Title: Until I wrap myself inside your arms (I cannot rest)
Series: If I Was a Better Man
Category: Arrow
Genre: Romance/Drama/Humor
Ship: Felicity/Oliver
Chapter Rating: PG-13/Teen
Overall Rating: NC-17/Explicit
Notes: This is a sequel to a story based on an AU idea where Felicity and Oliver met before he was stranded on the island; it's pretty important that you read that too or you'll be confused.
Word Count: 2,583
Summary: Oliver Queen has returned from an island of purgatory to avenge a city in need of justice. Finding balance in his life is made all the more difficult with a book of names to strike off and a remarkable woman to re-convince he's worth her time. Fighting crime as the Hood keeps him busy, but getting Felicity to fall in love with him? Now that'll take a whole new level of dedication.

Until I wrap myself inside your arms (I cannot rest)

…

Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers
Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters
A man who's pure of heart and says his prayers by night
May still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright

…

Prologue.

"Oliver Queen is alive."

Felicity nearly choked on her chow mein as she suddenly put all of her focus on the television, grabbing up the remote and turning the volume up until it was nearly deafening. She stared wide-eyed at the news anchor from Channel 7 news as he informed her of the most unlikely thing she'd heard in a while. And she'd heard a lot of unlikely things. Like last month when Tommy told her he was officially giving up drinking. That was so unlikely it never came to fruition; in fact, to battle his hangover from the night before, he stole a bottle of her favorite red wine and camped on her couch to bemoan how much the aftereffects of too much drinking royally sucked. But this? Oliver Queen, alive, after five years of being lost to the sea, presumed drowned…? It was a whole new level of unlikely.

"The Starling City resident was found by fishermen in the North China Sea five days ago, five years after he was missing and presumed dead following the accident at sea which claimed the Queen's Gambit… Queen was a regular tabloid presence and a fixture of the Starling City club scene."

She snorted. That was an understatement. She was fairly sure that Oliver and Tommy managed to keep the doors to many a club open purely on their celebrity and the long tabs they racked up.

"Shortly before his disappearance he was acquitted of assault charges stemming from a highly publicized drunken altercation with paparazzi."

She rolled her eyes. Not only because Oliver's habit of getting into trouble was widely-known and had, once upon a time, been something she found ridiculous and childish, but because she thought pointing it out in the same broadcast in which the world learned Oliver was alive was a bit of a cheap shot. Why point out the flaws of his life when he'd only just returned to it?

"Queen is the son of Starling City billionaire Robert Queen, who was also on board but now officially confirmed as deceased."

The word echoed in her ears. Deceased. Exactly what she'd thought Oliver was until five minutes ago.

Anything else the newscaster had to say was suddenly drowned out by the dull buzzing in her ears.

He was alive.

Oliver was alive.

Stunned, she sat on her couch, her mouth ajar, and tried to absorb the news. It felt like an out-of-body experience, like it couldn't possibly be real. Slowly, she reached for the remote and turned off the television. It wasn't that she didn't like the news, or that she didn't want to hear them say it over and over again. He's alive he's alive he's alive. But after five years, she had accepted that Oliver was gone. The man who infiltrated her office every lunch hour, five days a week, for nine long but admittedly amazing months, forcing her to drag her eyes off her work and eat while he tried to charm her into a date was no longer lost completely. She wasn't even sure how to process that.

And Tommy! God, Tommy must be freaking out! He was a train wreck when Oliver went missing and it'd taken him years before he could accept that Oliver wouldn't return. Only he did. Her lips twitched with a faint smile. Why was she even surprised? This was Oliver Queen. Hadn't Tommy told her he was the most obstinate person to ever live? Of course he wouldn't let something like being stranded at sea stop him…

She leapt from her couch and started to pace, biting the edge of her thumbnail as she considered her options.

Her first instinct was to call Tommy, or even just show up at his place. Did he know already? No, of course not. If he did, her phone would be ringing off the hook. Tommy had never been the proud owner of any ounce of patience. In fact, he was one of the most impatient people she knew. And he would've been knocking down her door, demanding to know if she knew that Oliver was back before he promptly started planning the 'Welcome Back to Civilization' party. Which meant that, given the hour… She squinted at the clock, briefly considering the fact that she needed to stop by her optometrist's office, and realized that Tommy was probably out clubbing. Yes, it was Wednesday, but, unlike her, he didn't have a job he needed to report to in the morning. Part of her wanted to begrudge him that fact, but most of her just did a full emotional eye roll at him. He was her best friend; she'd long accepted any faults or defects and might even consider them part of his charm. With that in mind, she remembered the whole point of thinking of Tommy.

