A/N: It has been a long damn time. This has mostly been written for two years, but life got funky and I could never finish it off. So, here we are. Melissa's slow return to writing again. I still own nothing, so at least one thing has remained constant!

And herein begins the M rating...

I danced myself up, I drunk myself down

Found people to love, left people to drown

I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall

If there was nowhere to land I wouldn't be scared at all

Falling - Florence + The Machine

Chapter 3: Chloe

His eyes were heavy as he gracefully cast his line into the water and let the float bobble on top as he waited for the catch of the day. They had been out here all morning and while their skin had darkened and their light clothing stuck to their bodies as the sun grew hot, there was no real rush to head back inside. Inside was awkward and filled with the tension from that morning's argument and Jesse was content to wait out here all day if it meant not being subjected to that mess.

He hated confrontation and as he dipped his stained baseball cap into the water and put it back onto his messy hair, he cast a sideways glance at Chloe. She was sitting on the dock and dipping her feet into the water while occasionally making small talk with Beca. She looked calm, almost at peace after everything. And for some reason, it made him angry.

He wanted to push her into the water.

It had been one of those Tuesday evenings that were becoming a tradition for the group. They would eat an early dinner, usually pizza or take-out from one of the little places in town, and then would get dressed up before climbing into the Jeep and heading to the bar. As the summer slowly faded away into the dog-days of July, the need for IDs had come and gone and the tiny pub had become a haven to escape from the sunburn and sweat. They would climb onto the ratty leather stools that were gathered around the worn bar and split a pitcher of beer while Joe kept them entertained with old stories and a constant supply of quarters for the jukebox.

He would dance with Beca and Aubrey when a slow song poured out of the old speakers, but never Chloe. She was content to nurse a cold bottle of beer or glass of whatever frilly drink had struck her fancy that week and just watch. A tiny, wistful frown would appear on her face and she would try to smile, but Jesse knew that it was bothering her. He could see it when she gulped down shots of vodka and stiffened, her body rigid as she leaned back against the bar and tried to tear her eyes away from that lithe body and laugh that rang out from across the crowded room. In the way that her eyes would seemingly be floating in pools of tears and how she would always tell Beca that she was fine. That it was okay. That she was just tired.

When he changed partners and Aubrey joined Chloe back at the bar, he would watch her as he wrapped his arms around his girlfriend's back and led her slowly across the tiny dance floor. He would catch a smile when he spun Beca around, nearly knocking her against the glass of the jukebox as she giggled and called him a klutz. A laugh when Aubrey would lean in close and tell her a secret that would never be shared with anyone else. When he dipped Beca, sweeping her off of her feet just like in the movies, he could see the red glow that had crept onto Chloe's cheeks as she slid her hands into Aubrey's lap and stared into her eyes.

It was an odd symphony of touch and love as the music swelled and his feet grew tired. He could keep up the dizzying combination all night if it meant that he would be able to watch them. Each move was carefully calculated and perfect, like a well rehearsed play. They had kept up this act for the whole summer and he could practically recite it move for move.

Act one started with tiny hidden kisses behind beer bottles in the red leather booths that were hidden in a small alcove in the corner of the tavern. Aubrey would pretend that she was too tired to keep dancing and Chloe would smile the same wry smile before grabbing her hand and pulling her away from everyone else and into their own private world.

The second scene only began when Chloe got drunk enough to loosen up a little, laughing loudly and stroking Aubrey's face and dancing with her as the bar became a little more crowded. If he didn't keep an eye on them, it was easy for them to disappear on the dance floor and among the couples that gracefully swayed and swung to the mellow music from the well-stocked jukebox.

And like every perfect trilogy, the final act was always the best part. When Aubrey would be hiccupping and laying it on thick and Chloe would throw an arm around her shoulder as they tried to determine who was sober enough to drive. It would usually end up being him and while he knew that it was terribly dangerous to drive like this, he steadied his hands and blinked his bleary eyes and guided the Jeep onto the empty road that led to the country and to their perfect little house. And as Beca stumbled inside and flopped onto the couch, deeming her legs too heavy to lift to climb the stairs and arguing with him until he eventually picked her up and took her to bed, Chloe and Aubrey would slip upstairs and into whichever room suited their needs.

He would help Beca into an old t-shirt and tuck her into his bed to the soundtrack of laughter and music and the occasional whimper before the real show began. He would flop down next to her and forget the blankets as he stared up at the ceiling and tried his hardest to ignore the moans and squeaking mattress that were keeping him from resting. And when it ended, usually to the sound of silence or the door opening for one of them to sneak back to their own bed, he would finally be able to rest.

It was the nights when the tension exploded and tears began that shook him. He tried not to listen, but sometimes he just couldn't help it and watched the stars through the open window as Aubrey calmed her down in whispers and songs. He didn't want to imagine what was happening, the thought alone broke his heart, but it was impossible to look away. He would never understand how either of them kept up this charade. It was neither black nor white and this shade of gray was lost on him.

Some things were better left a mystery.

Last night had been different. The usual signs of intimacy were there, but something was off and the slam of the door had even awoken Beca from her slumber and startled her as she shook and looked up into his dark eyes in the shadow of the night. The moans and the whimpers and the squeak of the bed as Chloe pushed Aubrey onto her back had started it all, but something had changed and as Jesse prepared himself to reach for his headphones to block out the sounds of their lovemaking, Chloe started to cry. It wasn't the sniffles and tearful words of the past, but full on sobbing and a voice that rose in pitch and timbre as she grew more and more upset. Aubrey tried to calm her down with her own even voice, but that just wasn't working tonight and soon they were bickering back and forth until Chloe yelled something at her and escaped from the room, slamming the door behind her and stomping downstairs to the living room to crash on the couch. And to his utter surprise, Aubrey did not follow after her and from the look in Beca's eyes and the silence that followed, this was the real deal.

When the smell of pancakes and bacon drifted upstairs and awoke him from his dreams, he opened his eyes and found that Beca had long since awoken and left him alone with the window still ajar. A warm breeze had blown in and his shirt felt sticky against his skin as he swiped a hand across his face and wiped away the sweat from her forgetfulness. After a quick shower and a change of clothes, he came downstairs and was surprised to see that Chloe was still on the couch. Her hair was tousled from a restless sleep and her pajama top had ridden up a little, exposing the hint of abs and her belly button. He swallowed hard at the sight of her and shook his head before heading off to the kitchen and greeting Beca with a kiss as she sat at the small table in the room and sipped from a mug filled with coffee to combat her hangover. Aubrey was cooking and Beca was quiet and Chloe was asleep and he knew that something had to give. There was just something in the air that morning that told him that this was going to be different from all of the rest and his stomach turned as he reached for the newspaper and sat down next to Beca.

Maybe it needed to happen, but he hoped it didn't. He couldn't bear to be a witness to this.

