How to annoy...Edward Cullen, I mean...New Dante!

The annoying rebooted version of the AWESOME Dante. Ninja Theory you suck...

1. Well I already called him Edward so...

2. Write a yaoi about new Dante and pair him with Edward

3. No Dante, not Elric.

4. YOU'RE NOT THE REAL SANTA! (Lol Elf reference)

5. Errrr I mean... YOU'RE NOT THE REAL DANTE!

6. Tell Kat about the opening cutscene where Dante "hangs out" with the prostitutes

7. Tell Dante how screwed he is right now

8. Ask if he likes it

9. Dye his hair white while he's asleep

10. Be careful there might be strippers in the room too try not to wake them up

11. Or you can pay them to draw mustaches and dicks on Dante's face in sharpies while he's asleep

12. Take pictures of it and post them online

13. Give one to Vergil

14. If there are prostitutes in the shot give one to Kat as well

15. When Dante wakes up blame it on Vergil

16. While you're at it cover him in glitter so that people mistake him for edward

17. Again not Elric sorry reboot Dante but you're not cool enough unless you're surrounded by 12 year olds

18. Remind him that the original Dante was cooler and better looking

19. You know how he has the British flag on his trench coat? Accuse him of being a fan of One Direction

20. If he chases you, yell the British are coming the British are coming as loud as you can

21. Or get the Paul revere from assassins creed to do it for you

22. Do it at 1 in the morning

23. Ask him why Mundis gets an iPhone

24. Make him buy you one with all his red orbs

25. Tell Kratos that Dante has a ton of red orbs

26. Watch Kratos try to kill Dante

27. Take pictures with your new iPhone

28. Remind him that Vergil has the bigger dick

29. Tell Dante his character design i mean face is what made the devil cry

30. Or say his mom and then laugh saying haha you don't have a mom anymore

31. Ask how many red orbs it cost Sparda to buy that big house they use to live in you know before Dante lived in an orphanage where he brandished the severed head of the demon running the orphanage

32. Speaking of houses tell every Girl Scout and door to door salesman where his trailer is

33. Don't forget to include the Jehovah's Witnesses too (no offense if you're a Jehovah's Witness)

34. Tell them he ruined a church and needs spiritual guidance now more than ever

35. Maybe now the angels will be relevant to the plot

36. And lastly... Call the smokers helpline and tell them Dante needs help quitting