Ciel didn't react as his butler's confession came to an end. He had known where the conversation was going long before Sebastian had put words to it; but now that the demon had, there was a type of finality to it. His thoughts were no longer simple musings, but fact proved by the demon's own affidavit. He now knew that the end of this agonizing journey would not be a peaceful oblivion, because Earl Ciel Phantomhive would never die. He would perish, and he would be born again as a demon who felt only something akin to apathy through its insatiable hunger and was troublesomely hard to kill. He suddenly realized how fruitless his begging had truly been when that nightmare had come to haunt. Sebastian eating his soul wouldn't bring him peace, nor would it allow him reunion with his parents. No, the result of that course of action would be an existence filled with remembering emotions he could no longer understand and people he could never again touch.

How should he react to receiving such knowledge? The life of a demon obviously couldn't be pleasant, condemned to Hell as they were. And the true, pure sorrow he had seen shining in his butler's eyes as he spoke of his past. Could he endure yet another event in his personal tragedy? Yet, "could" wasn't the right word. He either would, or he wouldn't. There was no question of how he would end up; instead, his ability to function in spite of it was what he questioned. He knew that human emotions were painful—but was feeling close to nothing even worse? Ciel Phantomhive was not one to delve into the unknown with a brave face. He, a master at games of all kinds, needed to have a well thought-out plan before he even thought of acting. But this? There was nothing even he could do to know what it was to which he was fated.

He wanted so badly to tell the demon to get the hell out of his sight. His presence beside him was no longer comforting. To Ciel's greatest dismay, he was beginning to regard the demon as a threat—the very being that would steal the one thing he valued: his humanity. The only thing that kept the proud Earl of Phantomhive going was that potent vindictiveness he experienced for the ones who had taken so much from him. While it was an emotion that he knew ate at him and destroyed him, it was what he knew and relied on more than Sebastian. How could he survive without it? My life . . . everything that it has been . . . will disappear. How can I possibly be expected to accept that?

His eyes flickered over to look at his demon butler, who he found to be refusing to meet his gaze at all costs. His posture was rather downtrodden, seeming to deflate with each second that passed in silence. Ciel realized that Sebastian would have been much too wise to imagine that he would receive this information in good humor. The demon knew that he was probably turning the child against him, but told him crucial yet superfluous information in regard to the contract by his own volition. If the demon knew nothing but malice and malignity, why inform him of such a thing? Wouldn't prey that knew very little of the misfortunes that lay in wait for him be easier to ensnare?

"I see that my young master is not taking this information very well." Ciel looked up from his thoughts, shocked, as the butler got to his feet in resignation, his hair still conveniently hiding his eyes. "I will retire, my lord. Do try to get some rest."

Before the demon could abscond, Ciel grabbed his hand, forcing the demon to look at him. As he looked into Sebastian's glowing eyes, all of his queries were quelled in one instant.

If a demon couldn't understand humans or their emotions, why the hell was Sebastian gazing at him with such an expression in his eyes? He had said himself that he didn't wish to devour his soul right away—that he viewed him in a way he thought was in correlation with how one would view his son. Ciel would merrily label his divulgence as yet another lie hidden among truths if his actions prior hadn't absolutely proved it. If he didn't care about the young Phantomhive, why didn't he eat his soul when Ciel asked him to? Sebastian would have no gain from doing all of this, so the child could only come to one conclusion as to why the demon was acting like this.

Because he cared.

Finally, the boy rearranged his emotionless features into a weak smile. "Trust you to be stupid enough to make a deal with a demon."

Ciel knew the hypocrisy of such a statement, but Sebastian did not seem angry. Instead, his eyes were widened in shock, his mouth hanging open. The child snorted at the sight, unable to vanquish the large smile on his features. It felt so strange, smiling; after all, this was the first time he had grinned out of unashamed happiness in many, many years. The demon took one look at the expression and a beam of his own broke across his face, softening his sharp eyes—which had thankfully returned to their natural color of dark burgundy. As much as he accepted the demon for who he was, those coldly smoldering violet eyes of his were chilling even to him.

"True, I was quite anguished—much like yourself when you chose the same path as I," Sebastian commented, careful not to explicitly mention Ciel's trauma.

"I can't imagine that," the ashen-haired boy commented. "What could have caused you to be desperate enough to sell your soul?"

"You have to realize that I was basically an entirely different person," his butler responded, carding a hand through his hair. Ciel realized that it was a rather nervous gesture, which surprised him. Was this a difficult subject for his demonic butler, even after so many centuries?

"Sebastian, if you don't want to speak of it, you do—"

The demon put a finger to his lips, silencing him. "Hush, little one. I have no qualms about sharing this information with you. Relaying such details is long overdue, after all—especially when I know everything about you and you nothing about me."

Ciel nodded and waited for his butler to continue, which he did without hesitation.

