CHAPTER 6 - Acceptance

"Derek.." Stiles said gently under a pile of Derek.

"What? I'm sleeping." he slurred.

"And I can't move or breathe..."

"Why?" Derek opened his eyes now, he was all over Stiles.

"Not that I don't like to be here but I would like to breathe and get my arm back."

Derek moved away slowly so Stiles could get all of his limbs back, as soon as he did that, Derek pulled him back next to him and closed his eyes.

"Derek.." Stiles started again

"What? I'm sleeping."

"Um..."

"Can you breathe?"

"Yes."

"Are you comfy?"

"Yes..."

"Then shut the fuck up Stiles."

Stiles wasn't sleepy any more, he was too active and getting fidgety so he had to get out. Luckily he knew the best way. Stiles turned around so he was facing Derek, he placed his hands on his chest. Stiles waited for a second, until he felt the skin beneath him burn and then started to move his hands slowly down.

"Your hands are moving into a dangerous area?"

"I wish I had somebody who would pay me enough attention so I wouldn't have to do something so dangerous." with the last word he reached Derek's boxers. That was also the same time Derek grabbed both of his hands and with one swift movement moved on top of Stiles. Derek hold his hands above his head and started to kiss his neck. "You do know you should not mess with a sleepy wolf." He said between kisses.

"All I know is that wolf has a lot of making up to do. I'm sure that there is something left for this morning." Stiles tried another tactic and it worked.

"Well, if I must..." Derek said mockingly and kissed him, all traces of sleep gone.

After a proper make out session that lasted longer than either of them planned or hoped, Stiles needed to call his Dad. He has said that he's home when he clearly isn't and out with some friends when he again, isn't. Sadly dad is always working to even properly check on him.

„Hi dad! Yeah I left home last night, I waited for you but you stayed late again." Stiles lied to his phone "I'll be back in the morning." He lied again.

"I know, we keep missing each other… but I'm not the one who is working so many extra hours." Stiles hated to bring this up but didn't have a choice.

„I can stop by at the station if you want… „ Stiles bluffed hoping it would work and it did „ It's okay Dad. See you tomorrow night then, hopefully." He ended his call with a sad smile.

Derek was suddenly behind him „You don't have to stay here, and I don't want you to lie to your dad because of me."

„You shouldn't eavesdrop" Stiles stared Derek and put his phone nervously back into his pocket. „ And don't worry it's fine."

„Liar."

„Yeah.." Stiles agreed „I am."

Derek couldn't bare to see Stiles like this „You should have lunch with him"

„No, really. It's okay"

Derek raised an eyebrow.

Stiles sighed „It will be fine."

„Yeah it will, when you have lunch with him." Derek kept pushing.

Stiles wasn't sure if he should leave Derek alone. But two hours is nothing really, if he made it quick it would maybe take an hour. Derek saw his head in thinking mode and hoped that he would go. Not just because he wanted him to spend time with his dad, but because he needed some alone time.

Stiles finally said „Are you sure? I mean I'll be gone only an hour at most…"

„Yes, I'm sure." he nodded "I'm a grown man you know" he chuckled but Stiles didn't.

„If I come back and you are sulking or depressed again I will…"

Derek stepped quickly next to Stiles „You will what?"

„Um kill you?"

Derek chuckled „You will kill me, an alpha?"

„Yeah... totally." Seeing that Derek was amused by this he changed the threat „Or I will not let you touch me."

The wolf's smile was gone in a second and now Stiles was the one who was smiling. „Oh, look at that face." Stiles grinned now „Looks like somebody has a problem with that. Whose the big bad wolf now?" he was mocking him, happy that he had some power over him.

„That's not really amusing Stiles"

„It isn't, because I'm serious."

„You shouldn't threaten an alpha like that"

„An alpha definitely not." Stiles put his hand on Derek's chest „But my alpha… why not." Stiles wanted to smile but as soon as he touched his chest the moment was too intimate, too special, so he just stood there.

Derek touched the hand that was on his chest and they enjoyed the moment for a while. This moment was exactly what Derek felt. Him touching his heart and him accepting it and taking it in.

