Maggie Smith

It was the same argument they always had, except this time Castiel and Bobby were listening.

"She's a demon Sam! And I sure as hell don't want her here!" Dean shouted from his position on the couch. He was currently bandaged, and the bleeding from his most recent wound had just finally stopped.

Sam was facing the couch, fuming, he was angry because he knew Ruby could help them out with this latest hunt, and since Dean was in no position to move from Bobby's couch, he was sure he needed some back up. However, as much as he needed back up, Sam simply wanted Ruby there. He wanted her by him. He'd gone four months with help from Ruby and Ruby alone, and he'd be dammed if he didn't feel half naked with her not there. Of course he was more than happy that Dean was back, alive and kicking. He was happier than he could even begin to describe, but he missed Ruby, and he couldn't help it.

"Dean don't be selfish!" Sam shouted at his couch-ridden older brother. At this point Bobby looked up from his desk, and Castiel sighed from the corner of the room. Both knew the argument inside and out, both knew it would dry up and be left for another day. But this, this comment Sam had blatantly thrown at his brother was something new. New and uncalled for.

Dean looked at Sam, the shock and hurt obvious in his bright green eyes, which Sam chose to ignore with barely a twinge of guilt.

"Selfish? Me? If anything you're the one being selfish! Trying to force the demon bitch down my throat!" Dean snapped. His temper flaring as usual.

Due to the fact that Sam was more than a little over protective of Ruby, and blinded by the rage he'd been feeling lately the words that came out of his next should not have been all that much of a shock.

"You know what Dean? Go to hell." Sam's voice was sharp, piercing. Cutting through Dean like ice. The light drained from Dean's eyes as pain replaced it. Nobody moved. The room was shock still. Bobby was the first to react. His face a burning red frenzy of rage. He couldn't believe what Sam had said to his brother. The brother who had gone to hell to save Sam's sorry ass in the first place.

"Get outta my house." His voice shook in rage. Sam and Dean both turned to Bobby. The pain in Dean's eyes only fueled Bobby's rage fire.

"What?" Sam asked. The anger having left his voice, replaced by cold hard shock.

"You heard me. Get the hell out." Bobby repeated, his voice solidifying.

"Bobby…" Sam trailed off weakly as Bobby slowly pulled the shotgun out from under his desk. Bobby had only ever pulled a shotgun on a Winchester once before, and it was for close to the same reason. John had been screaming curses at Dean for screwing up on a hunt. The 16 year old had been scared. Good and properly scared of his father, and Bobby had had it with John. Pulling a shotgun on the man and threatening him the same way. Get out. You hurt Dean, so get out.

Sam took one look at the shotgun and was out the door. Grabbing his still-packed duffle and taking off. Just like he had all those years before to Stanford.

"Bobby…" Dean's voice was sad, and it hurt Bobby to his very core. He hated hearing the boy in pain, because when he did it reminded him of every other time his name had been called with the same pain, and each time it had been his father or his brother that had been the cause. Bobby glanced at the boy, whose eyes were sorrow filled and tired. Finally he glanced at the stoic angel in the corner, who'd watched and done nothing as Dean had been verbally abused by his only blood family left.

Castiel had watched the whole altercation with a mix of emotions. Curiosity, then confusion, and finally anger. Curiosity at the humanity involved in fighting tooth and nail over a woman. Confusion over why Dean was putting up with so much pain from Sam, and why Sam was giving him so much. And finally when the poisonous words had spilled from Sam's mouth anger had over taken Castiel. He'd been the one to release Dean from hell. He'd seen what the place had done to the man. Seen the horror that Dean had faced for 40 years because of his fierce loyalty to his number one cause in life; protect Sam. And when Sam had shouted the venom filled words, shouted at his brother to go back, Castiel felt anger over take him. All it took was one look at Dean's pain filled green eyes and Castiel was gone. He reappeared outside Bobby's house, standing in front of Sam. Sam stepped back in shock, then solidified. His face void of all emotion.

"What?" As he snapped so did Castiel's resolve. He punched Sam in the face. Sam scrambled back in surprise.

"How dare you say such blasphemy to your brother?!" The anger in his voice rising. Sam's face grew angry.

