string on her shirt.
"Want me to say something to him about it?" Jacob asked, an edge to his usually cheerful voice, his jaw set stonily.
Did she?
She decided no.
She didn't want them fighting.
She didn't ever want him fighting.
And that confused her and scared her at the same time.
Since the day she had slapped him, she had felt different.
When their eyes had met, human and lupine, it felt as though her world had shifted.
And her heart had ached at the thought of Jacob hurting him.
"He's not bothering me," she said quietly.
"You sure?" Jacob persisted.
She gave a small nod and turned to Colin who had asked her a question.
Even though she had turned away from him, she was super aware that his gaze hadn't left her.
It made her skin tingle, and a heat that was incomparable to any feeling she'd ever had, spread through her stomach and spread through her loins.
She couldn't possibly be feeling anything for Paul Lahote.
Could she?
She denied it vehemently, she didn't want it to be true.
Why couldn't she just love Jake?
He loved her, never once failed to show her just how much.
He was always touching her, his body close to hers, sometimes closer than necessary.
He told her every day he would wait for her.
She was a mess.
Here she had a boy, no, a man who was willing to move the Heavens for her if she so desired and once again she was leaning towards someone else.
She was so tired of hurting Jake, and she gave a sigh and stood.
"You ok?" he asked, immediately placing his hand on her back.
She tried to smile, and managed to pull off a small one. She patted her back mentally for that, "Just going to the bathroom."
"Sure, sure," he said with a smile. "Be careful."
"It's only just behind the trees Jacob," she snapped.
Yes, she was clumsy but she thought she could handle a walk three feet away without killing herself.
She really didn't need to use the bathroom, just needed a few minutes alone to clear her head. She didn't wander too far, listening as the sounds of chatter and laughter floated towards her.
She had been hearing some interesting stories from the girls, stories of love and magic.
Imprinting.
Apparently it didn't happen to everyone, she was sure it hadn't happened to Jacob.
If it was a regular occurrence, she was sure Jacob would've forced himself to imprint on her.
No, this was apparently rare.
The theories behind it all made her head hurt.
At night she dreamed.
Dreamed of him.
The silver wolf.
Vicious, feral, and undeniably sexy.
And she wanted to be near him always.
It was as if she was being pulled to him by some unseen magnet.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the snapping of a twig under someone's foot.
Deliberately.
She looked towards the sound and there he was.
His dark eyes glittering as he stalked towards her, in his slow deadly pace.
She tried to calm down, her heart beating rapidly against her rib-cage.
"W-what do you want?" she asked, her voice shaking.
He remained silent, getting closer with each breath she took, until he was standing directly in front of her.
Her pulsed raced and her body tensed in anticipation.
His hands came up and shadowed her bare arms, causing goosebumps to rise on her skin, his hot breath warming her face as he towered over her.
She waited.
And she kept waiting.
Her eyes fluttered up to his, and the hunger she saw mirrored there was enough to make her stumble back. The intensity of it knocking the wind from her.
His hands flashed out, with supernatural strength and steadied her.
As he did this, something, much akin to an electric shock coursed through her.
His sudden gasp told her that he too, had felt it.
His face was dangerously close to hers now, and she licked her lips unconsciously.
His eyes followed her every move, and if it were possible, his eyes darkened even more.
She realized then, that she wanted him to kiss her.
In fact she craved it.
Her eyes traced his face, finally resting on his mouth. Silently urging him to take the final step.
His head lowered, and her eyes fluttered closed, waiting for the touch of his lips against hers.
The touch that never came.
"Stay away from me, little girl," he growled in her ear before letting her go and turning and walked out of the forest. Leaving her alone, her emotions and thoughts now more muddled than before.
**Distance**
That day in the forest had only been the beginning of their unorthodox relationship.
And it was a relationship.
Albeit it was more one-sided than ever.
She spent most of her days on the reservation now, helping Emily with the cooking.
The Cullens were gone, but that didn't stop the stray vampire from crossing on to the lands. And every time the alarm went up, her heart would stay arrested in her chest until she saw him physically, making sure he was fine,
And despite his warning, it seemed that he had trouble staying away from her.
His eyes still watched and noted everything she did.
And somehow he always managed to get them alone at some point.
