A/N: So this is my very first fic, but its been formulating for months in my mind. I have a nice map of where I want this to go. However, I would love reviews so I can improve the series. Actually, I am creating an entire 'verse here, so there is a lot of content I would love to share. Everything is canon right up to the last second in Sacrifice. Planning on some Destiel eventually, but I want to build up to that.

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of their characters from CW. I am not profiting financially from the creation and publication of this story. Any and all real persons and situations are purely coincidental.

Of Secrets and Truth

Chapter 1

The Fallen Host

For many people across the globe, a shooting star is memorable in that it grants a wish. It is because, perhaps, a shooting star is brilliant for a split second, never to be seen again. It never comes down to Earth, it is but a streak of light from the heavens. Much like a wish, brilliant and real for a time, but soon gone, its acknowledgment fleeting. A falling star though technically the same thing, does not hold the same wonder. Its end is fire and destruction, marred by the fact it does come down to the Earth. And it stays here, never to return to the skies.

Sometimes being in the know sucks Dean thought. By rights, what was happening in the skies above was beautiful. The bursts of shining light and the flaming stars all across the night sky was something to behold. But, he knows what is happening. Too much was happening actually. He has a shadow of brother who's sick and coughing. He has a half cured King of Hell in a church behind him. He blew the chance to close hell because he was selfish. He was angered that Castiel left him to deal with the dick Metatron when he needed him most. And now, and now, somewhere between horror and the anger, he was worried about Castiel. Seeing that those stars where angels, de-winged and falling, nearly made him pity them.

"Castiel! Get your ass down here!" Dean yelled to the falling heavens. He knew that either Cas or Metatron caused the angels to fall. When Cas failed to materialize, he felt a pang of hurt, worry and anger all at once.

But he had enough on his plate at the moment, and his brother takes up one huge plate. Sam is stronger and smarter than him. To see him reduced to this shell of what he was, coughing and unable to move without assistance should be his primary concern. But he'll take Sam as he is, which is alive, any day over him being dead. Again. Sam's barely conscious, sweating and coughing that he dimly noticed the light show. Castiel and his stupid ass will have to be dealt with later.

"Dean!"

"What Sammy?!"

"We can't leave Crowley in there. cough He may not be cured, but he has a conscious now. And Abaddon is gunning for him now. cough Gotta take him." Sam had a difficulty keeping his head level, instead he opted to keep his head down.

"Sammy, I don't care about him! I have to take care of you. This…"pointing the still falling angels, "…this is a whole new bag of trouble. Trouble we don't need. You're coughing up a lung man, you're feverish. You can't stand for crissakes!" Dean lowers his voice, Cas must be out there, falling as well. "Cas….I don't know about Cas. You come first, we're heading home. We'll sort this mess out when you get better."

"Dean! Listen to me dammit! cough We have to take him, he is our responsibility now. Crowley isn't fully human, but he's about there. And if any other demon comes, he's toast. We did this Dean, we did this to him." Sam gave him a hard look, and damn, did it look more intimidating with his skin taunt and pale. Fury boiled in Dean in response.

"I don't owe that son of a bitch shit Sam! Abaddon can roast that smug ass of his. I don't care. You need to rest, get better, and find out what the hell is happening. Sam, you nearly sacrificed your life in there. You aren't dying on me. You'll get better, and then we find Cas." He lowers his voice again, giving Sam a look of worry, hurt and loss. "Man….Cas." Dean looks up at the sky; there are less streaks of light now. How many angels were there? He can't help but wonder what the hell happened up there. What if Cas is dead? No, he can't think that. Won't think that. Cas fell, cause if he fell, then he's alive.

The trials nearly took everything from him, and he was ready to give it all up, to close hell. Deep down, Sam knew that was always going to be the case. It wouldn't be Winchester fashion to have the cake and eat it too. But damn, it hurt like a motherfucker. The light was something like a hot electric fire, purifying in its pain. Letting go of something like that is not going to be easy. And as soon as he stepped outside the church, we was in agony. It like being sucker punched in the gut, with a crowbar to the head. Legs felt like Jell-O. Dean had to carry him to the car.

It hurt so much he didn't even notice that the heaven was being emptied of its celestial occupants. When Dean said the angels were falling, he couldn't believe it. It was impossible. Then again, impossible is a word that doesn't stick to his life. He did wish Cas was here though, if only to explain what was happening. Would be great if he could heal him, but Cas already said there was damage he could not undo. Finishing the ritual with Crowley should have finished him, but also release him from this burden.

Crowley. If that demon…man, being was anything, it was always surprising. He did not expect the confession that all Crowley wanted was love. Sure, he hated him for all the trouble and death he dealt to the brothers all these years. But he wasn't malevolent, or cruel for the sake of it. He had a business to run, though granted it was hell and souls he traded in. He had to be cruel and evil if only to stop those who wanted chaos and bloodshed. He thought Crowley wanted two things, power and order. But with him rediscovering his humanity, he voiced the one thing that everyone at some point wanted, has or had. Love.

Sam couldn't stand to leave Crowley in there alone, tied up and helpless. He knows Abaddon will come back, or some other demon jockeying for power, will kill him. No. They had to bring him. He'll admit, it's not the best idea, but it is the right one. But convincing Dean would be an uphill battle.

"Dean, look, I know these falling angels is a big worry. I know you are worried for Cas, hoping he's out there, alive. Cas, he pulls through, I'll pull through. But Crowley is here with us. Don't get me wrong, I hate him as much as you do." At this, Dean gives a cautious look. "But, that was before we returned his humanity to him. He wants forgiveness. He….he wants to be loved" Sam looks down, quite. "Dean, he is genuine about this, he wanted to be cured. The last few injections, he did not resist. I can't explain it, but I feel his need for love. There is nothing more human than that. That is something, even Kings of Hell, can aspire to have."

