Chapter 1 – Dance like no ones watching

Woods surrounding Camp Chipewa - Lauren's POV

It's strange, considering I don't know where this track leads, but the harder and further I ride, the more my legs burn and my heart and lungs pump, the more I finally start to feel like myself again for the first time in days. Really since I got on the plane in Sydney and embarked on this wacky journey of self discovery – god what was I thinking! Now stopping for a quick sip of water to quench my thirst and the residual burn in my limbs, I finally had a chance to really take everything in. The rough trail under my feet, the warm afternoon air, the smell of pine and earth from the surrounding woods. It really is beautiful here. When I'm riding, generally the scenery is a blur and I'm in my head, thinking, sorting, analysing my day and thinking about the coming ones, preparing mentally. It's like my own personal brand of meditation. Shaking my head and smiling to myself, I realise I don't even know where to start to prepare myself for the coming days and months!

It was about a year ago I applied to be a Camp Counsellor in the USA. I remember feeling so happy and excited a few months later when I found out I'd been accepted to work here at Camp Chipewa. I then went mad researching the camp and surrounds, discovering they had a great Outdoor Recreation Program which matched my passions and experience in mountain biking, hiking and climbing perfectly. Camp Chipewa was also situated not too far from Boston and ultimately New York, two places I had been fantasising about visiting. Nestled in a small town in Massachusetts and set lakeside this place just felt like it fit me. I sighed happily, I was so lucky to be alive, here in the middle of this green ass forest on a very nice, brand new mountain bike with three months of adventure laying ahead. A couple of sneaky but somewhat happy tears rolled down my cheeks taking me by surprise, seemingly out of place in this particular moment. I Lauren Kate Lewis was here... It was the first step in keeping my promise to Nicole. I had jumped way out of my comfort zone and decided to have the grand adventure, if I was being truthful with myself, I had always dreamed of having but was always too closed off and focussed on studying and then starting my fledgling career and of course every other life shattering-soul altering event of the past couple of years to have. I was determined to be all in - all in this moment - all in this place and ultimately all in this experience.

I looked at my watch and quickly noticed it was way later than I thought – of course it was. I always lost track of time when I'm in the zone on my bike. I needed to get back so I could pack the bike away and grab a nice, hot shower before heading out tonight. I was nervous as hell. I find it a challenge to make new friends easily these days. I know why that is and I know it's totally my issue, but opening up to people and ultimately trusting them is hard for me. I've been burned and the scars are deep. Usually people don't have the time to crack my shell and that's generally alright with me. Back home, I have a small group of really close friends. I prefer that, having genuine, long term friendship that ebb and flow easily because of years and years of interwoven intimacy with each others lives and experiences. Growing up together, puberty, daring each other to shave our legs or pluck our eyebrows. Sneaking alcohol into our rooms and getting drunk, first loves, loss of grandparents, divorce of parents, completing high school, going to our first nightclub, going to University, getting jobs, essentially moving on to building our lives as young adults. Friendships like those were beyond friendships, they were my family, the family I chose and wasn't given and nothing could compare to that.

Tonight my Co Counsellor, Ciara, another of Camp Chipewa's internationals but from London, was taking me out to the Dal which, according to Ciara is the the local bar and after hours hangout during camp season. Thank god because I was gonna need some major lubrication to loosen up enough to survive tonight. I was determined to keep my promise to Nicole and to myself and try to open myself up to people more and to this camp experience, I've learned all too painfully lately that life is just too short. Ciara was a Counsellor here last year and I was thankful for her insider knowledge of all things Chipewa. She knew alot of the Counsellors already and so had introduced me and shown me around. There was another week before campers arrived, so we were slowly getting to know each other and helping to clean up and set up all the different camp activity areas in preparation for the mass arrival. Ciara had been talking incessantly about her two old bunk mates from camp last year, Bo and Kenzi who would both be arriving this afternoon before all heading out to the Dal tonight.

