Warning: A bit more violence and blood than usual, nothing too terribly graphic since this is rated T. Also a touch of sexual content, again nothing graphic just kissy-kissy ^.^ And one other thing, attempted suicide. (There's the angst I promised ;) I highly suggest listening to In Control by Nemesea while listening to the Allen sections. That is all. Enjoy~!

Chapter 21: Night Terror

Allen's PoV

While I'm flattered Road wants me to meet her family again, I can't help but be somewhat wary. My memories of them are not the best, nor are they flattering. From what I remember the Noahs are consumed by their hatred, the thing Mana had warned me against. And not to mention they were just downright creepy. I don't think I really want to go to their little party alone, with only the Noahs for company, but I don't want anyone else to get too deeply involved with them.

I left Road's room, leaving her toying with a doll that looked eerily like Lenalee. I made my way back to the room I share with Kanda. I'm not sure how I feel about us now. I don't understand how someone as gorgeous and perfect as him could love someone as broken as me. He deserves someone so much better, someone who is as perfect as he is. Not someone like me. Not someone who needs someone there to sleep, not someone who is covered in scars and bruises from his master, not someone who is considered a freak, not someone who was abandoned by his parents. I shouldn't do this. I should let Kanda find his perfect someone. He can't possibly love me.

By the time, I reached my room I left tears building behind my eyes. Tearing open our door, I dive for my stash of medicines. Doctors always seemed to think that I could be fixed with drugs; they were so wrong. I wrenched open the bottle, and gulp down the last ones, discarding the bottle somewhere on the floor. Screw neatness. How can I consider being neat when I'm dying inside? Curling up on the floor, I let the tears come. They fell fast and thick; since I had been sleeping with Kanda I hadn't cried or had nightmares. I cried then as though I had been saving my tears. My body shook with the force of my sobs, the weight of my sorrows.

Eventually, my tears dried up and I drifted off to sleep.

˚~˚~˚~ Fear is the key of your life. It has locked your door. ˚~˚~˚~

Kanda's PoV (Directly after classes)

That damn girl. That damn bitch. Road is up to something, and I fully intend on finding out what. How could she think she could casually invite my boyfriend back to her room, given their history? My hands shook with fury as I stalked back to Allen's and my room to get Mugen. Our room… I never thought I could fall for that irritating bean sprout. But I did. He came barging into my life, as obtrusive as he could possibly be and yet so gentlemanly. Too gentlemanly. Those first weeks as roommates were hard. Moyashi tossed and turned, crying silently in his sleep, and there was nothing I could do. I guess that one dream was enough, his screams and the pure terror held therein. I couldn't leave him like that. Not when I knew how it felt to be so scared. What hurt the most though wasn't how scared he was, but rather was how damn apologetic he was. At least now we sleep in the same bed, and it seems to help Allen's dreams. He doesn't look as tired as he had.

I grabbed Mugen from my desk, and leave the room again. I wander through the dorm hallways, in no real hurry to get anywhere. My fangirls are, thankfully, busy with their finals. I've decided that my project on Allen will be a performance type of art. The old geezer, Tiedol, said we could use any type of art we wanted, and there is no fucking way I am going to write calligraphy. Tiedol would like that fucking too much. For Allen, I want to capture his strength and his vulnerability without letting everyone else know what his weaknesses are. Let them think the softness is his compassion or some shit like that.

The outside air is crisp, clean, and cold. Soon I would have to find an indoor practice area. Unsheathing Mugen, I center my thoughts, and begin moving through the motions. Step left and forward, turn and step right, pivot and step center. Over and over I drilled the form. I would not risk fucking up.

Darkness crept up on me; I hadn't noticed how dark it was getting until I could no longer see Mugen save for a brief flash of silver light. I wipe the sweat off my forehead, and run a soft cloth over Mugen before I begin to make my way back to the room.

˚~˚~˚~ Now I'm not an artist; I'm a fucking work of art ˚~˚~˚~

Allen's PoV

Kanda and I walk together through the halls of the school. There is no else; everything is silent except our footfalls. There is little light; instead of the bright florescent lights the halls are light with gas lamps that flicker and jump, casting irregular shadows. I looked up at Kanda's face. His usual scowl is absent, replaced with an expression of absolute fury. Then, I notice our hands. It was not as I first thought it to be; we are not walking hand in hand. Kanda grips my wrist, tighter than Master ever did. It hurts.

"K-Kanda" He probably doesn't realize that he's hurting me. I wriggle my wrist around, trying to get his attention. But he ignores me, and his grip only tightens. "Kanda let go!"

I stop walking. Kanda whips around, his beautiful blue hair flying out in a glossy curtain as his dark eyes glare holes into me. He doesn't say anything; he jerks my hand, causing me to stumble. Using the momentum, Kanda keeps walking. I regain my balance, and try to push him off with my other hand. I always knew he was strong, that was one of the reasons I am so attracted to him, but this. He can't be human.

