I'm posting this in honor of Usagi's birthday this year. Updates will be spurious and un-often, but they will occur. Mostly it will be when I hit a dead zone in my other story(s).

The idea that started this was simple. I've seen stories with an evil Naruto, and evil Ichigo, and evil Shinji, and just about every other main character I read. Some are good, most are not. However, I cannot easily recall seeing evil!Usagi without completely butchering the story, so I decided to try my hand at it. Here it is.

To sum it up quickly, it will be mostly the same plot, until things go off the rails at least, with only one or two background changes. But because Usagi is evil (in so much as a middle-class teenager can be) she'll be more cunning and manipulative, including towards her fellow senshi. And a lot of the fun will be making her genre savvy and screwing with her anyways (I accept suggestions). Tell me what you think.

I don't own Sailor Moon. Nor do I own Peter's overlord list, Issendai's magical girl list, or anything else referenced here.

"Usagi, you're late!" Ikuko called. "Wake up now or you'll be late for school!" After three minutes of this and an assault from her little brother the blonde in question pulled herself out of bed and glared at her alarm clock.

"Mom, it's daylight savings!" Usagi shouted back. "It's not even seven! I still have an hour!"

"Daylight savings is next week! It's ten to eight!"

"Really?" The blonde blinked as she processed this. "Oh, crap." Usagi was instantly a whirlwind of movement, dressed and out the door running full pelt in under two minutes. She hadn't been late for a month since she bought herself a new alarm clock (which she had programmed to play the one thing so horrible that she couldn't sleep through it—Barney songs) and falling back into bad habits was something she couldn't afford now that she was in high school.

Thankfully, Usagi was good enough to be recruited to the track team for her school, and would make it with two minutes to spare at her current pace. At least, she would have made it with two minutes to spare if she hadn't crashed into someone rounding the corner.

"Ow…Damn, lumphead, are you trying to give me a concussion?" Usagi looked up into the eyes of a guy. A hot guy. Unfortunately, the lumphead comment was a major turn-off. She swallowed the apology she'd been about to give.

"No, but it would probably help your attitude," she snapped. "I was going to apologize, but now I really don't feel sorry."

"Go play in traffic," he drawled, and walked away.

"Go screw yourself!" she shrieked at his retreating back. He just made a talk-to-the-hand gesture and kept walking. Usagi snarled to herself and set about collecting her things. She definitely had a scraped knee. She heard a couple of kids yelling to each other a few meters away and turned to look. They were gathered around something, probably an animal or a smaller kid, and she vaguely considered leaving it.

But she was already late, and she was was also tired, cranky, sore, and upset. She looked at the kids and thought, targets.

"Hey, brats!" she yelled storming over. They turned around and she pulled one into the noogie of a lifetime. "Picking on things smaller than you ain't so fun on the other end, huh?" They ran away. She turned to see what they were picking on. "A kitty-cat, huh."

The black cat was curled up and pawing at a band-aid on it's forehead. She blew out a breath, exasperated at herself, and picked it up by the scruff of its neck.

"Hey, there…girl," she said checking its sex. "No collar? Well, someone must have cared enough to put that on you. Or was it those kids' idea of a joke?" That cat mewled helplessly. "You know…" Usagi mused, "a lot of people say that doing evil doesn't feel good." She stuck one finger under the bandage and ripped it off viciously, prompting a yowl of agony from the cat, which she dropped back to the ground uncaringly. "Personally, though, I think that doing good feels evil." She grinned and began running to school again, and the cat just stared as she went.

That was rather vicious. She doesn't seem the type, Luna thought, but I got such a familiar feeling from her. Have I found one of the senshi after all this time?

"Usagi, I'm surprised," Ms. Haruna said to the blonde standing in the doorway. "You haven't been late for over a month now. What happened?"

"I thought it was daylight savings time and messed up my alarm," she admitted. A few of her classmates laughed, and Usagi's head snapped towards them. Rather than yell or glare, she raised an eyebrow and mockingly bowed. "Thank you, thank you, I'm here all week. All year in fact. And next year if I don't get my grades up." Everyone laughed at that and Ms. Haruna sighed.

"I'll go easy on you this once," the English teacher said, "but if it happens again you're back in detention."

"Thank you Ms. Haruna!" Usagi swiftly hugged her teacher and skipped to her desk. The rest of the lesson was relatively painless, as Usagi had been seriously applying herself in English lately, and ended when Ms. Haruna passed back everyone's tests from the previous week.

76%! Usagi celebrated. It was more than 30% higher than what she'd been getting the previous month. Her study sessions with Umino and Takeshi were paying off, it seemed. Even if they do ogle me a bit, it's worth it. And hey, if I get free tutoring in exchange for showing them a bit of skin, who am I to complain?

Usagi plopped down on the roof and a circle of students quickly formed around her.

"Do you want some?" Daisuke asked, noticing her lack of a lunch box.

"Thanks," she purred, and scooted next to him. And if she left a smudge of lip gloss on his chopsticks, she pretended not to notice and he pretended not to care. After all, it wasn't like he wanted an indirect kiss from her. A few more bites later and she pecked him on the cheek, earning a blush.

