Tapping his pen impatiently against the top of his desk, Lovino watched his phone with an irritated, bored scowl. Antonio, his partner, noticing Lovino's scowl, walked over with a cup of coffee and leaned down on Lovino's shoulder. " Staring at it won't make us get any new cases," Antonio commented as he took a small sip. Crinkling his nose at the scent of cheap coffee, Lovino flicked Antonio's forehead and shoved him off," Like hell it won't. I'm bored out of my mind and I know as certain as the sky is blue that something is going to happen soon."

"Maybe they won't assign it to us."

"They better. I've been on paperwork for the last 2 weeks."

Antonio blinked in surprise as he took another sip," Paperwork is important."

"Solving crime is more important," Lovino retorted.

Just then, Lovino's phone finally went off, vibrating furiously as the name 'Captain' flashed on its screen. Smirking knowingly at Antonio as he picked up the cell, Lovino smugly answered," Ciao, this is Detective Lovino."

"This is Captain Dale. Fancy pants, you and smiley," Antonio perked up as he heard his nickname," are to report to Section G of Highway 309. It looks like we had an accident that might not have been an accident."

"Understood, I'll be there in 10." Lovino answered as he stood and grabbed his navy jacket.

Hanging up his phone with a click, Lovino picked up his keys and threw them at Antonio," You're driving this time."

Antonio caught the keys and grinned as he set his coffee mug down on the hated paperwork and grabbed his cap," Where to, Lovi?"

"To the open road," Lovino answered with a smirk as he grabbed Antonio by the collar of his shirt and pulled him out of the station.

A long whistle echoed above the bustling and huffing of cars as Antonio and Lovino looked down at the bloody carcass at their feet. Antonio was first to approach the dead man as he whistled again," Geez, whoever hit him did quite a number."

Ignoring Antonio's comment, Lovino turned to the first reported officer quite calmly," Give me a report. What happened? Who is he? Who hit him?"

The officer who was a mousy brunette, handed his observations and papers over," Appears like a case of hit and run. We haven't identified the victim as his face is…um.. torn up. But he appears to be 5' 6", dark skinned and the suspect's car is a 09' blue Toyota corolla."

"Send an alert to every cop in a 20 mile radius."

"Captain Dale has the alert out for 30 mile radius."

"Good. Do we have footage?"

"Yes, we're getting permission from the Highway Agency's CCTV sector."

"I want all the footage from yesterday and this morning on this strip of the highway starting at the last exit and ending at the next."

Antonio who was bending over and examining the body, waved with a gloved hand to get Lovino's attention," You also might want to look for a car that has to get its front and back fenders replaced."

"Hmm?"

Antonio pointed to the victim's torso and head," He ran over the guy more than once. Look at the irregular locations of the bruising and lacerations."

The officer's face scrunched into a confused expression," What does that have to do with fenders?"

" It looks like the guy got up after he was first hit and he probably dented the front fender when he was hit by the front of the car and then by the back as the driver backed up to run over him again."

" Who runs over a man more than once?"

Lovino answered this time as he eyed the blood splatters on the asphalt and then glanced up at the trees surrounding the road," An idiot who doesn't know the first thing about homicide."

Yawning, Lovino glanced over at Antonio who had already fallen asleep with his mouth open and drool dribbling from the corner of his mouth. He jostled the man awake," Oy, idiot. We still have 3 hours' worth of footage to watch."

Blinking as he wiped the sleep from his eyes, Antonio smiled cherubically at Lovino," Oh? We didn't finish?"

"You fell asleep around hour 5. I've been watching the rest by myself so you finish the last 3."

"Alright, Lovi, but isn't then where all the events happen?"

"Too tired, besides, you're better at noticing things in video footage."

"You mean I pay attention more."

"Whatever, idiot. Just keep your eyes peeled," Lovino yawned again and leaned back on the couch. He quickly fell asleep and Antonio was left with a brightly lit tv screen showing the stretch of road that had perplexed them for the last 24 hours. Shrugging as he laid his blanket on top of Lovino's sleeping form; Antonio put on his headset and clicked the play button.

The screen became slightly static as the timeframe showed it to be about a few minutes before 3 in the morning. Antonio's green eyes focused hypnotically on the occasional passing cars and he noticed a rustling in the bushes to the left of the highway. Tilting his head curiously, he zoomed into the spot and was startled to come face to face with the victim. The victim was lurking hesitantly as though fearful of being seen before he made a mad dash. Just as he passed the midline that separated the two directions of traffic, a blue corolla appeared on the right corner. The victim seemed to pause before suddenly dashing forward, his eyes wide in fear. The blue car's tires squealed as it sharply turned and seemed to chase after the victim finally gaining on him in the second lane and running him down. The car stopped and the victim groaned before staggering to his feet again. Suddenly, the car revved back to light and rolled back, hitting the victim again and running over his body back and forth like a rolling pin before it finally sped away with its tires streaking blood in its trail. Antonio thought he was going to puke. He had an idea of the situation from the terrible state of the victim's body but he didn't think…. Oh god.

