Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII or Kingdom Hearts. Also, none of the contents in this story is meant to depict any actual or realistic experience in a real military boot camp or training facility.

Warning: Fem!Cloud; OOCness; A few misunderstandings here and there; Slightly heavy use of US Navy vocabulary (because the whole First Class, Second Class, Third Class thing just screamed "Petty Officer First Class, etc. to me)

Might wanna write these down to refer to just in case:

5.0 = the highest score you can get on an exam.

ASMO = Assignment Memorandum Order; basically a reassignment of barracks/division/station/etc.

A beating = slang for IT

IT = Intense Training; basically, PT but harder, more intense, and is often used as a punishment for recruits – sometimes, RDCs will IT/beat a recruit until they pass out or throw up (hahaha…haha…ha…fun times)

Galley = cafeteria; against the rules to talk in here except to the kitchen staff when grabbing chow (food)

Head = bathroom (weird, I know)

"I ain't no 'Sir.' I work for a living." = Basically, Commissioned Officers are addressed as either "Ma'am" or "Sir" while Enlisted personnel are addressed by their title. Enlisted personnel tend to get offended when addressed as "Ma'am" or "Sir" despite the fact that Commissioned Officers are of higher paygrade because they tend to view Commissioned Officers to be little more than civilians wearing rank. However, Enlisted personnel who make the switch to becoming a Commissioned Officer gets respect because they have "real" military experience. (Ma'am and Sir are also used incase a person's paygrade is unclear/unknown so Enlisted Personnel usually forgive this (unless they're being an asshole) and will correct the speaker by telling them their rate [aka: title. i.e. Chief, Petty Officer, etc.] Also used to address civilians)

PT = Physical Training

P-way = passage way/hallway; not allowed to talk here either (basically you can't talk anywhere except for in the barracks or unless spoken to by an RDC or other military personnel)

Rack = bunk bed

RDC = Recruit Division Commander; Enlisted personnel that is in charge of a Division's training

The classroom buzzed with noise. Various young men waited in anticipation for the class to start. Today, they would be learning how to summon and use Materia. It would be the first class they would have involving combat, and during their stay, it would be something completely different from their boring routine of PT and drill. Not only would they be learning something entirely new, but rumor had it that Commander Genesis Rhapsodos of the Golden Trinity would be teaching the class.

The recruits fidgeted in their seats, eagerly waiting to catch a glimpse of the famous man. Many fiddled with their uniforms, trying to make sure it was on spot, in hopes of making a good first impression, and perhaps maybe landing an apprenticeship like how the notable Zachary Fair did.

The door slowly opened and many a recruit sat up at attention, with some breaking military bearing to crane their necks to see who had entered. Alas, they spotted a mop of spikey blonde hair instead of the much anticipated auburn red.

It was a woman.

She carried a strange-looking broadsword on her back and carried herself in a confident manner. Her arms were bare and defined with obvious muscle tone, yet her delicate face and slender frame didn't look as though she could do much damage. Still, it was obvious that she must have had quite a bit of strength to be able to carry such a heavy weight around so effortlessly.

She glanced around the room, face blank and apathetic. She observed them in silence, and a few swallowed harshly under her mako-bright gaze. It was as if she was judging them – mentally cataloging the recruits before her to decide if they were worthy. Of what, they didn't know.

She closed her eyes and gave a sigh. "My name is Cloud Strife," she announced, looking around the room, catching every eye. "And I will be your instructor for today."

There was a stunned silence.

"Wait," a brave young soul blurted out. Many of them despaired and wished they could stuff his mouth. Hadn't he learned by now that running his mouth or speaking without permission would get him – or even more likely, the whole division – IT'ed? They just ran drills earlier and now the moron would get them punished with even more training! "I thought Commander Rhapsodos would be teaching us!"

They couldn't help but close their eyes in consternation. Neither could they help the aggrieved sighs that escaped them.

Ma'am – they didn't know what her official title was – turned to face the speaker and gave him a look suggesting she thought he was slow. "Why would a man like him bother teaching a bunch of ignorant upstarts like you?"

The guy sputtered and turned rather flushed. Seeing how Ma'am hadn't immediately ripped them a new one or IT'ed any of them on the spot, some began to murmur – some in agreement and some with indignity.

The woman rubbed the bridge of her nose, eyebrows furrowed, and they were quick to shut up. "Genesis would only bother teaching an apprentice. A graduate – which, none of you are. And considering none of you even know the basic principles of using Materia, let alone have even graduated boot camp, Genesis would no doubt sooner lose his patience and decide to play 'Dodge the Fireball' with the President than give any of you the time of day."

"Harsh words, Spikey," a cheerful voice teased.

It was Zachary Fair, a well-known Second Class for his friendliness, honor, and work ethic. He was mostly famous for being the first graduate to land an apprenticeship under a member of the Golden Trinity, Commander Angeal Hewley. His friendly demeanor dislodged the tension in the room.

"But true," Ma'am retorted, eyes half lidded, mouth pursed, and arms crossed. Her body language screamed, "unimpressed" but she suddenly had a much more relaxed air about her.

Second Class Fair let out a chuckle and shook his head as he approached Ma'am from the door. "Yeah, but you gotta be gentle sometimes, Spikey. They might be sensitive."

