Chapter 1: The Misadventure Begins

All I wanted to do was just go on a walk.

I have a rather enjoyable routine in the morning. I get up, get dressed, check my email, go downstairs and talk to my mom for a little bit, and then go for a walk along Route 1. I like to admire the Pidgeys singing and play with the Rattatta. This pastime has gone undisturbed for the past five years. That is, until the day after my tenth birthday.

I was about to step onto the path leading to Route 1, right outside of Pallet Town, when all of a sudden, he came up behind me.

"Why hello there, Red."

I turned around to see an old man behind me. He wore a lab coat, so I figured he must be some kind of scientist. But I don't trust scientists. And this guy staring me down with a creepy grin was reinforcing that mistrust.

"...Do I know you?" I ask uncertainly.

The old man laughed. "Why, I'm Oak, the pokemon professor!"

I nodded slowly and uncertainly. "...Ok, cool."

I turned back to the path and was about to proceed, but I felt a hand hold me back.

"Wait, you can't go! Wild pokemon will attack you!"

I couldn't help but scoff. "What are you talking about, I walk this way all the time."

Oak didn't listen.

"Come with me. You need a pokemon to protect yourself."

This piqued my interest. A pokemon? I always wanted one, but I wasn't old enough until now. And this guy was offering to give me a free one. It looked like today was my lucky day.

I followed Oak back to the lab, and when he led me in, the first thing I noticed was that there was another kid already there, waiting beside a table with three pokeballs resting on it, arms crossed.

"Red, this is my grandson," Oak said. "Er..."

"... You seriously don't remember my name?" the boy glowered.

"Of course I do, its... um...uh..."

I felt a little awkward just standing there while the professor was just standing there trying to remember the name of his own grandson.

"...Gary?" Oak guessed.

"No."

"Shigeru?"

"No."

"...Betty?"

"Green!" the boy shouted. "My name is Green!"

"Oh, I remember now!" Oak exclaimed, snapping his fingers. "It's Obidiah, isn't it?"

I noticed Green's left eye twitching. "Just give me my pokemon, Gramps."

"Now, now, be paitent Tony," Oak said. "Red gets to go first."

Green looked over at me in disbelief, as if he just noticed I was in the room. Jerk.

"Why him?"

Oak glanced at Green in confusion. "Who are you again?"

Green growled in frustration. "Fine, go on ahead, Red is it?"

I nodded and walked over to the table. In front of each pokeball, there was a name and description. Luckily, the tops of the pokeballs were transparent when one was close enough to them, so I could get a better idea of which one I wanted. I started with a pokemon that looked like a dinosaur and had a green bulb on its back.

Bulbasaur, the Seed pokemon

I looked over at the next ball, which had a small blue turtle in it.

Squirtle, the Tiny Turtle pokemon

Finally, I looked over at the last ball, which held a bipedal orange lizard with a flame at the end of its tail.

Charmander, the Lizard pokemon

"Can I have all of them?" I asked.

They all looked like really good pokemon, plus having all three on my team can help me out in spots that require a type advantage.

"No, I'm afraid you can only choose one," Oak said.

Dang it.

Well, time to do this the old fashioned way.

"Eienie, meeney, miney, moe," I said in a singsong manner as I moved my pointer finger back and forth. "Catch a Persian, by its toe. If it hollers, let it go. My mom says to pick the very best one and you. Are. It."

My finger lands on the first pokemon, Bulbasaur. I pick up the pokeball and show it to Professor Oak.

"Ah, good choice Red!" he exclaimed excitedly. "Now its your turn, Fabio."

Green rolled his eyes and walked over to the table and studied the remaining two options.

"Which one's more complicated to train?" he asked no one in particular.

"Hmm," Oak pondered. "Well, they both have their advantages and disadvantages, but Charmander's potential may take the longest to unlock."

Green shrugged and grabbed Charmander's pokeball.

"I like a good challenge."

"In that case, how would you like to have a quick battle?" I challenged, eager to test out Bulbasaur's strength.

Green laughed. "I have a type advantage, you dolt. You'd surely lose."

Red shrugged. "It's not like they know any moves other than scratch, tackle and leer. Right, doc?"

"Um..." Oak hesitated.

That didn't sound good.

Oh well, I'm about to have my first pokemon battle! How awesome is that?

I grinned and tipped my baseball cap as a sign of respect to my foe. Then, I readied the pokeball.

"Bulbasaur, go!"

I launched the pokeball into the air, and out came Bulbasaur, looking around in curiosity. Must've been his first time out of the ball in the lab.