Oliver.

He too would probably have been club crawling at this hour, but she imagined he was either cooped up in the hospital or resting at home. There was no way five years lost at sea hadn't taken a physical, and mental, toll. She was sure if she turned on TMZ it would give her his exact whereabouts, but she didn't bother with it. It was Tommy she wanted to find. Tommy who would be ecstatic that his best friend had been returned to him, hopefully as close to the man who left as one could be when they'd been lost for five years. But it was late and she couldn't begin to pin down which club Tommy had gone to. Somehow texting him didn't seem like the right thing to do. If she asked him to come over, he might just put it off for the next day. And if she told him it was important but she was vague about the why, he would worry. No, she would just have to wait for him to come to her…

With an inward sigh, she checked the clock again and paused. Her hands found her hips and for a moment, she seriously considered calling in sick to work and taking a day to just process. But she managed the whole IT floor, which meant that they would be lost without her, veritable chickens with their heads cut off. And that wasn't her being arrogant; she'd once taken two days sick leave and she came back to find the floor, and thus just about every other level of the building, having a serious tech meltdown. Her director promptly told her that she was never allowed to get sick again. She wasn't sure exactly what happened, but it took her three days to clean up. So no, a sick day was out, she would only be making herself a bigger problem to deal with in the long run.

Her second option was baking. Sometimes, she just liked to make up a few trays of cookies, her great-grandmother's recipes were always the way to go, but her flour jar was empty, and so was her chocolate chips stash. Her last option was a definite no-go. Not unless she felt like facing her current point of anxiety head on. When she was really stressed, she liked to visit the stables at Queen Manor. It was soothing just brushing the horses, talking to them, sneaking them an apple or two. It reminded her of home, of her dad, and it made everything else fade away into the background. But going to the manor meant coming face to face with the fact that the prodigal son had returned. He might not be there yet, but she could imagine the frenzy of his arrival. Raisa would be beside herself, fluttering around the house, trying to make it presentable, to distract herself from how excited she was to have him home. Thea would be bouncing all over the place, so eager to get her brother back, talking non-stop about how amazing he was before he'd disappeared. It would be chaos of the best kind, but not something she could handle right now.

Was she happy that Oliver was home? Yes. Absolutely. No question about it. She was just… conflicted. Because before, when he was gone, it was so easy to sweep things under the rug, to ignore the hurt and the pain and the confusion over what had happened between them. But now he was back and she wasn't sure she was allowed to be upset with him, to confront him. It was so long ago. It was history now. It was nothing in the grand scheme. So he made a promise he couldn't keep, that he sabotaged himself from keeping, and she let herself get swept away. It was okay. She obviously wasn't the first woman to get caught up in the appeal of Oliver Queen. Not by a long shot, really.

Taking a deep breath, she nodded, stretching her arms out around her as if she was limbering up for a run. Except she didn't do that. Running. Not even light jogging. Frankly, she was more of a Wii Fit kind of person. The only exercise she got regularly was when she put her mind into overdrive and focused on a tech problem. No, what she was doing now was trying to shake off the excess energy and, with it, all of her doubts.

Oliver was back.

He would return to his family, his friends, and his life. Where she fit into that, she wasn't entirely sure. She was Thea's leaning post, Tommy's replacement best friend, and she managed the IT floor of Queen Consolidated. Once upon a time, she considered herself a friend, and potential something, to Oliver. She wasn't sure if she still was. In fact, she was pretty sure that during the five years he was gone, she was just a distant memory to him, a fuzzy face among many. He had more important people to spend his time with, to catch up with, and she would be okay with that. She wouldn't be completely absent from his life because there were too many people that linked them. But she wouldn't walk into his world expecting anything.

Felicity smiled to herself, proud of her newly found reserve of strength and logic. She could do this. The past was the past and that was where it would stay.