The lunch went great, his Dad was so happy to see him and so was Stiles. He was feeling so guilty about lying and some father son time was exactly what they needed. What was weird was that Stiles stopped at home for a second to change his clothes and when he started to go back to Derek's he felt… anxious. He couldn't understand why, they were quite close and acknowledging their feelings for each other. He felt like he was going on a date and that thought put his fidgety behaviour on a new level. His hands were sweating and his heartbeat was picking up speed. Funny thing was that he wasn't even close to Derek's place yet.

Stiles pulled over and took a breath. What's wrong with you? You have been living there for days and now you have a panic attack. It's just Derek... He chuckled to himself, laughing at himself really.

His phone vibrated and Stiles saw he got a text from Derek.

why you stopped?

Stiles looked around in the car and searched the familiar face in the surrounding forest – nothing, nobody. He texted back quickly.

how did you know?

Answer came quickly.

I heard u. are u ok?

„Heard me? What the fuck? How is that possible?" Stiles said to himself, his phone vibrated again.

did sth happen? are you ok?

„Jesus! Calm down." He said loudly, texting back. But before he could finish his phone rang, it was Derek.

„What happened? Why did your car stop?" Derek was serious and quick.

„Nothing happened. " Stiles wasn't sure what's going on.

„Why did you stop?" Derek was not satisfied with his answer.

Stiles didn't want to tell him the real reason but didn't want to lie either „Nothing, just ADD kicking up a notch." Stiles was happy that it was true, in a way.

„I'll be right there." and Derek ended the call.

"Derek? Derek!" Stiles just looked at the phone not really sure what happened. "Okay.. that was a bit weird..." He put his phone away and then somebody opened the car door so suddenly that Stiles screamed like he was murdered.

"Holy shit Derek!" Stiles tried to calm himself down. "How did you get here so fast?""

"I started running before I called you."

"What? Why? Is everything ok?"

Derek pointed to the passenger seat and made Stiles move to the seat. He sat in the driver's seat and turned to Stiles "Are you?

"Yes! What the fuck Derek?"

"You said that your ADD was..."

"Derek I am not a bubble, I have survived worse, much worse so calm the fuck down. I am fine."

Derek relaxed on the seat and placed his hands on the wheel. "Good." he started the car.

"That's it?" Stiles laughed because it was the old mysterious Derek again. "I get no explanation?"

Stiles thought that maybe his reason was the same as his so he admitted his previous feelings. Derek started the car and after an awkward, nervous minute for Stiles he found his courage once again.

"The reason why I stopped was because... I was getting... I mean I was really anxious." Stiles rubbed the back of his head, really not wanting to continue "I was anxious to see you. And that made my brain malfunction a bit so I stopped the car..."

Derek interrupted "I felt another werewolf near us."

Stiles face went red, the reasons were definitely not the same. He was more than embarrassed. On a brighter note it made Derek smile.

"But it is nice to know that I have that kind of an effect on you." Derek looked at Stiles, who was completely avoiding this interaction. "To be honest, I was anxious too."

Stiles looked at him now "You are just saying that"

Derek placed his hand on Stiles leg "Can't really lie to you, remember."

Stiles changed the subject "How do you know that the werewolf is our enemy."

Derek frowned, Stiles knows the answer "From his scent"

"How do you know it's not Scott?"

"Who's Scott?"

"Werewolf, kinda in your pack..."

"I should know when its my pack."

"How? Do you know his scent? You don't even know who he is."

"I ..." Derek started strongly but Stiles had a point.

"But werewolf is the only thing you kind of remember. Maybe your wolf senses are still intact." Stiles offered another theory.

"Yeah, maybe." he nodded "When are they coming back?"

"The others? Some time tomorrow."

"Okay."

"You afraid?" Stiles said noticing Derek's white knuckles on the wheel.

"A little bit. I am not, who I should be for them. Not yet."

Stiles nodded understanding but inside he was jumping from joy, Derek admitted something he would never admit or discuss.

Derek still saw a faint blush on Stiles, so he thought that this is the time to come clean.

"I was anxious... Like you."

Stiles groaned thinking he was just making him feel better for blurting out before "Please don't." He was still embarrassed and didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Just in case he will say too much again and die in embarrassment all over again. But Derek continued.

"I kind off freaked out... Wasn't sure If you were coming back." he said pressing his lips together

"What do you mean if I was coming back?"

