A/N: I should be studying for my Chemistry exam. But I can't. I just can't. I think all of the things I learned from the AP classes I took when I was in high school got flushed with the rest of my green poo last summer.
Another whimsical, if not nonsensical, chapter. Please pardon the writer; she had too much caffeine and no definite plot in her system. I'll reply to all of your reviews ASAP (which means after exam week commences).
Thank you very much to storyteller1425 for her (extremely) decisive betareading! I just hope that as the story progresses, I'm not ruining her summer in the process. Have I mentioned before that she's awesome? Really? I did? Can I say that she's awesome one more time?
Chapter 3: Step 3: Getting Arrested
"Percy?"
"Oh. Hey, Annabeth. Wait, why aren't you calling from your phone? Something wrong?"
"How far are you from Middlesex?"
"ETA's about four minutes to your apartment. We had free-cut in Geography – a trusted source said Prof. Weinburger contracted herpes and had to take a leave. Everything all right?"
"Um, I need you to drop by at Middlesex County – "
"What? Why?"
" – because I've been held up here for a few hours and they aren't budging and I really need your – "
"Holy Zeus, Annabeth! Who's they? And dare poop tell why you're in a city county for gods' sakes."
"Percy, gods, we don't have time for – are you already in the apartment?"
"Uhh, no, actually. I stopped a few blocks away when you freakin' dropped the bomb about you being arrested, and I don't want Paul getting all Medusa on me for slamming his hatchback on a fire hydrant – "
"Shit, Percy, you have to hurry to my apartment – !"
"You said I have to go to Middlesex Coun – "
"NO! UGH! JUST GET MY EMERGENCY ATM CARD BACK AT THE APARTMENT! I NEED TO BAIL MYSELF OUT BUT I CAN'T DO THAT BECAUSE THEY WON'T LET ME OUT AND THEY DON'T HAVE TELLERS INSIDE THIS FREAKIN' RATHOLE AND I ONLY HAVE ONE CALL – "
"Annabeth, baby, please don't freak out. Calm down. Don't worry, don't worry; I'll get you out. Man, you ladies shriek like a banshee; I fucking can't feel my eardrums anymore."
"Would you please hurry?"
"Your wish, my command. I'm already at the doorstep. Now, where's the fucking spare – aha! I'm coming in, Annabeth. I'm coming inside your apartment. Here, here, here – um, where'd you put the card again?"
"It's in my sock drawer."
"You have a drawer for your socks?"
"GET THE FUCKING CARD ALREADY OR I'LL RIP YOUR – !"
"Alright, alright! Sheesh, I was just a – okay, got it. Now, where to?"
"There's a teller a few yards away in a convenience store. Please get ten grand and a few hundreds – "
"Your bail's ten thousand dollars? What the Hades – "
"Are you there yet?"
" – is wrong with –oh, I'm almost there. Give me a minute. Okay… Mother of Zeus, how do you work this thing? Jeez… Uh, Annabeth? The thing is asking for your PIN. What's your PIN?"
"…"
"Annabeth, this machine is totally haranguing me for your six numbers."
"…"
"I thought we don't have – "
"It's your birthday."
"My what?"
"Your birthday. Our anniversary. That enough of an explanation for you? Please cash out my bail, Percy."
"Okay."
"…"
"…"
"Done?"
"Yeah. Yeah, it's done. I'm just… surprised how much you've amassed from designing New Olympus. But, wait, I thought the gods paid you with drachmas."
"There's a money changer at the left wing of the headquarters for the Muses."
"Oh."
"Give me an ETA, Percy. I'm really sorry, but I'm really freaking out."
"So I've heard. Umm… I'll be there in thirty minutes, if I'm in the mood to follow Middlesex's speed limit. Which I'm not."
"Okay. Thank you."
"So, what happened?"
"Ugh, Percy, everything was so sudden! I've been telling the guards that I can't be in jail or I'll lose my scholarship – or my eligibility at MIT for that matter – but they aren't budging, like I told you before, and they said the only thing that is within my rights is that I can have one phone call – and thank the gods you picked up on the first ring."
"Annabeth?"
"Uh-huh?"
"I'm still waiting for you to tell me what happened."
"Well, I was hoping we could talk about this when I'm out of here, but all right. There's this huge gridlock a few miles after I got off from MIT. I was at the front-liners, and there was this huge truck full of crates of vegetables and there were farm animals and they fell off from the – "
"Farm animals?"
