It was a confusing feeling-love. I had only felt it for my family, if I could even call them that. They weren't my own family, we weren't even related, but they were the only ones that I felt completely safe with. I didn't even have to try feeling this way with them. In my other foster homes, I had to believe that I loved them. I had to tell Jude that they loved us and we had to love them. It was the only way we could survive living and cleaning for them.

Jude had asked me why they sent us away. He had asked why they gave us away if they loved us. That was the first time I cried since my mother died because I knew that the more I tried to believe that the families loved us, the more it hurt when they sent us away.

My logic was dumb as a kid. Even I knew that. Telling my little brother and myself that the family loved us. The reason why I did that was because if they asked us to clean their house spotless, we could think it was just chores. If they asked us to buy them booze, it was just grocery shopping.

But with the Fosters, it felt natural. Every time Lena left me some leftovers to bring to school or when Steve offered to take Jude and I to go shopping with a willing Mariana who just can't stand my wardrobe, I feel happiness in my stomach. I don't have to pretend that they love me. Maybe they don't, maybe it's all an act, but in my heart I know at least they care for me.

Sometimes after school when Brandon has practice, Jesus will walk me home. He'll talk about the stupidest things and laugh at his own jokes. Once in a while, he'll talk about Lexi and on rare occasions, he'll talk about his birth mom and how he feels. He says that he wished Mariana would stop trying to get into contact with her and even told me that he wish he didn't take the blame for her all the time.

Brandon though, he's a little distant from me. I know he's trying to be nice, but I feel likes he's not always there. He'll just look anywhere but my eyes. I tried not thinking about Tayla telling him about Liam, but I know that's why he's avoiding me. It's not that I love Brandon. Sure, I think he's cute and all, but I don't want to disappoint Lena and Stef. I have too much at stake for me to ruin it.

Jude likes it here and so do I. I don't want to take this from him as well. I get that I'm not some saint or a nun. I understand I'm not perfect and I have my flaws, Liam being one of them, but I don't need someone constantly reminding me of them. Talya always eyes at me whenever she comes over, and that's a lot mind you, and gives me these knowing looks. Like she understands me and then degrades me.

I'm not going to say it doesn't hurt. It stings like a bitch, but I can't just let Talya ruin everything because she's jealous. Mariana has told me on one of our late heart-to-hearts that in the past Talya had bullied girls because they so much as glanced at Brandon the wrong way. This one time, she told me, Talya stayed over the entire time Brandon had over a female lab partner. Talya had made fun of her and had joked with Brandon about their sex life. She made the girl so uncomfortable, the next day she asked the teacher for a new partner.

Was I annoyed at this? Yea, sure I was. Talya had again proved my point of her being an insecure, prissy jerk. Insert other colorful words here.

The good news was that now I had a place to sit during lunch. I was so thankful when Mariana called me over to sit with her. At her table she had three girls, Lexi being one of them. The other girls were Kayla and Alexia. It was easy to tell they were nervous to sit next to me and kicked Mariana's foot underneath the table as to say "What the hell?"

And now that brings me to present day. I sat on the trunk of a rotten tree while waiting for Jesus. "Ugh, what's taking him so long?" I thought while biting into my apple Lena gave me. My new pair of jeans that Mariana gave me were still a little tight and were hard to move my legs in, so I couldn't quite get my legs in comfortable position.

"Callie?" a voice called behind me. I knew that voice anywhere. I turned around slowly silently praying that the redheaded Weasley wasn't there. I saw Brandon standing there with his bag slightly falling off of his shoulder and with his hand at his sides.

"Yea?" I asked after swallowing the last piece of my apple.

"What are you doing here?"

"Just waiting for Jesus. We walk together,"

"Oh," he said, confused, "But he already left,"

"What?" I asked surprised. Jesus said that he was going to walk with me because Brandon had practice and his friends were being "freaking annoying about the Lexi thing". "He left?"

"Yea, like thirty minutes ago," he said rubbing his head, "he looked like he was in a rush." After I was processing all the information, he asked, "Do you…uhhh… want to come with me? I was going to get some ice-cream for my moms. I don't have practice today."

"Uh, yea, yea, ok," I said, "lead the way."

He smiled slightly and started walking down the path to the nearest Vons. I grabbed my bag from the ground and shook the sand off of it. I ran after him and we got into a comfortable pace. It wasn't that it was awkward (who am I kidding, it was awkward as fu- "So, why do you walk with Jesus?" Brandon asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"I don't know," I shrugged, "He's cool." And he doesn't have a psycho girlfriend I thought bitterly. "Mariana's hogging Lexi. Guess I'm everyone's second choice,"

"Callie," Brandon sighed, "you know I'm not- no it's fine" I interrupted him.