Trembling, he turned off the tape and huddled closer to Lovino, whispering softly in the other man's ear," Lovi? Lovi? I think you might want to see this."

" It doesn't make any sense."

" I know, Lovi. But there has to be some connection. Why else would you make sure that the man you ran over was dead."

Lovino sighed exasperatedly before throwing the manila folder at Antonio, "But we don't even know who the victim is!"

Opening his mouth but quickly closing as if he had a second thought, Antonio could only
scrunch his face into a thoughtful expression as he caught the folder and started to walk to the interrogation room," Maybe we can get it from the suspect."

Lovino startled, fell into step next to Antonio as they walked the hall to the interrogation room," So, am I playing bad cop this time?"

" Lovi, you always play bad cop!" Antonio chirped as they stopped outside the door.

" Che, only because you can't stop smiling whenever we do this."

His face breaking into an eerie smile, Antonio winked playfully at Lovino and pushed open the door. He was greeted by a man in his 40s who had a stubbly beard around his strange smile and dark eyes that glanced up and analyzed the two as they took their seats in front of him.

"Good morning, officers-."

Lovino smirked and cut him off with harsh remark," Let's cut the bullcrap and get to business. You are Jeremy Flemming?"

The man nodded his head.

As Antonio watched the suspect adjust his carefully done tie, Lovino opened the folder and scanned through the contents," You own a blue Corolla that has recently fixed some interesting dents."

"I accidently ran over a poor deer and I needed to get my car fixed."

"You ran over it more than once," Lovino stated skeptically as his eyes were still fixed on the folder.

"I didn't mean to… I was pulling back to see if it was alright and turns out I ran over it again," the suspect answered with a regretful sigh as Antonio's smile twitched before it gained its usual cheeriness.

Lovino's mouth twisted into a smirk and his eyes sharpened," You know, you must be a
bigger dumbass than I thought if that's what you were planning to feed us. You can take back your lie, we have you on camera running over this man." He tossed a picture of the victim onto the table and the suspect craned his neck to get a good look. " I've never seen this man before in my life."

Antonio cheerfully piped up as his smile became more and more predatory," You're lying."

Startled, a flash of fear flashed in the suspect's dark eyes before it gained its usual sharpness," I am not. Hey? Are the two of you dating?"

This flustered Lovino as he scoffed and flushed red before snarling at the suspect," No, that is Officer Carriedo. My investigative partner." Antonio who pouted at Lovino's scoff, whined as though he was hurt," But- but Lovi. You know we're more than that." The suspect smiled as he quirked," Lovi?" Lovino became even more flustered and his cheeks grew embarrassingly red," Shut up, Antonio! And you! Don't say a word!"

Antonio smiled pleasantly as he started to explain, to Lovino's despair," Well, Detective Vargas and I go way back. We're childhood friends."

" Lovi! Lovi! Wait up!" Antonio, age 10, shouted as he scrambled up the hillside, trying to get Lovino to slow down. Lovino, age 8, glanced back as he laughed and ran faster," Antonio! You're such a slowpoke!" Spurred on by the tease, Antonio eventually caught up to Lovino and leapt on top of him, sending both of them tumbled down the other side of the gently sloped, grassy hill with the momentum. Panting as they landed at the foot of the hill, they laid on their backs in the grass as Antonio smiled with his innocent green eyes and Lovino laughed with a joyous trill. " You bastard, Now we have to climb up there again," Lovino complained but words were more teasing than biting.

"But I'm comfortable right here," Antonio whined.

"Too bad." But neither made a move to get up. After a long pause, Antonio was first to pipe up," Hey, hey, Lovi?"

"Yeah, bastard?"

"When we grow up…. I still want to hang out with you."

Lovino tilted his head," I thought we always are."

Antonio sighed with a prick of guilt in his eyes," I know, but I want you to know just in case."

Lovino reached over and punched Antonio's shoulder as he smiled," Don't scare me like that, idiot! I thought something was going to be wrong."

The suspect listened thoughtfully as Antonio finished talking. He then asked," And then what happened?"

Lovino who's scowl lessen, sudden furrowed his brows again and quipped," And then the bastard had the guts to move away without telling me."