I took another quick sip of water and started to peddle back the way I came through the woods. The shower in my bunk was now screaming my name and I wanted to have time to do my hair and makeup before heading out. Ciara was absolutely beautiful, with classical almost whimsical features and I felt completely out of my depth simply standing next to her without a little bit of glamor on my part. I made the ride back fast, peddling like a demon to try and shake the last remnants of jetlag from my body and before I knew it I was staring at my new home, Bunk 10. This morning at breakfast Ciara had been explaining animatedly in her perfect English accent that we were lucky to have been assigned this bunk. It was set lakefront just behind bottom field which was used for the Lacrosse lessons which just so happened to also be a very convenient five minute walk from the eco shed and climbing wall, where I would be spending a lot of quality time in the coming weeks and months.

Camp Chipewa - Bunk 10

I groaned a little with the effort of walking up the stairs and onto the front veranda, opening the door and quickly noticing no one else was home. I passed the rows of soon to be filled bunks to my left and right and entered the small bathroom/toilet and closet area at the back. I was thankful to be alone for a little while, which meant Ciara must have gone to meet Bo and Kenzi up at the lodge. I decided to make good use of the privacy and plugged my Ipod into the doc Ciara had brought from home, bringing the bunk to life with my 'styling' playlist. The hot water from the shower felt comforting, cascading my body in warmth and steaming up the small space quickly. I went to work scrubbing and washing, relishing the combination of the heat and the sweet smell of my favourite shea butter and caramel body wash from home. Water was always my refuge when I needed to calm down. I reluctantly stepped out and dried off, moisturing my face and body and taking the time to enjoy the feel of the cool cream smoothing my overheated skin. Looking in my pack, I decided on a deep purple, lacy bra and undies set, thinking once camp starts in full swing it will be all boy shorts and sports bras. The combination of my ride and shower had left me a little wired and I felt bold and free, feelings that had alluded me for such a long time. Deciding for once to just go with it and live in the moment, I pumped up the music when I heard 'Salt n Pepa's' Push It bombing its way out of the speakers into the otherwise quiet space – an oldie but a goodie I thought with a smile. I was totally lost in the beat of the music, singing into my hair brush after running it through my still damp locks "ooh baby, baby…baby, baby, get up on this" – "Ahh push it, push it good, ahh push it, push it real good". My steamy bathroom 'Salt n Pepa' concert called out for some good old fashioned pelivic thrusting so I added it to the mix while continuing my hairbrush karaoke, so lost in my own personal universe, I didn't hear the cabin door open or the lone figure enter.

It wasn't until I turned around to walk back into the main bunk area to pick an outfit that I noticed the women standing against one of the bunks to my right, smirking and clearly enjoying the show. Our eyes met and I froze. With just one look at her, my universe ceased and the only thing that existed was her. I couldn't turn away and It felt like my body and my brain had magically liquefied. All I could do was stare into her deep brown eyes and try not to pass out from the sheer depth and variance of the feelings springing to life and overwhelming every cell of my body. Suddenly her smirk turned into a wide smile that seemed to bring her entire face dancing to life. I still couldn't speak and was having trouble remembering to even breath. I was absolutely mortified at my lack of, well everything, when suddenly my hand betrayed me and I dropped my hairbrush, the movement effectively breaking our mutual trance. Finally with function returning to me, I moved further through the cabin and turned the Ipod down, drowning out 'Salt n Pepa' and realising for the first time just how exposed I was both emotionally and physically. The smile never left her face as she slowly approached me and extended her hand. I took it in my own and shook involuntarily as our skin mingled in the simple exchange of a hand shake. "Hello Lauren, I'm Bo, it's nice to meet you". Her voice registered somewhere in my still hazy mind but I still didn't trust myself to speak. She gave me another wide smile, slowly scanning me over appreciatively from the ground up and finally locking onto my eyes again "actually I would like to officially change my last statement to it's REALLY, REALLY nice to meet you".

END CHAPTER ONE