Alone I Break

The shook made them all stumble. "It has begun", Regina said, still drinking in the sight of her son. Her beautiful son. The bitterness started seeping away as he smiled, and the cold, deep feeling within her warmed to a slight chill. For you, I do anything, she thought as her mind decided.

"I can only slow it down", Regina said, realising for the first time in days she actually didn't want things to fall apart. Not completely. And when she told him she was to blame for everything, something twisted inside her. "I'll love you no matter what happens", she told him as the beautiful moment was ruined yet again by the entrance of the pirate. Just the look of his face made David punch him straight down, and for the first time Regina actually thought he did the right thing. It's a first for everything.

Entering the mines, Regina's determination again turned rock solid. She would end this. One way or another. There probably were better ways to stop the trigger, but she wanted this. She wanted it to end with her. She wanted to feel the rush of the magic surge through her, take her over and finally undo her. She wanted it all.

Maybe it was her determination, or maybe the madness and lost look in Regina's eyes, but Emma felt the world slipping away. Where was the woman she had kissed? The woman who cared for her son? The others might see this as Regina's redemption arc and a turn to heroism, but Emma knew better. This was yet another way for Regina to try to end it all.

As they approached device, Regina's face mirrored the sadness within her. Saying goodbye to Henry had drained the hope from looking into his eyes, and here now without him, the coldness crept deeper into her. "Slowing the device It's going to require all the strength I have".

"You're not coming with us, are you?" Emma shivered as the words fell out of her mouth. "When you said good-bye to Henry, you were saying good-bye?" She felt something change. Something she couldn't describe. And as she met Regina's eyes, her heart broke all over again.

"He knows I love him, doesn't he?"

Emma was getting desperate, there had to be another way, it just have to! All the words floated in her mind, the things she wanted to say… don't give up, don't leave me, please stay… but all she said was "Regina"

"You were right, you know." Regina mused into the air, "Everything that's happening it's my fault.
I created this device. It's only fitting that it takes my life."

And there it was. What Regina wanted all along. To end it. To make everything go away. To stop the coldness within her, which was spreading through every part of her body now. The madness consumed her. She was lost. Emma could see the emptiness in the other woman's eyes, and felt a chill on down her spine. For a moment, she could even swear she saw the white glimmer of a shadow pass by them.

"What am I supposed to tell Henry?", Emma heard herself ask, desperate to find something to say, some way to fix this, but she felt so drained, so useless. But maybe the name of their son could be enough to draw Regina out of this trance?

Regina shivered. It was so cold down here in the mines, and she felt her voice grow coarse. I have to get rid of her, a voice whispered in Regina's mind. "Tell him that in the end, it wasn't too late for me to do the right thing." She heard her self formulate sentences, words flowing through her that she didn't know she possessed.

Emma was losing the battle, feeling desperate. She didn't know what to say, what to think. So she whispered, two simple words. "Regina, please"…

Regina met her eyes. Let the hollowness really show through, the sadness, the hopelessness… "Everyone looks at me as the Evil Queen, including my son." Her heart felt frozen. She felt numb. The words hang empty in the depth of the caves, and she felt herself fall into a frozen lake of nothingness. "Let me die as Regina".

Emma was at a loss. The whole town was falling apart, and Regina wanted to go with it. As she returned to Henry and her parents, she tried finding solutions, but her brain came up empty. The image of Neal falling down that hole still haunted her mind, and the lost look in Regina's eyes.. No. She was angry. Very angry. To just give up. Let go. Fuck them. If that was what Regina really wanted, then so be it. Let her fall. She was done saving someone that didn't want saving.

She hugged Henry tight as her parents talked. Her parents. Her family. And now they too would be ripped away from her, like every one else. And when they whispered "She's family, we don't leave family behind", she though to herself angrily no, you just ship them to another dimension through a tree.

She heard herself mirror Regina's speech to Henry. Comfort him. Lie to him and say things would be all right. It wouldn't of course, it never would be OK again, and she could not handle losing another of her kid's parents. Another lover.

As the words entered her mind she was shocked. Was that what Regina had become in her mind? A lover? No, that was ridiculous. They just shared a kid, that was all. And had some bad decisions, Regina had made it perfectly clear how little it meant to her. This was all Emma's fears and mind making her think stupid things because Regina was in danger. All Regina wanted was power, or death or both? And Henry. They had just sought comfort in each other, that was all. To feel something, to… Emma's mind wandered. Fuck, she thought I have to stop her.

They returned to the caves with a bean. A magic bean. And a solution. They would send it away through a portal, saving the day. Yep. Clever plan. Except there was no bean. And as the Charmings said their heartfelt goodbyes to one another, Regina was engulfed by the magic.

It was pouring out of her and into the crystal, and as a vessel she felt it burn. Everything burned. She was on fire. She was fire. Like a drug, it surged through her veins, pounding, pumping, flowing. She felt every heartbeat like a throb, her veins bulged, her energy was drawn out of her, sucked into the object in front of her. She could contain it, but would it be the end of her? She couldn't be certain, as the end had been such a hard thing to come by.

Her eyes glowed with the magic, and her stiff arms soaked up the heat. She was shaking, and behind her a voice told her to keep going, take it all. The shimmering white maiden she knew too well urged her on. Do it, she heard the winter whisper into her mind, let yourself be consumed, shed your human skin and let me consume you…

The Snow Queen lingered just outside reach and watched as her minion dutifully followed orders. Soon, the magic would engulf her completely, burning out every trace of fire within her – leaving a cold, frozen being behind. And then, Regina would be truly hers to claim.

Author's Note: Well, let's just say I'm not really a fan of Once any more. But there are these two characters I like. So since I couldn't sleep I thought "hey, didn't i start writing something a while back"... So again, don't hold your breath for new updates after this, but it may happen. And I love feedback. Of all types :) And don't worry, I won't change whatever plans I had because the show fucked up my plots. For as we all know, there was after all only two seasons of this show.