(minor corrections/clarifications 4th July, 2013)

Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling. I do not own Harry Potter.

Note: The following piece is alternate universe and assumes that during the 1994-1995 school year at Hogwarts, Voldemort's agent in the school managed to confuse the Goblet of Fire over the selection of champions rather more successfully than he intended...

Further Note: This piece is identified as 'humour'. It occurred to me in snatches between rewrites and rewrites of rewrites of scenes of chapter seven of 'Alternate Scene by the Lake 4' (to be posted to its own respective story before the end of July 2013, once the last polishing and inserting of linking scenes in that piece is done). Whilst this story is posted as a one-shot, it's conceivable, if interest is high enough, that I might take it up to the end of the tournament. Otherwise, the end of the first task is as far as I intend to take it.

"And the champion for Durmstrang is," Albus Dumbledore snatched a piece of paper deftly from the air, "Mr. Harry Potter."

A dead silence and air of distinct confusion and puzzlement settled over the great hall, which deepened as 'Viktor Krum' was announced as the champion for Beauxbatons, and 'Fleur Delacour' as the champion for Hogwarts.

"Ah." the Hogwarts headmaster said at last. "It is entirely possible that the goblet has taken it upon itself to arrange this tournament as a matter truly of inter-school co-operation. In which spirit, if the champions would like to follow me…"

And then the goblet spat again, ejecting the name 'Cedric Diggory'.

At this point, Albus Dumbledore waved his wand at the goblet and very firmly quenched the fires before any more names could be ejected.

There was considerably more fuss made over Cedric Diggory being nominated as a fourth champion – even though the three participating schools had already had champions allotted by that point – than over Harry Potter being in the competition despite Harry's being underage and his declarations that he hadn't actually submitted his own name. (It was assumed, if any foul play had been involved at all regarding Harry, that someone from Durmstrang had entered Harry's name in the hope of 'poaching' him for their school, although the goblet not being in proper working order after so many years of disuse was also considered a likely explanation.)

And in any case, on the count of his school's champion, although the headmaster of Durmstrang had expressed some initial reservations about the goblet's choice, once he had interviewed Harry regarding his achievements and discovered that they included incidences of slaying a basilisk and of driving off dozens of dementors, he pronounced himself perfectly satisfied.

There was some discussion over where the champions should take their lessons, but it was decided, in the end, that for the duration of the tournament they would take classes and reside with the school to which they had been assigned as champion.

Someone entrepreneurial in Slytherin started producing badges which bore the legend 'Support Fleur Delacour – the TRUE Hogwarts champion'. These proved quite popular amongst Hogwarts pupils – even amongst Cedric Diggory's fellow housemates, who made it clear what they thought of a fellow 'badger' who had so obviously cheated his way into a tournament supposed to be only for three champions. The Hogwarts champion, Fleur Delacour, was diplomatically silent in public about Cedric Diggory. Even without her saying anything one way or another about him, older Hogwarts pupils tended to take her side, not least because of how gorgeous she looked.

Shortly after the weighing of wands ceremony, the Daily Prophet ran an article about Cedric Diggory, which questioned whether he was in fact a dark wizard in the making? His 'unsportsmanlike behaviour' of a year earlier when he had 'taken advantage of the sudden incapacity of Harry Potter during a dementor invasion of a quidditch game to catch the snitch' was a prominent feature. A follow-up article hinted that Cedric's subsequent public offer of a rematch had been only a publicity stunt to try and shake off accusations of unfair play – that he had made the offer having already blackmailed or cursed Oliver Wood in advance so that his Gryffindor counterpart would decline it.

Some of the Hufflepuffs wearing 'Support Fleur Delacour' badges started charming them so that they intermittently displayed an alternate message of 'Diggory's a disgraceful cheat'.

The first task was dragons – specifically retrieving a golden egg from a nesting mother.

Fleur Delacour went first, against a Swedish short-snout.

She transfigured for herself a broom, charmed it to fly, and wove backwards and forwards through the air in a hypnotic pattern, singing, and lulling the dragon to sleep.

Then she dropped down into the nest, collected the egg, and flew out again over the slumbering dragon to the applause of the spectators.

Next up was Viktor Krum, against a Welsh green.

Viktor apparated and ran around the arena, firing off spells to get its attention, until his dragon was so confused and dizzy that it toppled over sideways and collapsed in a heap. After which it was mere child's play for Viktor to walk in and retrieve his assigned egg.

Then it was Harry Potter against a Chinese fireball.

Harry Potter transfigured for himself a huge shield, like that of a latter day Roman legionary, and advanced behind his shield, until he was just out of reach of the dragon. Then, in between the blasts of flame sent in his direction, he popped out from behind his cover to wrap more and more conjured chains about the dragon until it could scarcely move.

Harry walked out with his egg, throwing a 'salute' to the judges as he did so, which had the crowd on their feet.

Cedric Diggory was something of an anti-climax.

His attempt to transfigure a dog from a rock proved a minimal distraction to a dragon of the viciousness and disposition of the Hungarian horntail which he faced, and he failed to get anywhere near the egg he was supposed to retrieve.

The judges pondered, whilst Cedric was removed for treatment for broken bones and heavy burns, and concluded Mr. Diggory would have to face the next task without the benefit of the chance to decipher the clue which the egg he had failed to retrieve would have offered him.

The newspapers for the few days after the first task were full of stories about the magnificent performances of the three 'real' champions, and how Cedric had demonstrated that cheats did not always prosper. Opinion in the press seemed to be that Cedric's performance demonstrated that there was no way that the goblet would have selected him as a champion, had he relied on purely 'honest' means to get himself into the contest.

Still, Cedric's performance had apparently earned him the sympathy of his girl-friend, Cho Chang, with whom he was now once again a going concern, who had looked on in horror during the task as the horntail had dispatched the dog and then swiftly turned to exhale a torrent of fire all over Cedric. Only rapid action by the dragon-handlers had saved Cedric Diggory from falling prey to the claws and teeth of the horntail. Cho Chang was Cedric's most frequent (and in fact only) well-wisher during his stay in the infirmary, recovering.

Author Notes:

This story came out of a notion of 'what if?' the Goblet of Fire was pre-set to declare champions in the order of Durmstrang/Beauxbatons/Hogwarts, and in adding Harry's name to the goblet and ensuring that Harry's name would come out, Voldemort's agent inadvertently put Harry at the head of the order, and bumped those who would have otherwise been selected down 'one place'.

The different approaches the three 'official' champions take to those of their canon counterparts are partly results of their being switched to different schools, with curriculums and heads who want to suddenly broaden their horizons. Fleur is introduced to the quidditch-mad environment of Hogwarts (with access to the ostensibly skilled transfiguration teacher Minerva McGonagall) and figures out a way to involve a broomstick and appeal to her supporters. Viktor Krum is suddenly playing for a school with a lot of very attractive girls, who want to see him display his athleticism and maneuverability so he duly obliges. Harry Potter has the support of a headmaster (prepared to cheat and give support/advice) who figures out that despite his relatively tender years, Harry is good with physical confrontations, and works out a method (since he wants Harry to perform well) for Harry to play to that.

Cedric, of course, (exposed to the sort of fickleness of supporters and accusations of dark-magic/cheating that canon Harry usually gets) is left facing the most vicious dragon, against which his transfigure a rock into a dog trick proves inadequate...

As noted, this story is (as of July 2013) intended as a one-shot.