Last night was not supposed to go the way that it did. Chloe was good at sex. It wasn't something that she was particularly proud of, but as she flitted between boys and girls and back to Aubrey that one fact remained constant. She loved the physicality that came with a new partner and she just loved studying and observing them as they stripped and climbed into bed with her. She noticed the small differences: The different ways of kissing and touching her, the way their hands felt on her hips and the pace that they set to bring her to the edge. Each one was a new experience and even if she felt awful later on, the moment when she finally climaxed was always enough to keep her hands from shaking and her eyes from tearing up. And sure, when she pulled her pants back on and whispered her thanks, never staying the night, she felt like the worst kind of person imaginable but in the moments of toe-curling bliss, it was okay. She was okay. She wasn't a bad person.

It just wasn't happening tonight and she was shaking as the realization kicked in. Aubrey was touching her and kissing her and loving her but nothing was happening. The breath wasn't catching in her throat and her eyes weren't closing and she wasn't feeling anything at all. And she was terrified.

It had never been like this before and Aubrey was being so good that it hurt to fail. Her eyes were growing moist with tears and her hands were gripping the sheets and she wanted so badly to release them and push Aubrey away, but she just…couldn't. Pushing her away meant admitting defeat and there was just no way that she was doing that. Not now, not ever. She pushed her away enough in the daylight that the nights were devoted to simply holding her and there was no way that she was letting go. She was going to keep holding on, even if the tears escaped from her eyes and the sobs finally released themselves from the lump in her throat.

She wasn't getting wet and Aubrey was mewling soft endearments into her ear as her hand slipped between Chloe's legs, trying her hardest to return the pleasure that was coursing through her veins in waves. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her lips were engorged and her skin felt so good against Chloe's own bare body, but nothing was happening and her face was growing warmer with each phrase whispered into her ear and pass of a hand over and underneath her panties. This had never, ever happened to her before and as Aubrey leaned down to place soft trails of kisses from her neck to her collarbone and then eventually on her breasts where she settled with a tiny sigh, she let go of it all. She bit her lip and stared at the wall as she let her guard down and started to cry. At first the tears were just trickles down her tan cheeks, but eventually they turned into sobs and as her chest shook and her breath caught in her throat, coming out in horrible hiccups and whimpers, Aubrey allowed herself to stop her ministrations.

She had given up on her and Chloe's chest ached as Aubrey simply shook her head while moving off of the bed and reaching for her own underwear to slip over her bare body. Her body was lean and tan and perfect in the dim light streaking in through the windows and Chloe felt a flash of need strike between her legs before disappearing and leaving her with nothing. Her hair was messy and her heart was pounding and she wanted nothing more than to pull Aubrey close and guide her hand to where she needed it the most, but she just couldn't and was satisfied with pulling her knees into her chest and weeping. She had failed her.

"Did I do something wrong?" Aubrey whispered as she stepped into her panties and wrapped her arms around her bare chest. "Did I say or do anything at the bar that made you upset? I hate seeing you cry, Chlo, and I just…I thought you wanted this. You pushed me onto the bed and took my shirt off and I-I thought that you wanted me."

"I always want you." Chloe whispered while looking down at her knees and wrapping her arms a little tighter around her knees while holding back another round of sobs. "You know that I love you."

"Then what's the problem?!" Aubrey exclaimed while sinking back onto the bed and pulling her long nightshirt over her head to cover her exposed breasts. Chloe reached a hand out to hold one of hers, but Aubrey pushed it away and stood up, suddenly overcome with emotion and the overwhelming flood of all of the words that she had kept safe in her chest for far too long. She wasn't holding back, not after tonight and not after weeks and months of avoiding the elephant in the room. She couldn't take another day or even a moment more of this torture. Her heart couldn't take it and so, she let go.

"You hook up with all of the guys and girls that you meet at that stupid bar, but never me. You bring them home and sleep with them and I'm supposed to just lie in my bed and ignore your stupid mouth and act like everything is okay. You have bruises on your back and bite marks on your thighs, but I'm the good person here and it's my job to forget what you do to hurt me. I'm supposed to let it go because your parents messed you up so much that you can't accept my love. How much longer am I supposed to sit back and watch you self-destruct? When is enough finally enough?"

"Bree…" Chloe trailed off, the bubble of emotion finally popping in her chest and coming out in bated breaths and warm tears that burnt at the corners of her eyes. She hated to cry. She couldn't stand to be weak.

"Do I let you go when you can't even look at me? Or when you pull away when I touch you in public?" She spat the words out and when she watched Chloe wince, she knew that she had hit a nerve. It hurt to see her recoil, but she wasn't about to stop. It was finally time to just let it all out. "What are the guidelines for giving up on you? You're so bent on pushing me away that I think you should answer the question. Let me know what I'm supposed to do because this...this whole thing is fucking killing me and I can't do it anymore. I won't do this anymore."

"What do you want me to say, Bree?!" Chloe shouted while standing up from the bed and pushing her hair off of her face. She didn't care that Beca and Jesse were asleep next door or that it was late and not the time for fighting. She didn't care about anything anymore. "Do you think I want to be like this? I want to touch you every moment that we're together, but you know that I can't and I don't know why you have to constantly throw it back in my face. I didn't ask for any of this. I didn't choose to be this way and I didn't choose to fall in love with you."

The tears were rolling down her face now and she made no effort to stop them as they reached her chin and dripped onto her chest and slid to the floor. She was raw and open and willing to bleed for Aubrey, but not enough for anyone else to see. She loved that girl with her entire heart, but love wasn't blind and neither were the eyes of her father. She couldn't do this. She wouldn't do this all over again.

"Chloe, don't just walk away from me."

Aubrey had started to reach out for her when Chloe shoved her hands off of her bare body and reached for a blanket to cover herself up with. This was her bedroom, but she couldn't stay in here with Aubrey's eyes staring at her and the words that had slipped through her lips hanging heavily in the air. It was too much and she had to get away. She had to run. She was good at it.

"Why do you want me to stay?" Chloe whimpered while wrapping the blanket around her shoulders and holding it in a bunch in the front to safeguard herself from those eyes. "I can't kiss you in public like you want me to and I can't hold your hand when we're walking down the street. I can barely even touch you when we're alone and now you're throwing this at me. I know how my parents are and I don't need to hear it from you. I thought that you…you were supposed to understand!"

"I do understand Chloe, I just-"

"-If you understood, then you wouldn't be doing this. You wouldn't be climbing out of that bed and putting your clothes back on. You'd be able to look me in the eyes and not stare down at your lap. You'd still want me even when I can't do this. I can't just lay there and fuck you and act like it's okay. You deserve better than that. We deserve better than that."

She was sobbing now and Aubrey was blinking back her own tears as she shifted back and forth between her feet and tried to will herself to move. Part of her knew that Chloe needed this kind of breakdown and the other part knew that this was going to end in ugly words and hurt feelings. And for once in her life, Aubrey didn't know which move to make. She could stand pat and ride this out or she could pull that girl into her arms and tell her that it was okay. That it was all alright. That she still loved her.

