"Isn't she beautiful?"

"She?" Merlin could think of several shes whom Arthur could be referring to.

"Morgana."

"Ah."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"'Well what' I asked you a question, there's no need for your snarky attitude, prat."

"Oh, well, yes, she is quite lovely. But I—"

"But you don't want to offend me by saying so? Oh no, it's quite alright Merlin. I'm not threatened by you."

"No, it isn't that… It's just—"

"Ah, I see. Someone else has your eye, is that it? It's Morgana's maid, right? Gwen?"

"Gwen is beautiful too, but no, Arthur, that's not what I mean—"

"Well what could you mean then? Surely you must like someone. Are Camelot's maidens not good enough for you? Merlin please, as a servant you can't really afford to be picky."

"I'm not being picky, you toadstool, you aren't letting me finish."

"By all means, please!"

"Camelot does have fine maidens, really. It's just… Not the maidens that I feel drawn to, see…"

"What are you saying?"

"That it's really more of the knights that I fancy."

"Oh."

"Yes."

"And are there, er, any knights in particular?"

"Well, yes. There is one toerag that captures my attention."

"Oh really?"

"Yes really."

"And you think that you might have a chance with this knight?"

"Perhaps."

"Well, how could you? You're just a servant, after all. It's not as though he's paid much attention to you."

"Now who's being snarky?"

"You're the one who thinks he's got a chance."

"Well I suppose I don't, since he's too busy ogling the girls."

"Ah, and is he lucky with the ladies?"

"Don't make me laugh."

"Now Merlin, I have no idea who you're talking about."

"I'll give you a hint: he's the daftest knight in Camelot."

"We don't employ daft knights, you know."

"His father's the king; they don't really have much choice."

"…And what is it that makes him so daft, might I ask?"

"The fact that he doesn't notice a mere servant's attraction to him. Then again, why would he? Just a servant, after all."

"And let's say he has noticed his half-witted servant's feelings. What does that make him?"

"The biggest git in all of Camelot."

"On what grounds?"

"Not acknowledging them."

"And how would he go about that, O wise one?"

"Probably by pretending to find his father's ward attractive beyond belief and ignoring the other's affections entirely."

"That doesn't seem fair."

"It isn't."

"Not to the poor servant, anyway."

"He gets along just fine without the whingy knight any further in his life than as is."

"So I suppose he wouldn't accept any further advances?"

"Of what kind."

"A kiss or two to start out, I'd guess."

"Oh, he'd probably be much opposed."

"Probably."

"Very likely."

"And quite reasonably."

"Although…"

"Although what, Merlin?"

"I mean maybe he's just been waiting for the dunce to do something of that kind… Just a thought."

"Like a kiss?"

"Like a kiss."

"Well then, perhaps it's your lucky day. My lips are of service."

"I-I never said it was you…"

"Here now Merlin, I'm not as daft as you'd like to believe. In fact, I'm rather bright, if I may say so myself."

"Arthur…"

"…"

"…"

"She is beautiful."

"She?"

"Then again, I think twat servants are more my type."

"Arthur..!"

"Merlin..!"

"Haven't you anything better to be doing with your mouth?"

"That reminds me."

"…"

FIN