Author's note: I don't know where this story came from. Just something rolling around in my head, and I needed to write it, just to get it out of my system. It is quite different from my usual stuff. Of course, the characters are slightly OOC. I don't think there is a single thing in the anime that could even slightly indicate Itachi and Deidara are into each other (and I'm pretty sure Deidara actually has a vendetta against Itachi), but I couldn't help myself.

Maybe I wrote this just because I think both are hot ... for anime drawings. That's probably it. Itachi in particular is completely wonderful, so he'll probably show up elsewhere in another fanfic at some point. But he's getting hooked up with Dei first.

There eventually will be smut, slight BDSM (I'll warn if a chapter gets particularly spicy), man-on-man action, and other such stuff. As I've oft heard/read, if you are offended for some reason by these things, don't bother to read or comment, or at least know you were warned :) :)

Also, I've seen Deidara's habit of ending his sentences is non-verbal sounds (?) written as un, hm, yeah, etc. I decided to go with "hm." That made the most sense to me.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

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Itachi wasn't sure what he thought of that blonde terrorist bomber. Something about him just didn't sit right with the tall, ebony-haired Uchiha. Maybe it was the artist's flashy ways, or the fact that he was almost three years less in age, or his constant babbling, or his cockiness. Itachi couldn't quite put his finger on it.

But ever since he, Sasori, and Kisame had travelled to retrieve the missing-nin from Iwagakure and get him to join the Akatsuki, Itachi felt himself constantly feeling uncomfortable around those bright azure blue eyes, always intense and emotional, always observant.

Deidara, on the other hand, had quickly gotten over his initial dislike of the former Leaf ninja (or at least so it seemed). After a few days of adjusting to the ways of the criminal organization, he had found random times to pop up and make small talk with the quiet, raven-haired young man.

Like today, for instance...

"Itachi!"

His coal-black eyes closed in aggravation, but he turned to look at the source of the voice, feeling his heart beat a bit faster when he caught sight of that obnoxious face, decorated in a smirk, with the yellow bangs sweeping in front of playful blue eyes.

"What are you doing, hm?" Deidara came closer. His Akatsuki robe was unbuttoned all the way in front, and Itachi caught sight of a thin strip of pale skin above his pants that wasn't quite covered by his short, black shirt.

"I was just going out to train." Itachi tried to keep the sentence curt and unemotional, hoping the energetic artist would pick up the hint that he wasn't looking for company.

"Oh, yeah? Care if I join, hm?"

Apparently he wasn't only brash and overly friendly, but also dense. Itachi's mouth didn't move. He simply didn't want Deidara around. Going out on mission after mission provided little to no time for solitude and training, and the introspective, withdrawn Uchiha hated the idea of wasting these precious moments by having the explosive little showoff around.

"Well..." he started, the word dwindling as he didn't know what else to say.

Deidara didn't seem the bit deterred, looking as nonchalant and relaxed as ever.

"Come on, Itachi! Your genjutsu against my art. It'll be good practice, hm! C'mon! You know it'll be a good time." He looked so energetic and enthusiastic and Itachi was having a hard time saying no, actually.

Tired of waiting on the raven, the blonde 18-year-old crossed his arms across his chest impatiently and just kept talking.

"Uchiha, I've been wanting a rematch with you for months now. You can't deny me that chance, hm. Or are you just afraid to lose to me? Is that it?"

Wow, the kid was just a glutton for punishment, and an irritating one at that ... although there was something fetching about the way his attractive face was set in defiance while still remaining undaunted.

Itachi's brows drew together at the thought that had just wafted through his mind. Where did that come from? He did not like the blonde teenager at all. That was just a fact. The little nuisance drove him crazy! But he wouldn't let the brassy little showoff ruffle his feathers or have the chance to tease him.

"Fine," Itachi said with an unemotional sigh, continuing on with his way down to a secluded, barren clearing amongst the jagged rocks that surrounded the Akatsuki's hideout, where both his and Deidara's two-man cells were on hiatus for a day or two, awaiting further orders.

Deidara simply grinned and quickly caught up with the black-haired young man, excitement bubbling beneath his skin, his hands itching to reach for some clay, his body filled with the energy and willpower to take down Itachi.

Itachi decided to only perform at about 30 percent capacity of his true capability, knowing anything else could get one of them seriously injured. He assumed Deidara would do the same. Although, he couldn't express how much he'd love to just go all out. Something about the blonde's constant cheeriness and sassy personality made Itachi just want to take him down a notch.