Nothing was said between them at these times, just intense bouts of staring and warring emotions. The tension around them was palpable.
She needed someone to talk to about it with, but who?
She chose to talk to Emily.
"And how do you feel about him?" Emily asked in her calm way.
"I..." Bella began, her thoughts sticking the words across her throat.
What she had been about to say wasn't even plausible.
She couldn't possibly love him, she knew nothing about him!
They had barely said ten words to each other, give or take a few.
"You...?" Emily prompted.
"I love him," Bella whispered, no longer able to deny the truth of the matter.
"Wow," Emily said from beside her at the sink.
Bella sighed heavily, she understood what Emily was saying in that one word.
That's exactly how she felt by all this. Overwhelmed and shocked beyond reason.
"He doesn't even know I exist," she groused. "Do you think if I pretended to be interested in Jacob..." she let the words drift off.
She didn't really want to use her best friend like that, but she was desperate.
"If you think that would help," Emily replied quietly.
And so Bella decided that she would go through with her sordid plan.
Operation Make Paul Jealous.
And Jacob would be more than willing to participate, even if he didn't know he was involved.
The poor fool was so excited to see Bella he didn't question her motives, his arms automatically lifting her in the air and spinning her around.
"Hey Bells," he said kissing her cheek.
"Hey Jake," she replied with a giggle. "Whatcha doing?"
"Was about to go work on the Rabbit," he replied, keeping her body against his, hugging her his excuse for the never ending embrace, "Wanna help?"
She laughed, "I'd probably better just sit and watch you. I'd probably find a way to get us blown up."
"You're not that bad Bells," he said kissing her jaw again.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," she said with the sweetest smile.
"Anytime Bells," he said, flashing his Jacob-y smile at her. The smile that warmed her insides. The smile of her sun.
She owed Jacob her life.
In so many ways, he had been the one to save her from herself, all those months she just sat there, staring into nothingness.
Pining after him.
After Edward.
"Hey," Jake said, waving his hand in front of her face, "Where'd you go?"
Bella smiled, "I was just thinking how much I love you."
Jake's smile could light up the world, "I love you too Bells."
Bella laughed, not wanting to get too deep, too soon.
"So what are we gonna do after?" she asked.
"The guys are having a bonfire down on the beach later," he said with a shrug. "Wanna come?"
Her heart jumped at the prospect of seeing Paul, she had to calm herself before answering, "Sure, not like I have anything else planned."
"Great," Jake grinned before turning back to tinkering on the parts in front of her.
They spent the better part of the day talking and joking around, while Jake worked.
She ordered some pizzas, since she knew Quil and Embry would be stopping by sometime during the day, and sure enough a few minutes after the pizza arrived the two goofs bound into the garage.
"We smell food," Quil crowed sweeping Bella into a hug.
She hugged him back and grinned, "Pizza. Dig in."
"Hey!" Jake protested. "I didn't plan on sharing this with you two morons."
Embry rolled his eyes and gathered up three slices in his hands, "No one asked you dude," he said with a laugh before devouring the pizza within seconds.
More laughter ensued and soon it was time for them to start getting ready for the bonfire.
"Do you mind if I go home and change?" she asked, smiling shyly at Jake, ignoring Quil and Embry's snickers.
"You look fine," Jake said.
And she believed him, hell if she were wearing a potato sack, Jake would've cared less.
"Thanks but I wanna freshen up and you know...girl stuff," she said, batting her eyes.
Jake was rendered helpless in her presence.
"You could take her home Jake, you know wolf style," Embry said wiggling his eyebrows.
Bella's eyes widened, she had never thought about that before. It sounded like fun.
"Would you?" she asked looking to Jake.
"If that's what you want," Jake said with a careless grin.
"I'd love to," she replied, "I've never ridden a wolf before."
"Then it's settled," Jake said standing up. "Let's go."
They all walked out side and Jake stripped down, the grin never leaving his face as he watched Bella's skin brighten.
"I forgot you guys have to be..." she trailed off looking at the ground.
"It's no big deal," Jacob said, and then in what seemed like a split second, her best friend was gone, and replaced by a giant russet colored wolf.
"Jake?" she whispered.