And in the end, she chose to stand her ground and as Chloe broke down into tears that shook her whole body, she had to look away to keep herself grounded in some version of reality. This wasn't her Chloe and she couldn't take this.

It hurt.

But after a few painful moments, Chloe resigned herself to the argument and this new state of being and simply looked away. If she stared at those hands and that hair and that smile…she would never feel what she needed to feel in her hardest of hearts. With her eyes downcast, she slid her shorts and shirt on before grabbing a pillow and heading for the door. Before her hand could close around the knob and allowed her admittance to the quiet and peace of the sleeping house, she paused for a moment to give Aubrey one final chance to ask her to stay. To forgive her.

She got nothing.

And in that tiny moment when she realized that Aubrey wasn't going to pull her back from the edge and into her arms, she felt her heart finally break into the pieces that had been forming since she was a teenager. This was the final straw and as the shallow and rapid breaths expelled from her chest as her panic increased, she could do nothing but walk away. There were no words that she could say to explain herself and her actions and the millions of words that were throbbing in her head and behind her teeth and thumping in her chest.

She slammed the door and left her heart behind for good.

Breakfast was tense, to say the least. The very smell that had awoken him had the same effect on Chloe and as Aubrey finished placing a platter of pancakes onto the table, Chloe stumbled in and froze in the doorway. He watched as she stared at Aubrey and refused to move from her position until Aubrey gave her a curt nod, inviting her to eat with the rest of them. And while Chloe may have been invited into the room and to feast on the rather good meal, she was definitely not welcome to join in on the stilted and awkward conversation that Aubrey kept going. They talked about the weather and the creek and the arts festival in town, but never the important issues. Things like why her eyes were brimmed with tears and why Chloe was choking down her bacon and why she had slept alone for the first time in weeks.

It was none of his business though and that was made even more apparent when Beca gripped his thigh underneath the table and squeezed it at the first sentence that spilt from Aubrey's lips. It was his job to keep his mouth shut and to occasionally contribute something to keep the conversation going and the pair from killing each other. He was skilled in the art of mediating, having studied it for several years before her mother finally divorced his dad and married someone that didn't think that verbal abuse was appropriate at every holiday, and he could keep any conversation going if he had to. And while this wasn't exactly how he had pictured his morning going when he stood under the spray and rinsed the floral shampoo from his hair, it was a lot better than the alternative.

When they had finished eating and Aubrey stood up to start clearing the table, Jesse naturally stood up too to help her out. He had manners and it was only proper to clean up if someone else cooked. But as he stood and reached for the glass pitcher of orange juice, Beca gripped his wrist and shook her head while standing up from her own chair. He furrowed his brow, but let her lead him out into the living room where she pushed him onto the couch and sat on the coffee table in front of him with her face resting in her hands.

"Beca, what are you doing? I'm happy to help out with-"

"-We have to let them fight this out. If we don't, it's just going to get worse and I'm not dealing with this until summer is over. Now, sit here and give them some time; the dishes can wait."

And so, he listened to his girlfriend and sunk onto the couch next to her, threading their fingers together as they both braced themselves for the first move to be made. Three minutes later, when a dish was tossed into the water and the sound of Aubrey Posen's terse words was heard the whole way in the living room, the fighting finally began.

"You can't just throw dishes, Chloe! Look at my shirt, it's soaked!" Aubrey stepped backwards from the sink and pointed at her shirt while scowling at Chloe. "Maybe if you thought about someone other than yourself for once in your life you would have realized that I was standing there and that you hurt me."

"It's just water, Bree."

"Yeah, it's always just water with you. It's just something that will dry on its own and leave no trace of ever being there." She shook her head while going back to the sink and continuing on with the dishes. She knew what Beca was planning as she watched her slip away with her boyfriend and while she wasn't entirely fond of doing this chore, she didn't appreciate the help. Chloe helping out with anything was like inviting a two year old into the mix and she didn't want to be here all day. Her bed was waiting for her upstairs and she had a pillow that was dying to be screamed and/or cried into.

"It doesn't sound like you're talking about the dishes anymore, Aubrey." Chloe leaned against the counter next to her and played with a loose string coming from the hem on her shorts. She had worn them since freshman year and Aubrey was kind of surprised that they hadn't fallen apart by now. "You're talking about last night, aren't you? I don't know what you want me to say or do to change this."

"Of course you don't, Chloe. You never do." She shook her head while emptying the sink of its soapy contents and starting to dry off the clean, wet dishes that were stacked on the counter. "You play innocent and you're so convincing at it that you've started to believe it yourself. Before, it just used to be when you would say something mean to me and act incredulous when I would get upset. You'd get that stupid look on your face, like the one you have now, and just roll your eyes when I brought it up later. At first I thought that you were just insensitive and brushed it off, but then I realized after a little while that you were knowingly hurting me. I probably should have fallen out of love with you at that point, but I'm not that smart apparently."

"Aubrey-" Chloe started but was immediately cut off by Aubrey, her eyes brimming with tears and her legs subconsciously shifting her back and forth as the woman she loved glared at her and cut through her with her words. She was tearing her apart with her truth and Chloe couldn't help but wonder what would be left once she was through. And part of her, the masochist at the bitter core of her being, hoped that she'd take it all.

"No. Don't even start with that act", Aubrey replied while opening a cupboard door and shoving a plate onto the pile that was neatly stacked inside. "You don't get to be hurt, Chloe! You can stand there and cry, but it's not going to change the facts. You can't accept my love. Wait...that's not exactly true, is it?"

"Bree, you can stop now. I get it."

"I'm not done talking, Chloe!" She shouted the words at her girlfriend and it was in that moment that Chloe allowed her walls to fall down and the tears to slip down her face. Aubrey had never yelled at her like this and it hurt, but she knew deep down that she deserved it. She had brought this on herself and her heart deserved to come out just as broken as Aubrey's was.

"You can accept my love and my affections when no one else is around. It's not okay if I kiss you in public or in front of Jesse or Beca, but when we're upstairs and you're drunk, it's okay to touch me. You can apologize and kiss me and I'm supposed to accept it because you're fucking me and that's all that matters. You give me what I apparently want and sometimes I'm allowed to touch you too and once it's over, we pretend that everything is okay and we go back to bed. And sometimes, if I'm lucky and you actually care about me, you stick around for a little bit. I can't put my hands on you in bed, but I guess it's the thought that counts, right?"