Ma'am gave him an unaffected look, with which Second Class Fair returned with a cheery grin. They observed the interaction curiously. The two obviously knew each other, and knew each other well if their ability to communicate silently was any indication. Eventually, Ma'am gave a small, if somewhat mocking sigh, before gesturing towards them. "Go ahead."

"Alright!" Second Class Fair turned his attention to the ear hustlers. "GOOD MORNING, RECRUITS!"

"GOOD MORNING, SIR," they boomed.

"'Sir'?" The Second Class squawked indignantly. "I actually work for a living, you know! I'm a Second Class!"

The recruits fidgeted in their seats, looking rather confused and terrified, wondering what he was going to do for their mess-up. The last time they greeted an RDC incorrectly, they'd been beat in the middle of a P-way. They sat nervously under his offended gaze.

"Haha, syke!" The man grinned. "Gotcha' there, didn't I? Don't worry, I don't really care what you call me so you guys can call me 'Zack' or 'Fair' or whatever. I know Spikey here doesn't really care for titles either – but don't go callin' her 'Spikey'! Only I can do that!

"Anyway, I just came by to see the newest Baby Div, and see how you guys have been doing. I know some moron spread the rumor about Gen teaching or whatever, but trust me," he gave them a look, "you guys are lucky it was just a stupid rumor. You do not want that man to be your instructor."

Fair's eyes glazed over for a bit as if remembering some distant memory, before shivering and turning blue in the face.

They were confused, but decided to take the man's word for it. After all, they had heard the rumors of the Crimson General's awful temper.

"But don't worry, guys," Fair grinned. "You'll have Spikey here as your instructor instead! She'll take care of you. Don't underestimate her, though. She knows what she's doing and can really pack a punch."

They eyed the blonde woman warily. They didn't doubt his words. The strange-looking broadsword on her back spoke as a testament of her strength. They didn't miss the mako glow in her eyes, either. To be a female SOLDIER – they had never even heard of such a thing; why hadn't they even heard of her before? – was already a strong indicator of her experience.

Soon enough, Fair gave their instructor a victorious grin, before leaving the room and subjecting them to the tender mercy of their much, much more uncongenial superior.

By time Zack came back to check up on the new recruits, the class was over, and Cloud was staring apathetically at the exhausted bodies that littered the floor.

"So how'd it go?" he asked.

Cloud gave him a bland look. "It was pathetic."

The man winced. "Ouch! That bad?"

"It's a good thing that rumor you mentioned was false, otherwise Rhapsodos would have lost his mind." Cloud shook her head. "They do have potential, though. I'll give them that much."

The class never saw Ma'am again after their disastrous first lesson, and they had quite a few mixed feelings about it. They had another instructor the following day, but he couldn't teach to save his life. At least they had learned something with Ma'am, despite how frightening and intimidating she was. When Fair popped in on them again one day, he was immediately asked if the female instructor was ever going to teach them again.

"Hmm, probably not," was Second Class Fair's answer, much to their disappointment. "But hey," he proposed, "if you guys can 5.0 your Materia exam, I'll see if I can get her to come in for you." The class perked up and they could feel their excitement bubbling over. "No promises though," he warned.

It didn't matter to them. Their current instructor was uninteresting, unengaging. His voice droned on and on in monotony and it was difficult to even pretend to pay attention in class when all the man would talk about was the textbook.

When Ma'am had them that one day, she hadn't droned on about theory or made them sit in their desks. No, she had them handle the Materia and had worked them long and hard, beating them into the had learned a lot from her in that short amount of time and many had felt that the only reason they were even getting by in material class was because of that one lesson they had with Ma'am Strife, for they could never understand a word of what their current instructor tried to teach.

The Division took the Second Class' words to heart and began to study. They brought their textbook everywhere, even during chow and PT, reading it whenever they had the time. They read it in the P-way, the galley, the Drill Hall, the barracks, and even in the heads. They studied as they waited in line for food, as they ate, as they waited for their turn to go through the obstacle courses, and as they waited for their other classes to begin.

If anyone had given them strange looks for it, they didn't notice. When the other divisions caught on to their newfound habit and begin to adopt it, they didn't think much of it. If mouths began flapping and new rumors began to circulate regarding Division 344, they didn't notice. And if those rumors just so happened to leave the Academy and reach the SOLDIERs, well… They knew nothing of it, too caught up in their own world.

"Hey Zack!" Kunsel greeted his friend, setting down his tray of food on the table.

Zack grinned up at the helmeted SOLDIER. "What's up, man?"

"Did'ja hear? Something weird's going on at the Academy."

"Oh?" Zack perked up, curious.

"This one division's been going crazy with their Materia text, apparently. They've been taking it everywhere, and when I say, 'everywhere,' I mean everywhere."

Zack blinked. "Like, even to the galley?"

"Yep. And in the P-ways, and the heads, and to their other classes, and to PT, and to Drill. Everywhere."

"Woah. What division?"

"344, I think."

"Wow… That's some motivation to 5.0 that exam, huh?

"Right? I wonder if Commander Rhapsodos has heard anything about them yet," Kunsel mused. "A division filled with Materia-obsessed recruits? I bet he'd have a field day."