Green smirked. "Charmander!"

He threw his own ball, and in a flash of light, Charmander was out, looking just as curious as Bulbasaur.

"Bulbasaur, use tackle!"

"Charmander, scratch!"

The pokemon gave confused looks at us, then faced eachother.

"Saur?"

Charmander shrugged. "Char."

I raised an eyebrow. Where they talking to eachother?

Then, before I knew it, I felt my waist tighten. I look down to see vines wrapped around me, leading back to a smirking Bulbasaur.

It was using vine whip on me!

I looked over to see Green laughing. Then, to my satisfaction, Charmander turned on him and spat a stream of flame at him, leaving him singed.

To say Green looked ticked was an understatement.

"Why you little-" Green growled.

Charmander laughed as Green started chasing the Lizard pokemon around the lab. I started laughing then, but my laughter turned to shouts of pain as Bulbasaur started to bang me against the ground with his vines.

"Ow! Stop it! Let me-ow-go!"

I could hear Oak laughing as I kept going up and down, face first into the marble floor repeatedly.

"And what-ow-is so-ow- funny-ow!?" I grunted in annoyance.

"It looks like these pokemon will need to take longer to get used to you than I thought," he gasped. "Oh, that reminds me!"

I heard him scamper off to the back of the lab. Bulbasaur stopped beating me and looked over to see what the professor was doing. I took this opprotunity to reach for Bulbasaur's pokeball.

"Bulbasaur, return!"

A red laser came from the pokeball, hit Bulbasaur, and took him (I think its a him), back with it into the pokeball. I landed with a thud on the ground and looked up to see Green still chasing his pokemon.

"Come back here you traitor!" Green spat.

Charmander stuck its toungue out at its trainer, and at that moment it looked like Green gained some common sense, because he got out his pokeball and simply had Charmander return to it. To my suprise, he began chuckling.

"These little guys sure are a handful," Green said.

"Hopefully they'll be easier once they're out to see the world and meet other pokemon," I suggested.

Just then, I heard a door crash open and Green and I turn our heads to see Oak stepping over the broken down door, holding two strange devices.

"This is the pokedex, my personal invention!" Oak said with excitement. "I made it to record an encyclopedia of every pokemon in the region."

I gave Oak a skeptical look. "Only in the region? You mean you made a pokedex that can only record 149 pokemon?"

"Yeah," Green agreed. "Shouldn't you have made a pokedex to accomodate the pokemon in other regions like Johto and Hoenn as well?"

"...Shut up and take them."

I shrugged and took a device. Green did the same.

Oak sighed. "To complete the pokedex. That was my dream when I was younger. But I've grown much to old."

"You look like you're only in your mid-fifties," I pointed out.

Oak ignored me. "That's why I need you two to go across the Kanto region and gather as much pokemon information as you can, preferably through capturing them."

I looked over at Green, who looked absolutely bewildered.

"So, let me get this straight," Green started. "You're going to send out two ten year old boys into the wild, with nothing except our starter pokemon and the clothes on our back, to capture every wild pokemon in the region with powers that could easily kill us, instead of sending the more mature and experienced adult assistants of yours to accomplish this?!"

I looked around the lab to see Oak's said assistants looking sheepish and shuffling their feet.

"Yep." Oak replied shamelessly.

I noticed that the twitch in Green's eye was back.

"Are you even going to supply us with pokeballs?" Green breathed venomously.

His grandfather merely laughed.

"No, silly Marth. That would be smart. You'll just have to get some in Viridian City."

Green growled in frustration and stomped towards the door.

"Fine! I don't need you to hold my hand anyway! Smell ya later, Gramps!"

And with a slam of the door, I was left in the lab with the pokemon professor. I shuffled my feet.

"So... how long is the walk to Viridian?" I asked, desperate to break the silence.

"Until nightfall," Oak said nonchalantly.

I glared at the pokemon professor, then sighed and went out the door.

"I despise you," I muttered under my breath as I walked off to take care of a few things before I left.

My journey has begun. Arceus help me.

A/N: And so, Red's story begins! This is intended to be a parody that incorporates elements mostly from the games and the manga (such as pokemon teams), but also some elements from the anime. Also, I just want to make it clear that I do NOT hate Professor Oak. There's just alot of character quirks from the games and other sources that I can't ignore and just have to exaggerate, such as his tendency to forget his grandson's name every few seconds (come on, a man asking you to name his grandson for him is just asking for this) :)

Will Red succeed in his journey? Who will he meet and what pokemon will he encounter next?

Read and review to find out!