"You know that I love you!" Chloe shouted this time, grabbing a cup off of the counter and rolling it back and forth in her hands to have something to concentrate on. She needed some tangible thing to keep her grounded in this conversation or she was going to lose it completely. "Why do you think that I came with you this summer? Do you think that I'm happy about this whole situation? I love you and I've loved you for three damn years! But...what do you want me to do, Bree? I have nowhere else to go and my dad would kill me-"

"-Your dad's not here, Chloe! He hasn't been here all summer and he's not going to be there when you go to school in August. Don't blame this on him when you know that-"

Chloe slammed the glass onto the counter and Aubrey stopped speaking, watching as the pieces of glass shattered and went everywhere. There was some on the floor and some behind the dishes that were still waiting to be dried and a ton that was just glistening against the marble. Chloe's hands were shaking and the one that had held the glass was starting to bleed, but Chloe didn't move. Not when the blood pooled in her palm and dripped onto the counter. Not when the pain caused her hand to throb and her whole arm to shake in agony. Not when Jesse and Beca rushed into the kitchen, making themselves privy to the argument now that the threat of physical violence was presence.

She didn't run away. She didn't move from the counter. She didn't look away from Aubrey or even down at her hand. She was present.

"You don't get to bring up my father, Bree." The words were cold as they slipped out of her mouth and Aubrey felt bad as Chloe sniffled and Beca and Jesse just watched. "I'm all that they have! Do you think that I liked being kicked out of my house when I came out? Or the fact that my father refused to pay for my school until I told him that I wasn't serious? When I told him that you were just a phase and that what we had was nothing. That I wasn't a dyke."

"Chlo-"

"No! You don't get to speak now, you've already had your turn! I'm sorry that your father doesn't give a shit about anyone besides himself and doesn't even care enough to ask who you share your bed with. I don't have a choice. So, I'm sorry if I don't hold your hand and put you on an airplane so you can come and meet my parents, but that's just the way it has to be."

"I don't want to meet your parents, Chloe." Aubrey whispered while inching her way forward and holding out a towel to take care of her hand. "It's okay. Just please stop fighting with me and let me take care of that hand. You're bleeding."

Chloe looked down at her hand for the first time and simply shook her head as the pain intensified at her realization of the damage. She couldn't stop though. She was tired of holding back and what better time to cut open her heart when she was already spilling her blood on the perfect white countertops.

"I'm so sorry about those people that I bring back here. For the girls and the guys and what I put you through. It's never meant anything to me." She looked down at her feet and tucked her bottom lip between her teeth, biting down to stop herself from crying harder and succumbing to the pain. "You would just think that after you've brought guys back here and let them fuck you, that you would have some kind of f-feelings for them. Y-you know?"

Her eyes were wide and she was stammering as she shook her head and tried to keep herself from losing it. She hated getting like this. It was the same way that she would get when she faced off with her father. The stammering that made her cheeks turn red and her eyes glance down at the floor. The burn in her stomach as she let his words sink in.

"I just...I thought that I would feel something. Even if I closed my eyes and tried to imagine that s-someone else was there, you know? If I remembered how it felt when you touched me and kissed me, that I would b-be okay."

"Chlo...let's go upstairs, okay?" Beca was touching her back and pushing her away from the counter, but Chloe still wasn't having it. Her head hurt and she was tired and she just wanted...something that could never be had. Aubrey would never forgive her or love her again. She had ruined it from the very start of the summer and she deserved this. This was what she was good at.

"I don't want to be like this anymore. I don't...I don't want to be me."

The stammering had passed and her words were even and whispered as she finally succumbed to the sobs that had built up in her chest. And as she sunk to her knees and started to weep, Aubrey rushed towards her but was stopped by Jesse's hand on her shoulder. He was holding her back and she wanted to hit him, but settled for watching Beca pick up the girl that possessed her heart and lead her upstairs while whispering the words that belonged to her into those ears that she had hurt with her sharp and unyielding tongue.

She couldn't go after Chloe. She couldn't make the first move. And so, she chose to clean. She picked up the towel and dried the rest of the dishes while Jesse wordlessly got a broom to help with the glass. And as the glass was swept off of the counter and tinkled into the bottom of the dustpan, Aubrey looked away while blinking back the tears that were burning the corners of her eyes. She couldn't help but compare her heart to those stupid shards of glass that Jesse was picking up and just as he dumped them into the trash can, she wished that she could throw her own feelings away. To forget. To start anew. To move on. But she knew that she couldn't and so, she kept cleaning.

This was the love that she deserved.

And so, Jesse found himself chaperoning his girlfriend and her best friend as he tried to clear his head and catch something in the pitiful creek. He was hot and he had a headache and the small talk and occasional emotional breakdowns from the other side of the dock weren't doing anything but scaring the fish away. He almost wished that they had stayed back in the house, but he knew that it was best to keep Chloe and her bandaged hand as far away from Aubrey as possible. He hated the bickering and he was pretty sure that they would kill each other if kept in close proximity.

But still...there was something about her still back and her calm face that annoyed the hell out of him. He could never, ever understand why she did the things that she did and he felt awful for Aubrey. She was nice, even lovely sometimes, and she didn't deserve the garbage that Chloe deflected towards her. She deserved more than this.

"It looks like we're ordering pizza tonight, guys. I'm not catching anything at all. How's it going over there?"

Beca shrugged as she checked on her own pole and said "We've got nothing. I guess we're just not fishing people."

"Bree will be happy", Chloe murmured while casting her line back into the water and watching the tiny hook disappear under the murky water. "She hates deboning them and it'll be good for her to have a night off from cooking. Supreme is her favorite kind of pizza if you're ordering."

"I'm surprised that you can remember that, with you hooking up with so many people this summer and all." Jesse smirked while pulling his line out completely and starting to pack up their gear. "It must be hard to remember the details after a while. Right?"

"Jesse-" Beca started but was cut off by Chloe, who raised a hand and motioned for her to stop.

"If you have something that you need to say to me Jesse, please go ahead. I'm not hiding anything and it's obvious that you have a problem with me. By all means, ask me anything." She arched an eyebrow as Jesse shuffled on his feet, visibly uncomfortable that she was calling him out on his rude comment. "Unless, of course, you're not man enough to actually confront me."

"Who do you think you are?" Jesse asked as he shut the tackle box and walked towards them with his fists clenched and shoved into the pockets of his khaki shorts. "You're going to question what kind of person I am after the shit you've pulled since May. Did you actually hear the words that were coming from your mouth when you were fighting with Aubrey? I really don't get it Chloe. For someone that is so happy and so bright, you really know how to ruin a great thing that you have. She loves you and you treat her like she's nothing. Don't ever question who I am."

"Jesse, stop it!" Beca warned him while placing a hand on his arm and pushing him back a little. "This is none of your business. Chloe, go back inside and let me deal with this."

"Deal with what, Beca?" Jesse smirked while removing her hand from his shoulder and shaking his head. "Oh right, I forgot. We're not supposed to talk about the elephant in the room. We're allowed to brush aside the fighting and the people that sneak out of this stupid house at four in the morning. Chloe can hide her red eyes with sunglasses and Aubrey can cry in the shower and we can act like nothing is wrong. But when it finally breaks, like this morning, it's okay for you to take care of her and for me to listen to Aubrey cry when she's drying the dishes. How is that fair for anyone involved?"