The days passed and the exam was slowly creeping around the corner. The males of 344 were excited, confident that they would 5.0 the exam. They had been taking every opportunity to study, even quizzing one another during class spars or while they laid in their racks, trying to go to sleep. Sometimes, they quietly went popping a random test question as they ate, careful not to let their RDC hear – they weren't supposed to talk in the galley, after all.

Division 344 was sure they were going to ace the exam. That is, until they got a new recruit. Their newest member had gotten set back in training for repeatedly failing his exams, and the instructors had ASMO'd the guy into their division for whatever reason.

Once they learned about the ASMO-in, they had panicked at the thought of getting anything other than a 5.0 on the exam. As soon as the new guy had moved into the barracks, the division had split up into groups. One group took the stuff from the new recruit and began to unpack and make his rack. Another group ushered him away and held him still as another group began to teach and quiz him on Materia.

Soon enough, the new recruit's rack was made and the group responsible for it joined in on the impromptu study session. Eventually, within the next hour, the ASMO-in had enough knowledge to at least pass the minimum score of 3.2. They continued to help him catch up as the days passed, and it was almost too soon for the exam to roll around.

When time finally came, they took the exam, answering the questions with ease while hoping and praying that their new teammate would ace it. After the test, the division went about their day, eagerly anticipating for the results of their divisional score. They wouldn't receive it until the following day.

The next morning, they sat in their seats, waiting for their Materia instructor to come in and read their score. To their pleasant surprise, it was Second Class Fair who come in instead.

"Good morning, recruits!" he grinned.

"GOOD MORNING, SIR!"

The Second Class huffed teasingly and grinned. "I work for a living, you know. I ain't no 'Sir.'"

The division laughed, and a recruit jokingly replied with an, "aye-aye, Sir!"

"Now," Fair started, once the laughter had died down. "I've got your scores right here," he revealed, waiving a piece of paper around. "You guys did pretty good, you know. Way better than I did as a recruit, for sure! All that crazy studying did you guys some good."

"You saw us?" One of them asked.

"Psh, saw you? Heck no! But your crazy ways eventually reached my ears up in the SOLDIER's barracks."

They flushed, drawing out a barking laugh from the friendly SOLDIER.

"Hey, no worries, guys! It just shows your motivation! I wouldn't be surprised if Gen came down to see you guys himself, either. Word might've reached him that an entire division of new recruits were obsessing over Materia and had gotten a divisional score of 4.9 on their exam."

Another one of them cried out their collective despair. "A 4.9?"

"Yep! Man, you guys were so close, too!" He squinted at the paper. "All these 5.0s are ridiculous! Only one person didn't ace the test, but they still got a good score –" they all knew who it was "– and considering he was the new guy, it's still pretty good! You guys really did a good job helping your teammate out," Fair praised.

Regardless of his kind words, their faces were downcast, disappointed. At least the new guy had the decency to look apologetic in the face of it all.

"Well," Fair began, a considering look on his face. "I said I was going to get Spikey to come down for a class if you guys 5.0ed the exam, but, since you guys did so well…" he paused teasingly. Eager faces leaned forward as if in doing so, they would be able to read his mind. "I just might tell Spikey all about how her cute little students want to see her again."

Their necks flushed and their ears burned and the Second Class busted out laughing, bidding them a sloppy farewell, all whilst sporting a matching red face and shaking shoulders.

Angeal blinked at the sight of his rather disheveled apprentice. His face was red and his already messy hair askew. He looked like he had just managed to reintroduce oxygen into his lungs.

"What's wrong?" The First Class asked in concern.

"Oh, nothing." Zack waved nonchalantly, wiping a tear from his eye. "That Baby Div though, is just too cute."

"…'cute'?"

"Yeah," Zack grinned. "You know, 344?"

"Ah… The Materia-crazy division everyone's been talking about?"

"Yeah! Turns out they really wanted that 5.0," he snickered.

Angeal blinked uncomprehendingly. He felt like he was missing something.

"So," Zack continued, "you remember how that Materia instructor called in sick a while ago, and how they needed a fill-in but Gen didn't want to?"

"Yes," Angeal acquiesced.

"Well, they needed a quick replacement, right?" Zack rambled, not waiting for a reply. "So, my sister was in town –"

"You have a sister?" Angeal interrupted.

"Yep! Oh, did I not tell you I had one? I thought I did, but– anyway, she was in town, and Reno–"

"The Turk?"

"Yeah. Reno told Rufus about it–"

"The Vice-President?!"

"Yes!" Zack sighed, as if it was self-explanatory. "Anyway, he thought that since they needed a quick replacement, that making her do it would be a good idea."

Angeal furrowed his brows in consternation. "So your sister ended up being the substitute?"

Zack nodded.

"Wait– how do they even know each other?" Angeal eyed his student with perplexity. "You're not that close to the Vice-President..."

"Oh, they've always known one another. "Zack shrugged, blasé. "Being cousins and all, you know?" He continued before Angeal could get another word in. "Anyway, Spikey – my sister. That's not her real name, by the way. It's just what I call her. So Spikey subbed in, beat the ever-loving crap out of them, and somehow won their devotion – which, weird! Didn't think they'd be into that sorta thing, if you know what I mean.