"So, how was the test?" One by one everyone answered, ranging from Umino and Takeshi's 105% and 98% to Shinobu and Sado's 66% and 68%. The blonde dropped words of encouragement and congratulations where appropriate, until she got to Shinobu.

"I got up to a 76 with some tutoring form Takeshi and Umino," she told the shy girl. Shinobu meeped as Usagi slid next to her and slung an arm over her shoulder, pulling their cheeks side-to-side. "Maybe you should sit in on a few sessions with us, hmm?"

"Y-yeah," Umino stuttered out, seeing the two girls pressed so close together. Takeshi bit his lip and pretended to look away, but couldn't quite manage.

"R-r-really," Shinobu stuttered, a touch intimated by the thought of spending time not only with queen-of-the-class Usagi, but resident hottie Takeshi as well.

"Really," Usagi assured, but then put her finger to her lips in thought and shifted positions. If this happened to cause her skirt to hike up, well, the boys pretended not to notice. They didn't pretend very well, but they made the effort. "Actually, now that I think about it, maybe that isn't such a good idea."

"What! Why?" Umino yelped, trying not to drool. His eyes hadn't traveled above stomach height in several minutes, and he was trying not to drool at Usagi's expanse of thigh. If Naru hadn't known Usagi was teasing him on purpose, she'd have slapped Umino for such blatant perversion.

"You two already spend so much time spacing out on me that I don't think your brains would survive spending time with sweet little Shinobu, too," Usagi purred, rubbing their cheeks together affectionately. "Isn't that every guy's dream? Two girls?"

"I-I-I can tot-tally cont-trol myself-f," Umino objected.

"Y-yeah, what kind of horn-dog do you take me for," Takeshi objected.

"Really?" Usagi asked smugly. "Cover their eyes." Naru clapped her hands over Umino's glasses while Sayuri did the same to Takeshi. "What color are my panties?"

"I wasn't looking at your polka dots," Umino claimed. "I mean your panties!"

"Neither was I! My eyes stayed on your face," Takeshi maintained.

"Really, Takeshi? What color is my eye shadow?" Usagi asked. There was a long pause as Takeshi got redder and redder. Several people started snickering that the popular sports-jock had been caught. Takeshi squirmed, trying to get a glimpse of her face, but Sayuri kept his eyes covered.

"Blue!" he blurted out, unwilling to take the embarrassment any longer.

"Nope."

"Right, sorry, it was the sparkly silver kind you like," he guessed trying to salvage the situation. Usagi motioned for the girls to uncover their eyes.

"I'm not wearing any," the blonde deadpanned, having not had time to do make-up that morning. She turned her head, going nose-to-nose with a blushing Shinobu. "Boys, right? Really, if we didn't need them for babies, I'd wonder why we bother. Don't you agree," she asked the shy girl, and Shinobu grew redder and redder. Several boys leaned forward in anticipation.

The fact that Usagi was both bi and liberally affectionate was well known among her classmates. Most the boys hoped for a bit of yuri, and even one or two girls felt a pang of jealousy. None would admit it—or at least, none would admit it very proudly—but several of them knew that Usagi was a very good kisser, and she had made a few people ask themselves some uncomfortable questions after an 'encounter' or two.

"Sometimes I just…" Usagi trailed off softly and Shinobu found herself leaning forward slightly. The blonde was simply intoxicating, and- "Are those sakura mocha?"

Everyone blinked as Usagi did an about-face, nose twitching at the scent of sweets. A few of the boys groaned in disappointment, only to wince as their female classmates socked them.

"I—yes," Toharu stammered out, surprised by the change in topic.

"Could I pleasepleaseplease have one or two?" Usagi begged eagerly, applying her soulful puppy-dog eyes at full power.

"Go ahead," Toharu offered and Usagi grabbed two, stuffing one in her mouth.

"Fanx, vese ah derishous!" Everyone sweat-dropped at Usagi's mood swing. Naru was the only one who knew her well enough to tell that the blonde was giving everyone mood-whiplash on purpose. It was her idea of a hobby.

"So Usagi," the redhead began, simultaneously offering a few tidbits from her own bento to the ravenous blonde, "what made you so late for school this morning? Did you really mess up your alarm clock?"

The blonde paused in her chewing, swallowed, and nodded. "Yup, and no one bothered to get me up until it was too late," she added, put out. "Even then I would have made it if I hadn't slammed into this guy on the way. What an asshole."

"Really? You ran someone over? Or did the guy trip you?"

"I ran him over, but he way over-reacted. I apologized and he—" Usagi stopped, blinked, and face-palmed.

"What's wrong?"

"I just realized I had a meet cute," the blonde groaned. Shinobu and Ichiro, both members of the manga club with Usagi, were the only ones to get the reference.

"What, like a crash into hello?" Ichiro asked to clarify.

"Bingo."

"This is one of your manga things, right?" Naru asked.

"Yeah, it's pretty common. You introduce a new character by having someone run into them. I bet I'll be seeing a lot of him for a while."

"You do realize that real life doesn't work like that, right," Naru teased, grinning.

"I'll bet you 1,000 yen that I see him again before the day's over tomorrow," Usagi countered.

"Deal," Naru agreed, and they shook on it.

