Dear Fanfiction Writers,

For the sake of deduction and higher reasoning! I am not in love with John, Molly, Anderson, Donovan, Lestrade, Mycroft, Moriarty or Sebastian Moran, nor have I ever had sexual feelings towards any of them. I admit that for a moment I was attracted to Irene Adler, but it was only a moment! Afterwards I realized that there is only one thing that matters above all, and that is the case-everything else would slow me down!

Also, no my father was not abusive towards me, and I am perfectly happy in the way I am. I do not need a supposed OC to help me realize the errors of my ways and make me better!

It is my opinion that all of you out there need to get better.

I also don't have a particular love for cream puffs or strawberry ice-cream.

But I'm telling this to a community of people who have a seventy-three chapter story of me and Moriarty magically turned into toddlers.

Signed, Sherlock Holmes.

PS: Seriously, Mycroft?! Even if I was interested in a relationship, WHICH I AM NOT! I would certainly have higher standards than Mycroft.