"I lived as a human when the Roman Empire was falling in the third century. My name was Cassius, but I fear I cannot remember my surname, since I doubt I even knew it as a mortal boy. Forgive me, my lord." The addressed boy waved Sebastian's apology off and motioned for him to resume his story. "I had extremely abusive parents who despised me for merely existing. As they hated me so vehemently, they adored my older brother, Elianus. Eventually, they decided they could no longer support another son, even though they hardly fed me or provided anything for me. So, when I was around thirteen or fourteen, my father lured me into the forest and abandoned me there to die after giving me a rather vicious blow to the head. I had no hope of returning home, and I found I had no desire to go back in any case. I figured that dying there would be much less painless than what they would do to me if I were to miraculously return."

"I had no idea. . ." Ciel whispered, horrorstruck. But he knew that the demon wouldn't appreciate his pity, so he said no more on the matter. "Is this where the demon comes in?"

"Very astute, young master. Yes, that was where I met the demon who called herself Lamia. She saw me there, curled on the ground, bleeding, crying. You see, demons are drawn to places of great grief and sorrow, which was very much the case at that particular location."

The young earl narrowed his eyes slightly, trying to imagine Sebastian sobbing and lying there weakened. He found that he couldn't even procure a mental image that would even suggest such a thing, which bewildered him even further. "What were the terms of the contract you made with her?"

"So impatient, my lord." Sebastian smiled gently, but his eyes remained flinty. "This may be slightly indelicate to my master's tastes, but I will strive to keep profanity from entering your ears."

Ciel swallowed thickly, but he said, "Go on, then. I'm sure I can handle it."

"Lamia asked me what my deepest desire was, and I told her, quite simply, that I wanted more than anything to be loved. I explained to her how even God turned his back on my suffering, and how I wished for someone to care so deeply for me as Jesus did for mankind. Naturally, she found this to be quite amusing, and she told me that, for a price, she could make my wishes come true. Perhaps my head was slightly addled by my father's clout to my skull, but I told her that whatever she wanted was hers if she could fulfill my yearning."

"I don't quite get how that could be considered vulgar, Sebastian."

"Ah-ah, you didn't let me finish, my lord," the demon admonished, his face splitting into a strange, fanged smile. "It was there, in that fateful forest clearing, that I lost my—to put it delicately—purity to a demon."

"Wh-what?!" Ciel spluttered, a pink blush staining his cheeks faintly. "That—that was what the demon constituted as the love you sought?"

"Indeed," his butler responded, licking his lips sensually. "Quite worth my soul, if I do say so myself."

Ciel couldn't keep himself from laughing in disbelief at the combination of his butler's immodest words and expression, and his companion joined him in his quiet way. But then, he remembered the second catch to making a deal with a demon. The humor left Sebastian's eyes as the boy's face fell, replaced by a look of deadly seriousness.

"Was it worth becoming what you are now?" the child asked quietly, his eyes suddenly downcast.

"No," Sebastian replied decisively after thinking for a moment, tapping his forefinger against his chin in thought. "I was stupid, naïve, and petty, which I find to be most detestable and hateful. Ha, perhaps I am glad to be what I am—I can't have been the brightest human in existence. Can you imagine selling your soul for sex?" The demon laughed, his misgivings about the indecency of the situation gone. But Ciel ignored his attempt to brighten the atmosphere, his face dark and troubled.

"Is that how you saw me, Sebastian, when you were unknowingly summoned by me? Did you see me as a stupid, naïve, and petty child?"

"Absolutely not." Sebastian looked slightly reproachful that Ciel would think such a thing of him. "Your predicament was much worse than my own, little one. I even found the atrocities committed against you rather distasteful. You were brave—albeit terrified—enough to go to such lengths to save yourself. You were starved, beaten, humiliated, molested, and branded. Of course you wanted the people who did that to you to pay. How could I find such a motive petty? The people whom you target are the ones who stole your family, your childhood, and your innocence. You acted out of strength; I acted out of weakness. That is the difference between you and who I used to be."

"Quite the contrary," Ciel responded, clenching his teeth. "I was insane by the time I summoned you, Sebastian. You must have realized. You were—are—the only thing keeping me from becoming like those children at Baron Kelvin's."

Sebastian's eyes widened at the child's statement. Ciel knew that the outsized arrogance he flaunted in every situation had made such a confession look entirely unfeasible. But he needed to know the truth. Sebastian knew him better than any other; if he was creeping toward the precipice of insanity, the demon would tell him. His pride be damned. He needed to know.

The child proceeded to smile bitterly, but he knew Sebastian could easily see through his expression to the pain beneath it, just as he always did. "I keep having nightmares, Sebastian. They were gone for such a long time. But now, they're back and I can't help but wonder if I'm finally losing my sanity—and I know you're wondering the same thing. Perhaps I should have lost it a long time ago, but somehow escaped that fate. I think whoever controls these things is finally attending to the breach that is my mere existence. I feel like I should be dead with my parents. There's this guilt that's always gnawing at me, and I can't seem to. . ."

