When you pay too much for cable, you feel stupid.

When you feel stupid, you become the world's only Consulting Detective.

When you become the world's only Consulting Detective, you must share your brain.

When you share your brain, you have an ex-army doctor move in with you.

When you have an ex-army doctor move in with you, you become BFF's.

When you become BFF's you solve crimes together

When you solve crimes together, the ex-army doctor blogs about it.

When the ex-army doctor blogs about it you become famous.

When you become famous, you attract the attention of an evil genius.

When you attract the attention of an evil genius, he makes you out to be a shame.

When he makes you out to be a shame, he forces you to commit suicide to save your friends.

When you are forced to commit suicide to save your friends, you fake your death by jumping off a building, and you break your BFF's heart.

Don't fake your death by jumping off a building, and break your BFF's heart.

Get Direct TV.

Crack anyone? BTW, this is based on those Direct TV commercials. If you didn't know what they are, I suggest a google. They're quite funny.