Once in position, the two talented shinobi wasted no time in engaging in their "friendly" rumble. Already, the training ground was spotted with the smoky remains of small explosions and Itachi's sharingan was activated.

Back and forth the two fought, their movements and attacks almost perfectly equivalent in skill and speed. Black and blonde flashes shown out as the two S-ranked criminals engaged at their pre-determined max.

Although Deidara was a good few inches shorter than Itachi, both were slender with a disguised strength that wouldn't be obvious to the naked eye, and the height difference barely mattered as Itachi relied little on physical attacks and Deidara was best when fighting long-distance.

Crash for crash, hit for hit, ocular jutsu for explosive jutstu, the two young men, the raven and the artist, continued driving toward the pinnacle of the fight, or an inevitable intersection when their skills would go directly head to head to be tested in comparison.

It was taking some time as both had achieved mental and physical elitism as ninjas long ago, and the sun had almost disappeared behind a ragged black strip of distant mountains by the time they were getting dangerously close to a harmful collision.

However, Itachi simply was more skilled and powerful than the blonde teenager, and he had Deidara caught into his final genjutsu, the finale, before the feisty bomber could do the same to him.

And that was that.

Itachi, only slightly exhausted, smirked in satisfaction. Thinking back to their first fight, which was an actual clash and had led to Deidara having to join the Akatsuki, he could only imagine how poorly the sensitive artist likely would handle his current defeat.

This fight ended much the way that original one did. Knowing he couldn't go any further without injuring the blonde, Itachi waited a few seconds to drive home the "win" and then simply released the genjutsu and let Deidara fall to the dusty ground.

One arm resting on the seam of his black coat and the other dangling down leisurely, Itachi coolly waited for the little bombshell to rush at him in a fit of rage.

After a few seconds, though, he noticed Deidara's slight figure was slow in standing back up and his right hand was tangled into his blonde locks and holding his head.

For a split second, Itachi felt a small prick of alarm, and in yet another nontraditional move, he hurried over to make sure the bomber was okay.

When he got over to Deidara, he was taken aback. Itachi had expected a temper tantrum or quiet sulking, but got neither. Deidara, having stood to his feet, simply laughed and brushed himself off.

Was there a term for when someone was predictably unpredictable? That was Deidara in a nutshell, one hundred percent erratic. Even to Itachi, a certified genius who was surprised by very little, the slender artist was just downright confusing ... maybe that's why he didn't like him.

"That was a good trick, Itachi," Deidara admitted with a grin, not even trying to mask that his competitive jealousy made the defeat bitter, nor the fact he was more than a little impressed by Itachi. "Didn't see it coming, hm. I must admit, there's something particularly beautiful about your power. ... But it's not impermeable, believe me, hm."

The blonde's eyes were bright with excitement and staring in admiration at the raven. For Itachi, this reaction and the cocky bastard's words were even more confusing and annoying ... especially because, to be honest, they actually were kind of cute, and Itachi didn't ... DIDN'T ... want to have a soft spot for any Akatsuki member. Least of all the explosive artist.

"Thanks." That was all he felt appropriate saying. He was starting to feel uncomfortable again. He just had to get alone now. He thought about simply walking away but the blonde was shifting on his feet and looking at the Uchiha expectantly.

"I have something to do," Itachi forced out. "I need to get going."

The blonde didn't try to hide his disappointment. "Oh. Okay. Well, thanks for the practice, Itachi. And I will get you back, hm. You need to be prepared... I have some plans and a few ideas up my sleeve, and when I'm finished with my brilliant creative process, you will need to beware, hm."

Deidara finished his proclamation with a playful wink. Itachi merely shook his head, trying to repress the small smile playing on his lips.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" He wondered, quickly turning away, unwilling whatsoever to lead the blonde artist into believing they were remotely close to any definition of "friends." However, after taking a few steps, he couldn't stop the urge to turn back around for a second and wave goodbye to Deidara.

To his surprise, the teenager was intently watching him leave and his face broke into a smile when the Uchiha lifted his hand. Deidara returned the gesture before turning back to a practice dummy situated on the other side of the now broken and bruised field. His body became taut and engaged as he sent a clay bird zipping out to meet it.

Within a few seconds, a large explosion had painted the sky with bright orange flames and permeated the training ground with plumes of grey smoke.

Itachi rolled his eyes, but he had to admit that maybe, just maybe, the pesky blonde teenager was not absolutely, completely annoying ... at least not in small doses.