Huge apologies to anyone who has been following this story here. I've decided that I'm not going to be publishing on FFn anymore. This is largely because a) the interface is less user friendly, b) the community around this fandom isn't all that active here and c) I tend to write things that violate the use policies so I have to cut out chunks of my writing. This makes me hurt on the inside. I was debating even posting the rest of this. There's a big chunk of this chapter near the end that I had to cut out...but I would hate to leave anyone hanging! All of my stuff is (and will continue to be) posted in its intended and unedited format on Tumblr and AO3 where you can find me as Imogen_Penn.

Chapter Eight

"You ready for this?" Clint was standing in the doorway of the medical suite at SHIELD, still in uniform.

She pulled the edges of the blanket that one of the SHIELD physicians had kindly wrapped around her a bit closer.

"As I'll ever be, I suppose," she said lamely.

Clint looked over to the med techs, "Is she cleared?"

"She's good to go Agent Barton," the woman looking at the computer read outs said, "nothing but a few bruises and a minor shoulder strain. And that's from the Captain's shield being way too heavy for anyone else to sling around," she looked back at Darcy with a grin, "even someone as tough as you."

Darcy smiled weakly. She'd been getting a lot of rather surprised and impressed comments from the SHIELD agents. All she could think was that they must have a very low opinion of the real world capabilities of their science staff. I mean, they weren't generally wrong, but still…

Also, she really wasn't looking forward to sitting through the entire debrief with Steve. The thought of being near him was making her feel nauseous. She supposed that wasn't exactly a flattering idea, but the memory of his kiss was still really fresh and it was warring it out with the memory of a folded flag being placed in her mother's hands, being passed to Karen. It didn't exactly make for a settled stomach.

"Come on super kid," Clint said encouragingly, hoisting her bodily upwards with an arm around her waist, "now you get to see exactly how much paperwork being a super hero involves."

"You know," said Darcy sourly, "I never actually said I wanted to learn anything about that. In fact, I distinctly recall that I only asked to observe how you guys get in and out of those Kevlar suits."

Clint laughed, "Who knows." He said giving her a gentle squeeze, "maybe the debriefing room will be really hot and layers will have to come off."

It should have been funny, but her brain immediately jumped to the image of Steve peeling off his uniform, which was way too appealing to deal with right now. She had never had this problem before.

Of course, before, Steve hadn't kissed her with a passion that she felt straight down to her toes, but still. God damn him for being actual real life Captain America instead of just her Steve.

Well, she supposed with a stomach dropping lurch as she walked into the already full meeting room, he wasn't really her Steve anymore, was he? He was sitting as far away from the last empty chairs as he could, looking resolutely out the window when she walked in.

She got it, she did. She had just finished telling him that she couldn't give him what he wanted from her, so she could understand why he wasn't exactly thrilled to be in the same room. But it still hurt. It hurt in a way that didn't feel right at all.

The room got very quiet when Agent Coulson walked in. She couldn't forget that he was the dude who stole her iPod, but everyone else had a staggering level of respect for the man, and he did, apparently, survive getting stabbed in the chest by Loki, so she listened to him quietly when he spoke.

"I would like," he said coolly, "for someone to explain to me the exact chain of events that led to one of our science associates saving the collective asses of the earth's mightiest heroes?"

He didn't sound disappointed, or even look it, but it just radiated off him in waves, and even Natasha slumped in her seat by a few millimetres.

"To be fair," Tony interjected gamely, "there were a lot of robots."

Agent Coulson did not look impressed.

"It was my call, Sir," said Steve stiffly from across the table. "Stark had come up with the plan, but couldn't execute. He had about a minute before he was going to go from trapped to dead. Natasha had her hands full where she was, Hawkeye was 45 stories away, and I had a group of civilians and a line-up of 20 plus of the things to deal with. I would have had to leave the civilians to get the job done. I know Ms. Lewis's capabilities; I knew she could do it. I had an option that didn't involve leaving civilians to die, so I took it."

He was still looking resolutely away from her.

"Interesting," Agent Coulson did sound a bit disappointed now, "because from my perspective you just traded one civilian life for others."

"Sir," Steve started to grind out through a clenched jaw, but this was one fight Darcy could handle on her own.

