The Transformers Prime Independence Day Special

*BOOM BOOM*

"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!" Ultra Magnus yelled.

He brandished his guns and ran outside the base, expecting explosions. Indeed, there were explosions occurring over the military base. Magnus frantically scanned the skies for their attackers.

"Ultra Magnus," Optimus Prime said as he placed a hand on his lieutenant's giant shoulder, "There is nothing to worry about. It is only the Independence Day."

"What?"

"Every year on the Fourth of July, the people of this country celebrate the right of all sentient beings."

"… Freedom."

"Correct."

"But why do the humans celebrate using explosive devices? I don't understand."

"They're called fireworks," Raf said as he and Bumblebee walked up to the duo, "We just use them because they make the celebration more awesome."

Ultra Magnus was about to respond when he noticed something off about Bumblebee. "Soldier, what is that… thing growing out of your head?"

Bumblebee gave Magnus a surprised look and pointed to the pointy thing on his head. "Beep ba boop beep?" Oh this thing? "Boop beep beep." It's a party hat, sir.

Ultra Magnus raised a browplate. "A party hat?"

"You bet." Wheeljack said as he came up behind Magnus. Magnus turned around to face the rouge Wrecker but jumped back in surprise when Wheeljack blew a Transformer- sized streamer in his face.

"Soldier! Explain yourself!"

"Ha, just having a bit of fun."

Ultra Magnus groaned in frustration. "I can't deal with this."

"Actually, you will have to deal with it." Optimus said.

"What? Why?"

"Because you're in charge of the situation right now."

"Since when?"

"Since Prime's don't party." And with that Optimus transformed and drove off into the distance.

Ultra Magnus stared slack jawed at what he believed was Optimus refusing to take responsibility, but was brought back to reality when Wheeljack snapped his fingers in his face a couple times.

"Hey Magnus, you alright up there?"

"Um, yeah." More fireworks went off. Magnus eyed them suspiciously. "So, how does this work?"

"Beep beep ba be boop." We're setting up the party in the back of the base with the kids. C'mon, we'll show you.

Ultra Magnus, Wheeljack, Bumblebee, and Raf made their way to the back of the base…

And then Miko jumped out from one of the side doors fully decked out in party gear, complete with sparklers.

It was the sparklers that made Ultra Magnus flip out. "DYNAMITE! LOOK OUT!" Magnus then pulled out Jack's fire extinguisher out of nowhere and sprayed down Miko. The sparklers went out and Miko was left covered in cold foam.

Ultra Magnus gave a relieved sigh. "Crisis averted."

"What was that for?!" Miko demanded.

"You were carrying two lit explosive devices in your hands." Magnus deadpanned.

"No, those were sparklers. SPARKLERS! Prestige ones, too!"

"My apologies, then. Allow me to- okay, what the scrap is that?"

Everyone looked at whatever had caught Magnus' attention. At the far end of the base Jack, Smokescreen, and Bulkhead were tying up a flag to a HUGE fifteen- foot firework rocket with a long rope. Ratchet and Arcee were both keeping a close eye on the trio.

"What is this?" Ultra Magnus asked.

"Sir, it's a firework, sir." Smokescreen answered with a salute.

"What's with the flag?"

"Check it out!" Smokescreen held up the flag for Magnus to see. On it were three words: Go Team Prime!

Magnus eyed the rocket with suspicion. "Are fireworks normally this big?"

"Nope," Fowler said as he exited his office, a cup of coffee in hand, "That there is a special custom- built firework rocket that I ordered for this occasion."

"And just how big are normal fireworks?"

"About this long." Jack said as he made a two foot gap with his hands.

Ultra Magnus stared at Jack. Then he looked at the rocket. "By Primus, I will not allow that thing to be launched!"

"Huh? Why not?" Bulkhead asked.

"The normal fireworks are big and loud enough as it is! If that missile is launched, it could destroy the whole base!"

"Or it could just give all of us a minor headache." Arcee deadpanned.

"Really Magnus, I think you're overreacting, even more than usual." Ratchet said.

At that point everything went downhill.

"Step away from the rocket!"

"Never!"

"Everyone just calm down!"

"That's a big twinkie!"

"Gimme dat rocket!"

"Whoa! PUT THE GUN DOWN!"

"NO YOU!"

"YOU!"

"I have an axe!"

"SHUT UP MIKO!"

"You all need an asskicking!"

"Look out!"

"RABLABLABLA!"

"Nooooooooo!"

"Doh! I spilled my coffee!"

During the chaos somehow nobody noticed two crucial things. The first thing being that Ultra Magnus had accidently placed his foot in the coils of the rocket's rope. The second thing was that a spark that was kicked up from one of the Autobot's feet had ignited the fuse. Said fuse only had a foot until launch.

"Optimus Prime put ME in charge while he's gone! ME!" Ultra Magnus announced, shutting everyone up and gaining their attention. "This is insubordination! Mutiny! And do want to know what else? I-"

A jet of flame burst out from the butt end of the giant firework, sending it flying upwards and crashing through the roof. The Autobots and humans stared in shock at the abrupt launch.

And then Ultra Magnus realized just exactly where he was standing.

"Oh scrap." The coils tightened around Magnus' leg, and pulled him upwards through the hole in the roof. "AAAAAAAHHHHH!"

The other Autobots and humans quickly ran to the entrance to get a good look outside. They saw the rocket flying up into the sky, arcing slightly, with the flailing form of Ultra Magnus trailing behind it. They could hear his voice.

"III CAAANNN'T DEEEAAAL WIIITH TIIISSS!"

*BOOOOOOOOM*

The sky was filled with a brilliant explosion of rainbow colors that could be seen a hundred miles away.

Everybody stared in horror at what just happened, dreading the chewing out they would get from Magnus later on.

Except for Wheeljack, who was busy chugging an energon cube. When he was finished, he set the cube down, looked back up at the fireworks, and smiled. "Primus bless the USA."

Meanwhile, a few miles away…

Optimus took notice of the exceptionally large firework explosion. "How beautiful." He commented. That's when he noticed something odd, and narrowed his optics.

Something was flying away from the fireworks in Optimus' direction, arcing slightly through the air and trailed by black smoke. As it neared him, Optimus noticed that that something looked very similar to a certain mech he knew…

Ultra Magnus landed face first in the dirt and skidded to a halt right at Optimus' feet. Smoke drifted from his body and the shredded Go Team Prime! flag was wrapped around him.

Ultra Magnus made the effort to raise his head and gave Optimus a flat look. After a few seconds of silence, Magnus spoke. "Celebrate the right of all sentient beings? …MY AFT!" And then his face became one with the earth again.

Optimus facepalmed. "Can't we go just one holiday without some form of shenanigans?"

The End