So here's a little Baby Avengers AU I made up in the shower. It's just a short little dialogue, but I thought it was fun, so I hope you like it! (Oh, PS, I had kind of an old southern lady vibe gonna in my head when I wrote the women's part, so you might want to keep that in mind as you read)

DISCLAIMER: I wish I owned the Avengers franchise, but sadly I don't. Marvel does. So these aren't my characters. Enjoy!

"Avengers Adoption Agency, how may I help you?"

"Hi. My name is Nick Fury. I recently adopted a child from your agency. His name was Phil Coulson . . .?"

"Oh, yes! Phil! What a lovely boy! So sweet and kind. He was such a lovely little man. Is he working out okay? So polite, that one."

"Yeah, he's doing just fine. He's my first kid, and I don't have a wife around the house, so he's a little lonely right now."

"Oh, yes. That happens often. He'll just need some time to adjust, that's all."

"Well, actually, I was calling to see if I could adopt another kid. To give him a friend, you know?"

"Oh, well, um. That sounds great! But, um, is your work stable enough to, uh, support multiple children?"

"My work is doing fine, ma'am. Thanks for asking."

"I was only –"

"I am gainfully employed in a high-ranking government agency now if you wouldn't mind, Phil mentioned a few names to me the other day and I'd like to ask you a couple questions about these kids."

"Well, okay, then, Mr. Fury. Fire away!"

"Do you know a Steve Rogers?"

"Steve! Oh, yes! Everyone knows Steve! He's just about the kindest little thing I've ever met. So sweet and polite. He has more chivalry as a little boy than I see in most men these days!"

"Yeah, Phil mentioned him quite fondly."

"If I remember correctly, your Phil quite admired Steve. They were close, those two. Phil always followed Steve around. Even tried to dress like him once! You should have seen it, it was the cutest thing!"

"I'm sure it was, ma'am."

"Oh and Steve loved little Phil. Always kept him close to try to protect him. Poor boy was always getting picked on for being scrawny, but Steve made sure not to let the bullies get him down."

"How old is he now?"

"Why, he turned thirteen just last month. We gave him the cutest little birthday party! Oh, he was so happy, you could just tell!"

"Phil also mentioned a boy named Tony . . .?"

"Tony Stark?"

"Yeah, that sounds right."

"Yes, Phil and Tony got along . . . nicely."

"From what he tells me, they didn't speak much."

"No, not at all! Tony is quite moody and he lashed out at Phil a few times. Not on purpose, I don't think. It was the wrong place, wrong time, kind of thing."

"How old is he?"

"Tony? He's, um, I think – let me check my records – let's see . . . oh, he turns sixteen in a few days. Yes, moody is a great word for him. He likes Steve well enough and he and Bruce get along famously, but he is . . . he can be . . . rather, troubled, at times."

"You mentioned a Bruce . . .?"

"Oh, yes. Bruce Banner. I don't think you want to hear about him."

"Excuse me?"

"He's one of our worst cases. Can't find a decent home, that boy."

"And just what are you implying, ma'am?"

"Oh, I'm not implying anything! All I'm saying is that the last three homes to adopt him have dropped him like a hot potato after a few months."

"And why do you think that is?"

"Bruce doesn't play well with others. He's kind of sullen – very similar to Tony in that regard – and he gets incredibly angry over the simplest things. But other than that he's very quiet. It's really incredible to watch him get angry. It's almost like he, he . . . he transforms into this totally different person. It's incredible, just incredible."

"Phil seemed to like him."

"Yes, Phil did like him. So did Steve. But nobody but Tony really got close to Bruce: most kids were just too scared of him."

"Why do you think he and Tony get along so well?"

"Well, they're both pretty sulky . . . oh and they are both incredibly gifted students. Smartest kids in the bunch, those two. You should hear them talk sometimes. Tony's a few years older than Bruce, so he's a couple years ahead in school, but, boy, those two can talk each other's ears off about gamma rays and mathematical equations and clean energy sources . . . It's really amazing."

"How old is Bruce?"

"He's nine. Almost ten. But wicked smart for his age. Was there anyone else Phil mentioned?"

"Ummm . . . oh yeah, do you have a Natasha and Clint by any chance?"

"Oh, you mean the twins! Yes, those two are a-dor-a-ble! Never see one without the other!"

"And they are . . .?"

"They just turned three. They can't speak English real well, but do love talking in – what is it? – it's like they're own language. It almost sounds like Russian, but I know it can't be because neither of them are from Russia . . . Well, I think they're not from Russia."

". . . You don't know?"

"Well, see . . . they're not actually twins. We just call them that because they're so inseparable. We actually have no idea where they came from. They just kind of appeared on the doorstop one day and we took them in . . . I guess they could be from Russia and we'd never know . . . But anyway, those two are abba-dabba-dorable. And they're definitely a joint package, if you know what I mean."

". . . Okay."

"Do you have any more questions, Mr. Fury?"

"Just a few more: do you still have Thor Loki with you?"

"Thor Loki? That name doesn't sound familiar."

"It doesn't?"

"Thor Loki, Thor Loki . . . Oh! You must mean Thor and Loki. Yes, we have both Thor and Loki with us. They're brothers."

"Oh, sorry. Phil only mentioned their names together so I just kind of figured it was one person."

"Yes, Thor and Loki are brothers, but they are two incredibly different people. Thor is a vivacious little lad and his brother . . . well, he's quiet."

"Quiet?"

"He kind of hates his brother."

". . . Okayy."

"I really don't know why. It was nothing Thor did – at least, nothing he did while he's been with us. Thor's been on his best behavior since he arrived. He's a little rowdy and he snores pretty loudly, but he's actually a very good kid; he has a lot of heart."

"What about his brother?"

"Loki's a little rascal. They're moments when he's just as bright and happy as his brother, but those moments are few and far between."

"He sounds interesting."

"If I didn't know better, I'd say he and Thor aren't related at all, that's how different they are!"

"How old are those two?"

"Thor's nine and his brother is seven."

"Sounds like you've got the handful, ma'am."

"Oh, yes! They keep me quite busy, I assure you! So, which ones would you be interest in adopting."

"All of them."

". . . Come again?"

"I would like to adopt them all."

"All of them?"

"All of them."

". . ."

". . ."

". . ."

"You still there, ma'am?"

"I'll have the paperwork ready within the hour."