"Good, I look forward to winning," Usagi purred, leaning back. Her stomach growled and she laughed nervously. "Heh, anyone have some tidbits to give to poor, starving Usagi?" A few offers later and she was happily munching. One of her classmates, Chiyo, brought up an interesting question.

"I heard that there was another jewelry robbed in the area. It wasn't yours, Naru, was it?"

"No," the redhead answered, shaking her head. "The 'rose robber' hasn't struck us yet."

"Rose robber? Is that what they're calling him?"

"Yes," Umino announced, eager to display his garbage-brain status. "The mysterious person, or possibly group of people, has been dubbed the 'Rose Robber' due to his or her habit of leaving a rose as a calling card at the scene. What's more the police are not only baffled by his identity and methods, but his motives as well. Reportedly he's only stolen a handful of pieces from any of the stores, all of which have been returned with another rose a day or two later."

"Yeah," Naru agreed. "He's got everyone nervous, but no one's really worried. I heard my mom say that it's probably a guy trying to drum up business for a security company or something. That's the only reason I can think of why he would do that."

"I would totally do it if I thought I could," Sayuri gushed. "Just the thought of being surrounded by all those beautiful gemstones, it makes me shiver."

"If you're that into it, just drop by the store after school," Naru said drily. "My mom started a big sale yesterday, and some of the stuff is even in our price range."

"Really?" Usagi asked, and grinned. "Well, I know where I'm going after track today." The lunch bell cut off all other conversation.

"Assemble." The voice rang with power and echoed around the empty cavern. A moment later four figures teleported in, called from their various duties to report. "Zoicite, how fare your operations?"

"Badly, your majesty. Most of my troops were slaughtered by Sailor V, and it is only with the loan of youma from Lord Kunzite that I can continue my operations without falling into the red. Soon I may fall below quota, regardless. The blonde b**** has many of our youma terrified; it is difficult to believe that she is a mere senshi."

"If your energy collection is not going well, how fares your recruitment, then?"

"Alas, my queen, with Danubrite-with Adonis's death I have been unable to find any further reincarnated warriors. I must wonder if it was mere chance or an accident that caused his rebirth, as no other member of the court has yet appeared."

"Your search for the Silver Crystal, then, Zoicite?"

"That goes much better, my queen. We do not yet have any leads but we are turning through large numbers of gems in search of it. If nothing else, we will be able to soon establish that it is not in Europe, and focus our efforts elsewhere for better results." Zoicite finished his report and bowed, awaiting Beryl's judgement. She sighed.

"It is not good, Zoicite, and I am not happy. However, I take into consideration the fact that you single-handedly kept Sailor V away from most of our other activities for several months, allowing your fellows to succeed at cost to yourself, so I shall excuse you. Continue your works, and have better news for me soon. Kunzite," she continued as Zoicite bowed and stepped back, "how goes your energy gathering?"

"It goes, my queen. The violence in Africa and the Middle East serve as excellent cover for our attacks, and Sailor V has not yet paid us a visit. Sometimes this works against, as we have lost forces to others' attacks on occasion, but overall we have a slow but steady current of energy to give to our great leader."

"Excellent," she purred. "And your search for the Silver Crystal?"

"My forces have seized control of several diamond smuggling rings, and mines, but rather than search for it ourselves we are forwarding the gems to Zoicite's forces, who look with greater thoroughness and efficiency." He gestured to the European Operations leader, who bowed again silently.

"I have no objection to this, as long as there is a search," Beryl told them. "Nephrite, what have the stars told you?"

"Alas, my queen, the stars have been silent on this subject. What's more, I have lately been suffering Zoicite's problems, with Sailor V now operating in North America. She has steadily been interrupting over thirty percent of my operations, and her successes are growing. I have not had time to do more than a cursory search for the Silver Crystal. Perhaps, when Zoicite is finished in Europe, he could spare me a few searchers?"

Zoicite laughed lightly as Queen Beryl's eyes turned back to him. "In a week or two I would be happy to help him, my queen. Nephrite, just keep a list of places to look, and I'll go over it when I have the chance."

"Given that you are keeping Sailor V busy, this is acceptable for now," Beryl told them. "Jadeite, what of your operations?" The blond bowed.

"My queen, it was originally my forces who discovered and fought Sailor V, and after that devastating first month before she began appearing in Europe, I had pulled most of my forces out of Japan, instead taking advantage of the high population density to operate in China and India."

"I remember this, Jadeite. Moreover, you have been providing me with the most energy over any of your fellows, due to the scope of your operations. What of it?"

"My queen, earlier Nephrite predicted several locations where the Silver crystal might appear, including London and Tokyo. With Sailor V active in America, I have finally returned my troops to Japan to begin our search for the Silver Crystal."

"What have you found?"

"At the moment I only have one of my operatives, the insidious Morga, active to scout the area. She infiltrated a store where they sell jewels and crystals on the off-chance that we would find a lead. No luck as yet, but she asked for and received permission to begin a draining operation using false gems, so I shall soon have another delivery of energy for you. I have several other operations ready for the near future, as well, so we soon shall have a steady flow of energy for our great ruler."

