Literally The First Collegiate Adventure Spanning History, Gender, Music, and Love

A/N: Hi everyone! It's Jyder week! Every day this week (Monday, June 24th – Sunday, June 30th) there will be a different daily theme.

Anyway, for my contribution I decided to create a little mini-series. It's actually going to have a linear progression with all the chapters set in chronological order within the same story universe. I hope you guys enjoy it!

Jyder Week Theme: Family

Chapter 1 – Literally

"Dad, I need to tell you something," Ryder said, setting down his fork and glancing at his father across the dining room table. He hadn't actually eaten anything yet, just rearranged the food on his plate.

Jake clinked his own fork lightly against his plate, drawing Ryder's attention and giving him an encouraging smile. He could tell how nervous Ryder was about the revelation he was about to make. When Ryder had told him what he intended to do and asked Jake if he could come over for dinner to make things less awkward, Jake had gladly accepted the invitation, secretly pleased that Ryder had come to him for support.

"Well then you should certainly tell me, Son," Dr. Keith Lynn answered. He didn't completely understand the social convention of people announcing the fact that they were about to make a statement or pose a question prior to actually doing it, but he pretended to find the preliminary information useful and took the opportunity to set his wineglass down and direct his full attention to Ryder.

"This is kinda difficult to say," Ryder answered, swallowing hard.

"If you mispronounce something I'll correct you," Keith responded with a helpful smile.

"I think he means more in a 'not pleasant to talk about' sense," Jake explained. Ordinarily when he visited the household, Jake found Dr. Lynn's literal-minded tendencies amusing. This time, however, he was annoyed on Ryder's behalf that the man was unintentionally making things more difficult.

"Ah, well if it's unpleasant perhaps we shouldn't discuss it over dinner. It's a very common biological response for one's appetite to become suppressed as a result of stress or anxiety; although, I'm usually immune to such things."

"Dad, I can't eat," Ryder said, inclining his head toward his uneaten meal.

"There you see. I was right," Keith remarked, nodding to himself in vindication.

"Since Ryder already isn't eating, and you just said it wouldn't bother you, why don't you let him go ahead and discuss it," Jake suggested, earning himself a grateful look from Ryder.

"That's a very logical argument, Jacob," Keith praised before considering things further. "However, mightn't it adversely affect your own appetite?"

"I think I'll be okay," Jake answered.

"Very well then. Please continue with your unsavory topic, Ryder." Keith wondered if either of the teenagers would appreciate his witticism. They didn't seem to.

"Do you remember when I was eleven?"

"Oh yes, of course. I have an excellent memory, and it was only a few years ago. Naturally due to your relatively young age, your perception of time is biased toward that seeming like much longer ago. I, however, still have a very vivid and full recollection of the time period."

"Do you remember Stacy?"

"I believe I knew three Stacys that year. You mustn't be talking about my lab assistant because you've never met her. Do you mean Stacy your former babysitter or Stacy who used to work at the bank?"

"Stacy the babysitter."

Keith nodded. "Yes, I just demonstrated that I recall her. How is she pertinent to tonight's discussion?"

"Uh...well she...one time she..." Ryder trailed off. His heart was pounding and his hands were cold and sweaty. This was harder than he'd expected.

"Jacob, you're nearer in proximity. Would you oblige me by rubbing my son's back in a consoling fashion please? It may help lower his cortisol levels and enable him to complete the articulation of his information."

Jake frowned at the man, annoyed by his behavior, as he reached over and patted Ryder's back then began rubbing soothing circles into it.

"Try using the phrase 'there there.' Even though it's essentially meaningless, many people seem to find it very comforting."

Jake rolled his eyes and ignored the man. "Bro, do you want me to tell him for you?"

Ryder shook his head, embarrassed that he was being so weak in front of his friend, and also mortified about the way his father was behaving. He himself expected this kind of thing, and he was trying not to take it personally, but he knew that to Jake it must seem like his dad was a robot. He unconsciously leaned farther back against Jake's touch and reminded himself that Jake not only knew his secret, but also knew what his dad was like. He could trust Jake.

"Thanks dude, but I need to do this," Ryder said. He took a deep breath and returned his gaze to his father. "Dad, when I was eleven Stacy molested me. I was in the shower and she just walked and started...touching me."

Keith nodded and took a sip from his wineglass. "Yes, I knew that."

Ryder and Jake both stared at Ryder's father, their mouths partially open in surprise.

"You knew?" Ryder asked, his brow furrowed and his hands clenched.

"Yes, she was arrested last year for doing the same thing to another boy. She confessed to her crime against you when she gave her statement to the police. They called and notified me." Keith glanced awkwardly at his son, unsure of what to say. "I was very displeased when I found out."

"You-you didn't talk to me about it."

"I thought you had repressed the experience. You weren't displaying any of the signs and symptoms of someone who had been molested. A preponderance of recent research has indicated that repression can often have a positive, protective effect on one's psyche. Thus, I decided it was better not to bring it up."

Anger flashed in Ryder's dark eyes and he abruptly stood up from the table, knocking his chair over in the process.

