You're probably wondering how I got into this situation. Well, let me just tell you that I ran when I should have walked.

The one where we fall.

**BG**

Barbara didn't even remember how she ended up here. Okay, with her photographic memory maybe she did, but there she was standing in front of his apartment door. Third floor. 1013 Parkthorne Avenue. Room 3A. She couldn't believe she was here again, or that he even had the same apartment. It had been years. She flashed back to a time where her stomach was just about to start showing. A certain fiery redhead opened this very same door, but she couldn't think about that now. She bit her lip. She's never felt such a strong desire to tell anyone anything until now. Steadying her nerves, she motioned to knock on the door. Before her knuckles could touch the mahogany wood, she hesitated. No matter what happens, I will be okay. Her family, which may now include a cat, would be okay. She smiled, ready for the next trials in her life. She's Barbara freaking Gordon, AKA former Batgirl. She can do this.

She knocked twice.

It took a minute, but the door slowly opened and a head peaked through. Blond hair cascaded down as a female on the other side looked to see who knocked. Barbara felt her resolve melt. The redhead noticed the girl recognize her immediately.

"Oh my god! It's Barbara freaking Gordon!" Bette Kane, former Gothammite, opened the door fully revealing the blond women in all her glory. She was wearing skinny white formal pants with a sky blue low-cut blouse, making her perfect crystal eyes stand out. Barbara hadn't felt underdressed, but a moment flashed where she wished she wore something else other than her dark jeans. The blonde stepped into the worn, blue painted hallway and gave the redhead a hug. "It's been so long!"

Barbara wanted to sink away and disappear. She tried to keep her mind clear, but it was growing very difficult. Her eyebrow twitched. Out of all the scenarios she played out in her head, this was definitely not one of them. "Yeah, it has been," she whispered, licking her lips to hopefully stop her mouth from growing dry. She could feel her brain try to lapse back to the past, but she couldn't. Not yet. God, her heart ached. But why? She only wanted to tell him about the kids, there was nothing more to their relationship. She didn't have feelings for him. He's the dork who used to wear a flashy green underwear while fighting criminals and currently has a wall full of bat mugs... and a beautiful person in his apartment who he for sure had a history with back in high school. She wanted to groan. She didn't know if she was more upset at him or herself at the moment.

"Wow, look at you! You look" the blonde tried to find the right words, "the same, yet different."

"Thanks," because how do you answer that? "A lot happened over the years, but, uh, you look really good as always, Bette."

Bette smiled at Barbara, "don't I? I'm kidding, thanks. So what brings you to Bludhaven? You should have told me! We totally need to catch up sometime." Clearly that sometime wasn't now. The female in question opened her mouth to say something, but another deeper voice from somewhere in the huge apartment beat her to it.

"Bette, who did you say was at the door?" Barbara knew exactly where the distant voice was coming from. She practically knew the apartment inside and out. She also knew the distinct sound of a bathroom door closing.

The redhead shook her head to Bette, "I was just in the neighborhood and figured I'd say hi, but I see you guys are probably busy, so I'll just head out." Barbara turned to walk away as she felt a painful sting behind her eyes.

"Wait, Barbara!" The blonde had stepped further into the hall reaching out towards her old acquaintance.

The distraught redhead kept walking, "don't worry about it Bette, I forgot there was something else I had to do here." She put her hand up to wave goodbye after her lack luster excuse without looking back. "Let's catch up sometime. Tell..." her pink lips quivered a little, but her voice somehow stayed even. "You know what, I'll just tell him later. Don't worry about it. I'll see you." She turned the corner at the end of the long, dull hallway, trying her best to speed walk away from the situation and her thoughts.

Before the door to the stairwell could close fully, she could hear him join Bette in the hallway. "Who was it?" Water found its way to her eyes. No matter what he said, that voice would always get to her.

Bette turned to the man dressed in a blue button down shirt and black slacks next to her, "wrong person?" She said hesitantly as she walked back into the room a little confused. The dark haired man looked at the blonde then down the hall where he was sure his visitor had vanished.

"Dick? You coming?"

"Yeah," Richard John Grayson ran a hand through his wet hair reluctantly turning away before he joined the female back in his apartment.