"Excellent, Jadeite, I am well pleased," Beryl announced, shifting in her throne. "Continue your work, all of you, and do not disappoint."

"Yes, your majesty," the four chorused in unison, and teleported away.

"Three…Two…One…Start!"

The four girls exploded into motion, Usagi quickly taking the lead as they pelted around the track. If this was a sprint then she would definitely be in the lead, but…

"Tsukino! Slow down! This is supposed to be an endurance run!" The four were supposed to do ten laps around the track, but at this rate most people would be exhausted by three, maybe five laps.

"I'm fine!" the blonde called back as she passed by the coach.

"She really is," Naru commented from the bleachers. The coach hadn't seen it yet, since this was still early in Usagi's first year of high school, but Naru had seen the blonde on the track at their old school. Usagi wasn't particularly strong, graceful, or dexterous, but she had two good qualities when it came to sports.

One, she was fast. Wickedly fast. Naru was fairly certain that her friend could outrun a motorcycle in a short enough distance. She had definitely seen Usagi outrun bicyclists in the past as well.

Two, the blonde had absolutely insane stamina. Over the past summer Usagi had asked Naru to help her find her limits, so that she'd know not to go overboard. Usagi had run thirty-eight laps at her current speed before passing out, with only the occasional pause to grab a water bottle or swallow an ice cube.

Of course, such stamina came with a downside. Once Usagi had hit her limit, she completely crashed. The blonde had slept through the rest of that afternoon, that night, and woken up at noon the next day, at which point she had been ravenous. Naru hadn't been there to see it herself, but Usagi claims she had eaten almost thirty pounds of food, according to her mother.

It was really rather…frightening. Sometimes Naru found herself wondering if her best friend was only partly human. Then Usagi would do something like squee over a manga or drag them both clothes shopping, and Naru'd decide that it didn't matter either way.

"Tsukino, are you okay?" the coach yelled. Naru focused back on the track. Usagi's clumsiness had struck again, and the blonde had tripped over her own two feet. In spite of this, she had a big enough lead that the other two hadn't passed her yet, but they were closing in.

"Pick yourself up and beat their butts, bunny!" Naru yelled to encourage her friend. The blonde stood up, shaking her head to clear away the birdies, just as the front-runner passed her. Usagi immediately sprung into motion, holding her own with the next up.

Half a lap later she had pulled even with the front-runner, who had broken from her stamina-conserving jog into a sprint in an attempt to keep her lead. She couldn't keep it up, and another half-lap later Usagi had pulled back into first.

"Seven minutes, ten seconds," the coach clocked as she finished the final lap. Usagi kept jogging towards the stands, flashing a victory sign to Naru.

"Your store still open?" she asked the redhead.

"It should be," Naru agreed, standing. A few others peeled off to follow them now that practice was over.

"Aren't you going to change?" Sayuri asked Usagi.

"Do I need to? I think I barely worked up a sweat," Usagi answered.

"Point. Are you even human?" Toharu asked quietly, but with a smile.

"I hope so," Usagi said. "Otherwise my mom needs to answer some questions." Still…It would be cool if was different. More than I already am, at any rate. There would be so many opportunities, even if it was just a little advantage over everyone else. You can do a lot with a little. Usagi sighed.

The Osa-P came into view after a few minutes, and it was packed.

"Oh wow, that ruby is gorgeous," Usagi said wistfully. "And those pearls."

"That's a special piece—a pigeon's blood ruby. It's worth, like, a million yen or something," Naru told her. "And obviously it isn't on sale. I think this is just to drum up business for regular pieces, the specials are all full price."

"Not all of them," Naru's mother announced cheerfully, coming out of no-where. "We just got a new shipment cheap, and there're a lot of things on sale, and I'll give you girls a bigger discount so you can find something you like." The girls quickly scattered into the throng, searching, pushing, and shoving their way through the older women. Usagi in particular had a pair of vicious elbows, and emerged victorious a few minutes later.

"I've had my eye on these forever!" She deposited the pair of luminescent pearl earrings set in silver into Mrs. Osaka's hands. "How much are they?"

"Oh…one of the old set," Mrs. Osaka said weakly. "Wouldn't you like something a bit newer? These aren't on sale, I'm afraid. How about these?" Take these glass gems infused with dark energy, and give your life force to the Dark Kingdom. I, Morga, servant of General Jadeite, command it!

"Oh, rubies are my favorite! Even more than pearls! How much are they?" Usagi asked eagerly. The red drops glittered invitingly. At the incredibly small (small for jewelry, but it was still almost two months of allowance) sum Mrs. Osaka quoted, Usagi quickly shelled out her cash, almost emptying her purse, and departed the store with great glee.

"These are so pretty," she purred, putting them in her ears and throwing the box into the trashcan behind her. "Aren't you, my preciousss?"

"What is it with you and hitting my head, meatballs?" asked an annoyingly familiar voice behind her. Usagi turned around to find herself looking at the young man from that morning, now dressed in a tuxedo. He was holding the box she had tossed over her shoulder and rubbing his forehead. Usagi promptly ignored him, and turned back to the jewelry store.