"Hey," she interjected in a brittle tone, "I'm not exactly just a civilian and you know that perfectly goddam well Agent iPod jacker. I've had the basic SHIELD training just like every other science flunky. So that right there makes me a better option than those scared kids I was with. Plus, Steve didn't send me out; I told him I was going. He didn't like the idea any more than you did, probably less really. But he knows me a hell of a lot better than the rest of you and he knows that I am a perfectly goddam capable adult so we got the job done. Now will you back up off their asses for five seconds and thank them for saving the city? Jesus!"

Agent Coulson looked nonplussed, which Darcy counted as a huge victory. It felt really good to vent her emotions for a minute. Because seriously, did these people have to come back to this sort of second guessing every time they saved the world? She risked a glance at Steve. He looked like he was trying to hide a smile. But he still wasn't looking at her. Same old pain fest then.

Finally, Coulson spoke. "That's a fair assessment Lewis," he said calmly, "Captain," he turned to Steve, "You clearly had a better handle on Miss Lewis's abilities than I did. It was a good call." He cleared his throat briefly, "and I'm sure you all know that SHIELD is very grateful for your continued commitment to the safety of the city."

There was a silence and then Clint, the little shit, gave his biggest shit eating grin, "SHIELD is more than welcome," he said in a gleefully superior tone, "you may proceed with the debrief Coulson." The corner of Natasha's mouth twitched and Tony actually let out a loud guffaw, but Steve was just looking at the table. Coulson raised an eyebrow, but moved forward.

"Miss Lewis, I've heard from the others, but if you wouldn't mind running through the events from your perspective, that would be most helpful."

"Oh, right." She said hesitantly. She hadn't exactly been looking forward to this part. "So, I was out sort of just walking around the city," she started, she didn't think that they really needed to know that she had been walking as far and as fast as she could to try and outpace the miserable feelings that were creeping up on her every time she thought of Steve's face that night when he came to her door, or exactly why she had been dreaming about running after him down the hall.

"And it all happened pretty quickly. Those robot things just started pouring up from the closest subway entrance and they set off a bunch of explosives. I was pretty close I guess, because I got tossed to the ground, and when the dust cleared, the pavement was all torn up and there were flipped cars everywhere and I couldn't see a way to get off the street that didn't involve getting through those weirdo machines." She was trying to keep her voice steady, but the memory of that blind panic when she realised there was no way out was kind of sticking to her.

"There were a few others caught out the same way I was, maybe 10 or so, so I started yelling at them to get behind this car I was pretty close to, because, you know, find cover is rule number one, right? And we were doing okay for a bit. There was this kid, Roger Marks; seriously, you guys should look him up when he gets out of school. He had just come from a baseball game. We saw you," she gestured to Clint, "take a couple out through the eye thingy, so Roger is all cool as a cucumber and is like 'I've got my bat, I bet I can take out a few of them' and so I started tossing stuff up for him. I think he actually got a few."

"He did," interjected Steve quietly, "I saw it." He was looking at her now, but the way he was looking…well, it wasn't exactly better.

"Right," she went on shakily, "That's when St…uh, the Captain showed up." It was going to be easier to get through this if she focused on the uniform and not the man inside it.

"I was pretty close, so I heard him talking to Mr. Stark over the earpiece thing, and I could see the power box he was talking about. Probably only 300 meters or so away. It wasn't like I was jumping at the chance to run out there with those things, but I heard Mr. Stark and Natasha say they couldn't get there and I figured Barton was not exactly going to be close by, and the Captain all of a sudden had, like, a million of those things to deal with and a bunch of civilians, so I said I'd do it."

Talking about it, it did sound kind of nuts. At the time, there had simply been no other options but now, Christ what had she been thinking? She could see a very similar type of expression painted across Steve's face, like he was reliving the moment, except he had been scared the first time too, and then he had…she ducked her head and willed herself not to blush.

Natasha Romanov was watching her with a very frightening level of intensity. She was pretty sure that she wasn't hiding a damn thing from the black Widow, but not everyone needed to know about that toe melting but ultimately ill-fated kiss.

Coulson nodded, "Right," he said, "So you just ran for it?"

"Are you kidding?" Darcy squeaked, "No way! There was like a billion robots between me and the power box. The Captain took me around the end of the line, safe as houses, and then I ran for it."

"And you managed to avoid taking any fire the whole way?" Coulson asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Well, not exactly, the Captain lent me his shield."

There was a short but loaded silence.

"Really?" The tone was pretty neutral, but Coulson's left eyebrow looked like it was going to crawl right up into his hairline and he was looking at Steve in what could almost be called surprise.

