Kurobasu is Fujimaki Tadatoshi-sensei's, and Oyajina! is Hiiragi Nozomu-sensei's.

I just re-made this fic (almost) completely. The settings are different. I still keep the gender-bender idea though.

AU ~25yo with their alternative job (Kuroko: Kindergarten teacher, Akashi: prof Shogi player, Kise: Pilot and part-time model for Aviation magazines, etc)

Day 1

Kuroko woke up earlier than his alarm clock. The sky was still dark outside, but he didn't feel like going back to sleep again.

That morning was just like any other mornings for Kuroko. That was, until he went for a bath and saw someone - a girl - in the mirror, staring at him. The sudden fright gave Kuroko one big heart attack before it petrified him. He was rooted to the spot, his deadpan face drained of every last drop of blood and breath caught in his throat.

Kuroko was frightened to the core of his being, unable to let out even a soft whimper. He felt like he could faint any moment.

So, this was how his life was going to end. By a supernatural force, which he never believed until he seen it now with his own eyes, in his bathroom mirror. The ghost-girl was going to take his soul and the doctor would tell his family and friends that he died of a heart attack. No one would ever know the truth behind his death and his soul would wander the Earth forever. He could only hoped the ghost would be so kind to make it painless now.

Closing his eyes in acceptance of his fate, Kuroko made a mental apology to the people he had scared with his sudden appearances. It must have scared the life out of them. Now a ghost was going to scare the life out of him, literally.

...

...Or not.

God-knew-how-long had passed but nothing happened. Kuroko opened one eye ever so slightly and took a teeny tiny peek at the mirror. He got another heart attack, at a smaller scale now, when he saw the girl still in the mirror. And another heart attack when the girl flinched and threw her hands over her face.

Wait.

He flinched. And he threw his arms over his face.

Kuroko's courage and confident slowly returned back to him along with a realization. He tried waving his hand, which was mimicked by the blue-haired girl in the mirror. Kuroko tried several other movements and the girl mimicked every one of them.

'That's not a ghost.' Kuroko sighed in great relief. But the relief was soon gone. His eyes quickly gazed all over his body. His arms and legs were slender and softer, less muscled. His hands and feet were smaller, like those of a girl's.

Kuroko took a peek from the neck of his shirt and saw something that his brain refused to process.

He had a pair of 'basketballs' on his chest. Big, soft basketballs...

Even bigger than Momoi's.

`v'

Finding no sensible enough explanation for his transformation, Kuroko had decided to ignore the impossible that was happening, and assumed his morning bath session and went to kindergarten like nothing happened.

"Ah, Kuroko-sensei, you came just in time! I need your help with the prep-" His fellow teachers called to him as he came into the teacher's office, "Wah, I'm so sorry, I mistook you for one of the teachers here!"

"That was embarrassing. Haha.. May I help you, little lady?" The teacher went on before Kuroko had any chance to utter anything, "My, are you Kuroko-sensei's younger sister? You two are really peas in a pod."

"Um..."

"Oh, is Kuroko-sensei alright?"

"I..."

"You could've just called us instead of coming all the way here to inform us of his absence. Aren't you gonna be late to school now?"

"Yamada-sensei," Kuroko decided to raise his voice before he was strung along with his colleague's my-pace nature.

"I'm Kuroko."

"So, you're really Kuroko-sensei's sister-"

"I'm Kuroko Tetsuya."

The finality in his high-school-girl-voice made his colleague stopped her pace. They stared at each other in silence, not sure what else to say. Was this girl messing with her? She had been working together with Kuroko Tetsuya for a few years now and she was sure Kuroko Tetsuya was a guy. She was one hundred percent sure her expressionless colleague did not have breasts. At least, not that big.

Kuroko sighed. It was going to be troublesome. He did not know how to explain why or how he turned into a girl without getting accused of being crazy. Besides, he did not know the answer to the question either.

Fortunately for Kuroko, he did not have give any explanation whatsoever as the news announcer on their humble television did it for him just in time.

["-according to the committee, on a whim... they offer their apologies...

"...chemical substances flowing from the factory have spread all across Tokyo

"and have the city's high school girls into middle aged men... -now to the chairman's interview..."]

Unfortunately, it still did not quite explain Kuroko's situation. He was not a high school girl. And he certainly did not turned into a middle-aged man. He was a mid-twenties man turned into a high school girl, if not younger. Honestly, all teenagers - prepubescent and pubescent alike - looked the same at his age.

Well, at least his colleagues believed, after a lot more explaining, disbelieving and debating, that he was indeed Kuroko Tetsuya, a teacher from Kiseki Kindergarten. One less worry - the biggest worry - for him now. Other problems from his transformation into a girl could wait as long as he still had his job to support his life.

`v'

"Excuse me, little missy. Aren't you at the wrong table here?" Midorima pushed up his glasses with his bandaged middle finger. The green haired man still took great care of his hands and fingers. It was vital for his occupation as a surgeon, after all.