"Okay, time to get some sleep, Smoak. You have a big day ahead of you tomorrow," she told herself, moving around her apartment as she shut off lights, turned on her security system, and double checked her locks. The only person who had a key was Tommy, and she sincerely hoped that if he happened to come by and crash at her place that he actually remembered to shut the door in his drunken haze this time. That and that he didn't trip the alarm. She could only hope.

After cleaning up her dinner mess, putting her late night take-out in the fridge, she stopped by the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth, tying her hair up in a knot atop her head. Finally, she made her way back to her bedroom and climbed under the comforter, giving a little shiver at how cold her sheets were before she turned onto her side and reached over to turn off the bedside lamp. Laying her head on the pillow, she closed her eyes and willed her brain to shut off.

She wouldn't think of him. She wouldn't get tangled up in memories or worries or hopes. She would detach. That was the best, most pain-free, route.

And Felicity was nothing if not efficient.

…

Across town, standing in Starling City General, Oliver Queen stared out over the cityscape, his brow knotted, his mouth set in a hard line.

He was home.

A pang of appreciation, of relief, hit him hard in the chest.

More than once he'd been convinced he would never get there, never see the familiar streets of his hometown again. But there he was. Much of it looked the same, though there were a number of new buildings that had sprouted up, and he imagined that, upon closer inspection, a lot more than just a few new skyscrapers had changed the city he knew. But it was still his; his home. And that was enough.

His mother stood just outside the hospital room he was staying in, talking to the doctor about the medical state he was in. He could only imagine the laundry list of injuries she was learning about, though the stories behind each of them would never be revealed. A lot wouldn't be revealed. Not to his mother or anyone. The boy who had left Starling City was not the same man who returned. He might look the same in many respects, but on the inside he was anything but.

Five years ago, he'd set sail with his father, a dream of a better future getting him on the yacht though it wasn't what propelled him forward the morning they left. He'd been spoiled, selfish, and, in many regards, stupid. Before he'd even left the harbor, the promises he'd made had already dwindled to nothing, and he'd picked up his old image as quickly as it had been shed. He ground his teeth as he remembered his mistakes, his excuses. But the time for regretting who he was had passed. He was going to make up for the things he'd done, the people he'd wronged, the bad choices he'd made.

He'd left Starling City promising that he was growing, he was going to be somebody to be proud of, he was going to return a worthy man. And, though he hadn't truly intended to, that was exactly what had happened. He was scarred, jaded, and empty of any innocence he'd once had in him, but his eyes were opened and he had a clear vision of what he wanted and how he would get it. At least, for most things.

He would clean up the city and right his father's wrongs. He would be a better son to his mother and a better brother to his sister. The selfish person he'd once been would no longer affect his family or those around him. He had a mission now and its sole focus was improving the city for the people who lived in it.

There was only one thing, one person, that he had no idea how to make amends to. He had no real plan, no certainty that anything would work, and, though he hoped it was true, he still couldn't be sure that he was worthy yet. But he wanted to be, he would try to be.

Oliver turned his hand over and peered down at it. A silver ring looped around his forefinger, a chain dulled with time and the trials of the island hung from it, and there, at the end, resting in his palm, was a small rectangular keychain, the label and writing of which had long worn off. A faint smile pulled at the corner of his lips and he squeezed his fingers closed, until the edges bit into his palm. He let out a sigh, taking comfort in solid form under his grip. He raised his eyes once more and cast them out over the city.

He wondered where she was, and if she was thinking about him. Because he'd spent the last five years thinking of Felicity Smoak and there was a lot he had to say.

[To be continued: Part One.]

Author's Note: So that was fun. I'm hoping you guys are as pumped for this as I am, because I'm loving how this is playing out in my head. Just so we're all clear, there is an in-between story that's going to define a lot of the main relationships, which I'll be posting along side this. It focuses a lot on Felicity and Tommy as best friends, but it also shows how she gets close to Thea and the family during the time that Oliver is on the island. It's not necessary to read it, but it will help to flesh out some of those relationships.

Anyway, I hope you liked this. The following chapters will be longer than this as it just kind of shows you the frame of mind each character is in as we start the story. Please leave a review, it's always really helpful to get feedback and it's incredibly encouraging for me to keep writing. Thank you ahead of time to those who do and I hope you're all looking forward to the next part!

- Lee | Fina