"I had every right! He was being stubborn! We have this same argument every week and he never even considers what I have to say! If saying something like that is the only way to resolve this, then so be it!" Sam shouted. Castiel grabbed the collar of Sam's shirt and pulled him up so his face was level with Castiel's.

"You're brother has been through hell and back for you, and you have no right to say those things to him, and if you cannot grasp that concept for yourself then I will just have to show you." Castiel pressed two fingers to Sam's forehead and suddenly Sam was somewhere else. It was dark and hot, he couldn't see anything at first, then there was a flash of light and suddenly the whole place lit up red. Sam was vaguely aware of Castiel standing next to him as he looked around. As he did he had to force himself not to vomit. They were in hell. There were rows of people strung up on racks, and being tortured to the point where they no longer looked like human beings.

"Follow me." Castiel said, his voice solidly angry. Sam followed, his eyes never leaving the morbid sight in front of him.

"How are we here?" Sam asked.

"This is a memory of Dean's." There was no further explanation.

Eventually Castiel stopped, then he turned to Sam, his blue eyes locking with Sam's hazel ones.

"What you're about to see is the extent of your brother's love and loyalty to you. And you will not look away, do you understand me?" He asked, voice angry, eyes blazing with stormy fury. Sam nodded, deciding it was better not to endure the angel's wraith.

When Sam looked however, he'd have rather endured all the wraith of heaven and hell and look away, then keep on staring at the gruesome sight before him.

It was his brother, bloody, beaten, and broken. The damn amulet Sam had given him the Christmas everything had become clear still hanging around his neck, its proof of loyalty mocking Sam.

Alistair appeared suddenly, with a cart of the most hideous looking torture tools Sam had ever seen.

"Hello Dean, how are you today? I see my newest apprentice has made you all nice and comfortable." Sam watched Dean's weary but determined green eyes flash with rage.

"Yeah real nice one you got there. Bitch is just full of surprises." Dean snapped, and Sam felt sudden pride in his brother's resolve. Alistair smiled.

"Good. Now that you're all nice and comfortable, I've decided to give you a chance. Victim's choice today." Alistair voice was disgustingly giddy.

"Surprise me jackass." Dean said, his voice solid. Not shaking in the least. Alistair sighed as if upset his puppet hadn't gone along with its strings, and turned his attention back to the cart. He mulled over the tools for a minute before plucking a particularly hideous knife from a pile. It was slick and sharp, one edge flat, one edge jagged. He used the tip to trace letters on Dean's chest. Sam desperately wanted to put his hands over his ears and erase the memory of his brothers agony filled screams, but something told him Cas wouldn't let that happen, not when seeing this torture and remembering it was the whole point.

When Alistair pulled away Sam puked. His lunch was ripped from his stomach by the word carved into his brother's chest. SAM. In bloody capital letters Sam's own name was carved there. Alistair reviewed his handiwork before choosing other tools from the pile. He continued to carve and cut away pieces of the flesh on Dean's arms and legs. The agony filled Dean's voice as he screamed. He looked close to unconsciousness, but hell wasn't letting him pass out, and Sam fought back another wave of nausea.

Alistair pulled another tool off the cart, a red hot rod of metal. Sam's eyes grew wide and he turned back to Cas, grabbing his trench coat, a pleading look in his eyes.

"Please Cas; I can't watch this, please. Cas please." But the angel was as stoic as ever, silently watching Dean's torture with emotionless eyes. Sam turned back in time to see Alistair caress Dean's cheeks with the red hot metal. The screams that ripped from his brother's mouth caused Sam to vomit once more.

Eventually Castiel left and Sam was forced to watch, alone, as his brother was tortured to human capacity and beyond. Finally the day ended and his brother was magically made whole once more. His eyes were tired and pain-filled; the spark they'd held at the beginning of the torture session was gone. Replaced instead with pain and anguish. Only one scar had lasted the magic of being made whole, and that was Sam's name. The letters were left there, Dean's necklace brushing their tips.

"Well Dean, tomorrow is your 20th anniversary of being damned. Hell of a time to get off the rack, don't you think?" Alistair asked, his face so close to Dean's that Sam wanted to rip it off. Sadly he couldn't do anything but watch as some of his brother's usual defiance crept back into his eyes.

