I don't know if I'm going to continue this or not.

It was cold for California. One of those nights where the wind coaxed the drapes to dance against the old oak window panes and rain streaked across the glass and dripped gracefully onto the asphalt. Beacon Hills was quiet at this hour, besides the stray car speeding along the off-streets of the interstate 101 or the hoot and holler of a hungry owl perched in the red woods out side of town.

Derek's loft always seemed cold, though. It was dimly lit and although it seemed dusty, Isaac had noticed the alphas obsessive compulsive nature for keeping things tidy. It was to be expected after living in a house that harbored some of the most painful memories he or anyone else for that matter could quite possibly imagine. The newly turned wolf had always had a notion that he cleaned so much to try and keep those memories buried in the ash out in the woods, rather than letting it follow him here.

But Derek didn't let anyone in so who was he to make assumptions.

The moon was high in the sky, not quite full but close. It lured out the worst in people. That's what Derek had said to him once. Teenagers crawled through their windows and held seances on the out skirts of town. They drank wine and laughed and wondered if it was all for real or not. It was wonderful, to think of how naive they were, to think of the innocence they harbored.

Innocence was something that had been stripped from Isaac at a young age.

The metal stairs in the alphas apartment led up to a second floor where three different rooms were nestled. A living area and two bedrooms. Isaac had taken one of them after his dad died and was currently curled underneath the beige sheets decorating the mattress. It wasn't anything special, a bed, a nightstand, a closet and a window. He hadn't brought much with him, usually pups don't when they begin running with a pack. It's a form of development in a sense. A way to shed the lives they lived and embrace a new one. It was hard for most, and harder for others.

Isaac had a harder time with the shedding process than most.

He tossed and turned, his fingers knotted in the sheets and beads of sweat riddled his forehead. It was painful to sleep. The young wolf could hardly close his eyes for more than a few minutes without the fear of nightmares biting at his ankles. It was a pattern. He would go to bed and fall asleep and wake in a furious rage or shambles from the memories of his father.

They came in waves, some nights would be better than others and then there would be times where sleep was a monster and no matter how fast Isaac ran he couldn't out run the voice echoing around his cerebral cortex.

He whined. His face contorted and his lips pulled back into a grimace as he fought his own demons in his sleep. A world where he could never shift, never fight back and never get away. A constant rewind of being trapped and caged and tormented.

His heart beat accelerated, pounding against the inside of his rib cage. Even in his sleep he could feel his lungs burning. His throat constricted and he cried like a bird with a broken wing, completely unable to free himself from being haunted night after night. It took a few moments. A few more pain-staking whimpers and thrashes against the mattress before his eyes flew open and golden orbs stared at the ceiling.

Isaac gasped for air when he woke. His chest heaved and tears burned down the sides of his face. His mouth trembled as he lifted his hands, watching his claws receed back into human nail beds.

A creak from the doorway startled him and he looked up to find Derek's soft footsteps coming towards him. The alpha sat on the edge of the pups bed and looked over to Isaac as he sat up, still unable to catch his breath.

That was the thing about wolves and living with them. Derek could always hear Isaac's rising heartbeat and he always came to sit by his side on the nights when the monsters crawled out from under Isaac's bed and into his dreams. He could relate to his newly turned pack member in more than one way when it came to living with the inextinguishable flames of the past.

"Are you okay?" Derek was always gentle at these hours. When it was late and the moon was high and everything was crashing down around him, when Isaac needed it the most.

He didn't answer at first, just looked down at his hands and let warm tears fall slowly against his fingertips.

Isaac didn't know how to answer and he scrambled through his exhausted and mis-matched thoughts to try and find something to say. However, the only thing that escaped his lips was the air of a sob. He crumbled into his alphas lap, laying his head on Derek's thigh and curling up against him, trying desperately to cover his tears and his messy crying.

Derek rarely showed any form of pain, but he closed his eyes and shook his head, placing a nurturing hand on Isaac's shoulder. It was a different kind of pain to watch one of his own fall to pieces and to know that there was not a damn thing he could do to take away his pain.

"Derek," Isaac sniffled, taking in a shaky breath as he held onto the wolf's leg, his cheek pressing warmly against Derek's thigh, "it wasn't supposed to be like this. How do I make it stop?" His voice was meek and morose and it felt like someone had shoved a metal pole through Derek's chest all over again. The older wolf lowered his eyes and his lips fell open slightly as he tried to think of something to say.

"You... can't, Isaac. All you can do," he paused, rubbing his thumb across the soft skin on Isaac's shoulder blade, "is keep running forward. Leave it behind." It was the most honest advice Derek could give and as much as it stung to say it, it was what he had been doing for a long time.

Isaac didn't say anything for a few minutes, he's breathing calmed and he relaxed, his body settling gently into the mattress and into Derek's lap. The rain was still falling against the window and the wind was still swaying the drapes in the other room. The night hadn't changed and the moon was just a fraction lower than it had been when he was jolted from his painful sleep.

He reached up to paw at his eyes, nestling his face securely into the strong leg below it. "What if I get lost," he whispered, staring off into the darkness of the ill-furnished bedroom.

Derek smirked softly, pinching playfully at Isaac's side, "I'll be running right next to you," he mused cooly, a smile pulling at the sides of his mouth.

Isaac squirmed and swatted pridefully at Derek's hand.

"And if you're not...?" the pup muttered, tilting his chin up and eyeing his alpha carefully.

Derek looked down at him and rested his hand back on his shoulder, gripping it reassuringly.

"Then you howl, and I'll come find you."