Daylight, a farscape fanfic

Good evening, my loves! Here is a little John/Aeryn drabble for you, since I haven't posted anything in damn near forever. Please forgive me!

Setting: The night before Aeryn leaves Moya in Season 3's DWTB. Her last night with John, and she knows it. Songfic to Maroon 5's "Daylight."

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Well, I do, but they don't make an appearance in this story, since they're post-PKW. ;)

Enjoy! -CharmedPeacekeeper

Daylight

John's arms were wrapped tightly about Aeryn's waist, his gentle breathing ruffling her long dark hair ever so slightly. She was lying across his chest, listening to his heartbeat and feeling the rise and fall of his chest. They'd been lying like that all night, arms and legs entwined, just cuddling. Every now and then, there would be whispered conversation about this or that, but after too long they would lapse back into silence, every unspoken thing still between them, in the spaces where their bodies didn't touch.

She was delaying the inevitable. He was pretending he didn't know it was coming. Both of them knew better, but it didn't matter.

Here I am waiting, I'll have to leave soon
Why am I, holding on?
We knew this day would come, we knew it all along
How did it, come so fast?
This is our last night but it's late
And I'm trying not to sleep
Cause I know, when I wake, I will have to slip away

Aeryn tried to deny that she didn't know why she was holding on to tonight so tightly. Deep in her heart, she knew that it was because John was her best friend, her soul mate, the love of her life and the only man she would ever, had ever really wanted. He was the closest thing to perfection she had ever known. He was warm, kind, loving, loyal, and strong…

And he loved her unconditionally. No matter what she had done, John still loved her, still wanted her. He always had so far, and had showed and told her that he always would. She would be counting on that love when the morning came, and she knew it.

And when the daylight comes I'll have to go
But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close
Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own
But tonight I need to hold you so close
Oh-whoa, oh-whoa, oh-whoa

Oh-whoa, oh-whoa, oh-whoa

When the daylight came, she would pick up her bag and go to her Prowler that the DRDs were preparing even now. She knew that she would be relying on every ounce of her strength and determination to go through with what she was planning. It would take every iota of her being to be able to walk away from him, to not turn and run crying back into his arms, never to leave him again.

When the daylight came, they'd be apart, on their own. In the meantime, they had tonight.

Here I am staring at your perfection
In my arms, so beautiful
The sky is getting bright the stars are burning out
Somebody slow it down
This is way too hard, cause I know
When the sun comes up, I will leave
This is my last glance that will soon be memory

She lifted her head so she could meet his gaze. His beautiful blue eyes were so full of love. He smiled softly at her, kissing her forehead tenderly. He was at his most vulnerable around her. She could barely stand to imagine the hurt that would soon be in that gaze, and every moment that passed brought them closer to the moment that they were both dreading.

If there had been some way to slow time, she would have seized upon it the way she once seized upon her Peacekeeper orders and training. It was getting harder to face what was coming, and she didn't want the morning to come and rip her away from him. From his love, his embrace, his warmth and strength and courage.

But she didn't have a choice. Not really. She needed answers, and she could only get those answers away from him. She hated that fact, but… there was nothing she could do about it. Tonight was all she had with him, and she meant to cherish it. They had overcome a lot, and if she was right, they were about to have to overcome a hell of a lot more before they would be together again.

Hopefully he'd be willing to overcome it with her.

And when the daylight comes I'll have to go
But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close
Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own
But tonight I need to hold you so close
Oh-whoa, oh-whoa, oh-whoa
Oh-whoa, oh-whoa, oh-whoa

Aeryn tightened her hold on him, tried to nuzzle even closer to him. She wanted to eliminate all space between them. He kissed the crown of her head and tightened his grip on her, bringing one arm up across her back so he could twist his fingers in her hair. She felt him hold her as tightly as he could, crushing her to him, as if he could read her thoughts and didn't want to let her go anymore than she wanted to let go of him.

Then again, he didn't really need to read her thoughts to know her the way he did. She was more open with him than she had ever been with anyone, and he had always tried so hard to make her happy. And it wasn't like she was being guarded about what she wanted tonight. He may not have understood her reasons, but he understood what she needed and he was trying to give it to her, and that was more than Aeryn had ever had from anyone before.

I never want it to stop because I don't wanna start all over, start all over
I was afraid of the dark but now it's all that I want, all that I want, all that I want

Aeryn had never particularly cared for the dark. Now, though, as the arns were passing, and the daylight was bringing the very thing she wanted least, in this universe and in any other, the darkness was all she wanted.

She didn't want this to end, because she didn't want to start over yet again. She didn't want to abandon what she had with John; didn't want to have to start from scratch again. They had already had so many false starts… She didn't want this to be another one.

And when the daylight comes I'll have to go
But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close
Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own
But tonight I need to hold you so close

The lights started to brighten, signaling an end to the sleep cycle. Her time with him was over. She had to go now. She raised her head again and kissed him, her tears falling onto his cheeks as she steeled herself to break his heart.

She only hoped that he loved her enough to forgive her for what she was about to do.

-Fin-

Please review, my lovelies! It would mean a lot to me.

-CharmedPeacekeeper