*BG*

Barbara tried to hold herself together as she made her way over to her next destination. She rushed through the open doors of the building, catching the elevator to the top floor. She leaned back against the cool metal doors and tried to hold back her tears. She couldn't break down. Not here at least. God, she was stupid. She should have known this was gonna happen. Of course history would repeat itself. The redhead stumbled out of the moving machine as she heard the ding, and made her way to the door of the loft. She knocked. Again.

A blond man in a tuxedo with a goatee opened the door. Usually she would comment on how good he looked, but not right now. She was afraid to say too much. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "Hi Oliver," her voice caught. She tried to clear it again and continued, "is Dinah with you?" His eyes widened a little and turned into his place.

"Dinah! You have company."

Dinah walked out in a stunning black, sleeveless, floor-length, slit gown. "What was that Ollie?" Her question died as she saw Barbara standing by the door hugging herself. The redhead knew she didn't look okay. She had been crying on and off since Bludhaven. Her eyes must look so swollen. "Oh, honey," she said as she rushed towards her friend and guided her into the apartment. "Ollie, would you mind giving us sometime?" Queen lifted his hands up in defense and walked out of his apartment closing the door, leaving the two females alone.

Barbara looked everywhere except at Dinah. "Let me go get you some water." Barbara watched as the female blonde left to go to the kitchen. She tried to steady her breathing. One, what is something you can hear. The sound of a running faucet being turned on and then off. Dinah walked back into the room and handed the water to the teary eyed girl. The redhead gave a small smile as she looked down at the cup resting between her palms. Water dripped from her eyes, landing on her hands in front of her. Dinah gently motioned for them to sit down on the black L-shaped sofa.

Two, touch. Barbara could feel the fibers in the seat below her. She wondered how often people came over. Three, what do you see? Everything looked so perfect, almost as if it came out of a catalogue. Including Dinah and Oliver's relationship. No stop. You can't think like that. The redhead took a deep breath and licked her lips again. Better just start talking. "I went over to Dick's."

Canary's eyes widened, connecting the dots she needed. "Oh," was all she could muster at the moment.

Barbara let out a weak laugh, "yeah, tell me about it."

"I'm guessing he didn't take it well?" Batgirl's eyes finally met Dinah's. They were full of concern and care. It made her want to cry even more.

"I," her voice cracked a little, "didn't get to tell him."

"What?" that shocked Dinah a little. What else would have led to this? He wouldn't have done something to purposefully hurt her. "Why not?" She moved her hand and started rubbing Barbara's back, encouraging her to keep going. She knew there had to be more than the redhead just chickening out and leaving.

"Bette opened the door." Dinah's mouth made a silent O. She didn't need to know who the name was in order to understand what the redhead was hinting at. Barbara nodded and covered her face with a hand. A few more tears leaked out and her shoulders shook. Saying it out loud just reminded her of how she felt the first time. Batgirl looked at Dinah. She knew she wasn't alone, but why did she feel that way. "And then, I just…" Barbara turned away again, "left."

"You just left?"

She nodded in response, moving to hug herself again, "I couldn't stay. I started…" Canary watched her friend carefully. It had been a long time since she had seen Barbara so distraught. "...flashbacking."

"Oh, no, honey."

"Yeah, even on my way here. All I could think about was how Kory answered the door."

Koriand'r, also known as Starfire. Also known as Richard Grayson's Ex. She and Dick had been together for a long time back in the day. Wally even placed a bet that Dick would finally settle down and tie the knot with her. Barbara was pretty sure there was an engagement, but something happened where the two had split. She hears it's mutual, but Barb wasn't 100 percent sold on that. The redhead placed her head in her hands again after moving her water cup to the floor.

"And it bothered you that Bette answered the door?"

Barbara slowly lifted her head confused, "Wha… of course it did. I just told you…"

Canary held her hand up to silence the upset female before her, "I know, I know. I mean, aside from the flashback, which sucks on many different levels."

"Yes, Kory wasn't very nice to me that day."

"Yeah, but," Dinah paused, trying to put all of her psychiatric skills to use. She wasn't sure if she should push, but Barbara needed to come to terms with her emotions. "Why did you feel the need to run this time? Or even last time?"