"Well, long story short, she didn't come back after that and the next time I saw that division again, I told them that if they 5.0ed their Materia exam, I'd try and get Spikey to come back and meet her fans."

"Oh?" Angeal's eyebrows rose. "What did they end up getting?"

"A 4.9," the Second Class grinned. "Everyone, aside from the new guy, got a 5.0. The ASMO-in got like a 4.7 or something."

"So if it weren't for the ASMO, they would've received a perfect score? That's still pretty good. Usually divisions get a 4.2 average, if I remember correctly."

"Yep. And check it out," Zack leaned in conspicuously. "That ASMO was a guy who apparently kept failing his tests. The instructors supposedly ASMOed him into 344 because they hoped their method of crazy would rub off on him. And it did! They got a guy who couldn't even make a 3.2 on his exams, to making a 4.8 – 4.7 in less than three days. Isn't that crazy?!"

Angeal blinked. "Well, yes. Yes, it is."

"Anyway, since they did so well, I told them I'd give Spikey a call and let her know that her cute little students are waiting impatiently for her." Zack cackled. "Man, you should have seen their faces! I didn't know people could turn that red!"

Angeal shook his head in both amusement and exasperation. "Did you call her yet?"

"Nah, but I will later."

"You know 344's caught Genesis' attention, right?"

The young man blinked and shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, I thought it would happen sooner or later."

The First Class smiled wryly. "So you know it's going to be your fault for unleashing him onto those poor kids, right?"

"…Oops?"

"Right. 'Oops.'"

Division 344 was excited, anxious, even. Despite not getting a perfect divisional score on their exam, they had impressed Fair enough that he would contact Ma'am Strife for them, regardless. They waited eagerly, always anxious to go to Materia class for once. But alas, the same old, boring instructor greeted them every single day without fail.

One day, however, they were in for a surprise.

"Good morning, recruits," the instructor greeted.

They replied dutifully with a "good morning, Sir."

"Today, I have some news for all of you," he announced.

Their ears perked up. Was today the day?

"We'll be having a special guest join us, today." Yes! It was! "They'll be observing you throughout the lesson. It appears you lot have somehow managed to gain their interest." YES!

Division 344 mentally cheered. They knew Second Class Fair wasn't going to disappoint!

"Just make sure you keep your military bearing at all times," he reminded them. "Now, on with the lesson…"

The lesson continued as it always did – all theory again and no practical applications. They sat at attention, dearly hoping to impress their invisible guest. With all the extra studying they had done to prepare for the exam, they had accidentally covered the topics they were to learn in the future. It was a good thing they did, too, for the instructor still couldn't teach to save his life and their attention was wavering, trying in vain to inconspicuously search for Ma'am in their peripheral, despite knowing that she was most-likely to be observing them through the one-way mirror at the back.

At the end of class, their boring instructor announced that they would be doing practical applications the following morning. The rest of the day passed by as usual, with the exception of the new warnings their other instructors had given them about being on their best behavior for their invisible shadow.

The next day was the same, but Materia applications was a whole new turn. They had only handled live Materia once, and that was during their first Materia class will Ma'am.

They held the orbs cautiously, glancing around for a glimpse of their shadow. They hoped to impress Ma'am Strife with their performance today to prove that they were worth her time. They had figured that they had made a terrible first impression that first day and had made her decide to cast them off onto their current instructor. If they impressed her today, maybe she would change her mind and take them back.

They all took deep breaths, trying to calm their nerves. As they took turns activating the Materia, they fished around in their memory of that day, trying to remember the female SOLDIER's teachings on how to hold, activate, aim, fire, and deactivate the orbs, completely disregarding their current instructor's useless and contradictory instructions.

The stupid man had puffed up in pride, to 344's abhorrence, as if he was the cause of their success. While they had discovered a long time ago that Ma'am's words were to be trusted, and his were to be discarded, the newest recruit had learned not to listen to the useless teacher, knowing that, for some reason, his teammates all knew what they were talking about in terms of Materia. They had once tried to follow the man's instructions, only to get nearly blown up by their Materia. Other times, his methods didn't even work at all.

By the end of the lesson, all the Materia were properly stowed, the targets obliterated, and the recruits were free to go.

"So, Angeal began. "How was it?"

"They were better than I expected," Genesis replied. "They seem to all have a gift for Materia."

"That's good." The brunet smiled.

"Though, their instructor was absolutely horrendous. He had no clue what on Gaia he was talking about. I honestly have no idea how they all performed so well after having him as a poor excuse of an instructor," Genesis sniffed in disdain. "'Endless in mystery, is the Gift of the Goddess.'"

"I take it they performed well enough?"

"Good enough to hold my attention," Genesis hummed. "All of the targets were obliterated by the end."

Angeal blinked in surprise. "Oh, really?"

The Crimson General nodded. "No one but the so-called 'instructor' seemed to even break a sweat. Apparently, these kids have never even held Materia prior to joining." Genesis turned to his childhood friend, a fire burning in his eyes. "Do you know what this means?"

"No," Angeal replied, slowly, carefully. "What?"

"It means," Genesis purred, "I have an entire division to choose from! Maybe I'll end up with more than one!"

Angeal watched, bemused, as his friend excitedly began to argue and debate with himself.