"Yeah," she said, trying to be casually dismissive, but now that she thought about it, how many people could say they had wielded Captain America's shield in battle? It was probably a really small group. Steve was looking distinctly uncomfortable.

"It was heavy," she added almost as an afterthought.

Coulson refocused on her, "so you got past the line of hostiles," he prompted.

"Right," she got back on track, "When I made it," she went on, "I just sort of hacked at the lock with the shield," both Steve and Coulson winced at that, "until it popped open, and then when I threw the switch everything just…stopped."

"I found her shortly after that," said Steve briskly, "made sure she was okay, and then Natasha joined us and we headed in to HQ." He glossed neatly over their incredibly awkward and heartbreaking conversation.

"That's everything that happened?" Coulson asked her

"That's everything that happened" she agreed firmly.

"Alright, then I think you have all earned some time off."

There was an awkward moment when she and Steve both got to the door at the same time. He stood back to let her go ahead and she thought she saw Clint and Natasha have some sort of intense eyebrow conversations.

Her suspicion was confirmed when Natasha guided Steve firmly down the hallway in one direction, while Clint slung an arm around her and tugged her in the other.

"Let me buy you a drink, kid" he said cheerfully.

"I don't really feel like drinking," she said firmly. Getting drunk and maudlin about Steve in front of Hawkeye just seemed like a bad idea.

"Well then tell me what the hell you did to make Captain America look at you like you kicked his puppy."

Darcy sighed, "That's what Natasha was telling you to do with the eyebrow dance, wasn't it?"

"Yup," Clint agreed easily. "You're far more likely to give us the info than Steve is."

"I don't suppose you could just go back to Natasha and say I wouldn't talk, could you?"

"Fraid not kiddo," he said, "because whatever it is, it is really messing with our team leader, and we need to get it fixed."

"I never meant for Steve to get hurt," she said finally in a small voice. "I just can't be Captain America's girlfriend."

"Oh Darce," Clint stopped walking, "you didn't tell him that, did you?"

"I did, yeah," she was looking straight at her feet, unwilling to look up at him.

Clint blew out a breath, "so basically you told Steve Rogers, the guy who's the hardest on himself probably in the universe that basically the most awesome world saving things about him are why you won't date him?"

Darcy nodded. It sounded kind of awful when he put it like that, but it was still true.

"Jesus Darce, that's pretty harsh."

"Any harsher that pretending I could deal with it and then cutting and running after letting him get attached?"

Clint paused. "Well you do have a point there, Lewis. I just don't see what's so wrong with being Captain America's girlfriend. Isn't that, like, the American dream?"

"It's not even really the girlfriend part," she said, avoiding his eyes, "it's that being his girlfriend leads pretty directly to being his widow."

Clint opened his mouth to protest, but Darcy held up her hand "I know he's not exactly as breakable as other people, but do you honestly think that Steve, or any of you, are going to die at home in your beds rather than out in the field?"

Clint shut his mouth abruptly. After a moment, he spoke again.

"We're not going to push you Darce, we never would. But just, don't give up on him just yet. Even if you're right, isn't it possible that some good things are worth the bad shit that comes with 'em?"

She didn't answer, but Clint waited with her quietly anyway as he hailed a cab for her and pushed her in with a sympathetic smile, telling her to get some rest.

She did try, but her shoulder was sore and adrenaline was still zinging through her bloodstream, and the look on Steve's face from behind his cowl when she had said his name and the way he had kissed her were twisting her stomach into knots.

She picked up her phone and dialed a number that she had been avoiding for far too long.

"Hello?" the bright feminine voice picked up on the second ring and Darcy couldn't tell whether she was relieved or disappointed.

"Hi Karen," she said in a bit of a strangled tone.

"Darcy? Is that you?" Karen's voice had immediately clicked into her worried tone, "Is everything okay."

"No," she gulped out through a half sob, "Everything is terrible."

When Jim had first started dating Karen, Darcy had been polite to her, like she had been to all of his dates. When he had started getting really serious about her, Darcy had been downright cold to the woman who she thought was going to ruin her relationship with her brother. When she had finally gotten over herself and really got to know Karen, she had gained a sister. Nothing could change that. Not losing Jim, and not avoiding talking to the one person who could really understand what she was going through for far too long.

"Oh Darce," Karen said kindly, "You want to talk about it? Is this about Steve?"

Darcy had to let out a damp chuckle, "been talking to the Major?"