The wolf stepped forward, sniffing at her and then its huge tongue lolled out of its mouth and swiped the right side of her face.
Bella smacked his muzzle playfully, "Ewww Black."
The wolf gave a snort, that sounded like a laugh and Bella rolled her eyes. Turning to Quil and Embry she waved, "See you guys soon?"
"Yeah," they chirped. "Jake's really fast. You'll be back in no time."
Jake the wolf stooped down, almost crawling on his stomach, waiting for her to climb on.
"If you drop me, I swear I won't speak to you for a month," Bella said as she climbed onto his back.
"Oh!" she cried. "You're so soft."
The wolf gave a huff and rose to his feet, making her gasp in wonder, her tiny hands buried in the tuft of its neck.
Bella buried her face in the soft fur, and inhaled.
He still smelled like her Jacob. All sunshine and surf.
She wondered what Paul smelt like.
It was then she realized that the wolf hadn't moved; was he waiting for her go ahead?
"I'm good Jake," she whispered, knowing he could hear her. "Let's do this."
With a playful yelp, the wolf started off at a slow lope and Bella squealed. She remembered running on his back, how fast it had been, and how sick it had made her. This was different.
Yes, the wolf was flying over the ground, but the softness of his paws made the movements he made graceful, and her stomach didn't feel as though it were going to drop through her toes. No, she felt at peace.
He stopped just behind the tree line outside her house and set her down.
"Thank you," she blustered. "Wanna come in?"
The wolf shook it's head, and blew hot hair on her.
"I'll take that as a no," she said running her fingers through the fur at his neck, and he purred.
"Be back soon Jake," she said turning and heading to the house to get ready.
The wolf huffed and settled down, shadowing her every step, ready to come to her assistance, but she made it into the house unscathed.
**Distance**
"Paul come help with these coolers," Emily called.
Paul grunted and made his way over to Emily, "Anything else?"
"Yeah," she said, "Quit staring at Bella Swan."
His mouth hung open as he watched the den mother walk away.
Was it that obvious?
Did everyone else realize that he was staring at Bella every time she was in close proximity to him?
He grabbed the coolers and looked around at his pack brothers, then he scoffed mentally. These pups wouldn't know that a meteorite hit the beach even if it fell directly in front of them. They were all caught up in their own worlds, and that suited him just fine.
No Emily noticed because she was Emily.
It was what she did; looked out for them.
He put down the cooler and grabbed a beer, not that alcohol had any effect on them. It would take at least twelve cases of beer to even cause that buzzed feeling associated with drunkenness. Everyone else was slowing trickling in, the imprints were huddled together, laughing at something or the other while some of the guys were play fighting. He noticed that one person wasn't there.
"Where's Jake?" he asked Embry as he passed by.
"Giving Bella a ride," the younger man said with a wiggle of his brows.
"What?" Paul growled.
"He should be here soon," Embry said, sobering up and stepping away from Paul. He didn't feel like getting into it with the aggressive shifter at the moment. As he walked away, he wondered why Paul reacted the way he did to what he said.
Paul went back to his thoughts, trying to get them from straying to her, but that was futile. It only got worse when the wind blew and he smelt her.
Spring.
Only this time it was tinged with something else.
Fucking Jacob Black.
And then they were there.
Jake and Bella.
Like always.
Jacob's arm was draped over her shoulder, pulling her close to him and she was smiling up at the fool boy with such adoration in her gaze, his stomach felt as though it was being ripped out.
"So Bella," Quil shouted out, drawing her gaze to him, "How did you like riding a wolf?"
She blushed.
"It was fun," she said with a giggle looking up at Jake who was fucking preening. Paul wanted to punch his face in.
"Gonna do it again?" Embry asked, "Ride a wolf? You can ride me next."
The way he said it sounded so sexual, Paul saw red.
The only fucking wolf Bella was to ride was him.
Yet, that couldn't be the case. He didn't want to want her. He was still trying to fight this...whatever it was.
He got up and stomped off down the beach, hearing the others murmuring behind his back. He didn't give a shit what they said, he was used to it. He could feel her eyes on him, he wanted nothing more than to just snatch her away from Jake's arms, but he couldn't.
She deserved someone better than him.
