disclaimer: I do not own the avengers but i wish i did.

30 rules of the Helicarrier

1.I am not allowed to surprise Dr. Banner and make him Hulk out.

2.I am not allowed to call Thor sparky thunder man.

3.I am not allowed to threaten Black Widow with RAID.

4.I am not allowed to put on an eyepatch and say "Arrgh! Me be Captain Nick Fury!"

5. Even if Director Fury laughs

6.I am not allowed to decorate Captain America's shield with glitter.

7. Even if it makes it 'prettier'.

8.I am not allowed to 'test' Tony's new suit.

9.I am not allowed to ask Jarvis personal questions about Tony Stark's socks.

10. Even especially if Jarvis tells me they are pink and sparkly.

11. I will not paint the interior of Loki's prison pink with flowers on it before(or after) he arrives.

12. I will not give Bruce Banner a pair of XXXXXL purple underwear labeled To: the other guy

13. I am not allowed to run down the halls with a red and gold trash can on my head screaming "I AM IRON CAN!"

14. I am not allowed to ask Black Widow about water spouts, rain, being washed out, or sun ever again.

15. bungee jumping off of the helicarrier is DEFINITELY NOT ALLOWED!

16. I am not allowed to serve food on Captain America's shield.

17. or ask how Bucky and Peggy are doing.

18. Under no circumstances will I introduce the Avengers to FanFiction

19. I am not allowed to ask Tony to 'put on the suit'. He will.

20. I am not allowed to call Hawkeye 'Birdy Arrow Man'

21. I will not suggest that the daughter of Hawkeye and Natasha would obviously be Merida.

22. Nor will I start singing 'Can You Feel the Love Tonight' when they walk into the room.

23. Hinting that Spiderman and Black Widow would make a good couple is a good way to get an arrow in the...umm

24. Enrolling Hulk in anger management classes is a bad call.

25.I will not attempt to bedazzle Thor's hammer.

his cape.

27. I am not allowed to threaten Thor with scissors and the promise of a new haircut.

28. I am not allowed to plug my hair dryer into the tesseract.

29. Stealing the male Avenger's shirts while they are showering is low and unprofessional.

30. I am not allowed to use this list as a checklist.

A/N: PM me if you don't get anything!