"I felt lonely after I sorted all my thoughts... So my mind was giving me some... bad images, thoughts. Every time I relaxed or closed my eyes I saw and felt something terrible."

"The spell did that?" Stiles was getting annoyed by this spell.

"I think so, because it came so sudden and I felt my whole body fixated at any given thought."
Stiles was interested what thoughts he had, he asked as smoothly as possible. "So you were having thoughts that I would not come back?"

Derek sighed a deep sigh that made Stiles regret he asked "That was one of many."

"I was away for an hour" he checked his watch "hour and a half-ish. You couldn't have that many."

"Enough to ..." and Derek stopped because he didn't want to finish.

Stiles understood "What did the spell made you think about?" he asked again knowing that he needed to talk about it.

"At first it was your death, I am almost used to that idea..."

"What?" Stiles made the interruption so theatrical that he rolled his eyes.

"Not your actual death... but the spells portrayal of it. Anyway that didn't threw me off, at first. Things like rejection, your dad dying, you leaving me for no reason, then the reason was because I'm a werewolf, then it was you turning, you having an overdose, you.."

"Wow stop..." Stiles was baffled of the things he was listing so mundanely.

"I can't stop this shit will haunt me if I don't tell you."

"I know, let me help you. First, there is only one reason why I'm rejecting you or did anyway." he rolled his eyes "And you know it. If my dad dies it would be really bad but I wouldn't blame you or.."

"In my thoughts you were so heart broken and didn't want to live any more."

"That will not happen." Stiles said confidently "My dad has worked with so many suicide cases and promised to kill me all over again if I ever do that. What else?"

"You leaving me." Derek muttered. "Without the reason and then because I'm a werewolf"

"Hmm.. I will give you a reason, or at least be open to talk about it. Also the werewolf thing is kinda of a normal thing for me now, so that can't be a problem. Next."

Derek paused "It sounded like you are leaving me."

Stiles looked at him serious "I am not leaving you."

Derek nodded.

"Next..." Stiles was ready to move on.

"You turning."

"Well that's easy, I had an opportunity and I said no. I'm pretty sure..."

Derek interrupted "It's different. I turned you, because I wanted you to and you finally agreed."

"Oh..."Stiles wasn't sure "I don't know, what would I do in that situation."

"Stiles please don't make a joke now, I'm really freaked out by these thoughts and if anything, I need confirmation from you that these things will not happen" they reached his house and he stopped the car. "I have accepted almost every idea, knowing that there is no or small chance of happening. And you something like that?"

"I'm sorry but I don't want to lie. This is who I am. I really don't know what would I do in that situation."

Derek sighed and Stiles was in deep thought thinking of an answer.

After awhile Derek then turned to Stiles, took his hand in his and looked into his eyes. He looked as sincere as he could "Stiles, I love you very much."

Stiles was not moving but his eyes were darting in every direction, he whispered "What's happening?"

Derek squeezed his hand and started again "I love you, Stiles!"

Stiles looked confused and scared "Um.."

He continued "But it is my deepest wish that I can turn you into a werewolf." he paused "Stiles I'm offering you the bite. I want you to become a werewolf like me."

Stiles understood now, he really thought about it and answered "No. I'm sorry but no."

"Oh thank god" Derek took his hands away "I was getting worried you would say otherwise"

Stiles still sure in his answer wanted to know "Would you do it. Not now but if I asked you, begged you to"

Derek hated that he was being honest right now"Not right away but yes, probably"

Stiles just nodded and moved on "Was the last one overdose?"

"Not the last but yes."

"I have thought about it, to be honest."

Derek was holding the steering wheel and his knuckles were getting white. "You just said that suicide is not on your to do list, ever"

"It isn't, but drug addiction is something that is highly likely, when it comes to me. I have done my research. I'm not saying I will overdose but it is a possibility" seeing that it is not helping Derek he added "My mind is constantly working and buzzing, if I could numb that process down just a bit, I would. The medication I have now doesn't do the trick."

"You asked your doctor?" Derek asked hopefully.

"Nope. I tried it. Took a bunch of pills, made things worse and got killer headaches."

Derek stepped out of the car "I need some fresh air."

Stiles did the same and tried to explain "I'm not saying that I am searching for drugs. I'm saying that if my medication does what I want, I will take a double dose."