"He would not shut up about that guy when he got home." Karen paused for a moment, "but he also said that Steve was probably involved in something kind of big, and you were keeping your distance."

Darcy sighed. "I should really stop being surprised at how much Dad knows."

"He apparently called up some friend at Langley and asked about the guy. He said he'd never been stonewalled so fast by people so important in his life. Sounds kind of…intense Darce."

"Yeah," she agreed morosely, "you could say that again." She wished that she could tell Karen the whole story, but it really wasn't hers to tell. "I can't really talk about that part of it, but he's…well, it's not exactly safe, what he does."

"Oh," said Karen slowly, "so that's why you've been avoiding me?"

"I'm sorry Karen; I didn't mean to…I just can't stop thinking about him, about what you went through, what we all went through. Steve is…god, he's incredible," it felt good to say that out loud to someone, "but I can't do it. I couldn't…" she wasn't really sure who she was trying to convince at this point, Karen or herself.

"Darce," Karen interrupted her, her own voice sounding a bit shaky, "When we got the news about Jim, I… I thought I would die right along with him. It was awful. It still is awful, every time I think about it."

"That's not exactly comforting Karen," Darcy sniffed.

"Let me finish," Karen said, and Darcy could almost see her patient smile, "But even though it hurts, and it's hard to move on, I wouldn't trade a single second of it. I count it as a fair trade for getting to spend a few years with him."

"Really?" Darcy found it hard to believe, but she could hear the conviction in Karen's voice.

"Really," she repeated reassuringly. "This Steve guy, you love him?"

She paused for a moment, "Yeah," she said finally with a surprised little laugh, "Yeah I think I do." And despite the seriousness of the conversation, she felt a little thrill of giddiness burbling up in her at the thought.

"But Jim has made you afraid to lose him?"

"Yeah," she sighed.

"Well firstly, Jim would smack you upside the head for letting his memory stop you from going after a man you're in love with and who is, by all accounts, so amazing that even the Major wants you to go for it."

Darcy had to grin at Karen's no nonsense tone, because she was 100% right about that.

"And secondly, haven't you pretty much already lost him without getting to experience any of the good stuff?"

It was said kindly and it was kindly meant, but it hit her right in the gut, with much more force than when Clint had said essentially the same thing. Probably because coming from Karen, it wasn't just an empty platitude. She had loved Jim, and lost him, and was honestly telling her that it really was worth it.

And the loss of Steve had been sitting on her, pressing her downwards and making her miserable already for weeks. If she was going to have to feel the bad stuff, shouldn't she get some of the good stuff too?

She thought again about the way he had pulled her against him, smelling of gunpowder and grime, his kiss sure and confident and earth shaking in its passion.

There was some damn good stuff to be had from Steve Rogers.

"I really should have called you sooner," Darcy laughed, still blinking back tears, but with a slow smile building on her face now.

"I don't know," Karen replied, considering, "you probably knew exactly what I was going to tell you. Why did you call me now?"

Darcy let out a long breath. "Guess I was waiting until I was ready to hear it."

"And you feel like you're ready to make the leap for this guy?"

"Yeah," she let out with an incredulous lightness that she could feel down to her toes. "Yeah, I really think I am."

"Good," Karen's voice was firm. "Also, I want a full recap of exactly what happens when you get your nerve up and go tell this Steven fellow that you've come to your senses."

Darcy laughed, "I'll even let you know before I call the Major, so you can lord it over him the next time you're over there for dinner."

"See, I knew there was a reason I liked you best," Karen said, "now stop wasting time and go get your man." There was a little bit of melancholy to her tone, but Darcy could hear the genuine happiness now as well, and she wondered how she had missed that for so long. "I can't wait to meet him."

Steve was drinking. He knew perfectly well that it wasn't going to do anything, but the harsh burn of the whisky seemed appropriate to his mood as he sat at his kitchen table and gave in to just letting himself fell miserable for a little while.

He couldn't regret kissing her, not even though it made him crave a million more, not even though he would never have another. There had been a chilling finality to leaving the briefing room, knowing that she knew who he was, what he did, and that she wanted to be very far away from it.

He had entertained a secret hope, still, that somehow finding out who he really was would help. That maybe the whole laminated list thing would have an effect, or that she would feel better knowing that he wasn't as breakable as everyone else. The way she had jumped into the fray today had made his breath come short and his heart leap up into his throat, but he had hoped she would see that if he could keep her safe, if she could be a part of what he did for a moment, maybe she would see that he could do this. This was what he was built to do. He could protect her, she could protect herself.