"No, more than one would be a hassle – but, maybe– No! Wait– Hmm…"

Absently, Angeal thought his student had unleashed a beast onto the poor division. The poor soul who Genesis would pick as an apprentice had Angeal's sympathy. Genesis was never the most patient, or the one with the best temper.

"You know what, 'Geal?" Genesis huffed. It looked like he had already decided.

"Yes?"

"I think I'll just take the whole division instead."

The honorable First closed his eyes and prayed for Minerva to have mercy on those poor, unfortunate souls.

Zack fiddled with his PHS, scrolling through his list of contacts.

"Oh, come on," Zack griped. "Where is it?"

For the life of him, the usually boisterous SOLDIER couldn't find the number he was looking for. He had dialed the last saved number he had of Cloud's but it was out of service. She had changed her number. Again. So there he was, trying to scroll through his list of PHS numbers, trying to figure out which ones he'd already tried and which ones he hadn't.

"Come on, pick up. Pick up!"

rrrrrrring, rrrrrrring, rrrrrrring…

"The number you hav–"

"Arrghh! Dammit, Spikey! Why don't you ever give me the heads up?!"

He tried another number. And another, and another, only to get the same result.

Rrrrrrring, rrrrrrring…click.

"Hello?"

"Spikey!" Zack cried in relief.

"Yes?"

"You finally picked up!" He huffed. "Do you know how long I've been trying to get a hold of you?! What if something happened? What if you got attacked? Or – or hurt! Or jumped?! Or killed?! Or – or… Or worse!"

"… Zack, I'm fine. You should know I can take care of myself."

"Yeah, but!"

"And besides, what if That Bastard read it on your PHS? Anyway, I gave it to Aerith. I figured you'd call her to get my new number. You know, since that's what I always do."

Zack blinked. "Ehehe… oops?"

There was a sigh on the other line. "You forgot, didn't you?"

He grinned sheepishly at his PHS, forgetting she wouldn't be able to see it. "Ehehehe…"

"Of course you did." Cloud's voice sounded amused, exasperated, but amused nonetheless.

"Oh! Oh!" Zack bounced. "Never mind that! Guess what!"

"One of Hojo's experiment's finally murdered him?"

"What? No!"

"Oh, then what?"

"You know those kids you taught that one day when you subbed in for the old fart?"

"Yes."

"Well, they've been really eager to have you teach them again."

"Oh? Is that right?"

"Yep. I told them that if they aced their Materia exam, I'd ask you to come down and see them, and they took that and carried their Materia text everywhere! And when I say 'everywhere,' I mean everywhere."

"…Everywhere?"

"Yep."

"Even to the galley?"

"Yep. And the P-way, and the Drill Hall, and to PT, and even to the heads, apparently."

"Huh…"

"So, will you come? You know they worked hard."

"Hmm… I'll think about it."

"Awesome!"

"No promises."

"None!" Zack grinned. "So, how are the little munchkins?"

"They've been behaving. I got called into the school's office the other day, though."

Zack frowned. "Oh? What happened?"

"Naminé sang her fellow classmates a lullaby during nap-time because she didn't feel sleepy."

"Well, what's wrong with that?"

"The song. She learned it from one of the games Reeve sent the boys. I destroyed it and sent back the pieces. The boys were upset, but they shouldn't have allowed their younger siblings near it anyway."

"Oh, the poor kids…"

"I warned them if something like that happened again, they would never be able to play with Reeve's toys ever again."

"I take it they didn't like that?"

"Of course not. But they're lucky I didn't destroy all of it in the first place. I only got rid of that one game Naminé got the song from."

"What was the song?"

"I don't know. Something about ways to kill a drunken sailor or something."

"Oh… Yeah, I see how that'd be a problem."

"Yes… Did you need anything else, Zack?"

"Nope."

"Alright… let me know when That Bastard is out."

"Hehe, yup! You got it!"

Click. Beeeep, beeeep, beee–

After hanging up, Zack took a deep breath and started doing a little cheer around his apartment.

"What's got you so happy?"

Zack turned to find it was his mentor at the door. He beamed. "My sister's gonna be coming over!"

Angeal gave a nod. "That's good," he agreed, entering the apartment. "You know you've unleashed a monster onto those poor recruits, right?"

Zack paused. He was pretty sure that Angeal wasn't familiar with Cloud, so he didn't think the older man was talking about her. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you see… Genesis shadowed 344 and saw how they performed in their classes. He paid special attention during their Materia session and decided they were worth his time."

"Oh."

"And he argued with himself for a while before he finally decided that he wouldn't be taking an apprentice."

"Oh…" Zack blinked. He didn't really know where Angeal was going with this anymore. "Okay…?"

"Rather than having one student…" Angeal looked Zack dead in the eye. "He decided he'd take the whole division instead."

"Oh." Zack repeated, dumbfounded, "Oh… OH! Oh, no!"

"Oh, yes. "Angeal nodded gravely. "Do you see what you have done?"

Zack nodded, horrified. "What have I done? Oh my –! What have I done?!" He proceeded to have a mini breakdown, running wild around his apartment like a chocobo with its head cut off. "Angeal!" He wailed, "What do I do?!"

