Disclaimer: I own nothing. I do not own That '70s Show or any of its characters. I do not only any of characters, products, or songs mentioned in any of these stories. Nor do I own the song that the inspired the collection's title. I own nothing!

Author's Note: Hello everyone! How are you all? Hope you're doing well! Today I have for you the first installment in my newest collection of oneshots inspired by the season of Summer. Now this collection will be just like my other ones, different pairings both romantic and nonromantic, shorter stories, and hopefully frequent updates. These stories will have a theme which of course is summer. I have a few planned out already but if you have any ideas please feel free to share! The title of this collection was inspired by one of my favorite summer songs by one of my favorite artists an the king of summer; Summertime by Kenny Chesney. I really do hope you all enjoy this collection and especially this first installment. This first oneshot is one that stars Fez and Red and of course it's a family tale. I would love to hear your thoughts so if you have the time to review, short or long, please do! Thanks for stopping by to read, I do hope you like it, please review if you can, and as always, Enjoy!

Baseball, it's one of America's great pastimes and Red Forman, being the proud American he was, considered it one of his favorite sports as well. When he was a kid he played a form of the game with the other kids in the neighborhood, listening to the games on the radio had been one of the few things he and his father had fondly bonded over, even when his own son played the game he'd gotten a few happy memories from that experience—of course among the good memories were some not so good ones like the time Eric stood out in the outfield, obviously day dreaming as the ball flew right past him.

Yes, Red had always enjoyed the game. Until today.

Today should have been a great day to watch a baseball game. The sun was shining but there was still a nice breeze blowing, the stadium was filled with mostly dumbasses but he had seats good enough to forget about that; he'd even got a free pass from Kitty allowing him to indulge in greasy ballpark snacks. He should have known there was a catch to his wife's free pass. And that catch was currently sitting next to him looking like a small, overly excited, child as he dressed in his team cap and matching shirt, had a balloon tied to his wrist, and shared a seat with a large stuffed bear (that wore the same cap and shirt) while swaying from side to side as he sang out loud and off key a familiar song. Familiar because it had been sung over thirty times today.

"Take me out to the ball game, take me out to the crowd! Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack! I don't care if I never get back!" the tune was song with a heavy accent, "Let me root, root, root for the home team, if they don't win it's a shame! For it's one! Two! Three strikes you're out at…"

Finally Red had had enough and turned to look at the foreigner, "Finish that song one more time and you'll be playing the old my foot in your ass game."

"Aye, I do not like that game." Fez commented with a frightened expression on his face, "I never win."

Red smirked at the way the young man suddenly became quite; he thought he might finally be able to enjoy the game in peace. He was wrong.

"Ah my first American baseball game. Now I finally feel like a true American." Fez shared happily, completely missing the aggravated look coming from Red and instead clearing his throat to make his best American accent, "Damn foreigners! Bring me more bacon!"

Not liking the way Fez was portraying Americans Red slowly turned his head and glared in the younger man's direction but all Fez did was smile back. Red was not in the mood to deal with this and so he returned his attention to the game in front of him, hunching his back over a bit so that his elbows rested close to his knees. Fez watched Red's actions very carefully before he adjusted himself into a very similar position.

"So who do we want to win?" Fez asked excitedly.

"The…"Red drifted off a bit and his scowl deepened when he saw that the foreign kid was mirroring the way he was sitting, "The Brewers. You know the team name that's printed on your cap."

Fez followed Red's finger into looking up at the cap he wore, "Oh is that what that says? I picked this one out because the color of it brings out my eyes."

He then straightened his back up and adjusted his cap before blinking his eyes a few times, hoping it would grab Red's attention and Red could see what he meant about how the blue of the cap went so well with his brown eyes. However, Red wasn't at all interested in Fez's eyes or his baseball cap; he just kept watching the game and Fez soon realized he should probably be doing the same.

This time around Fez didn't copy the way Red was sitting but he did try to imitate the way the older man was so engrossed in the sport. It was a difficult thing for Fez to do though, this was his first baseball game and he didn't understand how the game worked exactly. He tried…really he did, but only seemed to get more and more confused the longer he watched the players throw the ball to each other as they warmed up and got ready. When he saw one of the players stepped up to the home plate with a helmet on his head and a bat in his hand, Fez could no longer hold in his questions.

"Why does he have a stick? Is there a fight? Is he going to hit someone?" he asked question after question, not waiting for an answer until the end.

Red never moved his head as he gave a brief response, "He uses it to hit the ball."

"A stick?" a puzzled Fed asked, "I thought this was baseball!"

"The bases are on the ground. The players run to them after there's been a hit."

"So he does not use a base to hit the ball?" He asked and since Red didn't respond to the question he took that to mean a 'no' and that made Fez more confused and a bit angry, "Then why is it called baseball? Why not stickball?"