"Okay, one, last time I was literally blocked and there was way too much drama around them. And two, I…" Barbara stopped. Why did she run? It shouldn't have mattered if Dick was with someone. She was an adult. An adult doing adult things like telling the guy she likes that he is the father of… Hold up. Back up, Gordon. Did she just say… like? What the hell, where did that come from? Wasn't she doing this for her kids? When did her emotions come to play. "Oh, crap…"

All you have done is think about yourself. What the freaking hell. That's not true! He… he's wrong. If I was in your place, Barbara, I would have gone down another path. She shut her eyes and pouted. He never calls her by her full name. But… was he actually wrong? She bit her lip. She did let her feelings get in the way a little bit, didn't she. It wasn't even a question. Her children wanted their dad. Katrina literally cried, and here Barbara was holding them back, stopping them from having a second parent. A second parent who was alive and well with possibly some loose screws. A second parent who knows her inside and out, but that was not the point.

The main point. The bottom line. The thesis was Katrina and Jace. There was nothing more to it. That's it. She had planned this. They were introduced to the teams after training to control their emotions. It made sense with everything going on at the time. And now, they are old enough and mentally strong enough to have a father. Barbara shook her head, trying to hang up on the call of tears and guilt.

Katrina and Jace.

Jace and Katrina.

They shouldn't even know who their father is, but of course they would remember and comprehend everything. A few Bat Family stories right before the age of two was all they needed to know who was who and how everyone was related. Curse her photographic memory that for sure got passed down no matter how often the kids try to deny it. But they do know. They know about their dad. They have met him on multiple occasions, even if he has never been introduced as their father in front of them. This wasn't fair to them… or him. Fine, introducing them to the team late can make sense, but not letting Dick really meet his kids? Or vice versa?

She let out a sigh. Her tears had died down, but her shoulders were still shaking. "His life was so much more complicated back then with Wayne Enterprise and Kory. If I had told him about the kids, his relationship with Kory would have for sure been affected. He was so stressed out, Dinah."

"Yeah true, and they already had a lot of drama with the interglobal laws or what not."

"I… I don't know about that part, but yeah, I mean, there is a time for everything, right? And it wasn't the right time back then."

Canary handed the female in front of her a tissue, "your instincts are rarely wrong."

"And sometime now, with or without Bette, would be good to tell him. Right?"

"You know, a little birdie told me that there never really is a perfect time."

Barbara narrowed her eyes at the female in front of her, "I hate you."

"I love you too, BG. Plus," Canary looked into Batgirl's eyes with love and care, "you can't change the past. You're in the present, which is a gift for the future."

Barbara felt the words hit her heart. She nodded her head, letting out a sigh as she gave her best friend a soft smile. So now what?

"You told him you would leave after all of these missions with Ivy, right?"

The redhead ran a hand through her hair, "yeah, I did tell him that."

Dinah nodded, "think you still will?"

Barbara paused and glanced around the room. Would she? With the kids (and cat) and all? "I…," she swallowed, "I don't know."

Canary hummed in response. Before Batgirl could do another deep dive in her thoughts, the blonde continued. "Speaking of missions and Ivy," there is never a break for the heroes, "this is semi off track, but Bruce was talking about the next potential target locations. There's a few different options, but are you up for another team up? I know I should probably ask this another time, but Bruce says it would be soon. And we have done pretty well together in the past."

Barbara smirked. The mission for her kids. The mission that could finally lead to a cure. The mission to save her life. And by her life, she means Katrina and Jace. "Wouldn't miss it." Plus, it would feel kind of nice to beat up some bad guys.

The two sat in silence, letting the words from their conversation settle in the room. Canary soothingly patted the redhead's leg, "I think this was good for you."

"What do you mean? Which part?"

"Barbara, I've known you and Dick for a really long time. After you left, he shut himself off from the team. I don't think he realized what he was doing, but he did." Barbara raised an eyebrow waiting for Dinah to finish her thought. "What I'm trying to say is that, you guys meant a lot to each other, and you still do. Yeah, the pollen may have heightened things, but feelings have to be there already, romantic or not." Dinah let out a sigh, "listen, you took a step in the right direction. Now that you know where your emotions lie, you can choose to pursue or get over them. And then you can tell him about the kids when you're ready again." She's right. Barbara had held on to the hope that someday Dick would remember and come to her. She would never admit that out loud, but maybe she did have feelings for the Boy Blunder. She blew out some air. She honestly couldn't believe it.

"You're right." The redhead rubbed at her cheeks. She chuckled pushing some hair back. "Sorry for being such a mess, I guess I was really just shocked, and maybe a little hurt."

Dinah shook her head, "it's understandable."