Dean is in disbelief, Crowley confessing all he wanted was love? He glanced over to the church. Could Crowley be telling the truth? It has happened before, but there was always an ulterior motive. Looking back at Sam, he sees in his brother the absolute conviction of his belief of his words. Love, in the life of Dean Winchester, is tragic. But he has loved. Loves. Loves his brother, loved Bobby as a father. Loved his parents, Lisa and Ben. Hell, he even loved Benny as a fellow hunter and friend. And Cas, well, Cas is his best friend and pain in the ass. All of this love though, has earned him nothing but heartache, betrayal and death.

"Fine, we take him with." Dean frowns and gets up.

"Thank you Dean." Dean leers at Sam. "Really, thank you." Sam tries to get up, but somehow he can't muster the strength to do so. Dean grabs hold of him and opens the door for Sam to sit down, whose face is grimaced in pain. Dean furrows his brow and nudges Sam to the passenger side.

"Well, if Crowley wants love. He's welcome to have it." Dean looks up at the now still sky. Slightly under his breath, he adds, "God knows I don't want it." He straightens himself up, looks at Sam with a smirk. "You and his highness can have all the chick flick moments. But we're keeping him locked up tight. Capisce?"

"Yeah, Dean, I'm not stupid." Sam replies groggily, his head resting on the passenger side window already.

"Ok, now I am going to get his recently deposed ass in the car. One wrong move, and its over for him." Dean closes the door and walks back to the church. Sam strains to look back, sees Dean heading up the steps. Sam isn't stupid, and he also isn't deaf. He heard Dean, and he can't help but shake his head. Dean, his emotionally stunted brother, fails to see how much he is loved. Oh, he knows Dean loves him, but they're brothers. Charlie loves Dean too. He'll admit Benny did love Dean as a brother in arms. Bobby loves the boys as his own sons. And Cas, well, Cas is whole different level of love. Sam sighs inwardly, if they only knew how much they cared for each other.

Sam closes his eyes, and barely audible, prays to Cas. "Castiel, if you hear my prayers still, please come back. Come back to us safe. Come back to Dean. He needs you."

When he awoke, he had a backache. His neck felt strained, the ground underneath him was hard and poking in unpleasant places. Then he scrambled to his feet when he realized what was happening. Castiel took in his surroundings quickly. He was in a forest, no signs of nearby civilization. It was quite, all he heard was the rustle of the leaves and his own thundering heartbeat. Then he saw a flash of light above. This cannot be good, what has Metatron done he thought. He needed to see what was happening.

He rushed to the nearest clearing to him, which happened to be beside a large lake. It was mostly still and was like a mirror, what it reflected was so heart breaking, so devastating, he could not speak. Slowly looking up, he saw his brothers and sisters thrown out of heaven. With tears beginning to well up as they burned as they came into exile. Their wings were shorn away before landing violently either in water or the unforgiving Earth. Castiel was dumbstruck, he caused this. He already killed thousands of his family, and now the rest are falling. Confused, afraid, angry and lost all because of his actions.

Just as the angels rained down in fiery despair, tears now flowed freely from him as well. Ha sank to his knees, eyes still facing sky. All he wanted was to help, to protect his family and those he loved. But every time he tried to do so, it always caused more damage than good. He should have listened to Dean. Dean was right; he should have come to him. Dean would have stopped this from happening. How can he face him now? Dean would probably scorn and berate him, rightfully so, he deserved it. He deserved much worse. This cause Castiels heart to ache, even more than he could handle.

And then it hit him. He is human. Completely human. Metatron took all his grace. He reached within himself, but felt nothing, save for a slight…what was the name of this sensation…hunger. Even when at Stull, he still felt small traces of his grace, though he was unable to use it. Now, he felt nothing, felt empty. He couldn't reign in all his emotions, not like when he was an angel. They were crashing all over him, the anger for being duped by Metatron. The fear for his brothers and sisters, the sting of guilt knowing it is all on him. The hopelessness of his situation and the sadness he will certainly cause Dean.

Castiel then felt a glimmer of hope, the Winchesters. They have survived through a slew of tragedies and even an apocalypse or two. If there was anyone on Earth who he can hope in, it is in Dean and Sam. Courage and righteous fury compelled him to stand. Perhaps they might help him, or perhaps not, but it was worth a shot. He owes it to them to be completely honest now, to lay bare his sins. He didn't know why, but he felt a bit happy in the prospect in seeing the brothers, especially Dean.

By this point, the host had stopped falling. It didn't appear anyone landed near him, for which he was thankful for. He wouldn't know what to say if he saw a sibling. It is very possible they would try to kill him. Castiel beat down his emotions and focused on making a plan. Logic took over and he began looking over the area he was in. It appeared he wasn't close to the brothers or to the bunker. He tried looking at the stars to get a clue to his exact location. His angelic memory was mostly intact, but he had to concentrate on the constellations. He thinks he is in the western US, maybe Montana? Sparsely populated region, best chance is to find a road, find a town. He checked his wallet. Jimmy was moderately well off, and Amelia never cut off his credit card. He cashed out when he took the tablet, and took the bus around the country before he did his quantum tunneling in Biggersons. He had a couple hundred dollars, enough to get to the Winchesters.

He may no longer be an angel, but that did not mean he had to give into the fear. He had a mission, a purpose enough to drown out the guilt and depression. He had to find Sam and Dean.