But even as she was pressed up warm again his side, the hitch in her breath and the finality of her tone when she said "I can't" killed every last one of his lingering dreams and it was all he could do to make it through that briefing without screaming about the injustice of it all or just getting the hell out of there.

Natasha had tried to talk to him after, but he had brushed her aside and headed home as fast as he could. He probably owed her an apology, but right now all he wanted to do was sit and let himself be sad.

Of course, the universe wasn't done ignoring what he wanted today. There was a knock at the door. He wanted to yell at whoever it was to go away, he wanted to pretend he wasn't there. But some things were just too far ingrained, so he walked to the door and opened it roughly.

He froze, hand on the doorknob and mouth open.

"Hi," Darcy's voice was small and she still looked a bit disheveled, like she hadn't done much more than throw on a change of clothes since she got home. There was a streak of soot across her left temple. She looked gut wrenchingly beautiful to him.

"What…" he couldn't finish the sentence. And he supposed he must have looked pretty stunned.

She bit her lip, her eyes downcast, refusing to look up at him, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to…I just…I have some things I need to say to you, if that's okay?"

He tried to keep his face calm as he was warring within himself. Because the last thing he wanted was for her to carefully and kindly explain to him more about how he could never have what he wanted. But it was Darcy and he might never have a moment alone with her again.

He let out a heavy sigh.

"Do you want to come in?" It was tentative and not exactly welcoming, but she nodded anyways and slipped through the door.

He stood where he was, arms crossed, looking at her expectantly as she nervously perched on the back of his sofa, picking at the fabric and avoiding his gaze.

"Today was scary," she said finally.

"Yeah," Steve agreed brusquely, because he could still feel the terror of looking down at Darcy and knowing that sending her out into the field was his only option. He could sort of understand, if grudgingly, why she didn't want that to be her life.

"It made me think about some things." She went on.

Steve could feel himself freeze up, muscles locked. "What things?" he asked tentatively, refusing to allow himself to hope any more.

"Jim," she said simply. "I talked to Karen, his fiancée."

"Oh," he said finally when her pause had dragged out for an uncomfortably long time.

"It made me think about how I missed him, but also…" she paused and drew a breath. He could see her knuckles turning white where she gripped the back of the sofa. "It hurts that he's gone, but I wouldn't have traded it. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else for a brother, anyone less brave," she sounded like she was on a roll now, "And it made me start thinking about you, you know, and how I did try to trade it, tried to stop feeling the way I feel and protect myself, but it's not really protection if it means I've lost you before we even tried. I don't feel protected, I don't feel safe. I feel miserable. I miss you Steve, and I know I've been awful to you and you have every right to just kick me out of here, but I just wanted to…to explain." There were tears welling up in her eyes and she sounded a little breathless by the end of it.

There were a lot of words that were said, and a lot of information that was making his head spin, but one piece of it had grabbed him like a magnet and he couldn't let it go.

"The way you feel?" he finally choked out. He took a steadying breath, trying to wrap his head around what was going on and come up with a more coherent response. "I mean…I miss you too…and I'm sorry you…I would never just…" he stumbled over his words and took a step closer to her, "but, the way you feel?"

He could feel that fluttery hopeful feeling rising up in him again as he saw her old easy smile pulling at the corner of her lips.

"Yeah," she reached out tentatively and took his hand, "I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you Steve, and maybe that's kind of scary but I know you're pretty tough and you've got a team and I'm not going to stop being afraid for you just because I'm not with you and not being with you sucks so I…"

She couldn't finish her rambling sentence because Steve couldn't hold himself back for one single second longer. He was almost unaware of how it happened, but his hands were in her hair and his hips were pressed against her, and he was kissing her again, when he thought he'd never get the chance.

It was better, he though distractedly, as her mouth opened readily under his and her arms twined around his waist, when he wasn't about to send her into extreme danger. He could take his time, find out exactly what had drawn that hitching little noise from her as he explored her mouth, as his hand cradled the column of her neck, traced the outline of her face.

When they finally parted, it was more for lack of air then any real desire to stop.

"Wow," she finally said breathlessly, looking up at him with flushed cheeks and bright eyes, "that was really…wow."

Steve felt the first genuine smile he could remember in weeks slowly spreading across his lips, "yeah," he agreed fervently.