"Hey Naru!" She managed to make herself heard over the throng and her friend made a 'listening' gesture through the glass. "You owe me 1,000 yen," she called, pointing to the guy in the tux, and Naru made a hopeless 'okay, later,' gesture. Usagi nodded in acceptance and flounced off, paying no attention to the man slated to become a recurring character in her life's story. In turn, he just watched her walk away, followed by a black cat that and turned back to the store.

There's definitely magic here, he thought to himself. If I'm lucky, it may very well be the Silver Crystal.

"Oh, that's just trite," Usagi muttered to herself, reading fanfiction on her computer that evening. "Hinata can be a badass, but it's stupid for her to go like that without any in between points. It completely destroys the character!" She began typing up a scathing review of the Naruto fanfiction she'd thought looked so promising, and hit enter. She sat back and began scrolling through her account, but none of her favorites had been updated recently.

"Oh well, I guess I can't put it off any longer," she said to herself, and began typing. The next chapter of her Evangelion story, under the pen name Tsukiyomi, wasn't going to write itself.

"Not who I'd expected," said an unfamiliar voice from behind her. Usagi spun around instantly, grabbing the pair of scissors on her desk and her free hand inching toward the knife hidden under her pillow. Then she got a good look at the intruder. It was the black cat from that morning, with a crescent moon spot on her forehead.

"The hell?"

"None the less," the cat continued in a female voice, "I believe you are the one I've spent so long looking for, Usagi Tsukino."

"…Hold on a sec," Usagi deadpanned, and opened a drawer in her desk. Not taking her eyes off the cat, but not paying much attention to what it was saying, she pulled a package of razor blades, disinfectant, gauze, and adhesive bandages out of the drawer.

"What are you doing?" the cat asked. With the calm air of practice Usagi drew a single red line across the back of her left hand, and hissed.

"Okay, I'm not dreaming," she said, and began quickly cleaning and binding her cut. "There really is a talking cat in the room. Lay it on me."

"I…yes. My name is Luna, and I have been searching for you for a very long time."

"Prophecy?" Usagi guessed.

"Something like that, yes. As you may be aware, there are things in this world that have been happening that are beyond the police's ability to handle. Dark forces are moving in the world."

"And I've been chosen to combat them, right?"

"Yes, exactly," Luna said, somewhat surprised. She certainly seems eager. Maybe I misjudged her.

Of course, Usagi was thinking something very different. Wonderful. Apparently I'm going to have to put my life on the line fighting monsters. First chance I get, scout out the other side and see what it's like. If Luna asks, I can tell her I'm plotting to infiltrate and destroy them from within. It might even be true, depending.

"Look, I'm going to need a little more information than that. First off," Usagi began, only to pause. Wait. Hell! Isn't there some genre rule that heroes only get their powers in times of need? I'm going to be attacked any second now! "Scratch that, just do what you do and tell me how I make the magic work!" she yelped, panicking.

"This," Luna said, flipping into the air. A brooch with four gems and a crescent moon symbol fell onto her bed, and Usagi immediately grabbed it, feeling it warm in her hands. "This is your transformation amulet. You use it to become a sailor senshi by calling your activation phrase."

"What's the phrase?" Usagi snapped. Naruto and Mizuki; Ichigo and the hollow; Luffy and his haki; Shinji and Sachiel; Shiro and Saber. The first stuff always happens right at the worst possible time. Why did I have to end up on the heroic side?

"You become a sailor-suited guardian of love and justice with the words: Moon Power: Make-up!"

"Moon Power: Make-Up!" Sailor-suited? Like the school uniform? I really hope I can change the outfit.

Instantly a shroud of light wrapped around Usagi like a cocoon. Her clothes vanished as she hung there, and streamers of brighter light wrapped around her, forming knee-high boots, elbow-length gloves, and the eponymous sailor suit, including a skirt that was definitely not appropriate for school.

"I have got to make that faster," she grumbled, falling back into a ready stance.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm waiting to get attacked. Isn't that always how these things start out?"

"I did notice an operation going on in the area, but not here. The jewelry store you were at earlier—"

"Naru!" Usagi yelled, and bolted out the window and across the rooftops toward the Osa-P. Hell's bells! I won't let her be a death by origin story statistic! Come on, universe. Cut me a little slack here! She dropped to the ground and literally smashed through the door to find the store full of unconscious bodies.

The only exception was a twisted purple figure, which was holding a struggling Naru pinned to the wall by her neck. It turned its head a full 180 at the sound, but Usagi threw herself at it without hesitation. She kicked the creature into the far wall, feeling something break beneath her feet and paused only for a second to check that the redhead was still breathing. Naru's neck was bruised badly, but she was alive and conscious enough to whimper.

She's entering shock, or she's possessed, Usagi thought to herself. She put Naru out of harm's way on the assumption it was the second, but kept her in the corner of her eye.

"You," the twisted woman began, only for Usagi to dart forward and deck her a second time, forcing her neck into another owl-like twist. The monster hit the ground, only to shoot back into the air like a ghost. "Rise up my minions!" it called, and the figures on the floor began to stir.

Of course she can fly, Usagi thought to herself. Great, she's out of my range and everyone except Naru is brainwashed, Usagi noted as the people all got to their feet and stumbled towards her like zombies.