"Up yours Alistair." He snapped. Sam couldn't help but smile. That was his brother. Defiant to the core, even in hell.

Alistair sighed.

"Suit yourself. Until tomorrow Dean." Then Alistair was gone, as was the cart and Dean was alone.

That's when Sam noticed it. The silent tears slipping down his brothers face.

"Sammy please…" Dean muttered his voice barely audible.

"Please Sam. I can't do this much longer. Sammy… Help me…" Sam's heart was ripped with guilt. All the time he'd been with Ruby, thinking his brother had abandoned him, being angry; feeling betrayed his brother had been here, enduring this. All because of the blind faith he had in Sam. The same faith Sam had mocked him for having in their father. That faith being the only thing to get him through his years in hell. Sam's guilt doubled when he thought about what he'd told his brother.

You know what Dean? Go to hell.

How could he? After everything Dean had done. He'd given his whole life for Sam, given up everything he ever wanted to keep Sam safe. Given his life and gone to hell, all to keep Sam alive and Sam had thrown it in his face. Told him to stick his selflessness where the sun shines and walked out on him. It was so morbidly wrong Sam couldn't believe how he'd managed to even say it in the first place.

Suddenly Castiel appeared at his side once more. He touched Sam's forehead and they were back at Bobby's salvage yard.

"Do you understand now? Understand Dean's self-sacrifice? Understand why you are so blatantly wrong?" Sam nodded. His whole body felt numb, and that was one day, not even the whole day. He didn't want to think about what Dean had to have felt like after 40 years. Didn't want to think about the numerous other ways in which his brother had been inhumanly tortured.

He nodded again and turned away from Castiel, back to the house. He opened the door and found Dean and Bobby having what seemed to be a heated argument. Dean was on his feet and in Bobby's face.

"He doesn't realize Bobby! It's not his fault!" Dean snapped.

"That's bull boy! Sam knows full well what you do for him! He had no right to say that to you!" Bobby shouted.

Sam stepped into the room.

"Dean…" He found words escaped him. His eyes torn with guilt and sorrow.

"What is it Sam?" Dean asked, slightly exasperated. Sam rushed up to Dean and pulled him into a hug. He hugged Dean tighter than he should have, eyes squeezed shut. Mind blank. All he could see was his name carved into his brother's chest, all he could hear were Dean's desperate pleas for Sam to come and save him.

"I'm sorry Dean. I'm so sorry." Sam felt Dean's hands on his back.

"It's ok Sammy. It's not a big deal." Sam pulled away, his eyes seeping tears, guilt coming off him in waves.

"Yes it is. And don't you dare say it isn't. I had no right to say those things to you Dean. You've given everything for me, and you went to hell for me. I have no right to tell you to go back. No right. You hear me?" He shook his brother for good measure. He had to drill this into Dean's head. What he'd done was not ok, and Dean needed to realize that. He needed to be able to defend himself from every threat, and if that included Sam himself, then that was the way it had to be.

Dean nodded eyes full of concern.

"Yeah Sammy I hear you. You all right?" He asked. Sam nodded, a small smile returning to his lips. He hugged his brother once more.

"Yeah, I'm all right." He let go of Dean and turned back to Bobby.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to stay here." Bobby nodded, the smile that had crept up on him during the show of brotherly affection still plastered to his face.

"Of course ya idjit! Where else you gonna go?" Bobby asked, the sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Later that night after the brothers had gone to bed Bobby sat down on the couch and motioned for Castiel to sit across from him.

"Do you need me for something?" Cas asked, Bobby shook his head as the angel sat down.

"I don't know exactly what you did, but whatever it was, you did good, idjit." There was a hint of affection in the final word. It was close to the tone he used with Sam and Dean, Cas realized. With that realization came the one that he'd done well by Bobby Singer, and was starting to be welcome in this home as less of a hunter's helper, and more as family.

"I simply showed Sam the extent of his brother's sacrifice for him. It was nothing." Cas replied. Bobby sighed but smiled.

He got up and pulled Cas into a quick hug.

"Now go on, git. Go do whatever it is angels do when we're all sleeping." Cas nodded and disappeared from the room with the sound of flapping wings, and Bobby knew he hadn't imagined the smile.