Today was the day the ex-GoM members, as well as Kagami and Momoi, gathered together for dinner and drinks. Years might have passed, but they still hung out together. Even with their busy lives, they would set one day of each month free for this gathering, usually in a bar, sharing the going-ons in their lives.

Midorima, Murasakibara, Aomine, Kise and Kagami had arrived earlier than the appointed time. They ordered a few drink and were now waiting for their other old friends to show up. Instead, this random high school girl came out of nowhere and made herself cozy on the empty spot beside Aomine.

Midorima was about to repeat his question again- seeing as the girl just stared at him without saying anything, maybe she didn't hear him- when Momoi came.

"Hi, guys~ Sorry, I'm late.. Ara~ who's this girl?" The pinkette noticed the high school girl and saw the size of her breasts, "Dai-chan's girlfriend?"

"When did you get a girlfriend, Dai-chan? Why didn't you tell me? Dai-chan, you meanie!"

"You're so noisy, Satsuki! She's not my girlfriend. She's just a brat!"

"Pfft, like that matters," said Kise mockingly, watching his tanned friend stealing glances at a certain part of the girl's body that was his fetish. He wondered when this perverted policeman was going to get arrested for sexual harassment.

"So, whose girlfriend is she?" Momoi ignored the two stupid duo.

"I am not anyone's girlfriend, Momoi-san."

"Hey, she kinda sounds like Tetsu-kun. Hmm...," Momoi squinted her eyes and leaned closer to the high school girl, "Doesn't she look like Tetsu-kun?"

"Since when Kuroko's that cute?" Kagami laughed and then chugged down his second helping of beer.

"Nn, only her eyes look like Kuro-chin's. Like a dead fish's," chirped the purple giant rudely. He was snacking on the Pringles Midorima was carrying around. The green-haired teen had given up trying to stop the purple giant from eating his lucky item.

"Well, her hair is light blue like Kuroko's," added Kagami.

"Ah! Are you maybe Tetsu-kun's little sister?"

"Hah, she's definitely not little." Aomine snickered, eyeing the girl's boobs openly now. Ashamed of her childhood friend inappropriate behaviour, Momoi smacked the back of Aomine's head, earning a curse from him.

"You should keep your perversion to yourself, Daiki," said a new female voice that sounded oddly familiar.

Everyone around the table spun around and found another unknown high school girl making herself cozy beside Midorima. There was a mixture of looks- mostly who-the-hell-was-she look- directed at the new girl. All of them scrutinized the newcomer from head to toe, except for Aomine who absolutely had no interest in women with landing board as a chest, even if she was a beauty.

The high school girl with a long, red ponytail and heterochromatic eyes ignored the looks she was getting, and looked at the light blue haired girl who was sitting across from her. Recognition was in the bluenette girl's eyes, and the redhead, too, recognized her instantly.

"Tetsuya?"

Everyone around the table looked at the redhead uncomprehendingly, and then at the bluenette called 'Tetsuya' who quietly nodded and said, "Akashi-kun, you're late."

Momoi and the guys watched the two 'high school girls' exchanging casual greetings with dumfounded looks on their faces. Certainly they were not their Kuroko Tetsuya and Akashi Seijuurou? How could that even possible?

Apparently, none of them had watched the news that morning and had been confused with the strangely high numbers of middle-aged men that filled the streets, stations and pretty much everywhere else, and the lack of high school girls, which was noticed only by Aomine. As for the blonde pilot and part-time model, he had a traumatizing journey from the airport to his home that morning. For whatever reason he did not know - and did not want to know - a bunch of middle-aged men flocked around him, squealing and groping him. Some of those squealing middle-aged men even tried to kiss the poor guy.

`v'

"I see... This kind of thing is impossible, but if Akashi says so...," said Midorima calmly while pushing up his glasses the umpteenth time.

The ex-GoM and Kagami had a mixed feeling- dumbfounded, amused, disbelief or disinterested- after listening to Akashi's explanation of their eerie situation. It totally sounded impossible. How could anyone just transform their gender? And it was not just their gender. Their physical looks changed too. Akashi did not look like the Akashi they knew anymore. And Kuroko did not look like Kuroko either. But why would Akashi - Akashi! - joke about that kind of thing? Or rather, why would he joke about anything?

Kise soon abandoned the complicated thoughts and joined Momoi in clinging and glomping onto the high school girl-Kuroko.

"Kyaa, Tetsu-kun! So cuuute~~! I'll go gay for you anytime!"

"Kurokocchiii~ Now you can be my bride-ssu~!"

"Isn't this just fine, Tetsu! Think of all the stuffs you can do with that dynamite body!"

Aomine joined the other two. He could not care less about the strange chemicals leaking from some random factory and whatnot. He shoved Kise away with one hand, and then put his other arm around busty-Kuroko's shoulders. He had a perverted grin plastered across his face andhis 'discreet' gaze on busty-Kuroko's boobs. Disgusted expression was obvious on Kuroko's normally deadpanned face when he noticed Aomine's hand opening and closing perversely just above his breast.