"I cannot believe that this is what I have been missing for all these months." She went on almost conversationally, but their hips were still pressed flush together and her hands were tracing exploratory lines up his spine. It was at the same time so similar to how things had used to be between them, and so incredibly different, "You probably should have just done that a long time ago," she paused with a tilt to her head, "You know, not when we were about to be killed by robots."

He grinned as he slid one hand down her back to rest at her hip, "I'll keep that in mind." And then he paused, looking at her searchingly. "Just…Darcy, don't be pretty sure. If we're going to…I just…how sure are you?"

She met his gaze with an easy smile. "Steve-o, I was just trying to play it cool. I am really, really sure."

He could feel his answering grin splitting his face as he willed her to understand how much he meant his words. "I love you too, you know."

"I don't know that I'll ever understand why," she said with a brilliant smile, "I'm kind of a pain."

"I'll admit that you didn't exactly make it easy," he said, but he gave her hip a reassuring squeeze, "but I can understand that you had some things to work through, and I'm just…god, I am so glad that you're here right now." He rested his forehead against hers, rubbing absent circles against her neck with his thumb.

"You know," Darcy said dreamily, "we are really going about this all backwards. I don't think we're supposed to say thing like 'I love you' before we've even gone out on a proper date."

Steve had to laugh, pulling back to look at her, "you and your rules," he said brushing a stray piece of hair behind her ears, "no dating in the gym, no dating soldiers," he paused, looking at her questioningly, "is the third date rule a real thing?" it was so much easier now that he could just ask about all the modern things he didn't really get.

"The third date rule is a thing," Darcy confirmed, her lips twitching in amusement, "but apparently I live to break the rules. Besides," her grin was positively wicked and he thought helplessly to himself that he was probably in big trouble, "Captain America is on my laminated list." She slid a hand down his back distinctly south of his waistline, and he remembered their conversation before about his…assets, while he could feel his neck start to flush.

Well, turnabout was fair play. He took immense satisfaction in her little squeak of surprise as he gripped her firmly under her rear with one hand, lifting her off her feet as he held her close with his other hand splayed across her back, pressing her against him as he found her mouth again.

He let out a little groan as she wrapped her legs around his waist, which pressed the juncture of her thighs tightly against his growing erection. She tilted her pelvis into him tentatively, almost experimentally, and he dragged his mouth off of hers with a gasp.

"Darce," he fairly growled in her ear, "you keep doing that and rules are going to be broken," he had meant it to slow things down, but Darcy, as he probably should have predicted, took it as a challenge.

"What did I just say about rules Rogers," she pulled his earlobe between her teeth.

Darcy wasn't exactly sure how they had progressed so quickly from talking about their feelings to Steve shivering as she bit his earlobe and letting her push them overbalance to fall back against the couch.

She wasn't going to complain though, because while they had definitely never done anything like this before, it felt fun and easy and comfortable in the same way that she had used to feel when they ran around in the park or sat around watching zombie movies.

She hadn't realised how much she had missed having that feeling with Steve until she got it back, and she was not going to give it up in a hurry. There was an easy release to the way they fit so well together again, even if it had taken her far too long to find her way back.

"So," Steve sounded like he was trying to maintain a casual tone as he looked up at her, lips kiss swollen and face flushed, as she straddled his waist, firmly pressed against his obvious arousal, "If we're breaking rules, does that mean, as Captain America, I get to be team leader in the zombie apocalypse?"

She leaned forward with a smirk to press a line of kisses down his neck with just a hint of a bite at his collar bone; well, it wasn't like Steve was going to bruise easy anyways.

"No way," she said, ever so subtly rocking her hips just to hear him try to hide his groan, "I obviously can't compete with you for muscle, so I get to be the brains."

"Fine," he agreed, catching her hips in his hands. She was momentarily stunned by the way his hands swallowed up her frame, which is probably why he got away with a swift movement that ended with her pinned under him on the couch, "what about that whole 'getting down on your knees for America' thing then?"

"Steve!" she exclaimed, blushing at the memory, "no fair! I never would have said that if I had known it was you."

"Well that would have been a shame," and somehow with the sincerity in his eyes, and the way he was looking at her, and all the things that made him Steve, it wasn't as filthy as it should have been when he said, "I have spent a lot of time thinking about it."

It was filthy enough, though, that her mouth dropped open in surprise and she could feel a rush of heat like lightening at her centre. "Steve Rogers," she intoned incredulously, "you made a dirty joke, and you didn't even stutter!"