"You don't need to explain," I said after a pause, "I get it. You know."

"Know what?" he asked.

"What Talya said. About me and …" I trailed off. This was the deep end for me and I didn't want to drown in it. Jude, I kept thinking, Stef, Lena. "Just forget about it."

"Callie," he said, "Stop." He grabbed my arm and I tried to ignore the sudden shock from it. I kept walking and tried taking my arm back but he tightened his grip. I felt that same stupid butterflies I felt when we danced together. I stop suddenly and faced him. "Why are you ignoring me?"

The surprise hit me like Talya's cheap perfume. It was like a backhand or something. "Ignore you? What are you talking about? You're the one thats been ignoring me, Brandon!" Frustration rolled onto me.

"I am not, Callie! I teach you how to play the cords on your guitar. I talk to you at home!"

I scoffed, "Yea, like two weeks ago. You act like I'm dirt. Well news flash! Sorry I'm not some redheaded bimbo!"

"Callie!" he yelled. It was the first time he yelled at me. I had only heard him from upstairs yelling at his moms or at Mariana for taking to long in the bathroom. This made me feel queasy.

"What Brandon? How do you think I'm supposed to act? You haven't even said more then three words to me other then 'Hi'. I thought we were supposed to be friends."

He flinched and I almost felt bad. "I thought we were friends," I added silently. I looked down, suddenly ashamed of myself. I knew Talya couldn't be blamed. She acted out normally. If my boyfriends started hanging out with a girl, I'd be jealous too. Reading my journal and telling Brandon was way out of line, hell it was to the moon, but all I wanted was a real friend.

I sighed. "Let's just get the ice-cream, ok? Here, Von's just down the street." I gently pried his fingers from my arm and started walking. I tried my best to avoid his sad, puppy-like eyes and keep my head calm. I listened for his footsteps but I couldn't hear them. I looked back to see him standing still and looking down.

"But we are friends," he whispered loud enough for me to hear.

"Well, you don't act like we are," I said softly, "I just want to go home. Can we make this fast?" He stared at me and then nodded slowly. We made it to the store and he grabbed a basket. We walked over to the freezer and grabbed a couple pints of everyone's favorite flavor and stood silently at the register.

To say that the walk home wasn't uncomfortable would be an understatement. It was freaking awkward. The tension was so thick you could cut it. I tried my best to start a conversation, but he would just answer with a 'it was fine'. I rolled my eyes at how the tables had turned.

We arrived home soon enough and I jetted for my room with Mariana. She was sitting there with Lexi on her bed and gossiping about boys. "Oh, hey Callie," Mariana and Lexi both said.

"Why do you look like you're about to murder the president?" Lexi joked. The good thing about being friends with Mariana was that I made other ones too. It was a blessing that Mariana and Lexi made up though. One week of horrible apologies and stalker tendencies made Mariana forgive Lexi.

I sighed loudly, "Fight with Brandon."

"What?" Mariana yelled, "about what?"

"The ignoring thing,"

"Oh, damn that sucks," she said, "how'd it start?"

"It happened when you dumbass brother ditched me at school,"

She chuckled and then looked at Lexi, "Sorry, that might have been her fault. She wanted Jesus to come here so they could talk."

I groaned, "Ugh." I then grabbed a pillow and started a pillow fight with myself. Lexi apologized and I knew I couldn't stay mad at her. She just got him back after "trying" to end it for Mariana, so she was doing her best to rebuild things slowly. "Anyway, we have ice-cream downstairs."

"Thank you Jesus!" Mariana yelled.

"Your welcome?" a voice called out.

"It's the voice of God! Oh my God!" she laughed at her own lame joke. That happened to run in the family I guessed.

"You!" I yelled at Jesus, "Thanks to you-,"

"Yea, I know. Sorry about that but this sexy lady wanted me! " he smirked. Mariana threw a pillow at him with a loud "ew" and "get a room" with the "no sex talk here".

"Let's just go downstairs and have some ice-cream," Lexi suggested. I contemplated on going with them but I said I had to use the restroom. Jesus rolled his eyes at me but nodded anyway. After washing my face and telling myself that I was a beautiful person on the inside, I went downstairs. Everyone was on the couch eating, so I took my cup of Mint n' Chip and went outside.

I sat down on the porch and sighed mentally. Taking my spoon I started eating my ice cream and thinking how things got so complicated. At least Talya isn't over I thought happily. I was just about to feel peaceful when I heard the door slid open and close. I prayed that it wasn't Brandon. I heard him sit down and put his own cup on the side. I glanced over and decided that I was going to beat Jesus the next time I see him.