"Sailor Moon!" called Luna, running through the broken door and into the store. "Those people are possessed and under the youma's thrall! You need to destroy it to free them!"

"I guessed," Usagi deadpanned. One of the puppets stumbled into arm's reach and she darted forward and buried a fist in their stomach. The person folded like cardboard and went flying back, but now the rest were getting too close for comfort.

"Seize her!" the youma commanded, and they stretched out their arms to do so. "Rip her to shreds and devour the pieces!"

Usagi grabbed one pair of outstretched arms, pivoted, and swung the poor meat-puppet around like a flail. The man's feet and legs hit his fellow zombie's head painfully fast. The other bodies hit the ground hard, and Usagi swung around once more and threw him into a pile-up that wasn't in range yet.

"What are you doing!" Luna shrieked. "Those are innocent people!"

"Don't yell at me for saving their lives," Moon snapped, "tell me how to kill that thing!"

"The Dark Kingdom shall never die!" it screamed, hanging in the air like a spider on a web. "I am Morga, and I will—argh!" Out of nowhere a rose had flown across the room and buried itself in her chest. It didn't appear to be a lethal wound, but it apparently hurt like hell.

"This is not what I was expecting to find tonight," began a man in a tuxedo and mask from the far side of the room as Morga dropped to the floor, "but never mind. Monster, I am Tuxedo Kamen, and—"

Usagi cut him off as Morga came back within her range by exploding across the room and smashing her face in with a right hook. The youma went tumbling back and hit the wall, only for Usagi to jump and kick her through the wall into the back room.

"Sailor Moon, brute force won't work against an enemy like this! You need to use magic!"

"Stop whining and tell me how," the blonde countered, jumping back as the youma stumbled back to its feet. It definitely didn't look very healthy at the moment, even for a soul-sucking monster.

"Grab your tiara and call Moon Tiara Magic!" Luna called desperately, hoping she was remembering correctly. She knew that one of the senshi had had a spell like that—at least, she'd seen someone do it at some point. The fact that the senshi couldn't remember her own spells might be a problem.

Usagi plucked the circlet off of her head. "Moon Tiara Magic!" The metal transformed into a glowing disk of light. "Cutesy," the blonde commented, as the meat-puppets began to get back up. Morga definitely looked like she wanted to run, but had nowhere to go.

"I—" the youma began, only for Usagi to dart forward and shove the tiara between her eyes.

"You were supposed to throw it" Luna said weakly, as the youma collapsed into dusk and disintegrated.

"It worked, didn't it?" Usagi asked, turning around and walking towards the door. She stopped a few times to move people out of the way, or clear away some broken glass, or pick up something. Then they both heard the faint sound of sirens in the distance. "We should leave, huh?"

"Yes, let's," Luna said. "The world is not yet ready for the truth about what hides in the darkness." The two of them disappeared into the night. And if Naru's store was discovered to be missing a pair of pearl earrings set in silver when they did inventory, they just wrote it off as lost in the chaos.

"Now that that is out of the way," Usagi said once she and Luna had slipped back through the window into her room, and Luna yelped as Usagi hoisted her up by the scruff of her neck, "I believe that you owe me some answers." Luna whimpered, remembering not only what the blonde had done earlier that day among her friends, but what she had done to the youma earlier—completely manhandling it with ridiculous ease.

"What do you want to know?" she asked weakly. Good lord, she's quite the little sociopath. I almost feel sorry about siccing her on the Dark Kingdom. Almost.

"What's a youma, where do they come from, what do they want, and what's a senshi?" Usagi rattled off.
"After that I'll see where things go from there. Just let me…" she slipped into her desk chair and pulled up a web browser and blank document.

"What are you doing?"

"Making a list," Usagi told her. "Now talk."

"Ahem. Yes, well, to begin with I need to tell you the story of the Silver Millennium."

"Ancient magical kingdom?"

"Yes, how did you know?"

"What else was it going to be? I mean, they used magical girls as soldiers, so it was either that or an alternate dimension thingy. Or aliens, I guess. Lay it on me."

"Very well, then. The Silver Millennium was a kingdom that existed thousands of years ago, but not on Earth. It was centered on the moon, and had spread out to all the other planets of the solar system."

"Even Earth?"

"Earth was the one planet that had not joined the Millennium, but plans were being made to join when the Silver Millennium fell. Magic was much more prominent then than it is now, and central to the Silver Millennium was the Silver Crystal, or Ginzuisho—a powerful magical artifact held and used by Queen Serenity of the moon. A mortal sorceress named Beryl made a pact with a demon, and together the two of them raised an army of evil-hearted people whom they gave transformed into youma and used to conquer the Silver Millennium."

"Okay. So that thing used to be a person…what were the senshi?"

"The senshi," Luna continued, "were the champions of the realm. In fact, the existence of senshi has religious connection back to Cosmos herself."

"A goddess?" Usagi asked.

"Very close. Sailor Cosmos was the first of the Sailor Senshi, and the strongest." Usagi snorted. "What?" Luna asked, confused by her reaction, and a little offended by the fact that the blonder didn't understand how incredible Cosmos had been.