She was better off with Jake.
I love you.
His heart whispered it, he wouldn't let the words slip out of his mouth.
She could never know how he felt. No one could.
"Paul?" a voice behind him sounded.
"I don't want to talk about it Emily," he growled.
"What's going on with you and Bella?" she asked, completely ignoring him.
He huffed and sat on the cold sand, and waited for her to join him.
"Nothing."
"Then why is she asking about you?" Emily said.
She was asking about him?
"What did she ask you?" he said turning his head to look at her.
"Nothing significant, but she seems to...like you," Emily said the last part as though it was almost impossible to like him.
It wasn't her fault that she thought that way, that everyone else thought that way. It was the way he wanted it to be, the way he liked it to be.
Or so he kept telling himself.
"She shouldn't," he stated simply, returning his gaze to the black waters.
"But she does, and if I didn't know better," Emily said watching him, "I'd say you liked her too."
"She has Jake," his heart clenched at those words, his wolf tore at his insides in vehement denial.
She was theirs.
She didn't belong to some pup who couldn't even accept his rightful place at the head of the pack.
"You know you can talk to me about anything right?" Emily said softly placing a hand on his shoulder.
"There's nothing to talk about," he said, his tone surly.
Emily sighed and stood up, dusting the sand from her pants. "If you change your mind, you know where to find me."
He stayed there for a few more minutes, before he followed her back to the group. Everyone had plates in their hands, there was animated talk all around, and he could still smell her.
His eyes were drawn to her, like a moth to a flame.
She was beautiful.
Her hair was blowing in the wind, the curls floating behind her and she was wearing a dress.
White and pure.
Just like her.
She looked up then, her eyes meeting his, and she blushed furiously before looking away, turning her attention back to Jake.
Jake.
He was sitting too close for Paul's liking, his arm still draped over her, his fingers touching the soft skin on her arm. Skin that he should be touching, not someone else. The wolf was going crazy. Another man was touching its imprint, another man was doing what he was being forced not to do.
Paul took a deep breath, calming himself and tamping down the wolf. He had no other choice. He didn't have any claims on Bella, and he wouldn't ever tell her what to do.
Jake looked over at him, a cocky grin on his face and then he leaned down and pulled Bella's face to his, kissing her full on the lips.
Paul lost it.
**Distance**
One minute she and Jake were talking, laughing at something, the next Jake's lips had been planted on hers.
Bella's brain froze and she didn't know if to sink into the kiss or push him away. She didn't get a chance to, Paul beat her to it.
Jake's face was ripped off hers by a very angry Paul.
He was full out snarling, his eyes no longer the dark pools she knew. The orbs were yellow, and she knew that his wolf was fighting hard to reach the surface. She screamed when he pulled back and punched Jake in the face, causing the younger man to stagger backwards, spitting blood out of his mouth.
"Stop it!" she cried almost tripping over her feet as she tried to get to them.
A warm hand crushed her waist, pulling her back, "Stay put Bella!" Sam Uley's voice sounded above her head.
She shoved at his arm, "Let me go Sam!" she said, her eyes wild as she watched, unable to do anything, as Paul and Jake exchanged blows.
"It's too dangerous," Sam said.
"Fucking let me go!" she yelled, and Paul froze, his head turning towards her, his gaze locking on Sam's, a growl bursting out of his chest. This distraction caused Jake to snap his head back with a swift right hook.
The tears came, hysterical and then she was free from Sam's arms and she was running. Running towards the melee.
"Paul!" she gasped, coming to a stop in front of him.
"Bella!" this from Jacob, "Get away from him, it's not safe!"
She ignored him as she dropped to her knees, Paul was shaking uncontrollably, snarls and growls emitting from his body. Her tears were flowing freely, her heart ached.
"Paul..." she said, whisper soft, her hand moving to touch him.
"Bella," Jake was talking again, but someone or a few someone's were holding him back. He sounded angry, but she couldn't focus on him now. She was focused on Paul and the pain she was feeling, the pain he was feeling.
"Bella," Sam said and she heard Emily speak up, "Leave her alone Sam, let her do this."
She silently thanked Emily and refocused her attention on Paul, who was crouched over, his body writhing.
"Paul," she said softly, soothingly, "It's me...I'm here."