Barbara opened her mouth to say more when the front door opened with a knock. Oliver stuck his head through and looked at the couple on the couch. He awkwardly coughed, his eyes darting between the two, "umm, how's it going?"

Barbara took that as her cue that she should probably head out, "it'll be okay." She got up and turned to the hero behind her. "Sorry for messing up your date night."

Dinah's eyes softened, "you didn't mess anything up. You don't have to go, you know? You can stay. We can eat all the ice cream and brownies you want." Barbara heard herself laugh, brightening the mood. To her, it sounded like a true laugh that wasn't held back, something she hasn't heard in a while.

"How about we rain check on that? There's a few people I gotta go talk to first." Barbara smiled at the couple, "thank you guys for everything. You look amazing by the way, Dinah." She gave her close friend a hug, "and seriously, thank you. I'll text you when I get back home." She pulled back, and turned to Oliver with her hand out. "Sorry for making you a little late to your dinner."

Oliver took her hand, "eh, not a problem, I'd rather not go anyway." He whispered the last part so only Barbara could hear.

"What was that, Ollie?" Canary crossed her arms and glared.

"Nothing sweety." Oliver nervously replied and shot a sheepish smile at Batgirl. As Barbara headed out the door, she could only hope that she would have someone like the two of them do.

**BG**

Batgirl walked out of the Zeta Tube a few blocks from Gotham's Police Department. The sun painted the buildings in an orange hue as it started to set. She felt lighter with each step as she headed towards the building. It's been a long while since she's felt this kind of refreshness. She couldn't wait until she saw her kids, but first, a pit stop. Barbara paused in front of the stairs that led up to the police department. She stared at the metal front doors and took in a huge breath, slowly letting it out. She knew she had to do this, better sooner than later, but that didn't make it any easier. She ran her hand through her hair.

"Barbara?" the female in question turned towards the voice. There before her stood the man she was looking for.

"Lev," she said under her breath. She gave him a sad, small smile.

His head tilted in response, "I know that look." He nodded as he put his hands in the pockets of his pants.

"I'm sorry." His lips stayed shut in a line. "It's just…"

"There's someone else," he deadpanned.

"What?" Barbara was a little taken back. He walked up to her and brushed back a strand of hair that fell in front of her face. Hopefully her eyes still didn't look as puffy. She did stop at a fastfood bathroom to try to make herself look a little more normal on her way here.

"Let me guess, it's the kids' father, huh?" Batgirl was shocked. Just when she thought she was done being caught off guard tonight, things keep coming. "Oh come on, Barbara." Lev took one of the female's hands. "I'm a detective. And I'm pretty good at my job."

The redhead awkwardly chuckled as Lev intertwined their hands. "I'm sorry," she said again, "I just don't think it's fair to you if I still have feelings for him. I hope you understand."

He let out a sigh, "sadly, I do understand. But feelings can change over time." He smirked a little, causing the female to playfully roll her eyes.

"I do really like you, Lev. You're a really, really great guy."

He chuckled, "I don't know about that, but I'm just trying to do what's right." He stood so close to her. "Whenever you fully get over him, you know where I work." He squeezed their interlocked hands. She looked up at him, and his eyes locked with hers. He was about a head taller than her. Slowly, he leaned down and kissed her cheek. "You really are beautiful, Barbara Gordon." He whispered in her ear before straightening up. The man smiled at her and took a few steps back. He lifted their hands to his mouth, and kissed hers before letting go. "I'm sure I'll see you soon."

She could only nod in response. They did only go on one official date, but this still felt so weird. She watched as he ascended the stairs and disappeared behind the cold, large doors. Her hand went up to her cheek where he had touched her. This time, she didn't feel her heart skip a beat like when they had first met, but she still felt a little down.

Finally she broke contact with the doors and started heading for the nearest Zeta to go see her kids. Thank god cause she needed a break.

A/N

Hello!

I am so sorry for that cliffhanger…. And for it to lead up to this… but don't worry! The next chapter is definitely better than this one!

I hope you guys are enjoying this rollercoaster ride! So with the flashback, there actually is a comic where Barbara went to go ask Nightwing out on a date, but Kory opened the door. I saw it, and it kind of really fit into the past in this story.

So, what do you guys think!? Don't worry, for real, the reveal will be coming soon. Next chapter does involve all 4 of the family members! Plus Robin, cause… he just always knows when he is called for.

SuperMehr3