"I just think it's sort of sad whenever people say, 'the first and the best,'" the blonde answered. "The first time you write a paper, it's a rough draft and it sucks. The first time you sing a song you're off tune and you stumble on the lyrics. The first time you run a race you fall flat on your face and lose. And then you get better. Saying that the first was the best means that ever since then they've only gotten worse. I can't really respect that."

"I suppose I see your point," Luna admitted, "but things aren't so cut and dry. Sailor Cosmos was the greatest because of her raw power. She was connected to and drew her power from the Galaxy Cauldron and all the stars within it. All the senshi since then have only been connected to individual stars or planets. Or in your case, a moon. There may also be a few asteroids and comets, somewhere. No comparison."

"Alright, I guess I can see that. Go on."

"Cosmos brought an age of peace and light to the galaxy, forcing the darkness to flee, but even she was not immortal. Or, as some people say, she could have been immortal, but chose mortality rather than ruling as a goddess over the galaxy forever. She was very selfless." Usagi very carefully didn't comment. "Before her death, she did…something. She wove the existence of senshi into the fabric of the universe to serve as champions of the future. Each of them bound to a celestial body from which they drew their power."

"And I'm bound to the moon?"

"As your name implies. There were senshi in the Silver Millennium acting as its champions. In fact, senshi from all across the galaxy would come to the court to learn to use their powers."

"Why?"

"Because the royal family of the moon were direct, blood descendants of Cosmos herself, and her power flowed in their veins. The Ginzuisho was rumored to have been given to them by their progenitor so that they could serve her will after she was gone. It was the center of learning about senshi, until Beryl attacked."

"What happened with the attack? How did she win, anyways?"

"Beryl attacked us by surprise, at a time when we were weaker than usual."

"How weak?"

"Most people had lowered their guard to celebrate the princess's coming of age and engagement, and several of the senshi were relatively new to their positions."

"And she took advantage. I saw that coming a mile away."

"When almost everyone was dead and the queen realized the war was lost, she used the Silver Crystal. At the cost of her own life, she sealed away the Dark Kingdom for several thousand years and sent the souls and powers of the sailor senshi forward to reincarnate so that they could stop the darkness once and for all. And you, Usagi Tsukino, are one of these reincarnated warriors upon whose shoulders the fate of the world rests."

The blonde nodded dumbly. "Alright, I get it. Geez. Okay, what can a senshi do? What powers do I get from this gig?"

"More than I can easily remember," Luna admitted, "but there are several that are particularly important. First, obviously, is the magic you used to kill the youma. You'll get more and more powerful spells as your power grows, often centered around an elemental theme. I'm not sure from yours what your element is…perhaps light, or the ability to channel raw energy through objects. Also, enhanced physical abilities, such as when you leapt across the roofs earlier, or kicked that youma through the wall."

"Any other stuff?" Usagi asked, still typing on the computer.

"Enhanced healing. Disguise magic to protect your identity. Some level of extrasensory perception. It depends on the senshi."

So basically, I'm being left a loophole for new powers as the plot demands, Usagi thought to herself.

"First thing's first, then. Can't I have a more appropriate outfit or something? I'm supposed to be a warrior. Or a faster transformation? And do I really need a brooch to transform?"

"Is your amulet a problem?" Luna asked.

"Hell yes! Peter's rule number five: 'the artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness'. Issendai's rule twenty-five: 'I will not allow the center of my powers, and thus the fate of whatever I am protecting, to depend on a gem, stone, or any object smaller than a grapefruit, which could be easily stolen, lost, or accidentally flushed down the toilet'. In short, don't leave the source of your power around where anyone can find it, like pinned to your blouse!"

"Wait…whose rules?" Luna asked, bemused.

"It's a thing on the internet," Usagi answered shortly. "Do I have to have this thing on me at all times, or can I leave it in my safety deposit box and still transform?"

"You need it with you," Luna replied. "I know it seems like a vulnerability, but Cosmos made it that way so that a senshi who went bad could be stopped by stealing their transformation talisman. And you have it easy. Most amulets I've seen are wands or pens or some form. At least you can pin yours to your clothes."

"But I have to have it on me," Usagi clarified wearily.

"Yes, you do. A high-level senshi, such as a Crystal- or Sacred-class senshi might find the amulet unnecessary, but it will be years before you reach that level."

"If most of them are in a different shape, that means these can change shape, right? Can't you make this something easier to keep track of?" Usagi asked hopefully. Luna squirmed uncomfortably.

"…Theoretically, yes," the cat admitted, "but I don't remember how. My memories were rather swiss-cheesed when I was reincarnated." Usagi groaned.

"Alright, I guess I'm not getting any slack on this. Now what did you mean by sacred and crystal class?"

"There are several power levels senshi can achieve, each one unlocking more spells and abilities. At the moment you are only at the basic level, but as you grow you'll become more powerful."

"And the levels are…?"

"Basic, where you are. Prism, planet, crisis, crystal, sacred, star, eternal. As you grow you'll gain the ability to do more and more, though you probably will never achieve Eternal status. there's only been one or two of them since Cosmos. Also, if you choose to pass your powers on to a successor, they'll begin as 'lesser' senshi."

"Is there any way to speed up how fast I power up?" Usagi asked intently, pausing to turn away from the computer. "I think I'll need all the help I can get if it's just me against the Dark Kingdom."

