A/N: Finally I get an idea for one of my all time favorite fandoms! And it's centered around Ed and not Mustang! So I think I'll turn this into a drabble series (although this first chapter is too long to be considered a drabble anymore…) I think it's a cute idea to show Ed's more childish quirks. If you have a suggestion or a request feel free to send them! All requests are likely to be written eventually. Just one warning, I do not like yaoi in FMA, so I will not be writing any of that. You will likely see Royai, EdWin, and pairings like that although there won't really be much romance in here.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of its characters. (I don't feel like repeating this in future chapters so this will cover for everything.)

Chapter One: Coffee

Roy is still amazed whenever he sees Ed drink coffee, he can't fathom how anyone could dump that amount of sugar in and not gag.

Roy was behind his desk sipping at his morning coffee when the door banged open, slamming against the wall and widening the already rather large dent there.

"If you keep doing that I'm going to have to start taking money out of your research budget to repair the wall."

"Shut it, Bastard Colonel."

Edward stomped up to the desk, plopping down his latest report carelessly onto its surface, nearly spilling Roy's coffee on it when it skidded into the mug.

"Careful", growled Mustang, "if that had spilled I would have had you rewriting it word for word."

"What's this?" asked Ed, poking at the mug having ignored everything the man had just said.

Roy stared at him, a scowl forming on his face at having been ignored. "What? You've never seen coffee before?" he scoffed.

Ed shook his head, "Nobody I knew ever drank it."

Mustang raised an eyebrow at this, "You want to try it?" he asked nodding in the direction of the mug.

Ed shrugged and grabbed at the mug, raising it up towards his face.

"Careful! It's hot!" warned the Colonel too late, as Ed had already dropped the mug waving his flesh hand rapidly in the air trying to cool it off.

Thankfully the mug hadn't broken as it had only dropped a few inches and as most of the coffee had already been drained by the Colonel himself, none had been spilled.

"Thanks for the warning," Ed bit out sarcastically.

"Next time don't be so hasty. Now grab it by the handle this time", Mustang said patiently although the scowl was back on his face.

Ed picked it up carefully this time and bought it up to his mouth. As soon as he tasted it though he immediately spit it back out.

"Bleargh! This tastes horrible! How do you drink this crap?!"

"It's not crap as you so eloquently put it", said Roy with a wry grin, "it's just more of an…acquired taste."

"Yea well I ain't acquiring it", grumbled Ed, still grimacing at the taste.

"Don't be so quick to say that, very few people like it black the way I do. You can add things to it like sugar to sweeten it and milk to lighten it and make it less bitter."

He didn't miss the look of absolute disgust on Ed's face as he mentioned milk and laughed out loud, completely ignoring the affronted look the kid now wore.

"You can substitute non-dairy creamer for milk if you want but it doesn't cool it off as much as milk so you'll have to be careful."

"Stop talking to me like I'm a child, asshole."

"Oh but you are a child, Fullmetal, still a far cry from someone of my stature," a smirk lit itself on Roy's face as he waited for the inevitable.

"WHO'RE CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE NEEDS A LADDER JUST TO SEE YOUR UGLY FACE!"

"Pipe down will you, I didn't mean it like that", muttered Roy as he pulled his fingers from his ears. He had been well prepared for the verbal assault.

"Yea, sure you didn't", Edward snorted.

"Anyways, come with me to the Mess, I've almost finished this cup and I could certainly use another, it was a long night last night. You can try coffee again, this time made to your tastes."

"Long night?" Ed said, amusement rife within his voice as he followed the Colonel down the halls, "Find another woman again?"

"No, actually, I wish I had. Instead I was stuck behind my desk all night catching up on paperwork."

"Ah, so you mean Hawkeye had you at gunpoint again", said Ed with a knowing smirk which only grew when the sour look on the other man's face proved him right.

-.-

They soon arrived at the Mess, Mustang bee lining it straight for the coffee machine.

"God, you are absolutely addicted to that stuff aren't you? You just finished off a huge mug and you're acting like you haven't had any for a year!"

Mustang smirked down at Edward as he filled the mug, "This stuff is my savior, I don't know how I would survive the day without my caffeine."

"Stop being so dramatic", said Ed rolling his eyes, "I hope the machine breaks one day so I can laugh at your sorry ass."

"Well if it does break I'll know who to blame", Roy said pointedly looking at the diminutive alchemist standing next to him.

"Pfft, as if I'd execute a prank that basic, the ones I pull off are much better," Ed bragged, nose up in the air.

"Oh like a bucket of water falling on me when I open my office door is so sophisticated."

"It was funny as hell though."

"The rest of the office wouldn't stop laughing about it for weeks!" moaned Roy, cringing at the memory of the incident.

"There, there", Edward said as he patted his commanding officer's back, although sarcasm dripped from his words. "Now what the hell is this creamer stuff again and how much do I put in?"

Roy took the mug which Ed had already filled up with coffee. "First of all don't fill it so high, you need room to pour the creamer in", he spilled some of the liquid out as he talked then opened a small refrigerator and pulled out a bright colored container.

"This", he said holding the container up for Ed to see, "is creamer. It can come in different flavors if you wish but we'll just use a plain one for now."

He then poured a good amount in, the coffee turning a pale brown. "You pour until it's as light as you want it, although since this your first time drinking coffee I suggest going very light so you can get used to the taste."

Ed rolled his eyes at that, "You're treating me like a kid again…"

"Not really, I know quite a few adults who like it light as well", he said waving Ed off. "After the creamer you can add some sugar if you'd like to sweeten it up and that's about it", he finished handing the mug back.

Ed grinned manically and immediately turned to the sugar bowl and promptly dumped numerous spoonfuls into his drink, Roy lost count after four.

He mixed it and took a sip. "Mmm, now this good! Much better than the crappy way you make yours!"

Mustang just stared at Ed, his face going a bit green as he watched the kid drain the mug in just a few seconds.

"What's wrong sir?" asked Ed gleefully as he went about preparing a second cup, pouring in even more sugar this time.

Roy just shook his head, "How the hell can you stomach something that sickenly sweet?"

Ed shrugged, "Don't know but it tastes good to me, I can see why you're addicted to this stuff", he said as they started the walk back to Roy's office.

Roy just shook his head again and made a mental note to make sure the boy was well away from the office by the time the inevitable sugar high hit.

Urgh, this ended up a lot longer than I initially planned, I just kinda ran away with the banter and Roy's lecture modes so sorry if it drags a bit. I also feel like the ending is a bit crappy but whatever.

Anyways, I came up with this earlier this morning after my dad woke me up obscenely early only to find out there was no coffee! (Which of course was quickly remedied, lol) So yea, random idea, random story…

Thanks for reading!