Sex.

Sex was something Hanji Zoe was extremely interested in. As a scientist, she was naturally aware of all the mechanics of sex, from where everything went to what happened when it did. It was a process she always found fascinating, with her curiosity enhanced by her own inexperience in the area. Many times she sat together with Mike in his room while he relayed tales of his own sexual experiences in the brothels he had visited. Hanji would be simultaneously amazed and dejected, impressed with Mike's riveting stories but disheartened over not having anything on the topic to share back except for the many things she read in the books Petra leant her. On one occasion Mike even offered to take her to a brothel, but was stopped mid-offer when Levi overheard and threatened to castrate him.

Levi.

Since the moment Levi first kissed her five months ago, they hadn't particularly advanced far in terms of physical intimacy. In particular, for the last month Levi had not even touched her. Although, Hanji considered, it was probably due to an incident one night when they were together in Levi's bedroom. It was the first time Levi had touched her breast and in her excitement and nervousness, Hanji flailed and kneed Levi right in the groin. He walked with a limp the next day, and everyone was careful not to mention it. Unfortunately, Eren was not as well versed in the Art of Avoiding Pissing of Levi as the older Recon members. He mistakenly asked Levi about his limp, which lead to the latter ordering Eren to clean the HQ kitchen with only a toothbrush.

Then there was that other time when Hanji asked Levi to take his pants off and she spent twenty minutes staring and touching his bare crotch in utter amazement, for it was the first time she had seen a man's privates. Levi had endured the relentless poking and prodding, albeit grudgingly, but put his foot down when Hanji whipped out the magnifying glass.

And well, there was also the time Hanji accidentally bit Levi's tongue while anxiously trying a particular kissing maneuver she'd read in a book she confiscated from an underage recuit.

And one other time when they were in Hanji's room and Hanji forgot she'd asked Moblit to drop off some research papers and he walked in on them lying on the bed, Levi's hands underneath Hanji's shirt. Since that day, Moblit had been unable to meet her eyes and scurried away frantically whenever Levi was nearby.

All in all, none of those experiences were memorable for any sort of right reason. And now Levi was keeping his distance, although he interacted with her like he did as usual, leading Hanji to believe he wasn't angry, but just being patient for her sake. Maybe he realised she was nervous about having sex? Well, he wouldn't be wrong. While Hanji found the whole prospect of sex exhilarating, at the same time felt extremely jittery about it. The getting naked part didn't make her uneasy, since she and Levi had seen each other nude plenty of times before, due to Hanji's habit of barging into Levi's room unannounced and Levi's habit of changing Hanji into her sleeping clothes when she was too drunk or exhausted to do it herself. It was the actual thought of being touched so intimately and finally doing something she had wanted to experience for ages that was causing the problem. All the information she'd collected about sex from her extensive research and Mike's many, many anecdotes seemed to evaporate whenever Levi touched and she was reduced to a nervous yet completely turned on wreck.

She failed to understand why Levi didn't have the same problem, considering he was as inexperienced as her when it came to physical intimacy. In a fit of curiosity she once asked him if he ever had sex and he blankly replied "No." Yet he seemed to know exactly what he was doing when they were together, despite the fact Hanji was certain she was the one with the superior knowledge. Maybe it was similar to his ability to kill Titan's so efficiently: it just came naturally.

It was driving Hanji crazy. It was time, she decided, to seek help from the experts.

Mike listened emphatically while she told him her problem.

"Seduce him," He replied immediately, after she finished talking. "That way you'll be the one in control, initiating things and once you get in the flow of it, you'll forget about your nerves."

Hanji frowned, feeling wary. She didn't think she'd have the skill to seduce a chair, let alone someone as rigid as Levi.

"How exactly do I do that?"

"It's not that complicated really," Mike said, resting his chin on his clasped hands. "You just need to appeal to his main interests."

"His interests…" Hanji thought for a moment. What was Levi interested in? The answer was obvious, although not the first thing she would have considered to be useful in her quest to learn the art of seduction. "Well, he likes…cleaning?"

Mike nodded wisely.

"So you mean, I should show up at his door completely naked while holding a mop or something?" Hanji asked excitedly, feeling the gears in her brain turning frantically. "Or take a duster and trail it down my body while he watches?"

Smirking, Mike leaned back into his chair, stretching his legs out. "I think we're done here."

Hanji adjusted her apron, feeling slightly weary. Sprawled out on the floor of Levi's bedroom, she wearing nothing but an apron, lying on top of a heap of sponges, brooms, mops, detergent bottles, dustpans, cloths and every kind of cleaning supply she could find stored in Levi's closet. She'd even poured washing up liquid on her body, hoping it would do the trick of enticing Levi. The whole thing felt weird, to say the least, especially since she felt some of the supplies under her jabbing her in very critical places and fervently hoped Levi would hurry up and arrive already.

There were footsteps out the door. Hanji braced herself, trying to look as seductive as possible. In a quick fit of inspiration, she grabbed one of the sponges and placed it between her teeth, hoping she didn't look like a complete idiot and Levi would find it somewhat sultry.

The door opened, and Levi walked into the room. His usual blank expression faded away pretty quickly once he spotted Hanji on the floor. Pleased to see his eyes had widened slightly and his mouth was open in surprise, Hanji was already beginning to congratulate herself in her mind until Levi closed his mouth and the expression in his face changed to one of irritation.