From underneath his own Milwaukee Brewers cap a deep frown indented on Red's forehead as he looked over at Fez, "Because it's not a damn stick, it's a bat."

"Oh." He said and then paused for just a moment or two, "Then why not batball?"

Hearing this new question caused Red to look up skywards before closing his eyes and bowing his head back down as he brought his hand up to his forehead and began to rub it in effort to soothe the headache that was beginning to form. With all these damned questions he was never going to be able to enjoy the game. Unless…

Red sat back up and cleared his throat before pointing his index finger at Fez, "Alright, listen Alibaba because I'm only explaining this once, understood?"

Fez nervously nodded his head 'yes.' He really wasn't sure if this was the way he was supposed to answer Red's question or not, he just took a guess. And his guess appeared to be correct when Red's frown—though it didn't disappear—didn't deepen.

"Now the rules of baseball are simple. So simple that even someone like you could understand them." The older man began to say.

The insult went right over Fez's head and he appeared to think of the words as more of a compliment when he let a large grin break out onto his face. Red said nothing and just continued to explain the basic rules of the game to the foreigner.

"There are two teams, the team on the outfield and the batting team." He explained pointing to each before moving his finger to point out a player standing on the mound in the middle of the field, "That guy's the pitcher, he throws the ball at the batter…that guy over there. Then when the batter hits the ball he runs to the right and over to first base or if he hits it far enough he can get a homerun and run all three bases. The goal of the game is to run all three bases and get back home."

A look of confusion crossed Fez's face, "But what if they do not all live together? What if some live farther than others? That is not fair."

"Home base." Red replied sounding annoyed at the fact that the kid didn't know this already, "The base right there where the batter's at. It's both the starting and ending point."

Slight frown still in place, Fez nodded as he tried to keep up with the knowledge Red was trying to share with him.

"The batter gets three tries to hit the ball. He misses all three means he's got three strikes and he's out…"

Fez was quick to notice how similar those words were to the lyrics in his new favorite song and he couldn't resist, "At the old…"

"Don't." Red firmly cut in with an angry scowl that caused Fez to seal his lips so that Red could go on, "When a team gets three outs they switch places and the team batting goes to the outfield and the outfielders get a chance to bat and the game starts over. Got it?"

"Yes, yes, I got it." Fez answered while nodding his head happily until suddenly his smile dropped and he frowned, "This sounds boring. I'm hungry."

Red looked at the younger with a murderous look in his eyes. He didn't know what he was more upset about the fact that the dumbass had called one of America's greatest past times boring or that he'd been a dumbass and actually taken the time to go over the basic rules of the game when he could have just sent Tarzan off to find some Cracker Jacks and been able to enjoy the baseball game in peace.

Missing the angry glare being sent his way, Fez craned his neck to look around the crowd, "Eric said the best part of baseball games is the food. He said there are peanuts, hot dogs, beer, ice cream…Oo what if there is beer flavored ice cream?" he asked excitedly.

"Why don't you go look for it?" Red suggested, his expression and tone making it obvious that he was still upset.

"Okay." Fez was quick to agree; however he remained in his seat and Red couldn't help but notice this.

"I thought you were leaving."

"I am." He nodded, "But I am waiting for you to give me snack money."

Now Red was really upset. "Like hell I'm giving you snack money."

Red's anger not only made Fez upset but also a little hurt, "Then you are a cheapskate date."

"This isn't a damn date." Red said through gritted teeth.

"It certainly is not now!" Fez declared as he shot out of his seat.

By now several spectators had lost interest in the ball game and were now watching the two men instead. Fez didn't seem to mind the audience and Red just wanted to watch the game. Knowing it would be the only way to finally get rid of Tattoo, at least for a good few minutes, Red took out his wallet and handed the younger man a ten dollar bill.

A smile instantly sprung to Fez's lips, "Thank you!"

And then he was gone. Following Fez's exit, Red went back to the watching The Brewers have their turn to bat; most of the audience members did the same except for one middle aged man who sat behind Red, still starring at him with wide eyes.

Feeling someone's gaze on him, Red turned around to face the man, "Hey buddy," he called in anything but friendly tone, "stick your eyes back in your head before I stick my foot in your ass."

The stranger immediately followed Red's order and pulled his eyes back into his head before moving them to watch the game. Satisfied with the response he got, Red turned himself back towards the game, wanting to enjoy as much as he could before the foreigner came back with his beer flavored ice cream.

0o0o0o

"Excuse me…Coming through…Oo nice hat!"

As soon as Red heard these words being said in a voice that seemed to be getting closer to him, he knew is enjoyment of the game was about to be brought to an end.