Angeal clasped his hands on the young man's shoulders. "Nothing," he intoned somberly. "There's nothing we can do for them now."

Zack whimpered.

"It's too late to save them."

Cloud hopped off of Fenrir and slipped her goggles atop her head. ShinRa HQ loomed over her small figure as if in an attempt to intimidate her.

She let out a quiet sigh, unable to believe she was even doing this. Zack had told her that her presence was being sorely missed – and for once, it wasn't by Sephiroth. Her one-time students had made a deal with Zack in a strange attempt to get her to beat them all up again, which she thought was incredibly strange, but then again, ShinRa did enjoy hiring strange people.

Zack said they had worked hard, and Sephiroth was on a mission, so she figured she'd pop in and reward them with her presence, as they had wished. Their performance had been pathetic when she had initially taught them so she was curious to see how much they had improved. Maybe she'd see how they'd perform with a sword.

But first, she had a cousin to talk to.

It was another day for division 344. They attended their classes as usual, with their shadow still on their tail. It had been a week since their unseen guest had decided to observe them, but they still hadn't shown their face.

Did Ma'am still find them unworthy? She must have, for she still hadn't appeared. But since she was still observing them from afar, she must have thought of them highly enough to still warrant her attention.

With that thought in mind, Division 344 did their best to impress. They studied whatever they could, wherever they could, whenever they could. They remembered the sword she carried on her back so effortlessly, so they turned their focus onto strength and conditioning, paying utmost attention to their combat instructors, and fine-tuned their swordplay as much as they could.

Too focused on increasing their knowledge and skill levels, they failed to notice much of anything outside of whatever held their immediate attention. As such, they failed to notice how their divisional score rose to the top, or how it spurred the other divisions into following their methods out of sheer competitive drive. They didn't notice the strange looks of approval they received from the other instructors or the enormous bout of pride their Division Commander gained, and neither did they notice the sudden decrease of screaming they were subjected to by said Commander. Too busy sticking their noses into any textbook they had with them when not sparing, they didn't notice the other divisions deciding to join in on the bandwagon driven by 344.

After another week of endless studying, Division 344 received a very pleasant surprise.

"Hello, boys." It was Ma'am! She took her place in front of the class. "I see you've been working diligently." She observed them with a cool gaze. "You're at the top of your training group. I must say, I'm impressed."

They preened with pride. All their hard work paid off!

"Ma'am," a recruit stood up at attention. "Will you be training us again?"

She gave them a considering look, no doubt taking in the hopeful faces they tried to hide behind their military bearing. She let the silence drag on, and they could feel their nerves heighten at the thought of her rejection.

"Yes," she finally answered. "I hope you don't disappoint."

"We won't, Ma'am!" they boomed, unable to keep their silly grins off of their faces.

"Hmm… We'll see."

Rrrriiiing, rrriiiing, rrrrriiiing, rrrriin– Click.

"Hello?"

"Zack, it's me."

"Spikey! How are ya? What's up?"

"I took another look at that group."

"Oh? You did? Weren't they just adorable?"

"… They've improved."

"Psh! Of course they did! They've been working their butts off just to see you again you know! Hahaha, it's like you got your very own personal army of baby chocobos trailing after you! I mean– not that you already don't have your own chicks –"

"Ugh. I thought you'd already out-grown all those chocobo jokes…"

"As long as you've got hair, it'll NEVER grow old!"

A sigh. "Zack…"

"Alright, alright… But seriously, ever thought about becoming a teacher?"

"What do you think I'm doing, Zack?"

"Yeah, I know, but I mean permanently. Not this subbing stint your doing now."

"No."

"Well, maybe you should."

"Hn. And have to deal with That Bastard everyday? No thanks."

"Aw, come on. You know he ain't gonna come over all the time!"

"…"

"Well… He'll be going on missions and stuff…"

"… And when he's free?"

"…Uh…"

"Exactly."

"Ehehe…Well, at least I tried…?"

"Goodbye, Zack."

"Later, Spikey!"

Click.

Cloud absentmindedly brushed her daughter's hair as the little girl sat in her lap, happily swinging her small legs back and forth, a tune escaping the child's lips.

"Isn't it a pretty song, Mommy?" Naminé chirped.

"Mhmm," Cloud hummed in agreement. "What song is that?"

"I don't know," the child piped. "It just popped in my head!" Suddenly, she turned to face her mother, looking at her with big blue eyes. "Mommy, will you ever take me with you to work? Kadaj and the others have gone but I never have."

Cloud paused and looked at her daughter. "Hmm… That's right, isn't it?" Naminé nodded her little head vigorously. "Tell you what," Cloud mused, running her fingers through her daughter's blonde hair. "Why don't you come join me tomorrow and meet my students?"

Naminé's eyes grew wide. "You have an appren– appen–"

"'Apprentice'?"

"Yeah! That! You have one, Mommy?"

"Not quite. I'm just subbing in temporarily until their teacher comes back from leave."

"Oh…" Naminé tilted her head. "Why did their teacher leave?"

"Not sure. I think he went to the doctor though."

"Why?"

"I heard he played with fire or something." Cloud shook her head. "So, do you want to go?"

Naminé's big blue eyes sparkled, bouncing up and down on her mother's lap, unable to contain her excitement. Cloud had to steady her to make sure she wouldn't accidentally fall and hurt herself. "Yes, please! Yes!"

