Long Distance Call

Chapter 5: Come and Find Me

AN 1: Well, here is yet another chapter of Long Distance Call. Once again, I hope that this is still a story that people are interested in, despite my random update times. I'm gonna say it now, this chapter isn't as long as the other ones, but I'm trying to give you guys the best that I can. This chapter takes place at the end of Episode 7x1 "It Takes A Village". The quote at the end of the chapter, the song lyrics right below, and just all of Criminal Minds in general, do not belong to me. I simply borrowed what I needed and went from there. Anyways...on to the story!

Though I'm here in this far off place

My air is not this time and space

I draw you close with every breath

You don't know it's right until it's wrong

You don't know it's yours until it's gone

I didn't know that it was home 'till you up and left

Come and find me now

-Come and Find Me by Josh Ritter

JJ's POV:

"The committee made it clear they will not tolerate a rogue team," Strauss stated firmly, giving all of us a stern look. "Agent Prentiss," she continued, turning her sharp gaze to Emily, "convinced them that you were not that." I fought back a smile at her words. Of course Emily had managed to convince them. "They will be watching you closely…so I suggest you play by their rules."

Garcia broke the silence that had descended around us. "So, we're okay?" she asked, voice filled with hope.

"Suspension is lifted for everyone," Strauss confirmed.

"Thank you, ma'am," I said, knowing that it was important to thank her as much as Emily. She had come through for us as well, as shocking as it seemed. I suppose that there's a first time for everything.

Her blue eyes once again rested on Emily. "There may be some more paperwork considering your…situation," she said delicately, and opened her hands in a welcoming gesture. "But the team is lucky to have you. If you're interested."

I looked at Emily, taking in the surprised look she had on her face. Her response shook me to the core. "May I think about it?" she asked in a formal voice. I fought to keep the surprised look off of my face. What was there to think about? She's finally home; why would she want to think about coming back?

"Of course," Strauss replied, just as formally.

Without missing a beat, Emily gave her answer. "I'm in," she said, and chuckled at hearing the team's sighs of relief. I shook my head slightly, the smile I had been fighting since Strauss had assembled us finally breaking out. Leave it to Emily, I thought as the rest of the team smiled as well.

"I have a stack of cases on my desk," Strauss said, once again speaking to the group. "I'm happy to pass them along." I was once again surprised, this time by the amicable tone of her voice. That was as unusual as her supporting our decisions instead of simply placing us on the chopping block.

"I'll pick them up in the morning," Hotch replied as she left.

"Emily, um," Derek called, causing all of us to turn our attention on him. The hurt look he had worn since the revelation of Emily's faked death was still present underneath the surface, but he didn't call her out on the deception. "What did you tell them?" he asked.

She took a deep breath and brushed her bangs out of her face. "I told them 'The only people that I know who could accomplish that mission just walked out. They do their jobs with integrity. And most importantly, they honor their oath. "I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic. I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same. That I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion. That I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office of which I am about to enter, so help me God."'"

Garcia was the one to break the silence that followed her admission. "You always did have that flair for eloquence," she said, sweeping past everyone to wrap Emily in a firm hug. Just like that, the tension in the room was broken, and the team laughed.

"Well, what else was I supposed to say?" Emily asked in a slightly embarrassed tone. "Not that I didn't mean it, of course."

I gave her a smile. "That may be true, but the way you said 'May I think about it?' really threw us all for a loop." Her cheeks reddened even more at my words.

"I was just messing with her," she replied with a smile. "Lord knows that woman assumes enough already; I was just knocking her down a little." The team burst into laughter at her admission. I gave her a quick hug; it was beyond good to have her back, especially now that she had been formally reinstated into the unit.

Reid's smile was the first to fade, and he began to head towards the door. "I'm sorry, guys," he said, gathering his shoulder bag from his seat and slinging it over his shoulder. "I told my mom that I would call her tonight and let her know how the hearing went. I'll see you later."

"Do you have to leave right now?" I asked him. I had thought he was happy that Emily was back, but his behavior seemed much to withdrawn for me to ignore whatever it was that he was hiding.

"Yep," he replied, already out the door.

Morgan watched him leave before turning back to Emily. "Princess, you know I'm happy that you aren't actually dead, but I need to get going too. I need some time to clear my head."

She gave him a small, understanding smile. "Of course," she replied. He swept her into a quick hug before he also retreated from the room.

