Chapter 1

Sookie closed the door behind her slowly. Unable to hold herself up, she leaned against the door jam. She stared in front of her, willing the pain to go away, then she started to cry. The pain of what she had done was too much, too great. She had just cut away the only true love she had ever felt, and it killed her. Her mind flashed to a few moments before.

She sat on Bill's couch in his beautiful mansion, trying so much not to enjoy what was happening to her. Her two vampires were feeding on either wrist, healing from Marnie's attack. She looked at Eric to her right, the burns on his forehead fading away, but not quite gone yet. "Do you want us to stop?" He asked, gently pulling away from her. She shook her head.

"If you want us to stop..." Bill said softly next to her, as she looked over to him. She again shook her head. He made a slight growl and he continued to draw from her, and she gasped at the pain of it. She moaned a few moments later, "Okay... I think that's enough." Eric pulled away and looked at her intently, followed by Bill. They both pricked one of their fingers and used their blood to heal her wrists. Eric gulped slightly as he laid his hand on her wrist, his eyes slightly wide, almost like Amnesia Eric.

Sookie looked over to Bill, a smile playing on her lips. "You saved my life." He said proudly. Eric looked up, his eyes still wide. "Both our lives." His eyes flicked over to Eric. "It was my turn." She said laughing.

"Thank you," Eric said as she turned to look at him again. His eyes bore into her, searching. "You don't have to thank me," He blinked in surprise. "I can't imagine a world without you in it." His eyes brightened and a smile slowly broke his mask. "Both of you." She said, turning back to Bill. He too, smiled at her.

She pulled her hands away from both of them, trying not to see the hurt in Eric's eyes as she looked back and forth between them. "I can't stand this anymore." She said getting up swiftly. Leaving both vampires, sitting and staring, at her. "It's like getting ripped in half." Eric's eyes flicked to Bill. "No matter what I do, somebody I love, gets hurt." Bill looked over at Eric, unsure, as both their fangs clicked back in place. Leaving, suddenly, two very vulnerable men on the couch.

Bill stood up, "Sookie, I just want for you to be happy. And if being with Eric is what makes you happy... then you have my blessing." Sookie bristled slightly at the words. Bill. Always the martyr, always the war hero.

Eric looked over to Sookie. He was no fool. He knew what he had, and there was no way in hell he would let any man, be it vampire or otherwise, take her from him. He smiled, getting up. "See. It's okay, Sookie," He walked to her, his hand grazing across her jaw. "Bill's fine with it." Sookie looked down unsure. "Bill had his chance. He blew it." He looked at her, suddenly afraid. "He lied to you!"

"To protect me." Sookie shot back. "And I lied to him to protect you. And you have lied to both of us so many times we can't count." Eric drew away, silenced by her words. "What a mess." She finished. Eric dropped his hands to his side as she walked over to Bill.

"I forgive you." She said, taking his hands into hers. He smiled at her. "I know you've loved me every bit as much as I've loved you. And we have both hurt each other... Just as deeply." Her eyes filled up with tears. "I hope you can forgive me." Eric watched them, with those sad wide eyes.

"Sookie." Bill said putting his hand on her check. "Like I have a choice. You're the love of my life." Eric looked away, unable to bear what was coming. "I know." She said. "And that just makes this harder." Eric looked back suddenly, unsure he heard her right. Bill's face fell, hand still holding her gently. She broke away, turning to the now stunned Eric. "There's a goodness in you that breaks my heart, because a part of me has always wanted you." Eric smiled, "You won't be sorry." He said almost gleefully. "I already am." Sookie said, as Bill looked up. Eric looked at her confused. She rushed out the words, unable to tell him the truth. "The time we had was unforgettable, but it's over." She said walking away quickly so he couldn't see the lies in her eyes.

Eric tried to catch her to get her to look at him. "No... It ... It doesn't have to be..." She got to the other side of the room looking back at them both.

"There is only one way I see this ending." She said, her voice cracking. "And it's me walking away with neither of you." Her eyes stayed on Bill, hoping if she looked at him Eric would believe she meant it for both of them. "Don't do this." Eric pleaded. "Sookie," Bill said, taking a step towards her, shaking his head. "This is the hardest decision I have ever had to make." Sookie said her eyes never strayed away from Eric, as she cut Bill off. "But, I know it's the right one, for all of us. So please," She said begging Eric with her eyes again. Trying to get him to understand. "Don't try and stop me." She looked back and forth between them, before settling on Eric. "Either of you." And with that she turned tail and ran.

Still leaning against the door, her sobs were heavier as she understood the meaning of what she did. She couldn't tell Eric the truth. That she was terrified that he wouldn't be the same. That she was terrified he would be the old Eric, and that she would still love him. She was scared that she could love such a monster. With Bill, he hid all the evil things he did, all the bad he had done. But not Eric. He wasn't ashamed of what he was. He wasn't ashamed to kill if he felt it necessary. She was terrified that maybe, that would be okay for her. She couldn't bear the thought that she could be okay with such a monster. Even if it was love. Even if she did still love him, she would never admit it. She had used her 'love' for Bill as a scapegoat as a way to get away from Eric. And now she would hurt. And now maybe she would never love again, but it was worth it. It was worth not losing her humanity for him.