"Just using your powers is all," Luna explained. "That being said, you won't be alone. I hopefully will find and awaken the other reincarnated senshi as well."

"Can I help? Who should we look out for?"

"Mercury, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter. They should all be at about your age, and female, but beyond that I don't know."

"I'll keep a lookout for them," Usagi promised, still typing away. "No Earth? No Saturn or Uranus?"

"Earth never had a senshi," Luna responded, "and I can't remember a Saturn or Uranus. If they existed, I didn't know them."

"Wonderful," Usagi said drily. "I still have some issues. Is there any way I can transform faster?"

"Faster? Your transformation only took a second or two."

"Really? It felt a lot longer," Usagi mused. I'll have to clock it later. "The uniform, then. Can't I get something more protective? Like with a helmet or something?"

"Higher level senshi can alter their uniform a little, but overall the outfit is what you're stuck with. You shouldn't need anything else, though. It provides a lot of protection."

"Protection? It's a sailor fuku! A cutesy school uniform!"

"A sailor fuku made of knife-,bullet-, and magic-proof material and enchanted to act as magical armor," Luna said drily. Usagi sighed in defeat and repeated a rule from the list to herself.

'I will resist the urge to dropkick the obscenely cute and fuzzy whatsit which follows my party around. There's no telling what powers it has.' Speaking of that, though…

"Luna, what magical powers do you have? Will you be able to help me?"

"I'm not as powerful as I once was," Luna said non-committally, with just a touch of embarassment. "My main purpose is to act as an advisor and find the other senshi, as well as sniff out Dark Kingdom activities. You're mostly on your own for the fighting." The black cat with the crescent moon mark sounded rather apologetic about it.

"I'll live with it, or die trying," Usagi stated flatly, closing out of her windows and shutting the computer off. She still had things she wanted to know, but also knew that it was late, and important things would slip her mind if she kept going, so she decided to turn in.

I just have to hope I have plot armor, Usagi thought to herself, turning in.

Usagi's list for living as a magical girl: (typed while talking to Luna)

*Changing my hair might be a giveaway that something is going on (and I don't want to) so I'll wait until something grabs it before I cut it, but will be willing to do so at any time.

*That guy in Tux will either be a love-interest or will betray me. Or both. Maintain healthy levels of skepticism and self-sufficiency.

*Hope like hell that the universe plays things straight instead of deconstructing, or else I'm f***ed.

*Since magic is real, read up on all myths and legends in case I come across a vampire or zombie. Similarly, find out if there is a masquerade I need to be let in on.

*Assume that other people somewhere will have some skills with magic, and try to learn it. It can only help.

*Start carrying mace, a knife, and a towel (and if possible a gun) at all times.

*Find some way to conceal my stupid brooch. (Pin it on the inside of my blouse? Hide it in my hair?)

*Test out how well my fuku actually protects me. Try to work in a helmet if unsatisfied. Also, make sure that it actually protects my identity.

*Scout out the other side: their methods, are they recruiting, how powerful are they, how many, etc.

*Nine times in ten a transfer student will probably be a new senshi. Befriend them as soon as possible, and be ready to [convert or] kill them if they turn out to be a youma.

*Once I find the others, try to fade in the background and be their sidekick so that no one will pay any attention to me.

*Resist the urge to dropkick Luna. It's not her fault that the plot makes her be stupidly vague and unhelpful, and she might be powerful enough to waste me.

*It was implied that aliens exist on other planets. Research ASAP.

*Take the monster out as quickly and quietly as possible—from behind preferably. Good publicity from saving people is good, but only when I don't risk being zerg rushed, ambushed, assassinated, or captured. I'll end up getting credit for it anyways, the way these things go.

*Find out whether I'll be a senshi for the rest of my life or not and what that entails. Focus on schoolwork and life-skills accordingly.

*Learn if I can fly or teleport.

*Kill every enemy I can so that they don't take back information on me or become annoying recurring villains or worse—rivals.

*Listen to what old people tell me, especially about monsters. In fact, wring every piece of information I can out of them, using all of my young-and-cute wiles.

*Carry salt and other weapons in case of tentacles. Remember that some things are better left to the JSDF.

*Travelers from the future, especially annoying kids, are likely to be my kids. Pump them for any and all helpful hints using maternal force.

*Carefully ask parents about family history. Am I 100% human? Are there any curses we might be susceptible to?

*Ask Luna about unpleasant secrets involved in being a senshi. Does it shorten people's life spans or risk them turning into monsters?

*If I end up against a pathetic boss, keep them as long as possible so that no one worse takes their place.

*Hit on villains/monsters that appear to be male. Or female, for that matter, it's not like I care, and either way it'll freak them out. After all, I'm a soldier for justice and love.

*Assume until proven otherwise that the Dark Kingdom can find and read the Overlord List, if they have not already!

So ends the first chapter of Übermensch. I'd like to credit Sage of the Toads for inspiring this story with a running gag in his story Beautiful Destroyer Sailor Moon. I won't say what the gag was, but it shows up in the first chapter and again when Usagi meets Makoto.

Tell me if you liked it, or it sucks.