Garcia turned to me. "You know," she said in a thoughtful tone. "I should be mad at you for keeping this from me." She turned to look at Emily. "Both of you," she continued, causing Emily to wince at her severe tone. "But I'm just so glad you're back," she gushed, and embraced Emily in a bear hug. I chuckled at her exuberance. At least there was one person that we could count on to not hold the decision we had made all those months ago against us. "We need to have another girl's night," she said in the same excited tone, moving to embrace me in a whirlwind of color as she did so. "Pronto."

I laughed and returned her hug, my grip just as tight as hers was. "Of course," Emily and I responded simultaneously, causing everyone who remained to laugh as well at the way that we had responded.

Rossi moved behind us to clap a hand on Emily's shoulder. "It's good to have you back, kiddo," he said. He pulled her into a swift hug. "Really good," he murmured, barely loud enough for the rest of us to hear. His response caused the small flare of hope that had been burgeoning in my chest since Penelope's easy acceptance of Emily's return to burn brighter.

"It's good to be back," she replied, gripping his shoulders tightly.

Hotch moved to the door. "I expect to see all of you on Monday," he said, the soft smile on his lips betraying how he really felt about having the team fully back together for the first time in almost a year. "Emily," he called, causing her head to whip in his direction. "It's good to see you again," he finished, his smile widening just a fraction of an inch. Rossi moved to follow him out, the smile on his face unconcealed.

"See you Monday," he echoed, waving a hand behind him as he walked out.

I linked my arm through hers after Rossi had let her go. "Ready to go back home?" I asked, giving her a quick glance.

She exhaled. "Yeah," she murmured.

"I'll walk you guys out," Garcia chimed in, linking her arm with Emily's free one. We walked out of the Bureau, smiling and laughing like a day hadn't gone by that one or more of us were gone. "Remember, girls' night, soon!" Garcia called out as Emily and I climbed into my car.

The smile faded from Emily's face as soon as the car doors were shut. "Hey," I called, noticing her Agent Prentiss mask falling neatly into place. "Are you okay?"

She gave me a tired half-smile. "I'm fine," she said quietly. She began to pick at her fingernails, which were already worn down from the stress of being on the run for the last seven months. "Can you do me a favor?"

I peered into her deep brown eyes, searching for answers that weren't forthcoming. "What is it?" I asked finally.

"Drop me off a couple blocks from here?" she asked. I finally managed to isolate an emotion in those beautiful eyes, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. The emotion I recognized was fear. Her teeth captured her bottom lip between them as she waited for my answer.

"Okay," I agreed softly, and started my car without another word. The car ride was silent as I pulled out of the parking structure and turned down the road. My mind was racing; what could she possibly want to be dropped off for? I thought we had moved past all the secrecy by this point.

"Here's good," she said suddenly, gathering her things. She had the door opened before I had pulled to a complete stop. "I'll see you later, Jayje."

"Emily," I called, causing her to stop from shutting the door. I looked into the brown eyes I hadn't seen in months and felt a twinge of fear at what she could possibly be doing. As her eyes met mine, I found myself incapable of saying what I had originally planned on saying. "I'm here for you, you know that, right?" I asked finally.

She flashed me a small smile. "I know," she replied, before shutting the door and striding off without a second glance in my direction.

I watched her retreating figure until it was swallowed up by the abundant foot traffic before I restarted my car and headed home. She'd call me when she was ready to come back. Or at least that's what I hoped.

Approximately ten minutes later, I pulled up to the curb in front of my house. "Mommy!" Henry called out from his position in the front yard before he raced towards me. Will emerged from the house to plant a quick kiss on my lips after I scooped up my son.

"Where's Emily?" Will asked, glancing towards the empty passenger seat of the car.

"She had an errand to run," I replied, walking towards the door with Henry still in my arms.

"Is Emmy leaving again?" Henry asked, his blue eyes widening. "I don't want her to leave. She promised she'd stay, Mommy. She promised."

I kissed his nose in an attempt to calm him. "She isn't leaving, little man," I said, although I was unsure of what she was doing. "We just had a really long day today. Emily is just having a little time to herself. She'll be back before you know it."

He held out his right pinky towards my face. "Promise?" he asked.

"Promise," I replied, linking pinkies with him as I did so. I set him down in the doorway. "Now, how about you go get ready for dinner for me?"

Will moved to wrap his arms around my waist as we watched him race off. "So, chère," he drawled, "what was the verdict?"