"This has nothing to do with you-"

"-It has everything to do with me!" Jesse exclaimed while cutting Chloe off and tossing his fishing pole over his shoulder. "It has everything to do with us. We have to hear the fighting and the sex and the way you cry at night. It's not healthy, Chlo. Look at your hand. You have to figure this out before you..."

He couldn't continue any longer and Chloe shook her head, pacing the dock as she rapidly blinked back tears. He sounded just like her father and even though she knew that they weren't the same person, it wasn't stopping her from slipping back into the shy and scared little girl that inhabited the house over term breaks and holidays.

She was losing it. Her hands were shaking and her heart was racing and the tears were spilling from her eyes. She wanted to scream at him and push him away while curling up in a ball and just losing herself. She wanted to tell him that he was wrong and smack his sanctimonious face. She wanted to tell him that he was right; that he had her all figured out and that she wanted to change. She wanted to be better. She wanted to be a person worthy of love: someone that could be cared about and trusted and held and all of the above.

She didn't want to be herself anymore. She wanted to just slip away. She wanted to disappear right before their very eyes; the best kind of magic trick.

Instead of running though, she simply cried. Her body curled in on itself and she sunk to the dock and just wept. It wasn't the cries that shook her chest and stained her pillow from her youth. This was different. This was falling apart. Her body was shaking and her breath was catching and her stomach was heaving with the sobs that were splitting her into pieces. And the worst part of it all was...she didn't know how to stop. And she was terrified.

Between the deep and shuddering breaths that were reverberating in her ears, she could hear Jesse and Beca arguing. They were going back and forth and from what she could make out, Beca was trying to defend her to no avail. She desperately wanted to tell her to stop, that she wasn't worth the hassle and the time spent fighting with him, but she couldn't force her tongue to expel the words and simply kept her mouth shut as she cried.

Her head was aching and her mind was cloudy and she just wanted to close her eyes and drift away. And then, Aubrey came and everything became a little clearer. She ran out of the house as the sound of their voices carried to her bedroom upstairs and she looked like she was ready to kill the pair while she kneeled down and wrapped an arm around Chloe's back and hauled her slowly to her feet. Jesse and Beca were still arguing despite her presence on the dock and as Chloe shook in her arms and cried her heart out, Aubrey just held her and waited for them to see the catastrophe that this whole thing had created and for them to just be quiet. To understand that in the end, this problem boiled down to her and Chloe and their presence wasn't needed. That she would always come back to her no matter how far Chloe pushed her away. That she would never stop loving her. That she could forgive.

That she just wanted to hear herself think.

"Bree…make them stop."

Chloe's voice was tiny as she whispered into her ear and Aubrey almost had to strain herself to hear her words over the pair that was still arguing back and forth. By this point, they weren't even talking about her or Chloe and had managed to turn their disagreement into a gateway for their first big argument. They were going back and forth and Aubrey was fighting herself from rolling her eyes as they dug further and further into each other's chests. Beca's relationship with her father, her apparent crush on Chloe, his possessiveness, and his inability to accept an opinion that wasn't his own were all featured subjects and Aubrey was tired. She was tired of their voices and the fighting. She was tired of the frustration written on both of their faces and the barbs that were cruel, but perfectly aimed at their hearts. Most of all though, she was just tired for the sake of being tired and she hated this.

"Will you guys stop?!" She finally exclaimed while pushing past Jesse with an arm wrapped carefully around Chloe's back. She had long since calmed herself down, but she was still upset and Aubrey just wanted to get her inside and away from them. To take care of her and make it all better. To heal.

"You're fighting over nothing. What happened between Chloe and me last night has nothing to do with either of you. We will work it out in our own way and we don't need either of you to step in and fight our battles. Now, please just-"

"-Aubrey, I was standing up for you", Jesse cut in while shaking his head and leaning against the wooden railing of the dock. "I just wanted some answers for why she's doing this to you. You guys pulled us into your relationship with that fight and I just…how long do you think you can keep this whole thing up? You're killing each other."

"I love her." Aubrey simply replied while tugging Chloe a little closer and kissing the side of her head, pressing her lips against the auburn locks that were damp from sweat and breathing in the smells of summer. "And sometimes that's enough."

"Do you really think-"

"Jesse, back the fuck off!" Chloe managed to gasp out while pulling herself from Aubrey's grip and righting herself on her shaky legs. "Don't you ever get tired of talking?"

And when he didn't have a response, she simply shook her head and raced into the house, slamming the door behind her. Aubrey followed closely after her and left the pair alone to simmer in the afterglow of their argument. His shirt was sticking to his back and his breaths were heavy and he felt like he had run a marathon. Beca wasn't much worse for wear and he shook his head as he dumped his fishing gear back on the dock and reached out for her hands.

"I fucked up."

"Clearly", Beca shot back while giving him a tiny smile, "but that doesn't mean that you can't fix it. We both messed up and we pushed her away when we should have just talked to her and listened. Chloe will forgive us both though. She's kind of great that way."

"And Aubrey?"

"She'll take a little longer to cool off, but she'll forgive us too. It may take a little bit of groveling, but I think that might be worth it to keep staying in this amazing house."

Jesse simply smiled at her words and held her hands a little tighter as he took in the creek and the house and the sum of all of the parts that had shaped his heart into the bleeding and thumping mass that resided in his chest. He couldn't leave this place until it was over and this little fight and the brief loss of his mind wasn't the end. It was…the beginning of everything.

"I'm sorry for bringing up your dad and your relationship with him. It was really out of line and when I'm angry I just…"

"You say stuff that you don't mean?" Beca filled in his words while giving him a tiny nod of agreement. When he squeezed her palms and gave her a curt nod, she leaned forward and planted a kiss on his cheek. "I do the same thing too. It was kind of a dick move and I'm sorry. Now, will you go on a walk with me? I really don't want to go back in that house while Aubrey is on the warpath. Pretty please?"

And Jesse just nodded and wrapped an arm around her back, forgetting the petty words and the terrible things that they had said to each other just moments before. Sometimes, love was enough and he would forgive anything if it meant that she still belonged to him. As long as she kept coming back to him he could get through anything.

Preston. His name was actually Preston. Aubrey had actually lost her virginity to a guy named Preston and here he was, sitting in their living room and resting his hand on her thigh and smiling a perfect, rich-boy smile that made her skin crawl. He was dressed in a sweater and corduroy pants and Chloe had to suppress a smirk as he walked into the house and held out his hand and asked if Aubrey was home. And if she would have known that he was that guy, she would have slammed the door in his face.

She could tell by the sparkle of green in his eyes when the light hit them a certain way. It wasn't his shaggy brown hair that was exactly the same as Aubrey had described it or the scar on his right hand that came from a tackle football accident with Aubrey's brother the summer before senior year that gave it away. It was those eyes and that smile and the way that Aubrey blushed when she strolled into the foyer and laid eyes on him. They hugged. She invited him in for coffee. Chloe felt like she was going to be sick.