"Ow!" Momoi swatted the perverted tanned hand off her Tetsu-kun - or chan? - before it had any chance to molest 'her'.

"What the hell's that for, Satsuki?!" Aomine shook his hand, trying to make the pain go away. Momoi could really slap when she wanted too. "Why are you so energetic, anyway? Weren't you all depressed about Tetsu's boobies being bigger than yours?"

"Dai-chan, you idiot!" Momoi hit her childhood friend again for reminding her of her wounded female pride. A piece of her died when she found out that her crush had bigger breasts (and was sexier) as a female than hers.

"Really, Daiki. Could you get any more indecent?" Female-Akashi shook his head and sighed.

"You don't have to be jealous of Tetsu's melons, Akashi. I'm sure there are a bunch of guys who like washing boards. Not that I understand why. They don't jiggle..." And a whole different world of pain came for the tanned policeman.

"Stu~~pid." Kise stuck his tongue out at Aomine who was doubling over in his seat, his hands between his legs. The others could only guess what Akashi did to the tanned man.

"That's what you get for interrupting my lovey-dovey time with Kurokocchi-ssu!"

"Hmph. What are you two going to do about your... situation? I recommend you get your lucky item every day."

"No, thank you. I don't really care as long as it doesn't hinder my job at the kinder," answered Kuroko flatly.

"Let's just hope the sorry excuse of a factory finds a way to cure this, or the effect will wear off soon." Everyone around the table shuddered at female-Akashi's cold smile and tone. The redhead might have turned into a girl and had softer face features, but his menace was still on par with that of Satan's. At that moment, their pity shifted from their now-female-friends to the responsible factory. They prayed for its safety, in case Akashi decided to do something.

`v'

After the second bar, Kuroko was already dead drunk.

"Damn Tetsu's still super weak with alcohol."

Aomine perked up as an idea entered his perverted mind, "Can't be helped! I'll take Tetsu's home."

"No." Akashi slapped Aomine's hands away from the half-unconscious busty-Kuroko, "I'll take him home. I can't trust Tetsuya into a wolf's den."

Akashi leaned Kuroko onto his shoulder and almost fell over. Apparently, his strength was reduced to that of a high school girl's too, and busty-Kuroko was heavier than male-Kuroko. Probably due to all those meat and fats filling his curves.

"Hahaha! Just lemme take her- him home, Akashi!"

"Ryouta, give me a hand," ordered Akashi, ignoring the tanned guy who kept complaining to his ex-captain.

"Okay-ssu~!"

`v'

Day 2

`v'

Akashi woke up early as he usually did. He looked around the unfamiliar room for a while and then remembered that he stayed over at Kuroko's place last night.

'Tsk, still a female, huh...'

A big headache hit him when he tried to get up.

'Ugh, curse you, Ryouta...' The redhead also remembered another drinking party at Kuroko's place. Kise had insisted they drank again and Akashi went along with the blonde's whim. And that was the last thing he remembered before everything turned blurry and then blank.

Akashi took a deep breath before trying to get up again. Just when he got up from the tatami, his legs buckled under him. Somehow his lower region felt uncomfortable and sore. He wanted to curse again when he felt something trickled down his legs. Akashi looked down his body and his eyes widened at the sight.

He was buck naked and his whole body, from his chest to his thighs, was covered in bruises of varying sizes. And white liquid was still trickling down his thighs from his... 'women part'. He glanced at Kuroko who was also buck naked and splayed over the low table in the centre of the small room. His busty body was also full of bruises... and traces of dried semen. Just between Akashi and the table, Kise was sleeping, also naked, save for his unbuttoned shirt.

Immediately, comprehension of what must have happened the night before turned the redhead into Satan incarnate.

"Ryoutaa...," and mayhem ensued in that humble apartment of Kuroko's.

Omake

"Isn't it weird Kurokocchi has bigger breasts than Akashicchi? I mean, he's always so small and thin-ssu."

"Who cares? We just have to be grateful he's got a nice 'n big pair to ogle at!"

"You mean, you have to be grateful, Aominecchi. I don't have boob-fetish. I've class-ssu, unlike Aominecchi. I think supple breasts like Akashicchi's are prettier. Ah, but I still like Kurokocchi!"

"Shut up. No one cares what you like. Akashi's still got nothing but manboobs even when he turns into a girl."

"Wow, we've got a real boobaholic here. There's no helping you anymore, Aominecchi. Well, I suggest you cover your balls if you still want them alive. I'm off-ssu!"

Kise ran out of the bar at the speed of light, scared for his life.

"Huh?"

Unknown to Aomine, a certain red haired Satan-incarnate was towering behind him, made big and tall by his aura despite his mediocre height. The pair of red and gold eyes was glinting in anticipation of delivering a universe-worth of pain to the tanned teen.