First three chapters I'd say qualify as T, but I believe chapter 4 had some contend that might qualify as M. To be safe I upped the rating for this story.

This story is a sequel to Seal of Trust. You don't have to read that one to be able to read this one however. I think the vital points of that story are sufficiently re-instated here in this chapter.
For your pleasure however you may still choose to read that story. Let me warn you though that Seal of Trust is rated M because it pretty pornographic.

The box Spock had been holding slipped out of his hand rather than that he actually put it down. Standing with his back against a wall in his quarters he dug his nails in the cloth covering his outer-thighs. There was a slight stinging sensation in his eyes.

Spock was perfectly aware that he needed mediation to regulate his emotions, tune them down to a more acceptable level. However he had told Jim he would be back swiftly. Neglecting to do so would reflect negatively on their friendship and it was better to have Jim's friendship than to have nothing.

"I'm in control of my emotions," Spock spoke to himself, as if it would have more effect that way. Right after that he banged his fists to the wall his shoulders shocked and a sob escaped his throat.

This wasn't supposed to happen. Getting emotional. Getting hurt. Having sex with Jim. Melding with Jim. Seeing a promise of a wholesome future in Jim and then finding out he had been deceived.

"...Control of my emotions," he attempted vainly one more time before he stumbled over to his desk to sit down so that he wouldn't collapse on the spot. He had to cease this immediately! Experiencing an emotional break-down wouldn't only be a very shameful and unfavorable turn of events, it might also last even longer than it would have taken to meditate. He couldn't let Jim down. Jim's friendship was important. Jim had hurt him though, but Jim hadn't meant to. Jim had been foolish.

He brushed his hand over the edge of the desk. Days before he had lain there naked, vulnerable, giving himself to Jim. He should have known better! Jim should have known better! Jim was the captain of this Starship, he should know better than to have intercourse with subordinate officers.

No, it was incorrect to put all the blame on Jim. Spock himself had yielded to it and originally not even to make Jim his bondmate. Besides it had been Spock himself who had chosen to meld with Jim. Spock held at least equal blame for his state of mind right at that moment. Actually he held more blame as he was allowing his emotions to overwhelm him. Why was he being so emotional about this ordeal to begin with? For it was a fact that it was not something that could not be dealt with and solved.

Had it been his longing for a full bonding that had been much stronger than he had before realized that had caused this? Had it been suppressed thoughts about what would happen if his first Time would come? Had it been his loneliness? Or is it actually his body telling him that his Time is coming in the very near future and that he needs Jim?

Spock started trembling when that last thought surfaced in his mind. With what had just taken place, he was fairly sure Jim wasn't up for a long time commitment and this was a commitment for life. However, a connection existed between them. They cared for each other. They had performed intercourse. They had melded. If the fever where to hit and he hadn't found a sufficient mate... If it were to... If the situation would become that disastrous there was no way of guaranteeing that his body wouldn't act on its own and take Jim, with or without consent. He could hurt Jim! He could be a serious threat to Jim!*

Control yourself, Spock! You are not sure that his theory is indeed the had other theories which are equally logical explanations. You need to meditate on it, but now is not the time. Now you must simply reboot, go back to basics. Don't be a failure.

"I am an officer," he spoke. Good, you are an officer. What else? Spock breathed heavy and managed to stop a sob. But what if it was the correct theory? What if it was his oncoming pon farr that led him to his earlier interactions with Jim in the first place? "...An officer."

What if he would go predatory on Jim? He would hurt Jim. The poor Human would be traumatized for life, if he would live. And Spock would shame himself. His family. His people. Spock would be hated by Jim's people. They would think him a monster. He would be spit out by everyone. Just like when he was a child. Worse than when he was a child.

Stop! What else? He demanded of himself.

"My duty. My duty is...," he couldn't get himself to remember. "...is," he felt a hand reaching up to his face to cover it. Such a Human gesture. "My duty is to..." Jim. To serve and protect Jim. No, not Jim! Yes, Jim too, but... His duty is "to..." Jim. Jim! Jim! Jim!

Spock buried his face in his arms. He shouldn't have melded. Now it's already happened.