I smiled as he placed a soft kiss on the back of my neck. "Suspension is lifted," I replied. "We start back on Monday."

I could hear the forced excitement in his voice as he responded. "That's great," he murmured. "Real great." We moved towards the kitchen, where he had dinner waiting on the counter. "So where is Emily, really?" he asked, busying himself with reaching for plates and glasses from the cabinet next to him and keeping his eyes trained on anything but me.

I exhaled. "I don't know," I replied before running a hand through my hair. "She asked me to drop her off a couple of blocks away from the BAU and just walked off. I don't have a clue what she would want there, Will."

His eyes found mine as he handed me a glass of water he had just poured. "Well, if there's one thing we both know by now," he said in a soothing voice, "is that Emily Prentiss can take care of herself." He turned away. "I still can't believe that you didn't tell me she was alive though," he muttered. I wasn't sure if he had intended for me to hear this, but I felt my temper flare.

"I couldn't," I countered. "It wasn't something I could talk about. With anyone. Hell, the only time Hotch and I even brought it up was when I was told I would be her contact for her reassignment identities and when he told me she was coming back. The whole point of saying she was dead was to keep her safe. No one could know."

Will whirled to face me. "You kept this from me," he replied quietly, fighting to keep his voice level so our son wouldn't overhear the conversation. "How am I supposed to trust you if you keep things like this from me?"

"It's not about that," I retorted, struggling to keep my voice steady as well. "I couldn't. You have no idea how much I wanted to be able to tell everyone, but I couldn't."

"You told Henry that she was coming back," he muttered. "You told him."

"Oh, well, busted," I fired back. "I told my three-year-old that Emily had to go away on a trip. If you had an idea on how to tell him someone close to us died, you certainly weren't saying anything then. And something tells me that you still have no idea, so don't even go there. That's a normal parent reaction to telling their child that someone is dead if they're young. I wouldn't be the first to use it, and I highly doubt I'll be the last."

Will sent me a hurt look. "I'm sorry, chère. I just wish I could've known, so I could help you through it."

I ran a hand over my face tiredly. "Let's just not talk about it right now," I said softly. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't share it. Let's just eat and spend some time together, okay?"

He nodded and placed an apologetic kiss on my cheek. "Okay."

Henry saved us from the awkward silence by running full-tilt into my arms. "Mommy," he squealed as I picked him up. "Time to eat, right?"

I smiled and kissed his nose quickly, causing him to giggle at the sensation. "Time to eat," I replied, keeping my voice completely level. Henry didn't need to know about the disagreement I had just had with his father, and he didn't need to know how worried about Emily I was. I set him down and allowed him to lead me towards the dinner table. The conversation didn't exactly flow; I could tell that Will was still upset and was unsure of how to start a conversation with me at the moment, and Henry was simply content to shovel his macaroni and cheese in his mouth and all over his placemat. It wasn't until after he had decided that he was full that he brought up Emily again.

"Mommy," he said seriously, looking at me with his wide blue eyes, "you said that Emmy would be back soon."

"I know, buddy," I replied, picking him up out of his high chair and carrying him towards his bedroom. I set him down in his room and he looked up at me with those wide, innocent eyes. "She'll be back," I said in a confident voice. "Emily always comes back, right?"

Henry looked up to me with those innocent eyes. "Right," he agreed. "Even when it takes a really, really long time."

The worry I had been fighting against since Emily had first asked me to drop her off increased after I put Henry to bed. It had been over three hours since I had heard from her. No texts, no phone calls; absolutely nothing. And while I knew that Emily could handle herself, I was also incredibly worried. What if something had happened to her? What if she had disappeared again? I tapped my phone against the palm of my right hand and bit my lip. Should I call her?

"Jayje," Will's voice called from our bathroom, momentarily snapping me out of my internal debate. "Baby, is everything alright? You look upset." I felt a flicker of annoyance at his use of the word "baby". That was one pet name that I could never stand; yet, every guy I had ever entered a relationship with insisted on using it. I had given up on attempting to get him to stop using it at this point.

"I'm worried about Emily," I confessed, standing up and slipping my phone in my back pocket as I did so. "I think I'm gonna go look for her."

Will frowned at me. "I thought we agreed that she could take care of herself," he said, tone showing his displeasure. "And I thought we were going to spend some time alone together tonight."