" Lovi, I said I was sorry." Antonio stated with an apologetic expression as his eyes fluttered and his lips were spread in a small pout.

"That doesn't mean you weren't a jerk then." Lovino snarked before his expression grew gentler and more reminiscent," You're just lucky we ended up going to the same middle and high school."

"And the same police academy," Antonio trilled in.

"Yeah, and now we're partner- wait! We're supposed to be interrogating you! Not the other way around!"

The suspect smile morphed into a smirk as he casually shrugged his shoulders," Guess you aren't very good at your job then, Officer Vargas."

Hazel eyes lighting up in anger, Lovino had to be held back as his temper snapped and he started shouting expletives. Antonio's smile didn't falter as he dragged Lovino out of the room and ended the interrogation for now.

"Detective Vargas! Detective Vargas!"

"What!" Lovino snapped as he turned around to see who was calling his name so annoyingly. His scowl faltered when he came face to face with Officer Toris (or Liet, as his partner preferred to call him) looking very flustered as he froze with his hand holding a folder out to Lovino.

"Ah, I'm sorry for bothering you. But this is for you."

Feeling guilty at misdirecting his anger, Lovino tried to look friendlier as he took the folder and thanked Toris," Ah, grazie, Toris. What's this about?"

Toris smiled with an underlying excitement," We finally identified the victim of your case."

Lovino's eyes widened in surprise as he snapped open the folder and scanned the black lettering as Toris continued to brief him," Turns out he wasn't a US citizen and we alerted some police forces down south and up north."

"Oh…. You've got to be f*cking kidding me," Lovino stated bluntly as he finished reading. Nearby, Antonio whose ears perked up at Lovino's irritated mumbles, started to saunter over.

"Ah, yes. Turns out he's Jorge Valasequez."

"A f*cking Mexican crimelord. Are you f*cking kidding me!?"

"He's actually Venezuelan." Toris interjected helpfully. By now, Antonio was right behind Lovino.

Lovino could feel grey hairs starting to grow in as he groaned," ….. This just complicates things. Why the f*ck is a Mexican-." " Venezuelan," Antonio commented as he leaned over Lovino's shoulder to see the papers.

"Fine, what the f*ck is a Venezuelan crimelord doing here in the Northeast?"

"Maybe he wanted to try some of our delicious cheesesteaks?" Antonio joked as he took the folder from Lovino's hands for a closer look.

Rolling his eyes, Lovino stated sarcastically," Yeah and maybe next we'll have dictators dropping by to try our pretzels."

Evidence and clues lying scattered on their wooden flooring, Lovino studied each piece of paper as though he was trying to see some hidden image in each. Eventually he huffed in frustration and fell back to rest on the floor. Making some hot cocoa on the kitchen counter, Antonio peeked out to make sure Lovino was alright before returning his attention to the hot cocoas. Putting the two steaming mugs, one with the cheery image of a cartoon turtle, the other with Lovino's family photo, on a tray, Antonio walked over and handed a cup to Lovino," Hey Lovi, why don't you take a break?"

Lovino grunting as he sat up and accepted the cup," It just doesn't seem to fit together, Tonio. What does a South American crimelord have any connection with Jeremy Flemming? Flemming hasn't even visited Venezuela before."

Antonio sat down next to Lovino as he peered at the evidence all around him. He took a small sip of his cocoa and winced as he burned his tongue," Maybe Valasequez did something that hurt Flemming or his family?"

Lovino shook as his head as he blew on his cup to cool it," Both his parents are alive. Both pairs of his grandparents died in their sleep. His younger sister is attending college and his older brother works in a law firm. No wife. No cases of sudden deaths in his close extended family either. His family was sure as hell lucky."

"Then why would a perfectly good, law abiding citizen kill Valasequez?"

"That's what I was wondering for the last hour,idiot!" Lovino interjected as he took a gulping swig of his cocoa and wrinkled his nose in distaste," Did you use instant cocoa again, Toni? Where's my coffee?"

Antonio hid his grin behind his cup," You said no coffee till we're done with this case. Something about being motivated to finish our job in a timely manner."

"Oh f*ck my life." Lovino slammed his mug down and picked up the papers again.

"Hey, why don't we start at the beginning and get Valasequez records?"

"Alright but we're gonna need to make a few phone calls first."

After many angry phone calls and Antonio translating (and censoring) for Lovino in his best Spanish, they finally managed to get their hands on Valasequez criminal and domestic records. With Antonio's mother on standby for help in translating the definitively Spanish records (and because she promised cookies later that evening), Antonio and Lovino managed to sort their way through the brick thick stack of papers.