"I'm back!" Fez happily announced as he and his many snacks took a seat beside Red.

The older man didn't even look his way as he grumbled, "Terrific."

"Oh I missed you too, Mr. Red." Fez replied with a grin.

Red turned his head to frown at the foreigner and that same frown deepened when he saw the large tray on Fez's lap and the way it was overflowing with snacks. There was popcorn, peanuts, drinks, hot dogs, pretzels...there was no way he'd bought that with just the money Red had given him, he'd had his own cash on him too! And if that weren't enough, Red began grimaced at the reminder that he would later have to drive home with this guy after the game finished and he'd eaten all of this junk—definitely not something he was looking forward to.

"What the hell did you do, buy the whole convenience bar?" he questioned, scowl still in place.

"No, no. They told me I did not have enough money." a sad Fez explained, "And I did not find any beer flavored ice cream." He added as his tone remained somber until he remembered something he had been able to buy, "But I did find this!"

Lifting up one of the cups from the tray Fez held it out in front of Red. Instantly Red recognized what liquid the cup was filled with and for a split second Fez could have sworn he saw the corners of Red's lips twitch upwards; however only seconds later they were pushed back down as he stared at both the cup and then the young man suspiciously.

"You didn't…do anything foreign to this beer did you?" Red asked untrustingly.

Fez swung his head from the left to the right, "Nope."

For several moments Red eyed Fez and the drink that was being offered to him. At last he decided on two things. One, that he might just be able to trust Chico and two, on a hot day like this he was willing to take any risk if it allowed him a few sips of a nice cold beer.

His large hand grabbed the plastic cup from Fez and he gave a small nod, "Thanks, kid."

Kid. Fez's eyes nearly welled up with tears at hearing Red call him this. He didn't call him by a foreign TV character or make up any weird sounding name like Ali Baba and Squanto (who were those people?) He had called him 'Kid.' Red saw him as one of his kids! And he was so close to remembering his name. After all, 'kid' was spelled with three letters just like 'Fez.' This was the happiest day of Fez's life! But he didn't want to ruin it so he held in his tears and emotions, knowing Red would not appreciate seeing them.

The young man gave a mere nod and Red went on take a sip from his beer, seeing this Fez turned his attention back to the many snacks on his lap.

"Now which snack should Fez start with first?" he asked himself while looking over the various treats, taking quite a few minutes before deciding, "I think I will start with the hot digity dog!"

After happily unwrapping his ballpark frank from the white paper it was surrounded in, Fez then raised the food up to his open and waiting mouth. Just before he was able to take his first bite, a faint but very annoying buzzing noise was heard flying around his right ear.

"Aye no Mr. Bee this is my five dollar hotdog." Fez scolded the insect while trying to wave it off with his free hand, "Got get your own. Shoo shoo!"

Fez continued to try to push the bee away from him by waving his hand in the air but when that didn't work he tried a different method of taking his baseball cap off his head and waving it in the bug's direction. He was too busy trying to get the bee away from him and his hotdog that Fez never noticed the way that Red, and the others sitting around them, were no longer watching the game but had their eyes looking up at the sky as a homerun ball came flying their way. Fez didn't hear the cheers or see the people with their raised gloves trying to catch the ball. He hadn't even noticed the incoming baseball at all until his baseball cap suddenly felt a bit heavier.

Confused by the added weight, Fez looked inside his cap and found the homerun ball. Slowly he took the ball in his hand and pulled it out, never catching the astonished look on Red's face. He just continued to examine this very important playing piece to this game; after all without the ball it would just be called a base game and that did not sound like much fun. It was with this thought in his mind that Fez realized what he had to do.

While holding the ball in one hand, he used his free hand to place his cap back on his head before rising up on his feet. With the baseball in his right hand, Fez lifted his right arm up and began to wind-up his arm—just like he saw them do in the cartoons—then released the ball and watched it fly over the large crowd and back into the baseball field.

"Sorry!" he shouted with an open palm at the side of his face.

Despite the hollering coming from the audience, Fez felt very proud of himself as he sat back in his seat. Meanwhile, Red had been sitting in shock from the moment he saw the ball land into the baseball cap and his shock only got worse when he watched Fez through the homerun ball back into the game! And his pitch had actually made it all the way to the field. Red was at a loss for words.

"You're just full of surprises, aren't you?" Red asked when he finally found his voice again.

With his cheeks filled with hotdog Fez simply grinned on happily.

Author's Note: So what did you think? A hit or a strike out? Lemme know in a review!

So what about you all? Do you go to a lot of baseball games in the summer? We do over here but I'm like Fez and think one of the best parts is the food!

Until next time, thanks for reading, hope you liked, please review and lemme know what you think, stay tuned, take care, and have a nice day!