The annoyance I had been feeling began to build, and I clamped down on the feeling firmly. Getting upset wouldn't get us anywhere. "I'm sorry," I replied, moving into the closet and grabbing a jacket. "But she just got back stateside after living like a ghost for seven months. I can't just abandon her." I pulled the jacket on quickly, and crossed the room to press a quick kiss to his cheek. "I'll make it up to you," I promised, willing him to understand.

A small, sad smile appeared on his face. "A man can only hear 'I'll make it up to you' so many times, JJ," he stated quietly. "Sometimes you have to put family first."

"She's family too," I replied, voice matching his. Without waiting to hear what he had to say to that, I walked out of our bedroom quickly, dialing a familiar number as I went. Surprisingly, she answered on the first ring.

"Hello?" her voice floated through the receiver, sounding rough and shaky, as if she had been crying recently.

"Emily," I replied, relieved she had actually answered. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," came the reply, although I could swear I heard her sniffle slightly.

I opened my car door and quickly climbed in. "You don't sound fine to me," I observed, starting the car and pulling out of my driveway as I did so. "Where are you? I'll come get you."

I heard her chuckle weakly, and I felt my lips tugging upwards into a small smile of my own at hearing her laugh again, despite her tone of voice. "I don't suppose you'll take 'no' for an answer," she said shakily. "I'm…well, I'm at my gravesite."

The smile faded off of my face as quickly as it had appeared. "Give me about fifteen minutes," I said, fighting to keep the emotion out of my voice. Of all the places she had to be, why on earth would she have picked her fake grave? I hadn't returned to that place since we had buried that casket. I had no desire to go back to that awful site ever again. Emily wasn't dead, and I had refused to visit the tangible reminder of the deception I had participated in. And what could she have possibly wanted to accomplish by visiting the site in the first place?

"Okay," she murmured. "Jenn?"

"Yeah," I replied quietly.

"Will you stay on the phone with me? You don't have to say anything…just please, don't hang up."

I nodded quickly, before remembering that she couldn't see me. "Yes," I replied softly. "Of course I will."

Much sooner than I was really comfortable with, I was at that familiar graveyard. "I'm here," I told her quietly, getting out of my car. It's funny, I thought to myself as I walked through the yard. I haven't been back before today, and I could still tell you exactly where we buried that box.

"Come and find me," she replied, sounding as if she was about to start crying once more before she hung up.

I walked down the path leading to her grave quickly, not wanting to spend any more time here than absolutely necessary. I found her sitting in front of the headstone, and knelt down next to her. "Em?"

"I wanted to see it," she explained, running a hand through her hair and sighing softly. "I wasn't expecting to be out this long, I just…when I got here, it was like everything just hit me all at once. What I put you guys through…it's one thing knowing, and another entirely to see what exactly you had to sit through." She swiped away a stray tear that was making its way down her ivory cheek angrily. "And the sad part is that I didn't fully realize just how much I cared about everyone until they were gone." I glanced at her from the corner of my eye, noticing that she was fighting back tears.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close to me, ignoring the slight protests I received in the process. "It's okay, Emily." I said quietly, keeping my arms locked around her. "You're safe with me. Let it out."

Emily let out a watery chuckle and settled her head against my shoulder. "When I was growing up, showing weakness like this was completely unacceptable. You learn to compartmentalize extremely quickly if you want to survive. I'm sorry you have to see this now. I shouldn't be this way."

I ran my fingers through her hair softly. "To be angry, or sad, or scared, is to be human. To feel at all is human. It's okay. I said you were safe with me and I meant it. You don't have to compartmentalize here, with me. All of this emotion is proof that you're alive, Em." I stood up, pulling her with me. "Now come on. Forget this place. You're here now, and that's what matters. You're alive."

We started walking back to my car in companionable silence. "Thank you, Jennifer." The use of my full name startled me briefly, but it was quickly erased by the realization that I liked hearing my name coming from her.

I reached over the center console, grabbed her hand, and squeezed it gently, silently telling her that I would always be there to help fix her when she was feeling broken.

"When we were children, we used to think when we grew up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability. To be alive is to be vulnerable.

-Madeleine L'Engle

AN 2: And there it is, guys! Not exactly as long as my previous chapters, but I hope that you enjoyed it nonetheless! Please let me know how you like the story so far. I know my updates are sporadic, but I promise that I do have a vision on where this is going and how to get there, so at least there's something. Anyways...Darklighter out.