With this realization, my blood runs cold. If he looks like Kanda and possesses this inhuman strengthen… No. It can't be. He isn't a relation to any of them… Is he?

Adrenaline floods my system as I fight him, kicking at his knees, scratching his skin anywhere its exposed, kneeing his groin. Kanda falls to his knees, gasping. I wrench my hand away, and grip the sides of his head with his hair. I feel the fury I had seen in him. I look into his eyes and I see a moment of clarity, my Kanda. But it's too late. I bought his head down onto my knee, and feel it crack. Blood covers my hand and clothes and spreads to cover every surface, as Kanda's lifeless body falls to the ground.

"This is better than I could've hoped! Allen, my poor little Allen, still haunted. Even with his big, bad samurai, he's unstable! And that will make his conversion all the easier! Dreams are the windows to the soul, and his dreams reveal just how fucked up he is. I missed you, Allen-kun. I always knew you were special. Just didn't quite realize how special. Millenie will be so pleased!" I jump at Road's voice echoing through the halls. A doll comes sauntering down the blood soaked hall. I realize it's Road. Terror envelops me as she smiles a Cheshire grin.

˚~˚~˚~ Fear will be yours in this world full of whispering voices... Your will is lost and you can't run from me ˚~˚~˚~

Kanda's PoV

"Look! There he is!" a girl shrieks, and suddenly I am surrounded by screaming girls. They don't seem to know the meaning of personal space as they touch me, feeling my arms and chest like it's completely fine.

"Get the fuck off me!" The girls laugh, and make a grab for my hair tie. Hell no. I push them away harder than I probably should have, but they got the message, backing away from me. About time they got the fucking message…

I give the girls one last glare before continuing on. Somewhere along the way, Marie falls in step with me. It's been a while since I've been alone with my foster brother. As far as people go, I rather like Marie. He doesn't force things onto me like Tiedol; he's not hyperactive like Lavi. We walk in silence to the elevator and are joined by Bookman. It reaches Marie's floor, and as he steps out he beckons to me to come with him.

"Kanda, I haven't seen enough of you lately. Come on," Marie said.

"Tch, I have, too much." Bookman scoffs and rolls his eyes. I glare briefly at him, but follow my brother out of the elevator. We walk the short distance to his room. The layout of the floors below mine is exactly the same, since the Black Order is a tower. Upon entering, the room looks exactly like mine, except the room is designed for one person instead of two. Tch faculty perks.

"What did you want really, Marie?" I lean against the windowsill, arms folded. It's not that I don't trust he just misses me. It's just I don't fully believe him.

"Tiedol is worried about you." He replied, sitting on the desk chair. "He erroneously assumed he would see as much of you here as he had at home. He's just having trouble letting go his youngest son."

I roll my eyes. Of course that's what he wanted to talk to me about. "What do you want me to do about it? It's not like he doesn't drop in on my roommate and I uninvited."

Marie laughed, probably having heard about that from Tiedol himself. "Well, I can't argue with that. Perhaps you could come visit him during his office hours or talk for a few minutes after class. It would mean a lot to the old man."

I nod, pushing off the windowsill and head for the door. "I'll try, Marie."

Marie smiles and waves as I depart.

˚~˚~˚~ Sun sets and the angels fall, something isn't right. This is a state of emergency. Don't want to be another casualty ˚~˚~˚~

Allen's PoV

"You've done so well in your trial run, Allen. We only hope these results repeat themselves after you really are one of us." Road purred, hopping up onto my shoulder. I am frozen in shock. Did I really just kill Kanda? No, I couldn't have. I would never. How could I?

"Aw, poor Allen, so confused. How you did this you ask? All on your own, with your two hands. You saw Kanda for the true human he was. He never loved you. How could he? You're flawed, like the rest of us Noah. You're different, inhuman, a freak." Road whispered in my ear. I watched the Order vanish, to be replaced by the familiar blackness, Mana and now Kanda at the center.

"Go on. Try to get to him, freak. You thought he loved you? He felt sorry for you, and took pity on you. He and Neah were soft, taking in a stray." Road's voice began to fade into the symphony of other voices shrieking.

You're a monster… You deserved the beatings Cross gave you…

I want to move towards Mana, but I cannot. My feet refuse to work. I turn away from Mana and Kanda, from the light surrounding them.

You're better off without them… No one has ever loved you…

I run into the blackness towards the source of the screams. Shadows grab at my clothes, pulling me back. They want me to stay away. There must be something, something I'm missing. I have to reach it before it's too late.

˚~˚~˚~ Can you hear me? You've lost and I control you. You won't escape all your nightmares will break free ˚~˚~˚~

Kanda's PoV

I walk back through the hall towards the elevator. And guess who gets off the elevator. Speak of the devil and he will appear. I groan internally. Marie's words are still fresh in my mind as he approaches me with his kindly smile.

"Yuu, my boy, were you visiting Marie?" Tiedol grips my shoulders, and I begrudgingly don't protest. Tiedol takes that as the ok to pull me into a hug. Again, I don't protest. What's the harm in letting him have one?