"I'll keep in mind, to beat your ass if you are a little too dopey"

"Deal, Anything else?"

"No, you are making it worse." Derek rubbed the back of his neck.

"Sorry..."

"Don't be sorry for being honest. I do want to know. Everything but after this spell thing."

"Oh so you are confident that you will pass?" Stiles had a smug face.

"When I close my eyes I see you cutting your wrists. And look at me, I am fine. At least I think I am."

"I can see that you are. But just so you know and you actually know this that blood freaks me out so I will never do that. Like never, I will probably pass out before I get to it."

Derek smiled "Thanks." he walked over to Stiles "I don't care about the spell. I mean I do but its okay if I fail, I feel a lot better and I could spend time with you which was apparently not okay before the spell. So I'm good either way."

"Who the fuck are you?" Stiles said grinning

"I still have doubts and anger and fears but I control them, not the other way around."

"I see you speak those words but I am not believing that Derek Hale is saying them"

"Derek 2.0 might." he smiled and grabbed Stiles shirt to pull him closer.

Stiles laughed and just pressed himself against him "Yeah, he might" and kissed the wolf.

"Do you want to stop?" Derek asked pulling away from his lips for a second.

Stiles chuckled "No. Do you?" With that Stiles moved one of his hands under Derek's shirt.

Derek laughed "I f you put it like that, no."

Stiles stopped and looked at Derek.

"Actually, would you mind if we go to the waterfall again."

Stiles frowned but then shrugged "Sure let's go. Why?"

"It really cleared everything up and I want to do it again. By the way, how did you plan that whole thing? How did you know I would take that bet or even jump?"

"A lot of research and shit loads of luck." Stiles sighed "The key was to make you jump, to get adrenalin pumping, but you would have never done it for fun, not in that mood so the plan was to trick you. The original plan was to fake fall and you would have to jump after and rescue me, but thank god you brought up the bet."

"I would have jumped if you fell. " Derek wanted to let him know.

"Thanks. We can go but I'm not sure if I want to jump."

"Want to make a bet?" Derek grinned and got back into the car with Stiles.

They were getting to bed after a long exhausting day. Stiles did jump, after a little make out session in the car, but promised to never do it again. Derek wasn't so sure about that. The other werewolf, they guessed, was just somebody passing by. Derek did a mandatory run and found nothing, absolutely nothing. Stiles even suspected that the spell had something to do with that. This was the first time when they got to bed and just fell asleep. They weren't even spooning, just star fishing the shit out of that bed.

Few hours later Stiles woke up, he had a weird dream and didn't really want to fall back to sleep so soon. He just stared at Derek, realising after a minute how creepy it was he looked away. As soon as he did, Derek changed his starfish pose by turning his back on Stiles. Then he saw it, the tattoo. He almost forget it.

Stiles saw his last stripe turn into a circle. And then one by one the circles disappeared. By the end of it Stiles eyes were watery. Not sure if it was from happiness or sadness. It seemed that everything has come to an end. He knew that there was a huge possibility that Derek will forget everything what has happened in a past few days. After thinking long and hard he decided that the best thing to do is go home. No need to surprise an angry alpha in the morning. If he has any questions he can feel my scent all over the place and could call me. He waited for a while to make sure he was fast asleep and the grabbed his stuff and went home. Regretting it by the time he closed the bedroom door.

Stiles woke up. He heard someone knocking downstairs. He jumped quickly out of the bed and checked the window. It was Derek. Correction, it was an angry Derek. Stiles felt his heart sink and turning into a giant butterfly in his stomach. He couldn't move.

"I know you are in there. Let me in or I'll break the door down." Derek yelled.

Stiles put some clothes on and when he turned around he was already there. Derek closed the bedroom door and stared at him.

"You couldn't wait for a second?" Stiles yelled "I was coming." he then quieted down seeing the intensity in Derek's face. "So... what's up?" he asked awkwardly, getting really fidgety.

Derek raised his eyebrows "What's up?" he looked at Stiles angry now "Whats up?! How about sorry I sneaked out in the middle of the night. Sorry I made you worry..."

Stiles couldn't say a word. It was Derek alright. But did he remember ?

Derek took a few step closer so Stiles was against the wall and had nowhere to escape. "I remember everything." He then closed the space between them by kissing him passionately.

The End

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