And in those moments of cordial conversation and laughter as they reminisced, Chloe suddenly realized what Aubrey had been feeling all along. How awful it felt to see the person that you loved flirting with someone and touching them and talking to them like old friends. Their conversation was easier than any that had been held between her and Aubrey all summer and as the girl relaxed against the old couch and didn't remind Preston to take off his shoes inside the house, Chloe felt her eyes fill with tears.

He was perfect. He was going to medical school at Stanford in the fall and he had the nicest smile that Chloe had ever seen. She had to look away when his lips parted to reveal two rows of perfect white teeth and a laugh slipped out that made her want to swoon and punch him in the face at the same time. He had muscles and a nice sports car that was parked outside and a tan that even she was jealous of. He had it all.

He had her attention. He had her conversation. He had her hand resting on top of his, a place that Chloe had longed for Aubrey's to visit over the three days since their blowup. He had a history with her. He had her past. Memories that weren't tainted with tears and fighting and betrayal. She had given herself to him and unlike with Chloe, she could actually look him in the eyes and return his smile.

She hated him instantly.

Her chest was aching, but she didn't leave her position next to Beca on the couch. Beca was working on a mix while Jesse was in town getting some groceries and she wasn't saying a word as she focused on her laptop and the huge headphones that were tugged down over her ears. Chloe kept glancing at her and trying to catch her eye from a reflection in the screen of the Mac, but she wasn't paying attention and Chloe was utterly alone. Jesse hated her, Beca was busy, and Aubrey was subtlety destroying her.

She tried to keep busy by flipping through a book that she found on the coffee table and between lines of Lolita, she would occasionally glance up at them and try not to break down. Aubrey was laughing in a way that she hadn't heard in weeks and he was getting closer to her, wrapping his arm around her back as they talked about tennis and their fathers and grad school. She didn't even know that Aubrey played tennis, but from the way she was talking about it she was practically Serena freaking Williams in her youth. And it hurt. It hurt that she didn't know these things about her. That she wasn't privy to this part of her past that was obviously important enough to be shared with this…with this guy. He was everything she would never be. He was smart and he was handsome and he had money. He had everything that Mr. Posen would approve of in a partner for his daughter and she was just not enough.

She had never been enough.

The way that he held out his hand for her and helped her stand up from the couch nearly sent her over the edge. Aubrey smiled and nodded her head and let him lead her to the piano. She had rarely played, only on quiet nights when she was having trouble falling asleep, but she sat down eagerly and grinned up at him as he sat on the other end of the bench and placed his fingers on the upper register of the baby grand. Aubrey took the lower notes and as Chloe's eyes filled with tears, they played a sonata that swirled and grew and burst in twinkling highs and thudding lows that hit her right in the chest. It was perfect and they were happy. Aubrey's eyes were shining and Preston was grinning and it was like they had done this a million times.

Beca looked up from her mix and regarded them with a smirk and a curt nod of her head before gazing back down at the screen and returning to her hip hop. Chloe looked over at her as the pair launched into another song and to her surprise, Beca reached out and placed a hand on her knee. She froze for a moment, her eyes finally filling with tears as the younger girl patted her leg twice and then returned her hand to its rightful place on the keyboard.

And that was when she lost it.

Her breaths were coming in sharp pants as she leaned against the closed wooden door of the bathroom and tried to breathe. They hadn't even regarded her as she escaped from the room and if anything, the sounds coming from the piano got louder as she raced down the hall to the small bathroom just off of the foyer. She had slammed the door behind her and wasn't surprised when the only company that joined her was the tears that were sliding down her face and plopping onto her t-shirt in wet dots. No one was coming to be with her. No one cared. And that was okay.

She didn't have to go the bathroom, but that didn't matter as she pulled her shorts down slowly and let them pool around her ankles. She wasn't wearing socks, liking the feel of the cool wooden floorboards against her feet, and stepped out of them one leg at a time. She knew that it was wrong, to do this with thoughts of Aubrey in her head, but she couldn't stop herself as she slid her hand down her abdomen and let her fingers creep to the precipice of her thighs.

She was soaked.

All it had taken was watching Aubrey move on with some dirt bag and she couldn't even begin to think about how ironic it was. This was what had caused their huge meltdown and now…she was so wet that her fingers were damp and she hadn't even done anything to get there. Aubrey's hand wasn't on hers. That smile wasn't directed at her and that laughter wasn't drifting into her ears and swirling in her brain before settling between her legs. She wasn't sharing that bench with her, pounding on the keys to her part of Heart and Soul and smirking when Aubrey would mockingly tease her for missing a note. Placing a hand on Aubrey's thigh and biting a lip when her fingers easily moved over the ivory, flitting from A Thousand Miles to Swan Lake like it was nothing. Those moments and that perfect shade of Aubrey belonged to Preston and she was alone. And it wasn't okay, but it didn't stop her from moving her fingers away from the damp fabric and sliding her hand inside and forgetting… everything.

Forgetting her.

It was over almost as soon as she started. Her fingers were sliding and she was fighting her hips to stay still as she battled for control. And all it took was one, two, three circles of a finger over the bundle of nerves to send her over the edge. Her hips were canting and her eyes were squeezed shut and she bit her lip as she came all over her hand, completely and utterly alone.

And the tears didn't take long to fall from her eyes as she collapsed to the floor with her pants around her ankles and an aching in her heart that she knew would never be soothed with moments like these.

Beca may have looked busy as she peered down at her computer screen, but she noticed everything. Her music wasn't too loud and it was hard to even concentrate on it with Aubrey practically falling all over the preppy guy that was sitting at the piano and Chloe trying to get her attention with long stares. She wanted desperately to tell Aubrey to back off of him because she was just making it worse and for Chloe to go upstairs and stop torturing herself, but she just couldn't. It wasn't her job to make them be decent to each other. She couldn't hold their hands and teach them how to love each other. And even if she felt compelled to do that, she wasn't exactly the best person for that job.

And so she kept quiet. Her fingers danced over the keys of the Mac as she put together another mix to go along with the volumes that she had already completed and tried to distract herself from the battlefield around her. Chloe had been firing the shots all summer, but now Aubrey was fighting back and somehow it was unsettling to see the girl act like this. She had been stoic, almost graceful, in her fight to keep Chloe and now she was arming herself, ready to strike back. She was giving up and for some reason…it broke Beca's heart. Every relationship that she had ever known had fallen apart and she had been rooting for her friends to actually make it work.

She shouldn't have been surprised. No one ever really stays in love.

As she saved her mix, she looked up at the clock and mentally calculated just how long Chloe had been gone. Thirty minutes. She had been in the small water closet for a half hour and Beca was sure that she hadn't seen the door open or Chloe exit. Aubrey didn't seem to care as Preston whispered something in her ear that made her smile, but Beca knew that something was up. Chloe didn't just disappear. She loved with her entire body. She would have come back and watched this scene, taking it all in and ripping herself apart. Chloe was a masochist, just like herself, and that was how Beca knew that she wasn't okay.