"Remind me never again to take a case with a foreign victim."

" Lovi, it isn't that bad," Antonio teased as his eyes scanned yet another piece of paper.

"I never want to read anything Spanish again, see anything Spanish again. Hell! I don't even want to eat burritos or tortillas anymore!"

Chuckling, Antonio calmed Lovino with a quick kiss to his pouty cheeks and handed him a piece of paper," Another piece of evidence for the great detective Lovino."

Puffing his chest in mock pride, Lovino snatched the paper and glanced down at it," Huh?"

" What is it?"

"It says the Venezuelan police had a manhunt for the guy but they couldn't find him."

"Si, of course, because he managed to come up here."

"But he must have been smuggled out otherwise he would have been caught at customs," Lovino stated with furrowed brows. Hand on his chin, Lovino was busy thinking to notice Antonio's suddenly brightened expression as though a lightbulb finally went off in his head.

" Lovi, does Flemming own a warehouse or any other properties?"

Lovino fixed a quizzical look on Antonio," He owns 3 warehouses and 5 construction companies. Why?"

Standing up as he grabbed his cap, Antonio gestured for Lovino to do the same," Let's go pay a visit to them. I have a feeling, we'll find the answers we need there."

Jeremy Flemming was pretty confident. He was confident that the bumbling detective Vargas would never figure his motive out. No motive, he could get away with manslaughter at the max. Che, Italians were all the same. They were too lazy and easygoing and clearly not cut out for police work. And that gay, childhood friend/partner of his, Officer Carriedo, was an idiot. He supposed he had his lucky stars to thank that he got such incompetent law enforcers on his case.

He was currently back in the tiny interrogation room waiting for the two bumbling partner to enter. Suddenly the door slammed open and Detective Vargas was first to enter with a shit eating grin plastered on his face. Officer Antonio followed his lead like a cheerful, stupid puppy.

Confused as to their eager expressions, Flemming spoke warily," Hello, Officer Carriedo, detective Vargas."

Lovino was first to growl out a reply," You're one sick motherf**ker, do you know that?"

"Excuse me?"

Antonio leaned back with a smile as he watched Lovino take on a predatory stance and start his explanation," You! You sick little, twisted bastard run a human trafficking ring! You take in illegal immigrants from poorer countries then you bring them here and cheat them of any fair chance to improve their lives."

Flemming's mouth dropped open as his eyes widened in fear.

Lovino continued, thoroughly enjoying Flemming's gaping expression," Yeah, I figured it out. You use the warehouse to house them and then use them as slave labor for your construction companies. And they have no idea you're cheating them of their wages because they don't even understand English. But you know who did? Who was the first to realize that he didn't want to be cheated? Valasequez."

Flemming stiffened in fear.

" Valasequez recognized what you were doing, because he ran a prostitution ring himself at one point and on the first chance he could he tried to run away. What he didn't realize is how careful you are. You made sure to put a tracking device in each of the laborers clothes so you know at all times where your labor was. When you realized where he was running away, you couldn't risk him telling everyone about what you were doing and alerting the cops. So you decided to kill him, afterall, you couldn't let him go. He was too far inland and too near your home. You tracked him to Highway 309 and then proceeded run him over, trying to make it look like an accident."

Antonio couldn't be prouder of Lovino as he stood and walked to Flemming, snapping a pair of handcuffs on his clean, pale wrists and chirping happily," Looks like we can charge you for premeditated murder now~"

Sighing contently as he leaned back on his couch, Lovino let a faint grin grace his lips," Hell yeah, it feels fantastic whenever we finish a case."

Antonio chuckled in response and rose to head to the kitchen as he ruffled Lovino's hair affectionately," Do you finally want your cup of coffee now?"

" Si, and you better not make any of the instant shit or I'm tasing you between your eyes." Lovino shouted after Antonio with a playful smirk.

Smiling widely, Antonio cheerfully hummed under his breath as he reached into the cabinet for a box of Maxwell instant coffee," Does the tasing come with a kiss?"

" Hell no!"

" Well, it doesn't hurt to try~."

* This story is purely fictional they are not based on any people or events.

hahaha...

I wanted to do a fairly serious mystery fic. ;w;

But the Spamano in me couldn't leave. I fail at this... xDD

*Isn't Antonio so much cooler as a police officer? He's the one who realized that the suspect is running a prostitution ring and Lovino pieces the stories together. They're like a really good tag team.

* They're not really a couple. They've just always been close with each other. They're just each other's most important person in this AU. (Not sleeping together, but they do live together).

*I feel like I made Antonio a masochist toward the end xD.

Please Review~~~~~