His head snapped up, his eyes yellow and wild, "Mine."
Everyone heard it. There was no mistaking what he had said.
Jake was struggling furiously in Embry's grasp.
Bella touched him, the tears streaming down her face, she had to touch him.
And everyone on the beach witnessed what they thought was impossible, as soon as Bella's flesh met Paul's, the man's body calmed right down.
No more snarling, no shaking, his eyes returned to their normal color and he just watched her.
She inched closer to him, her knees touching his, and then she threw her arms around his broad frame.
Paul felt the angry energy leave his body the instant she touched him, and now she was hugging him and his wolf was purring.
She was theirs.
His.
His Bella.
"Mine," he whispered again hoarsely.
He felt her nod into his neck, and then her soft voice washed over him, "Yours."
"He imprinted on her," someone said from above them.
"I'll be fucked," someone else murmured.
Paul didn't care.
He didn't care anymore.
Everything that mattered was right there in his arms.
And then reality snuck in and reared its ugly head.
He inhaled deeply, bathing in her scent, loving it, and dreading what he was going to do next.
"I have to go," he said, easing her away from him.
"I'll go with you," she said, her eyes wide and trusting.
"No," he said. "I need to be alone."
Her face fell, and then she sighed, "I'll be waiting for you."
And he loved her more then.
She knew.
She understood the turmoil that was going through his mind.
And of course she did.
She was his other half, the one who completed him.
The wolf had accepted that from the beginning, but the man was the one having issues with it. It was the man who had to embrace this in order for anything to happen for them.
With one final glance at her, he turned and ran into the woods, soon after a mournful howl was heard and Bella crumbled.
**Distance**
"Bellaaaa," a voice sounded in her dreams. Sounded a lot like Jacob, but no, that couldn't be. Jacob wouldn't want to be anywhere near her after what had transpired on the beach.
"Bells, come on," the voice said again.
It was Jacob.
"You've been sleeping long enough," he groaned.
She opened her eyes slowly and was met with his concerned face dangerously close to hers.
"Back up," she said, her voice coming out scratchy.
"Sorry," he said moving back and giving her a tentative smile.
"You must hate me," she said quietly, her eyes filling with tears.
He looked at her, his mouth hanging open, "Why would I hate you?"
"Because of...I led you...I'm a horrible person," she said hanging her head.
Jacob chuckled and pulled her into his lap, "Oh Bells, don't you know I know you better than anyone? I knew you were just trying to make Paul jealous."
She blinked her eyes and foolishly asked, "You did?"
"Bells, I'm a wolf. Every time he was around your heart rate escalated and I could smell your...attraction to him," he said clearing his throat.
"Oh my God," Bella said mortified.
Jake laughed, "Hey it's ok. I'm still your best friend. I wish you had just been honest with me but I can over look that."
"I'm sorry I used you," she said dropping her head on his shoulders.
"Couldn't have been used by a better person," Jake said.
"I really do love you, you know," she said with a sniff.
"Ditto," he said hugging her close. "So what are you gonna do about Paul?"
That question gave her pause, what indeed?
Two days later that question was still going through her mind and she still didn't have an answer.
Add that to the fact that she hadn't seen Paul, not once.
She made it her business to be on the rez almost every day, but he was no where to be found.
And she was getting no answers from anyone, making her very angry.
"This is a bunch of bullshit," she said to Emily as they prepared lunch for the pack sans Paul.
"I'm sorry I can't help you," Emily said with a sigh.
"No," Bella spat angrily, "You don't want to help me."
"It's not that Bella," she said with a shake of her head.
"Did Sam order him to stay away from me? The way he did with Jake?" Bella asked.
Emily looked stricken, "He ordered Jake to stay away from you?"
"Yes," Bella nodded, "Just after he phased. When I needed him most."
"I'm sorry," Emily said reaching out to pat Bella's hand.
"It's the past, but..." Bella said then stopped speaking with a frustrated huff.
"He wouldn't do that to Paul, he couldn't," Emily said quietly.
"And what would stop him?" Bella asked, a brow raised.
"The imprint," Emily stated, "It would hurt Paul physically to stay away from you."