"I am going to kill Mike." Levi turned abruptly around, walked out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

For a few minutes, Hanji didn't move due to utter shock. She had hypothesized many different scenarios to occur after Levi saw her, but this was certainly not one of them. Levi's death threat for Mike suddenly loomed into her mind and she quickly got up, spitting out the sponge in her mouth and forgetting her state of undress, ran out the door.

"LEVI, WAAAAAIT!"

Hanji sat dejectedly on Levi's bed, his bathrobe draped around her body, staring at the floor while Levi was positioned in a chair opposite her. The evening had gone horrendously, although she at least managed to prevent Mike's complete annihilation. Levi had not been happy with her for following him and barging into Mike's room half naked. While trying to cover her up with his jacket, he had simultaneously threatened to stab out Mike's eyes and other sensitive places if he didn't stop ogling her.

"Hanji, look at me."

Looking up, Hanji found it difficult to meet Levi's eyes. While he didn't look irritated anymore, he just appeared confused which for some reason made Hanji feel evenworse.

"Why did you ask Mike for his stupendously ludicrous advice?" Levi asked, pronouncing Mike's name as if it tasted revolting. Hanji sighed. "I just wanted to be sure."

Levi raised his eyebrows. "Sure of what"?

"I wanted to be sure I did everything right," Hanji replied, feeling an outbreak of emotions pouring out of her at once. "I've always wondered what sex would be like but I didn't expect it would be this difficult! And I'll admit, even though I want to have sex would you, actually doing it freaks me out as well, because I can't seem to do it right even though I've done so much research and I've gotten even more nervous after seeing you with your pants off I mean I didn't think it would be thatbig, considering your height and everything, and I just wonder how uncomfortable it would be and if I was doing it correctly and –"

Levi had raised his hand, motioning her to stop. He looked at her intently.

"Hanji, I trust you. Do you trust me?"

Hanji blinked. "Yes of course, after all we've known each for what, 6 years now? We even fought our first Titan together, do you remember? It was that really remarkable looking 7 meter class –"

"Then that's all you need to be sure about," Levi interrupted, grabbing Hanji by the back of her neck and jerking her forward. "Now cease your incessant rambling and close your eyes."

Any reply Hanji had disappeared from her mind the moment Levi's mouth descended on hers.

He was ignoring her.

He was sitting opposite her, resolutely not looking her way and focusing intently on whatever Irvin was saying and writing on the board right now. She tried throwing a piece of crumpled paper at him, which hit him squarely on the shoulder but Levi didn't even blink.

Sighing, Hanji rested her chin in the palm of her hand, barely listening as Irvin spoke during the meeting. They had finally slept together, but ever since thathappened during their lovemaking last night, Levi refused to even speak to her this morning. Hanji had hoped the day after she finally had sex would be a joyous one, but she even managed to screw that up.

She was shaken out of her thoughts after Mike, who was sitting next to her, passed her a note. After making sure Irvin was still busy writing on the board and wouldn't notice, Hanji opened Mike's note and read the contents.

What happened last night? Did you guys do it? Was Levi so angry he couldn't get it up? Why does he look like something crawled up his ass and died?

Hanji bit her lip, pondering whether to tell Mike about the unfortunate incident last night. On the one hand, she was dying to have someone to share her problem with, but she was also completely embarrassed about it. Mike was a trusted friend though, and she would eventually tell him anyway. After quickly scribbling her reply, she tossed the note back to him.

I screamed out Bean's name during my climax.

To Hanji's dismay, Mike made a choking noise and covered his face with his hands, stifling what sounded clearly like laughter. The sound caused Irvin to turn around, raising his eyebrows at the sight of humanity's second strongest soldier experiencing what could only be described as a fit of giggles. While Hanji was mortified, at least Levi was finally looking at her now, even if only to send her murderous glares that suggested Hanji was in a hell of a lot of trouble.

After the meeting, Hanji followed Levi to his bedroom and immediately began releasing a flurry of apologies she had rehearsed since last night. Levi leaned against the wall, arms and legs crossed while he regarded her skeptically as she rambled on.

"I can assure you, it's not like I was thinking of Bean the entire time while we were doing it! It's just that, having sex made me feel a similar feeling of excitement and passion that I have when I'm testing out new concoctions or making headway in my Titan research and that's the only reason why Bean popped up in my head, it's not like I want to have sex with Bean or anything I mean first of all, Titans don't even have reproductive parts, but can you imagine if they did? It would be horrible if a town was wrecked thanks to the swinging around of a 7ft peni-"

"Take off your pants."

Hanji blinked stupidly at Levi, who was looking at her expectantly. He'd said it as if it was the most casual thing in the world to say to a person who was busy apologizing. She didn't have much time to reflect, however, as Levi marched toward her and began fumbling with the belt of her pants.

"W-ait!" She quickly grabbed hold of his hands, halting his movements. The look he gave her made her shiver in excitement and dread alike. "What are you doi-"

"I am going to make you come until your throat is hoarse from screaming my name," Levi interrupted shortly, nudging away her hands and pulling down the zipper of her pants. "And we'll do it as many times as it takes until Bean's name is erased from that damn head of yours."

Sex, Hanji concluded, as Levi pushed her down on the bed and crawled on top of her, fisting his hands in her hair and scraping his teeth down her neck, was really, really interesting.