Sebastian please put me down

Your shirt is stained with blood

And grass and Reaper-spit and God

Knows what that is and mud.

I bought these trousers yesterday!

And now they've gotten torn

My shirt was perfect white at lunch

And look; it's grey and worn

I had a bath when I got up

And now I'll need two more

A boy would be inclined to think

You liked to scrub off gore!

Sebastian, just put me down!

I don't like it up here!

I like my feet to touch the ground

And, look, they're nowhere near!

You're sweating quite profusely

It's making me quite hot

If I had eaten tea tonight

I would've puked the lot

In fact, I could regardless...

I have no head for heights...

JUST PUT ME DOWN, SEBASTIAN

OR SO HELP ME, I MIGHT