"Open the door, Chloe."

Her hands were pressed up against the smooth mahogany of the door and it was only when one of them slipped that she noticed that her palms were sweating. She had been standing outside of the bathroom for three minutes now and all of her attempts to get Chloe to open up had been futile. She could hear the girl crying and whimpering behind the surface, but she wasn't opening up. And while she wasn't keen on invading her privacy and opening it, she didn't really have any other choice. She couldn't leave her like that. She was cold, but she wasn't a monster. No one deserved to cry alone.

"If you don't open this door on the count of five, I'm coming inside." Beca paused, shaking her head as she realized just how much she sounded like her mother in that moment. This place was maturing her and it was something that almost scared her. "I mean it."

She stepped back and listened, counting her breaths as Chloe continued to sob but didn't make a move to open up. She paced a little, checking the living room and catching Aubrey's eye as she looked up from the sheet music and moved her hand from Preston's thigh. Beca smirked, fighting herself from saying something smart, and gave her a little nod to continue. This was her problem now; it was obvious that Aubrey didn't care.

Her hand was shaking as it closed around the doorknob, but she wasn't surprised. She didn't know what she was about to walk into and as her mind flipped to the very worst kind of thoughts, she slowly turned it and stepped inside. And while seeing Chloe in her current state wasn't a huge relief, she couldn't stop herself from heaving a sigh when her worst fears weren't confirmed.

She was still with them. They could fix this.

"It's okay", Beca whispered as she kneeled next to her best friend and pulled her in for a hug. "I've got you."

Chloe whimpered as her sobs became stronger and tried to pull away, but Beca didn't let her move. After the events of the other night, Beca knew the state that she was in and the last thing she was letting her do was walk away from this all. Nothing good would come from slammed doors and awkward silences. She was prepared for the messy stuff. She wasn't leaving.

"I did this to her." Chloe's voice was trembling as she whispered the words between whimpers and sobs. Her lip was bleeding from biting down on it for hours and Beca couldn't stop herself from pressing the sleeve of her t-shirt against it to soak up the blood. "Every night, I made her feel like this. And now…she doesn't love me anymore."

Her cries only increased as the realization kicked in and Beca could only shake her head as she held the girl tighter. What could she say to her? She couldn't lie and tell her that Aubrey was alright, that this guy was just a friend and not obviously a ploy to hurt her in return. She couldn't tell her the truth either. Chloe was fragile and there was just no way that she could tell her that she deserved this. That she brought this on herself. That she pushed the best thing in her life away.

She stayed silent and pressed her lips to the top of Chloe's head while gently wrapping her fingers around Chloe's right wrist and guiding it away from the apex of her thighs and out of her ruined underwear. Chloe whimpered at the loss of contact and blushed as Beca slowly stood up and pulled her to her feet. Her shorts were still beneath her on the floor and her knees were trembling as Beca slowly guided her to the sink and ran some warm water from the tap before moving her hands into the spray and washing them off.

The warm water only reminded her of the creek. Of days spent in the tiny boat with Aubrey and wading on the slippery rocks as they searched for crayfish to eat and pebbles to collect and shine. Aubrey's soft chuckles when she slipped on the stones and went splashing down, soaking her jean shorts and sputtering out mouthfuls of the awful tasting water. Wrapping an arm around Aubrey's waist and bringing her down to her level, her shirt sopping and her nipples erect as Chloe couldn't stop staring between pearls of laughter and clashes of teeth and tongue against her own. Of times before she blew it all and pushed the one good thing she had ever had away from her. Before she was a fool.

She couldn't go back and that hurt the worst. There was no repairing this. They were broken. She was destroyed. She was lost. She was scared. She was falling apart.

"I've got you." Beca's breath was warm against her ear and as she lathered up her hands with the lavender soap that Aubrey loved, Beca got her redressed. She picked up the light cotton shorts and looked away as she tapped her fingers against Chloe's calves, first the left and then the right as she opened up the waistband and guided Chloe's legs in. Her breath caught in her chest as Beca slid them over her knees and onto her thighs. Her cheeks burnt as they crept over the slope of her hips and covered the fabric that held her shame. And once the elastic snapped and fell into place, Chloe broke down again.

She was so, so embarrassed to be caught in a state like this and as Beca stroked her hair and pressed her face into her shoulder, the sobs tore her body apart. They made her eyes burn and her heart thump and her stomach feel like it was going to explode. Her abdominal muscles ached from the perpetual quaking of her body and she felt like she was going to be sick as her throat constricted and tightened as the tears kept coming. She didn't know how it was possible to still be crying, but there was no stopping it and she clawed at her eyes, reddening the skin as she swiped at the tears and begged for it to be over.

She had earned this.

"Jesse, what are you doing?" Chloe asked as the door to her bedroom knocked heavily against the wall and Jesse slid into the room with his arms full. "It's late and I'm tired and…where the hell did you get that?"

Jesse smiled down at the portable record player in his arms and set it down on top of her dresser before looking around for an outlet to plug it into. He had tucked a record into the back of his pants and Chloe couldn't help but smirk as he awkwardly leaned down to peer behind her dresser.

"There's an outlet next to the rocking chair by the window."

"Oh, thanks", Jesse replied with a small grin and slid the plug into the outlet before placing the record onto the platter and turning the volume dial up until it started to turn. "I picked this up when I was in town the other day. I figured that Aubrey wouldn't let us take the real one back home, so this would be a pretty worthy replacement. I mean, it's going to need speakers and stuff to really be good but that's Beca's territory and it's best if I let her handle that." When Chloe simply nodded with a blank expression, Jesse turned the volume up a little and mumbled "I bore myself sometimes too, it's okay."

"I was just wondering what you were doing up here. Don't you have a girlfriend to do…whatever it is that the two of you like to do together?"

"She's downstairs with your girlfriend having a drink and a talk." Jesse sighed when Chloe raised her eyebrows at the word 'girlfriend' and added "Preston went home, by the way. I showed him out after I got home and carried all of the bags in."

"Was that Beca's idea?" Chloe asked while playing with the fringe of her blanket and not wanting to meet his eyes. "Did she tell you what happened?"

"No, not really", Jesse replied while hoisting himself on top of the dresser and sitting next to his new toy. "She just said that you were upset and that this guy had worn out his welcome."

"And what did Aubrey have to say about that?"

"Not much, I guess." Jesse read over the back of the faded record sleeve and traced his fingers over the album art. "I think she was pretty relieved to see him leave and he didn't really protest when I kindly asked him to go. You may be surprised, Ms. Beale, but I can be cordial when telling someone to get the fuck out. It's a real skill."

"Oh, I can see how you won Beca over", Chloe shot back while holding back a giggle. "And thanks, for doing that. I hate to have you guys getting in our messes, but I appreciate-"

"-You don't need to thank me, so just stop. I figured that I owed all of you that for being kind of a dick at the dock earlier so getting rid of a hipster was a tiny penance."