"Too late," Spock murmured into his arms. "I'm sorry."

He rubbed his head over his arms. It was comforting.

"To... Two... You... Me... Jim," Spock mumbled on.

[Elsewhere:]

About twenty minutes had passed since Spock left to get rid of his box of romance with the statement that he would be back shortly. Kirk was now almost sure that something was up and was worried. He unconsciously shook his head.

It seemed unlikely for Spock, but the pattern was there: Jim had slept with him, he had thought that it meant they were in a relationship, Jim had burst the bubble, Spock had asked questions that were basically more sophisticated forms of 'are you kidding me?', then found himself an excuse to leave and he hadn't come back. If it were anyone else Kirk would have bet his captaincy over the Enterprise that they were upset, and maybe crying somewhere. However this was Spock from Vulcan.

But what if Spock was sitting alone being upset somewhere? He was half Human too. And it had seemed to Kirk like there was a shimmer of some emotion in Spock's eyes. And wasn't there something about Vulcans actually feeling more intensely? What if he had lost control over his emotions? And...

Okay, so let's say that Spock is actually upset and may be tearing up somewhere right now, what to do about it?

Kirk cared about this man. In the past he had had Uhura to comfort him. Right now, he would be alone with no one to comfort him. Kirk hated that idea. If a friend of his was in need of anything that he could provide, he wanted to be there for them.

But what if his presence, his coming to comfort Spock, would create further confusion about their relationship status, and thus further hurt? Or what if Spock just didn't want him there? You know, it wasn't entirely strange to not want to see the person that upset you. Nor was it unlikely that a Vulcan, or a half-Vulcan, didn't want anybody in their presence when emotionally compromised.

Shit! He didn't know what to do. If only there was anybody he could ask.

Uhura! He could ask Uhura. She had been in a relationship with Spock for several months, if anyone knew, it was her. She would be mad as hell though. Their break-up had been the kind of 'we-still-care-for-each-other-deeply-but-our-relat ionship-is-no-longer-logical' kinda break-up. Shit.

Reluctantly Kirk reached over to his communicator.

"Captain," Uhura's voice came as a formal greeting.

"Hey, eh, Uhura, could you perhaps come to my quarters?" Kirk spoke.

"Oh my god, just because I'm no longer with Spock doesn't mean I will now suddenly-" Uhura sounded angry but firm.

"Oh, no, no, no! That would be completely unprofessional of me now, wouldn't it?" Kirk joked, hoping to ease the atmosphere a bit. If Uhura would come to his quarters already angry like a queen bee whose nest had just been kicked over, he estimated his chances of not waking up to Bones' grumbling voice after telling her about Spock to be very slim.

"No, ehe," Kirk sorta laughed nervously, "I just need to talk to you, about Spock actually. We could use a conference room if that would make you feel better about it?"

There was a moment of silence and Kirk was very aware of how he made a swallowing motion in anticipation of what Uhura would say. It wasn't that she hated him, not anymore at least, but she was a strong woman whose claws would come out if she got the feeling anybody treated her with less respect than she deserved. This of course didn't mean she was a downright bitch, most of the time she was actually kind and caring. Kirk knew that she even cared about him in her own way. However some of the events in their past prevented their relationship from being completely smooth. And honestly, Kirk didn't blame her. Even though some time ago he had made a vow to never go after her again, it probably still radiated off of him that he thought she was one hell of a woman. Which was exactly the reason he had played an unsuccessful game of cat and mouse with her back in the academy.

"Alright, I'll be over in a minute. But if you try anything, I will report you for sexual harassment."

Despite their regulation dresses being well, pretty revealing Starfleet did respect their women and for a captain such a report was not something to look forward to.

* I have begun writing a fanfiction that revolves around this situation, however at the moment I kind of put it aside. I am willing to continue, complete and upload it though, if there are enough people who would be pleased to read such a thing. So let me know if you are one of those people. Don't be mistaken however, that story will be dark and violent. It won't be cute.

On another note, as this story is much complexer than Seal of Trust I am considering working with one or several beta readers. If you are interested in that, please let me know about that as well!