Chapter 9 – Emerging Discord 2
"Yeah, going down to lunch?"
Remus crossed the room and placed his book bag on his bed. With his back towards Sirius, he started removing books from worn book bag.
"No," the prefect said, "but I asked Peter to bring some soup and crackers on his way up."
Sirius's face twisted at the mention of the rat, but he didn't say anything. Remus paused in his unpacking to stare at a particularly chewed-up quill and Sirius could sense something like melancholy emanating from his friend.
"Uh, alright then." Sirius rubbed his neck. "You alright?"
Remus sighed loudly and plopped himself on the bed. The teen wiped his hands on his thighs. He took a steadying breath and looked Sirius in the eyes.
"Look about before," he started, "I was just a bit mad. James was… well… irresponsible. Again."
Sirius nodded.
There was something about the way his friend held his stare that made Sirius think Remus was not saying the entire truth. Harry had done the same thing when Sirius had asked him about those horrible Dursleys. The boy had looked him straight in the eye and said everything was fine. Later, he found out through the Weasley twin grapevine that Lily's relatives did not care for Harry's wellbeing at all. That night he had a terrible row with the headmaster – if one person yelling while the other looked on, twinkling, could be considered a row. It was also the night that Sirius somehow knew – felt - that Dumbledore had had no real intentions of letting Harry live with him. He couldn't understand why and he never asked.
Sirius rubbed the back of his neck and went to sit next to Remus.
"Yeah, he can be pig-headed," the animagus started, flopping heavily beside his friend, "but that's sort of his charm, yeah?"
Remus looked at his feet, his eyebrows furrowed. Sirius was silent, hoping Remus would say something. The seconds ticked by slowly and Sirius could feel his brain –and stomach- aching with impatience.
"Only when he respects you." The prefect said at last. "God knows I let you two get away with questionable things but that doesn't mean you guys shouldn't listen to me."
Sirius was silent for a moment, narrowing his eyes in thought.
"What makes you think he doesn't respect you?" he asked, confused. "And what do you mean 'you two'? We're the Marauders not Bonnie and Clyde."
Remus smiled.
"You'd make a pretty good Bonnie, wouldn't you?"
"Hey!"
"He plain snorted at me when I tried to get him to lay off Snape," Remus said, suddenly. "And I got so mad – "
"Wait. Snorted?"
"Yeah, you know. Like laughing in a mocking sort of way," started Remus. "Like what Snape does when… well… when you do anything."
"I'm sure James didn't – "
"He did and I know what it means." insisted Remus. "Sirius, I'm not blind nor deaf nor stupid. I know how close the two of you are but I thought that Peter and I were at least second to that."
Sirius tried to think of something to say, but his mind could not comprehend what Remus was saying. The prefect widened his eyes as if he thought he had said something that could be taken offensively.
"I don't mean that what happened to you isn't important," Remus blurted. "'cus it is, but… I don't know. James shouldn't act like I'm the idiot for not wanting to hex someone in a classroom in full view of a professor."
Sirius had to admit it was a rash move on James' part; however, he knew that his messy-haired friend had always been an emotionally-driven person. Sirius knew he was guilty of such behavior as well. After all, how did he end up in the past in the first place? Everything James Potter did was with passion and the future auror always protected those he held dear.
Sirius had almost forgotten how insecure – Well, insecure-er – Remus was as a teen. He put an arm around Remus' shoulders and his heart ached when he remembered doing the same for Harry. Sirius realized he had made a mistake comparing Harry and James. The only similarities the two might had have would be limited to appearance.
"If Dumbledore can get Snape to swear secrecy, then he can also do the same to you lot if it comes to that."
Sirius snapped himself out of his reverie. What?
Remus' shoulders fell and his demeanor at the moment was the embodiment of disappointment. Sirius on the other hand was shocked. He shook his head.
"Remus, what do you mean? You think we'd abandon you? Why?"
Remus sighed but didn't say anything. Sirius got to his feet to stand in front of his friend. The boy raised his head to look up at him with eyes that held a mixture of embarrassment and sadness.
"Whatever thoughts you have about us not being friends," Sirius started, "get them out of your head. Because I'll – we'll – always be there for you. Even when you don't need us – especially when you think you don't need us. Because Merlin knows you think you can do everything alone!"
Sirius spoke forcefully, but his voice had a soft edge to it – at least he hoped it was soft enough. Sirius cringed a bit on the inside knowing he unconsciously mimicked his before-she-went-crazy mother's tone of voice.
Remus shook his head, chuckling.
"Okay, mom." The prefect said, red in the face. "Let's go down to lunch before James eats everything."
Sirius pretended to pout and Remus chuckled again. Sirius smiled, relived. A good feeling spread through his chest, and suddenly time-travelling animagus felt that despite his doubts, things were going to work out to be just fine.