The older blonde eyed her child playfully. "Are you sure?" She teased, "You know that would mean you'd have to get up early tomorrow. It's a long way to Midgar."

"I will! I promise!"

"You sure?" She received another vigorous nod. "Hmm… Alright then. But if you don't get up when I wake you, I'll leave you behind."

"I won't fall back asleep, Mommy!"

"If you say so," Cloud hummed. "You know," she started, looking the little girl in the eye, "if you come with me, you'll have to miss school. Will you be alright with that?"

Naminé scrunched up her small face in thought for a moment before nodding and making up her mind. "Yep!"

Cloud smiled down at her daughter. "Well then, I think it's time for you to go to bed. You have a big day tomorrow."

Naminé pouted before breaking out into a big smile. She hopped off of her mother's lap, but not before giving her a big hug and a sloppy kiss on the cheek. "Good night, Mommy!" She then proceeded to rush to her bed and snuggle under the covers.

"Good night," Cloud repeated, giving the girl a kiss on the forehead. "Sleep tight."

"I won't let Jenova bite!"

The division waited anxiously for their instructor to come in. So far, Ma'am Strife had been their teacher for a few days, but that didn't mean that she would be their instructor for good. The worry that she would dismiss them as a lost cause and toss them back to their old, useless instructor still lingered at the back of their minds.

When the door opened a sliver, they leaned forward, gripping the edge of their seats. A little blonde head poked itself through the tiny opening, observing them with curious eyes. They stared back in wonder. Being isolated within the ShinRa Acedemy's walls, it had been a long time since they had seen a child. Before long, said child disappeared from view and the door closed.

A few minutes passed and the door soon reopened. Their spikey-haired teacher came into view with the little girl toddling after her.

"Good morning, recruits," she greeted, turning to face them. They returned the greeting dutifully before she started up again. "As you can see, we'll be having a guest with us today, so I expect you all to behave appropriately." She gestured to the child. "This is Naminé." The little girl shyly waved at them with a smile. "Naminé, this is 344."

"Nice to meet you," a recruit greeted from his seat at the back. He earned a bright smile from the little girl.

"It's nice to meet you all!" Naminé chirped, apparently over her bout of bashfulness.

Once introductions were over, the little girl was sat in one of the empty desks, and class begun. The division was filled with both excited and nervous energy, ecstatic to find their teacher valued them enough to introduce them to someone they suspected was her daughter, yet nervous at the prospect of the child being another one of Ma'am's hidden tests.

They didn't know what the little girl's purpose being there was for, but they didn't ask. So they did what they thought was best: ignore the child's presence and focus on their teacher, trying to absorb as much as they possibly could.

Naminé observed in wonder. Her mommy was so amazing! She was the youngest out of her – one, two, three, four, five... umm… oh! Six! – six brothers. What was the other word for brothers? Si– Sisters? No, that was wrong. Si...sib… Something.

She was the youngest.

She had always been so jealous when Mommy would take her big brothers with her on adventures, but she was always "too young" or something. But she was a big girl now! And now it was her turn! Take that, Riku! Hmph!

She had always heard stories about how amazing her mommy was. Kadaj was always bragging about how he was old enough to go on monster hunting adventures with Mommy and how he was able to see how strong Mommy was. Naminé of course, never doubted his words. Everyone always told her stories of Mommy's adventures when she was younger. Daddy also loved to go on about how strong his Puppet – that was his 'pet name' for Mommy apparently – was whenever he wasn't too busy at work to see them.

So yes, she knew how great her Mommy was. Everyone said so. It was a fact! But still, this was the first time she got to see it in person. Sure, she wasn't fighting monsters or anything, but it was obvious that monster fighting wasn't her only skill. She also had minions. Like Uncle Rufus! Daddy apparently also had them, but she wasn't too sure about that. Because, wasn't he always busy working for other people? Wasn't that why he was never home?

Probably.

Naminé didn't think her daddy wanted to admit he was someone else's minion. Auntie Tifa mentioned something about "male pride," or whatever that was, once. Maybe that was it.

Still, Mommy had been away from home more often because of her minions. Naminé felt kind of jealous that her time and attention were being spent on these strangers. She already had to compete with her brothers. She didn't need these people too! But, what did Mommy call them again? Re– something. Recuts? Regroup? Re… re… recruits…? Yeah! Recruits!

But, wait… weren't those, like, people who are trying out for something? So… they weren't really minions then. They were… trying to become Mommy's minions? Was that it?

Naminé frowned, scrunching up her small face. Dubiously, she took a good look at the strangers sitting beside her.

Was her mommy trying to find a minion then? Naminé huffed at the thought. She didn't know why her mommy was going through all this trouble. If she wanted one, she should just make Daddy her minion. He was always following her around whenever he didn't have minion-duties, anyway!

Then, the door opened.

She gasped. "Puppy!" Naminé left her seat to run up to the newcomer.

"Nami!" Puppy cheered, picking her up, and tossing her into the air. "How've you been, kiddo? Have you been a good girl? Not causing trouble in school, are you?"

Naminé pouted, still dangling in the air by her armpits. "I was only singing a song."