"Which means he's staying away on his own," Bella whispered, the hurt seeping into her voice.
"He just needs time to think," Emily said. Of all the people on the reservation, she got Paul Lahote best.
They had known each other for years, and she knew that all that blustering anger was a front. It hid the caring and creative man he truly was.
"Well he's had enough time," Bella snapped. "How does he think I feel? I'm hurting too! I need to see him. It hurts."
Emily stopped what she was doing and embraced the girl as she sobbed into her shoulder, rubbing her back periodically, she let her cry.
"I need him Em," Bella sniffled. "If Jacob is my sun, then Paul is my oxygen. I can't live without it."
"Then you should tell him," Emily said.
"I don't know where he is," Bella cried. "I don't even know where he lives."
Emily smiled, "I can help with that."
The house was like its owner, stoic and reeked of loneliness.
He wasn't home, she knew that almost immediately. She couldn't feel him.
She pushed the door open tentatively, musing that it was unlocked.
Then she decided that he didn't need to lock it. He was a bad ass wolf, no one would dare to invade his home, well no one but her.
The house was surprisingly clean, the sparse furniture shone as if they were polished everyday.
She found herself touching everything her hands could reach, needing to feel some bond with him. And it comforted her, being there, in a place where he considered safe. Considered home.
She moved to the back of the house, into his bedroom. The cotton sheets were clean and tucked neatly around the bed and she smiled. He was just as compulsively tidy as she was. He was perfect.
Her eyes caught on one of his T-shirts sitting on a chair next to his bed and before she could stop herself, she had it in her arms, her face buried in it. Inhaling his scent. Breathing in his very essence that had been caught on the fibres of the shirt.
Her Paul.
Bella gave a wistful sigh and put the shirt back down, she needed to talk to him, but she had no idea what to say. Then she thought of something, she would write it down.
She rummaged around in his room until she found what she was looking for and then she sat in the middle of his bed and started writing.
"My Paul,
I have no idea what to tell you, and I don't understand this whole imprinting thing, but I do know that being without you hurts. It hurts me so bad. Does it hurt you? How can you stand being apart from me? I feel your soul calling to mine, I feel your eyes on me ALL the time. Do you have any idea how self-conscious that makes me? How I wonder what you see in me? I'm so...ordinary. I can't function with you too close to me, sometimes it takes great effort to even breathe.
I want you. And maybe you want me too? I'm never sure of your feelings. You said I was yours. And I am. No one else even registers for me. Is it the same for you? I'm so confused.
You tell me to stay away from you, but how do I do that? Tell me how. And tell me how to stop it from hurting so fucking much. I dream about you, almost every night. I dream of your wolf. He's gorgeous. I dream of us together, with a baby, not now of course. We're still too young, but sometime in the future.
But maybe we should try it your way. Maybe it would be better if I stayed away. I would survive. Right? We could call this anything but love. And I'd stay away, I would. It would be hard, but I would still say I love you, when you can't hear me. Because I do love you. Very much.
My heart is breaking to even write this, but maybe its for the best. Do you think we could keep it up, the pretense?
I've been waiting, waiting since that day in the forest, for you to just come and take me. Take me where? I have no idea. Didn't care as long as it was with you. I wanted you to save what we have. Wolfy magic or not. It's ours. If that isn't love...how long do we have to wait before we can call it that? When you're ready, you know where to find me. Until then, I'll do what you asked. I'll keep my distance.
Your Bella.
She re-read the letter before placing it in the middle of his pillow. Her vision blurred with unshed tears as she walked out the house. She made her way back to Emily and Sam's, ate stoically with the others, listening half heartedly as the guys joked around. She caught Emily giving her sympathetic glances every now and again, and Jake had a permanent frown marring his features for the majority of the meal.
When she said her good-byes, she knew they would be her last for a while. She would honor her words in the letter, she would stay away.
When you love something let it go, if it comes back then its yours for sure.
She hoped that saying was true.
A/N: *ducks* Please don't kill me. Yes I left it there, because they took over. I had no say in the matter whatsoever. The name of the story is Distance. I couldn't have them getting together. Maybe it ended that way because I might want to explore them a bit more, who knows? All I know is that it felt right ending it there. Love it or not, let me know. `~ Riney