"Well still, thanks." Jesse smiled back at her while giving her a tiny nod of acknowledgement and for a moment they just listened to the music in the awkward air between them. She knew that he knew more than he was letting on and she was thankful that he wasn't trying to comfort her, but she still felt embarrassed. This whole summer had been one long series of embarrassing events and this was just the tip of the iceberg. "So um…what the heck are we listening to?"

"This is apparently a favorite record of The Posen family since I found it up in the attic the other day while snooping." He flipped the record around so Chloe could see the album art and announced "The Captain and Tennille."

"Oh dear God, that fits her father perfectly", Chloe deadpanned while rolling her eyes and smirking. "I can just imagine him gathering Aubrey and Beau around the record player and teaching them about the joys of the '70s."

"A time of hippies, war, and grown men singing love songs in captain's hats", Jesse quipped while Chloe laughed and shook her head. "I can see exactly how she won you over."

"Hey, that's not nice", Chloe scolded him while trying not to giggle. "I know this may surprise you, but it wasn't her stellar music taste that made me fall in love. It was her hair, obviously. Some girls just have a thing for blondes."

"And some guys have a thing for angsty brunettes. It happens."

"Yeah, I suppose it does", Chloe added softly while biting her lip. "So, besides the physical attraction to the lovely Ms. Mitchell, how did you know that you liked Beca?" When Jesse worried his lip while thinking of a response, Chloe patted the bed next to her and propped a pillow up against the headboard for him. "That dresser wasn't made for asses. Now, what was your a-ha moment?"

"Okay, Oprah", Jesse teased as he turned the volume down a little and crossed the room before flopping down on the bed beside her. "It we're having girl talk, maybe I should run and change into my PJs too. We can have a slumber party!"

"No way, Gayle. The more clothes the better. I happen to know that you sleep in boxers and while I like you, I require at least two layers between myself and your junk."

"Do you think about my junk often?" Jesse joked as he reached for the blanket and pulled it up to his neck while trying to keep a straight face. "Beca's going to drown you if she finds out, so it'll be our little secret because I kinda like having you around and I'm not in the mood to fish for gingers in the creek. It's just so hard to be the prettiest girl at the dance and to have everyone fighting over me!"

Chloe giggled as he rolled his eyes and fanned himself and he couldn't help but laugh too. Their earlier argument and harsh words were forgotten as she smacked his arm gently and for the first time in days things felt okay.

"I've missed that smile, Chlo."

"Oh, well I only smile when you're not around. It's hard to smile when you're trying not to barf."

"Hey!"

"I'm just kidding, jeez. Anyways, you were going to tell me about the moment you fell in…"

"Swoon?

"Sure, that'll work", Chloe replied while trying not to grin at him. "The moment you fell in swoon with Beca Mitchell."

"You ask impossible questions, but lemme think for a minute." Jesse closed his eyes and got comfortable against the pillows as he tried to think of the perfect answer to her question. There were so many things that he loved about Beca and he could spend all night listing them, but there was one moment when he just knew that she was a keeper. "I think I fell for her from the very first glance. Scowls and all."

"Jesus, you're a sap. Just one look and that was all it took?"

"Are you The Hollies now?" He quipped while she simply smirked and nodded. "Yeah, just one look and then I got to know her and she had me completely. It wasn't even that we had a lot in common or anything like that, there was just something about her that I was drawn to and really liked. That I still really like. And…I keep finding things that I like about her, which has made this summer pretty special."

"Oh really?" Chloe asked while trying not to grin and wrap her arms around the obviously smitten boy. "What's summertime Beca like?"

"I dunno…", he trailed off and ran a hand through his wavy hair while trying to think of something not terribly cheesy to say. "Sometimes I catch her when her guard is down and she doesn't realize anyone can see her and she's so beautiful. She'll be playing a record or messing around with her computer and I just have to stop and watch."

He paused before taking a deep breath and reaching out for Chloe's hand to hold in his own. It wasn't something that he normally felt compelled to do, but the moment had become strangely intimate and he craved the contact. When she took his hand without protest and squeezed it a little he knew that it was okay and softly said "It's not so much that she's really different because we're here or because it's the summer, but now I guess I can see the tiny things that I never noticed before. The small things that got lost in the rush of college and competition. God, that sounds pretty creepy, doesn't it?"

"Not, not really", Chloe replied while closing her eyes and leaning into him a little. "Aubrey is like that too. Like the other day I walked in on her drying the dishes and she must've been thinking about something and she was biting her lip and I just had to remind myself to breathe because she looked so beautiful. It got me thinking about catching her doing that every day for the rest of my life and how amazing it would be to get caught up in her. It's kinda crazy that something stupid like that can turn you into mush."

"I think it's pretty awesome, to have found someone and to have those kind of moments. Beca just drives me crazy." He laughed a little to himself and held Chloe's hand a little tighter while exhaling a breath that he didn't know he was holding in his chest. "She wasn't what I was looking for and she's so different from what I always imagined myself falling for, but here I am. I'm hopelessly…hopeless."

"It sounds like you're in love, Mr. Swanson." She smiled when he couldn't stop himself from grinning and softly said "You're right, you're definitely hopeless. And I'm really happy for you. You picked a real keeper."

"Thanks." He sighed into her hair and mumbled "We make a wonderful pair, Chloe. I'm in love with a girl that probably doesn't love me back and you have Aubrey wrapped around your finger but it's just not that easy to make it really work sometimes. What are we going to do, buddy?"

"Who knows?" Chloe whispered while fighting back the sleep that has snuck up on her after her long, emotional day. "I didn't mean to fall in love with her. I fought it and denied it and tried my hardest to ignore it, but here I am and it's scary and I don't want it to be over."

"You're like a kid on a rollercoaster that's terrified of heights but loving every minute of the ride."

"Yeah, maybe I am." She sniffled a little and buried her face into the side of his soft cotton t-shirt. He smelled like summer and sweat and Old Spice and she was so happy to have him here with her instead of being alone. "She'd be stupid not to fall in love with you, Jesse. You're a good guy."

"I think you should go to sleep before you start really complimenting me and my head gets too big to fit through that door."

"Oh whatever", she murmured while wrapping the blankets around her back and nuzzling her head into her pillow. "Will you stay with me?"

"Of course." He rubbed her back while flipping the bedside lamp off and getting a little cozy in the small bed. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

And as she drifted off to sleep, Chloe felt more loved than she had in a long time. Aubrey had rescued her on the dock and Beca had practically carried her out of the bathroom and Jesse had saved her from herself. She didn't deserve it after everything that she had done and put them through over the past few weeks, but maybe it was a sign that everything could work out. That her friends would be with her regardless of whatever crisis she created or wall that she built up to protect herself from judgment and rejection. That she would still be loved no matter what and wouldn't be left to crash and burn.

That she would be okay.