Puppy squinted up at her, his glow-in-the-dark eyes shining as bright as ever. "Not a song to be singing in school though, right?"

"It was pretty," she mumbled mulishly.

"It was about killing people," Puppy deadpanned.

"It was still a pretty song…"

Puppy sighed and put her down, patting her head. "It's okay, kid. Just try not to do it again, 'kay? I swear, you look just like your mom, but I feel like you act more and more like your dad sometimes."

Naminé pouted down at her shoes. She didn't think Puppy would lecture her about it too! Daddy thought it was a nice song when she sang it to him.

"Did you want something, Zack?" Naminé looked up at her mommy. She had her arms folded with that you-better-have-a-good-explanation-for-this-or-you'll-be-in-big-trouble look that she often gave to Naminé's brothers when they did something dumb.

"Ah, right. Sorry to interrupt, but can I talk to you in private for a sec?"

And with that, the two adults left the room.

Naminé silently counted and a small frown pulled at her face. Honestly, she didn't know how you could fit a conversation within such a short amount of time, but a second was already over. Puppy should have asked for more time if he needed more than a second! When the door finally opened again, she had already counted to ten more than five times.

Puppy grinned sheepishly at her. "Sorry about that kiddo. Took longer than I expected."

Before she could respond, her mommy stole her attention. "Naminé, why don't you go with your Uncle Zack for a bit? I know you must be bored here, so why don't you go with him and play? I heard your Uncle Rufus has been really bored lately."

Naminé hesitated and Puppy swooped in with an offer. "We can go explore! What do you say? Wanna find some secret passages? I'm sure Reno is up for a game of hide and seek!"

Her eyes brightened with excitement. "Okay!"

Her mommy let out a quiet laugh. She had a strange look in her eyes. "Apparently they think your brothers are terrible at playing games. They lose too easily. Why don't you show them how much better girls are at playing, hmm?"

"Lots better!" Naminé vowed. "They'll see!"

And after she gave her mommy a kiss on the cheek, Puppy placed her on his shoulders, and they were off.

Boy, Spikey sure knew how to hold a grudge. But setting Naminé to wreak havoc amongst the Turks would make things livelier around HQ, he had to admit.

He made the trek over from the Academy to the main ShinRa building, ignoring the looks he got from his collegues. Zack was lucky Naminé took after her mother in coloring. If she'd taken after Sephiroth, there'd be no way he could walk around so casually with her on his shoulders. Everyone would freak out – and don't get him started on the Science Department. At least her coloring would make people assume she was one of the ShinRa's kid. Well, technically Spikey was a ShinRa too, but, whatever.

"Puppy?" the little girl called from above.

Zack glanced up. "Yeah, kiddo?"

"Do you know where Daddy is?" She sounded like she was thinking hard about something and he wondered if she was plotting.

"Nope, but your Uncle Rufus does! You can go wheedle it out of him when you see him," he grinned.

"'Kay," she sang.

"Did you wanna talk to him? It sounds like you're planning something," he joked.

"Did you know Mommy wants a minion?" She sounded frustrated.

He couldn't help but let out a chuckle but thankfully, it didn't seem like she noticed. "Really?"

"Uh-huh! I thought she wanted an appen– apre– appendix"

"You mean 'apprentice'?" Honestly, little Nami was too cute.

"Yeah! That! But then she called them re– re–"

"'Recruits'?"

"Yeah! And aren't those supposed to be people who want to be minions? Uncle Rufus' minion said that's what they were. 'Wanna-be minions'!"

Zack laughed. He really couldn't help it. "Yeah, okay. What about them?"

"Well, Daddy's a minion, isn't he?"

He choked. "Say what now?"

"Well, he must be! He's always busy doing minion things for Uncle Lazzy," she sniffed.

"Huh, okay."

"Since he's already a minion, and Mommy wants a minion…" she trailed.

"Yeah?"

"Then Daddy should just become Mommy's minion instead!" She huffed, exasperated, "Duh!"

He really couldn't help it. He broke down laughing again. He had to make sure he was holding onto her legs firmly enough just in case she was dislodged from his shoulders. This kid was a riot!

"You know," he warbled, freeing a hand to wipe away a tear, "when your mom was having you and your brothers, your dad always waited on her hand and foot."

"Good," she asserted imperiously. "He has experience! Honestly, I don't see why Mommy has to look for someone else."

"Well, your dad is your Uncle Lazard's minion, remember?" he chortled.

"She can trade him for my brothers," Naminé retorted. "Kadaj says he's plenty strong now, but he should go with the others in case he does something dumb."

Zack glanced up at the little girl sitting on his shoulders. He didn't really know how to respond to her. Honestly, she and her siblings were something else all together. Hilarious and a riot was what they were. Her brothers already wreaked havoc by themselves – there was a reason, after all, that Spikey never brought her entire brood to one place at the same time, discounting their house, of course.

He wondered how much mischief they would get into if Spikey brought all of them to ShinRa HQ. It'd certainly liven up the place for sure.

Aaannnd that's all I wrote. But man, I didn't expect it to be that long…

If you're curious about the song Naminé got in trouble for, it was "Drunken Whaler" (but lets just replace 'Whaler' with 'SOLDIER' or something) from the game "Dishonored."