"Yeah! And they were pretty weak-looking ones, too. I saw the owner and the driver of the truck come out when the lock from the backside gave away. And they looked funny; long noses and sagging cheeks and all that. They walked funny. Then I noticed their faces morphed and morphed and morphed, and then I realized that the distortion was because of the Mist. I had my knife ready, and then – "
"You attacked the monsters and the mortals thought that you were dislodging real human beings so they got you arrested?"
"Uhh, no. That actually didn't happen."
"…"
"…"
"… I'm lost."
"Well, I had a momentary backtrack and then I realized that they were Monopods. Greek traders. Monsters, yes, but harmless ones."
"So?"
"So, I didn't attack. But there was this traffic-control police guy, and he was yelling at the two cows and the goats about how slow they were, and I got irritated. And then he started kicking a sheep that already had a bad leg and then suddenly – I don't know what came over me – I was out of the car and I punched the guy and he fell into a hill of poo, and I was so shocked I didn't move and I just waited for the guy to leap on me and bind me with handcuffs – "
"So you're saying that you didn't get arrested for attacking Greek monsters, but you got arrested for jumping on an officer for kicking a disabled sheep?"
"I didn't jump on him! I stopped – "
"Assaulted."
" – him from picking on an innocent animal! I mean, was that such a bad thing?"
"Clearly, since you're behind bars right now."
"Oh, please, Jackson. I didn't even punch that hard. The guy just fell down on a bunch of horse shit and began raving about my constitutional rights as if I don't have them memorized like the back of my hand. It was more like, I dunno, a push."
"On the face."
"Oh my god, I can't believe you're laughing at me! This is not a laughing matter, Perseus Jackson – "
"You just saved a sheep from a dreadful demise! Annabeth, this is progress!"
"You're patronizing me."
"I'm not! It's just… Chiron and PETA are gonna be so proud when they hear about this."
"You're unbelievable."
"There must be photographs of you already posted in the internet. Probably a video or two in Youtube. This I have to see. I'm going to risk my neck typing your name in Google."
"Hey! Would you stop laughing?"
"Unfair, Chase. You're giving me the red light but you're already snickering too? And first Ody, now this? I'm seriously having doubts about which one of us is the sane one."
"Hades, Percy! I can't have something that will tarnish my record! This is absurd. What the hell am I going to do?"
"Just calm down, Annabeth. You're not going to have a criminal record, I swear to the Styx. I'm sure there are a lot of animal activists in the MIT, or even in the whole Cambridge area – are there? I think there are – and I think PETA would lawyer up and take your side of the story in this matter. And oh! You have a goddess for a mom. Just call in a few favors. What's the worst thing that could happen?"
"I don't know, I don't know. Wait, are you here yet?"
"I am bound for landing, honey. Just hope the Feds don't have the dibs on you or we're all screwed."
"Funny."
"Okay, Annabeth, I'm here. I'm – dammit, why counties don't have parking spaces for handsome demigods, I'll never know… Uhh, yes. Annabeth Chase? Yes, I have the money – I know, right? I totally apologize for the screw up on her behalf; she really loves things with four feet – Oh? Really now? Wow, I'm no longer surprised why my girlfriend roughed him up a bit – Yes, she's my girlfriend. Hot, isn't she? She casually threatens to castrate me every now and then; it's pretty sexy. Uh-huh. Release forms, got it. Hey, Annabeth. You there? You'll be out in about five minutes."
"Oh, thank the gods!"
"Yeah, yeah. I'll just be signing these, uh, questionnaires. Someone's getting you out right now."
"Oh my gods, oh my gods. Thank you, Percy! I can't thank you enough – "
"Hey, hey. You're yelling again. I have, like, half an eardrum and a quarter of a head left. I get you, I get you. Hey, once all this is over, you can repay me by buying me a double dutch ice cream – there's a parlor right across the road. Lack of parking spaces notwithstanding, I am loving this place. You know, we should hang around here sometime."
"Define hang."
"Psscchh. I'm not that gullible. They don't have death penalties in Massachusetts."
"I'm thinking that, as of this moment, they do. What were you saying a while ago? About my castrating you?"
"Sexy."
~0~
Next Chapter: Step 4: Cooking
A/N: Thank you very much for reading! Please drop a review!