"Ryder, wait!" Jake said as he tried unsuccessfully to grab his arm. Before he could do so, Ryder jerked it away and ran out of the room. A few seconds later Jake heard him running up the stairs and then his door slammed.

Jake turned and glared at Dr. Lynn. "What is wrong with you?"

"Hmm, well I'm severely myopic and I suffer from occasional constipation," Keith responded.

Blind and full of shit – that sounded about right to Jake.

"Are you gonna go after Ryder?" Jake demanded, raising his hands and shrugging incredulously.

"No," Keith answered simply, picking up his fork and returning to his meal.

"Dontcha think you should?" Jake prompted in the same slow, patronizing voice he normally reserved for small children.

"No, I've learned through empirical observation that when Ryder abruptly departs like that in distress, if I follow him and attempt to re-engage him in discourse, he invariably becomes hostile and shouts irrational invective at me."

"Maybe that's because you're such a dumbass," Jake answered.

"Ah, now I know that when Ryder is in a state of distress his close friends may also behave in an angry, irrational way. I would need to make further observations to determine if this constitutes a pattern of behavior or if it is merely a fluke, but my hypothesis is that there is indeed a correlation."

"Dude, you're talking about hypothesises and correlations, and your son just friggin told you he was molested! You seriously need to reign in the science lecture and go check on him."

"The correct plural of 'hypothesis' is 'hypotheses,' and this is by no means a lecture, Jacob. For one thing we're freely exchanging ideas and opinions rather than one of us unilaterally imparting information upon the other. Granted, my information has more applicable value than yours, but nevertheless–"

"Do you not care that Ryder is hurting right now?"

"Yes, of course I care. Ryder is my son, and just as most parents hold a deep, enduring affection for their offspring, so too do I. In fact, I'm experiencing significant emotional upheaval even as we speak, and I very much wish there were something I could do to alleviate his suffering. I'm merely being realistic about the fact that I am powerless. The past is the past and cannot be altered."

"You could let him know you're there for him," Jake said.

Keith's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "But I'm not there. I'm here."

"You need to tell him that what happened to him wasn't his fault, that there's nothing to be ashamed of."

"My son isn't stupid. I'm sure he realizes that he has no culpability in the sexually deviant behavior of his babysitter. In the unlikely scenario that he doesn't understand this, I doubt my opinion would give him any particular clarity."

Jake gritted his teeth and glared at the man. "Do you know how much he looks up to you?"

"Not precisely. Most male adolescents aren't apt to express unguarded statements of admiration toward their fathers. However, I presume that I continue to wield a considerable influence in his life."

"He basically idolizes you for some ridiculous reason. He was terrified that you would be disappointed about his dyslexia. Don't you think he's going to be worried that you'll think less of him for this too?"

"Ah yes, I was indeed very disappointed about his dyslexia," Keith said wistfully, "But this has no bearing on that. It wasn't as though Stacy the babysitter came with a written warning label sewn onto the front of her sweater proclaiming her intent to molest. Besides, even if she had, I could have simply read it myself and averted the situation."

"Wait, so you were disappointed about his dyslexia?" Jake demanded, angry and surprised by this newest revelation.

"Yes, of course. I'm an academic, Jacob. Naturally I'm going to be disappointed that my son has a learning disability. It's comparable to how if I were a professional athlete I would undoubtedly be dismayed if he had poor hand-eye coordination."

Jake continued to glower at him, so Keith decided to clarify his position. "However, it certainly doesn't changes my feelings for him. I'm disappointed, but it in no way weakens our parent-child bond. Neither does this. Regardless of who touches his genitals I'm going to love him just the same."

"Okay, well I'm actually going to go let him know verbally that I give a crap about him."

"That's a wonderful idea, Jacob! It's very good for his psychosocial development to feel a sense of connectedness with his peers.

"You're a giant douchebag," Jake declared as he walked away from the table.

Dr. Lynn called after him. "I assure you, Jacob, I would be thoroughly ineffectual if used as a device for feminine hygiene. In fact even when I was still married to Ryder's mother I was never involved in the cleansing irrigation of her vagina."

-000-

Ryder was lying on his bed fighting the urge to cry as mental images replayed themselves on a loop in his head. Between telling his secret to Katie, then the glee club, and now his dad, Ryder had thought more about the molestation in the past week than he had in the entire year proceeding this string of revelations. Now, every time he closed his eyes he flashed back to that hot shower, the predatory look on Stacy's face, the feeling of insistent fingers on his skin, the relentless swirl of shame, fear, confusion, and betrayal.

"Ryder, can I come in?" Jake called through the door as he knocked softly.

Ryder opened his mouth to answer, but then stopped himself, worried his voice would belie his efforts to appear calm. Instead he rolled off the bed and silently went to answer the door, briefly checking himself in the mirror over his dresser to confirm that there were no traces of tears. Satisfied, he opened the door, then turned away from Jake, sitting back down on his bed.

"You okay?" Jake asked, shutting the door behind him and then cautiously taking a seat on the bed next to Ryder.