"Yes, I was. Does it matter?" Tiedol released me, still smiling though now there was a touch of surprise mixed in.

"Not at all, I'll see you in class tomorrow," He waved as he headed off. I push the up button on the elevator, and wait. I hear muffled sounds through the elevator shaft. Expecting someone to be on the elevator, I pull on my best don't-fucking-talk-to-me glare. Ding! The doors opened revealing Lenalee pushed up against the elevator wall with the Usagi attack her neck while he held her up. They don't even notice as the doors slide shut again. I'll take the next one.

˚~˚~˚~ As the sun fills the blue sky, there's danger on the horizon ˚~˚~˚~

Allen's PoV

I'm running, the shadowy hands grab at me, pulling back, screaming louder. I know I'm close.

"No Allen!" Road's voice rings like a bell, cutting through the cacophony, but I have to escape. I have to get away from the truth. I am a freak, a monster. I have no one left. "You can't! Stop!"

I hit a wall made from some stretchy material. I push against it as the voices scream.

"No! Stop the freak! Keep in the dark! Get him!"

Kanda is dead. Mana is gone. Road is evil. There is only so much one person, one human, can take. I feel the grief and sorrow build within me, as tear at the barrier. My finger catches, finally breaking through. I push through it into a blinding white parlor type room. There is a couch and a table and a piano. The walls each hold several mirrors. As I set through, I catch a glimpse of a figure with a darkened face and large overcoat. I whirl around and he's gone.

"Allen! Allen!" A faint voice reaches me. "Dammit Moyashi! Wake up! Moyashi! Please… Don't leave me alone again… Come back…"

"K-kanda?" I look around for the source of the voice only to find the room fading away.

"Until next time… Walker…" A deep rumbling voice says just as I awaken.

˚~˚~˚~ You will become less than one after I am done. ˚~˚~˚~

Kanda's PoV (Allen's like sleep-words/screams/whatever-you-know-what-I-mean are in italics)

At long last, I return to the room, before I reach the door I hear him crying out. Not good enough… Monster… let go of me! The fear in voice sends me into a panic. I jerk open the door, and hit the lights. Get away! Frantically, I look for Moyashi. In my haste, I trip on something. Freak… Swearing, I pick it up. The bottle is small, white, and empty.

"Allen!" I throw the bottle away, and pull out my phone, just in case. Get off! I find him curled up on the floor by his desk, trembling and thrashing. "Allen! Dammit Moyashi! Wake up!"

I pull him onto my lap, pinning his arms, and shake him lightly. Lemme go! He can't be OD-ed; he wouldn't do something like that, he couldn't do something like that. I caress his face, admiring his unique beauty. "Moyashi! Please… Don't leave me alone again… Come back…"

I clutch tightly him to my chest, his head lolled on my shoulder. I feel him starting to come to.

"Mm? Wha-" He pulls away, takes one look at me, and bolts to the other side of the room, shaking and cowering in fear. "Stay over there! You're not real! You c-can't be! I k-killed you! You can't hurt me again!"

I freeze, dumbstruck. This dream must have been a doozy if he still believes it. I stay where I am, and put my hands up in a gesture of surrender. "Moyashi, it's alright now. I would never hurt you."

Slowly, I get to my feet, but stay hunched at the waist with my knees bent. With frightened creatures, I've learned it is best to stay low and approach slowly. "You have never hurt me either. It was a dream, Allen." I move a few inches in his direction and stop.

"No! I did! B-because you were hurting me! You realized you couldn't love a freak!" He stays where he is. His eyes move frantically, trying to calculate if he could make a break for it. Like hell would that happen.

"It is alright now, Allen. No one hurt anyone." I crept within an arm's length. "You need help. Let me help you. I promise I will not hurt you."

When he doesn't move, I take that as an ok signal. Cautiously, I kneel in front of him, and touch one shoulder with my hand. He flinches, but doesn't pull away; Allen is in there somewhere. I just have to find him. I place my other hand on his waist, and bring his body toward me. I slowly pick him up, and bring over to my bed. I lay him down, and draw up the covers. I hold him to my chest, and rub circles on his back to help his trembling subside.

"Nennen korori yo, Okorori yo. Bōya wa yoi ko da, Nenne shina. Bōya no omori wa, Doko e itta? Ano yama koete, Sato e itta. Sato no miyage ni, Nani morotta? Denden taiko ni, Shō no fue." I sing softly before I notice Allen has stopped quaking in fear, and is now curl against me, clinging as though his life depends on it. It might for all I know. I run my fingers through his hair, and continue singing until my Moyashi relaxes into a deep, dreamless sleep.

˚~˚~˚~ I'll do anything to take away the pain that harms you; I'll count every second until the skies are blue ˚~˚~˚~

So? Was this alright for a revival set of chapters? Comments, questions, suggestions are always welcome. R&R here or message me on Tumblr ( .com) Until next time lovelies~!

Love and Starbucks, Ankhesa