The ashen-haired child trailed off, realizing he was rambling. Internally, his superciliousness screamed at him to take all of his words back, to gloss over the shameful things to which he had admitted in his skillful way. But he was tired, his sleep interrupted constantly by the nightmares mentioned. He wanted to sleep and cry and for Sebastian to hug him. His pride, frankly, could go to hell. It didn't have a place here; what purpose did it serve when in the presence of a demon who knew his soul more intimately than anyone? But beneath those whimsical desires and broken convictions, he knew how childish and queer he was acting. He liked to think that he had gained some sort of respect from his demon butler, but acting like this certainly wasn't solidifying this opinion in his companion.

"I know that you've been suffering from nightmares, my lord. I have been here ever since their reoccurrence to comfort you. I haven't retired to my chambers for the night in quite a while, choosing to remain by your side instead." Sebastian smirked good-naturedly. "I even let the cats out of my wardrobe so you could have my full attention."

Ciel seemed to forget how saddened he had been in his indignation. "Why, you—"

"As I was saying, I know that you are suffering, young master. But I don't believe that you are losing your mind. If I may be quite frank, you haven't been in ideal circumstances for your full recovery. Despite the trauma you have endured, you plunge yourself into the duties of the Queen's Guard Dog, witnessing what no child of your age should ever witness—cold-blooded murder, ruthless rape, the exploitation of children—firsthand. Even with my strength as your trump card, you are not immune to the effects of seeing such things day in and day out. You aren't losing your sanity, no. Instead, your daily experiences in the underworld are preying on your personal weaknesses caused by your tragic past. You snapped after observing the atrocities Baron Kelvin perpetrated, believing yourself to once again be in a cage as the members of that cult prepared to sacrifice you on the altar. Shortly afterward, you had another relapse as a result of watching me slaughter the Bizarre Dolls. Admit it, my lord; your job is chipping away at your resistance."

"I have to take on the duties of my predecessor," Ciel mumbled, turning his face away from Sebastian's pointedly. "It's my obligation as the heir of Phantomhive—I don't have a choice. And even if I did, I wouldn't make a different decision. The only way to find those who did this to my family and me is to make a nuisance of myself as the Queen's Dog so that they will target me. The sooner they come after me, the sooner you can have my soul." The boy smirked mirthlessly. "Won't all this despair just my soul even tastier, anyway?"

"You are so foolish, Ciel," Sebastian said, but he couldn't keep the smile off his face. "I would reprimand you, but the attitude you have is exactly what makes your soul so very mouthwatering. You will make quite the demon."

"Well, you will surely find out, won't you?" the dark-haired child teased. "Since you're the one who's going to turn me into such a creature, there's no way I'm going to let you off the hook so easily."

Sebastian reared back playfully, a haughty hand positioned over his heart. "Why, I would never even dream of doing such a thing! I, get rid of you? You'd have a harder time trying to get away from me, young master."

"Do demons usually form such friendships?"

"No, not at all. The majority of a demon's life is spent in solitude, other than the humans upon whom they prey."

"You really are so strange, Sebastian. You're breaking all the rules, now."

"Rules only hinder those who pay attention to such petty things. I determine the rules I live by."

"Doesn't that defeat the purpose of rules?"

"Entirely, my lord."

Ciel cocked an eyebrow at his smirking demon, but a sly smile of his own slowly turned one side of his mouth upward. "Will we remain here, in the manor, after you devour my soul as demons pretending to be human?"

Sebastian quirked up one brow in a question. "Why would we?"

"Well, I dunno about you, but Hell doesn't sound too pleasant to me."

"Ooh, young master, are you—I don't know—afraid?"

Ciel grit his teeth, glaring at his broadly smiling demon butler as all humor from before was forgotten. "Shut up, you! I'm not afraid! I'm merely accustomed to a certain lifestyle, and I must be certain that I will have that standard of living in the future."

"Well, I know for one thing, you will no longer enjoy the taste of the sweets you so often crave. The only thing that will taste sweet to you as a demon is blood, or a human soul."

The boy's mouth dropped open comically, causing the butler to stifle a snicker with his gloved hand. "What are you saying?" Ciel asked timidly, his mismatched eyes horrified.

"The parfaits, cakes, and cookies to which the young master is so partial?"

"Yes, what about them?" The small child was impatient now, the puerile remnants of his personality surfacing.

"They will taste like cardboard."

And so a cruelly laughing demon was forced out of his master's quarters, the door slamming closed behind the particularly angry Phantomhive.

Author's Note: This is a shorter chapter than usual, so, I'm sorry. I felt like I was drawing it out too much when I made it longer, so this is all you're going to get. This is the final chapter of Nightmare, but there will be an epilogue following it. If any of you can find a way for me to continue this fic in a way that won't stray too far from canon, I'd love to hear it. All of your opinions are so thoroughly appreciated by me.