Ryder shrugged, still not trusting himself to make a verbal response.

"It took a lot of guts to tell him...I'm guessing he's not always the easiest guy to talk to."

"Not really," Ryder answered carefully, proud of how steady his response came out.

"Well, just so you know, anytime you want to talk about it, or hang out and not talk about it, I'm here." Jake gave Ryder's shoulder a squeeze and left his hand in place, hoping to get his friend to make eye contact. When Ryder finally did just that, Jake was alarmed by what he saw: Ryder's dark brown eyes were dim and tormented, his face a mask of anguish. He looked on the verge of a complete breakdown.

"C'mere," Jake said, opening his arms and gently patting Ryder's shoulder in encouragement.

Ryder resisted for a few seconds and then looked away as he slowly leaned forward and allowed himself to be enveloped by Jake's strong embrace. Ryder sighed deeply as he at last wrapped his own arms around Jake's back and relaxed. He still felt ashamed and self-conscious, but it was also an overwhelming relief to finally be getting actual support and comfort for what had happened to him.

"Did I just blow this whole thing way out of proportion?" Ryder asked, ignoring the thick emotion permeating his voice. He felt safe now; he knew Jake wouldn't tease him for it.

Jake pulled out of the hug so that he could make eye contact with Ryder, leaving his hands firmly in place on each of Ryder's biceps. "Of course you didn't," he assured him, giving his arms another small squeeze. "You were molested, dude. That is a big deal."

"But the other guys thought it was cool, and my dad...didn't even think it was worth reacting to and...I dunno, maybe I just freaked out over nothing."

Jake shook his head as he tried to think of the right thing to say. Eventually he settled on, "Sam and Artie have no concept of what it would really have been like. Sam was referencing movies for christsake. And your dad...doesn't really react to stuff like normal people."

"So you don't think I should have just fist pumped the air when it happened and gone with it?" Ryder asked for confirmation.

Jake snickered and shook his head. "Nah, sexual stuff should always be consensual. Like it would even be totally understandable if right now Kitty, or some other hot chick our age, walked in and started groping you and tryin' to make you do stuff and you freaked out. I mean, personally I'd probably go with it," Jake said with a smirk before continuing, "But you always have the right to say no, and if someone, anyone, doesn't respect that and back off, then it's not okay. The fact that you were only eleven and this girl was way older – that was seriously fucked up."

"Thanks man," Ryder said with a sincere smile as he spontaneously felt the urge to pull Jake in for another hug. After a moment's deliberation he decided to do just that. He still felt vulnerable, confused, and emotionally raw, but in an almost perverse way it felt good that someone was finally telling him it was okay to feel that way.

Jake left a few minutes later, once again reiterating that he was always available to talk, or not talk, as Ryder saw fit. Ryder found himself wishing that he had simply confided in Jake, and only Jake, to begin with. As he was still pondering the unexpected way everything had worked out, there was another knock on his now-open bedroom door.

"Ryder," Keith called from the doorway, a hint of anxiety playing across his studious features. "I would like to enter your room, take a seat, and than have a conversation with you about the subject we briefly discussed at dinner. Would you be amenable to this series of events?"

Ryder started to say no, fully aware that if he did his father would quietly leave without further discussion. However, Ryder's curiosity got the better of him, and he was still in a more open mood from his chat with Jake. "Sure, Dad."

Keith walked in and seated himself in the chair by Ryder's desk. He took a moment to marshal his thoughts as Ryder waited patiently. He was grateful that his son always seemed to understand his need to mentally review things before he began an important discussion. He couldn't recall having ever outright articulated this need to Ryder, so he wasn't sure how Ryder had even come to know it.

"Son, I assume that you are already cognizant of the facts that I am about to enumerate. However, Jacob strongly advised me to nevertheless state them in no uncertain terms, and though I think it unnecessary, I'm more than willing to err on the side of possible redundancy if it may bear the potential to make you feel better." Keith inwardly congratulated himself for remembering to consider, let alone verbalize, concerns about emotions.

"Ryder, the unconscionable actions of your babysitter were in no way your fault and you should not hold yourself accountable for them, not even to a small degree. You should not feel ashamed of yourself, for you did nothing shameful. No amount of reprehensible acts committed on, or even by, you would ever alter my affection for you. You are my son and I am very proud of you and I love you very much. I would also like to express my deepest regret for not protecting you from Stacy the babysitter in the first place. I'm sorry that I failed you in that regard."

Ryder felt himself choking up as he stood and wrapped his arms around his father, pulling the man to his feet as he hugged him.

"Thanks Dad," Ryder whispered.

"There, there," Keith said woodenly as he held Ryder close and rubbed his back. He wasn't sure about Ryder, but he felt his own cortisol levels dropping.

-000-

End Note: Please let me know what you thought of this first installment if you get the chance! This first chapter of course kept things in the 'friendship only' zone for the boys, but tomorrow's theme is "Firsts" and as you might expect, that means things are going to heat up a bit for them romantically.