He smiled at her, "pretty sure I could do just about anything for you Darce," he traced across the line of her collar bone with his thumb, suddenly serious. "You know, don't you, that I mean this to be….that I'm in this…I wouldn't just jump into…"

Steve Rogers who could make a joke about Captain America and blow jobs, but couldn't get out a sentence about how he was committed. She smiled, probably incredibly sappily.

"I know." She reached up to place her hand alongside his face, "Me too."

"Yeah?" it was only half a question.

"Yeah."

He kissed her then, slow and soft, full of promise. When he pulled back again, she felt a bit unfocused. Being the centre of all of Steve Roger's concentration could get really addictive. She didn't really mind the thought.

He was pushing back from her though, and she frowned, catching his arms.

"I should…" he started to explain, "I don't want to presume…"

She started to roll her eyes, but then had a thought, "Steve, have you ever….?" I mean, he was from a different era …

"Oh!" he grinned as he understood what she was asking, "It's a fair question, but yeah, I have. It's not that, it's just…well, I wouldn't ever want you to think that you had to…that this was just about, well, this." He gave her shoulder a little squeeze to emphasise his point. And she had to smile.

"That's sweet Steve, it really is. And I appreciate it. But if this had just been about sex, we probably would have fucked months ago and long since got over it, and frankly, if you don't take me to bed in the next 15 seconds I might actually have to do violence."

"Oh thank fuck." Steve let out in a huff and hauled her bodily off the couch in one smooth motion. She gladly wrapped her legs back around his waist, biting and pulling and licking at his mouth as he stumbled to his bedroom.

"So," said Darcy after a little while, "that was awesome." She sounded a bit dazed. He was going to take full credit for that. Later, when he could move again.

"Mmmpphh," he made a noise of assent against her breast.

He felt more than heard her shake with laughter underneath him.

"I was kind of worried that it would be weird, you know?" her fingers were idly running over his neck, damp with sweat. It felt really nice.

"Hmmm?" was all he managed in response, although he did manage to tilt his head up to look at her.

"Getting naked, crossing the platonic line, or whatever," she clarified.

"You're saying I was weird to get naked with?" he was half concerned that she was feeling weird about it for a moment, but even though he might be a bit out of practice from the last little while, he was pretty sure he could still figure out when she was teasing him.

She laughed again, a slow rolling motion under his cheek, "No, I'm saying it felt…good. Normal."

Steve smiled against her skin, "So," he said slowly, "you're saying that I was normal in bed?"

She pushed lightly against his shoulder, "I'm saying you're a jerk in bed, right now," and god how he had missed that tone of fond exasperation from her. "You are going to have to move in a bit though," she went on reasonably, "because you're also really heavy."

He made a dissatisfied noise, because apparently that was all he could manage at the moment. He might be broken. He didn't really care. But he flopped over into his back anyways, because she really was pretty tiny, and he really wasn't anymore.

"Hey Steve?" Darcy sounded kind of sleepily amused as she rested her chin on his shoulder to look at him. He really liked the way she looked right now, her hair tousled, cheeks pink, and lips swollen.

"Hey beautiful," he answered groggily. It was probably pretty corny, but Darcy already knew he was corny, and she liked him anyways. She loved him. He grinned what was probably a very silly grin.

"Do you want me to stay? Or should I…."

Steve made a disbelieving tone of protest at the thought of her moving anywhere out of his reach. "Don't be ridiculous," he mumbled, gathering her against his chest with one arm. "Sleep," he commanded gently.

"Yes Captain," her tone was mocking, but he could feel her smile against his chest as he drifted off.

The sun was coming up when he was woken by Darcy stirring next to him. It was no wonder really, as he was sprawled out with a leg hooked over hers and his arm thrown about her middle. He tightened his grip unrepentantly.

"Don't" he muttered sleepily. "Stay."

"Steeeeeeve," Darcy whined blearily, "I have to peeeeeee."

A chuckle rumbled its way through his chest and he blinked up at her. "Fine," he said in a disgruntled tone, but he couldn't hide his smile as he moved to let her up. She leaned over and pressed a kiss against his forehead with a soft smile of her own.

It took a few more minutes before he was really fully conscious, and that may have only been because of the smell of bacon drifting in from the kitchen. He swung his feet to the floor and pulled on a pair of sweatpants lying over the nearby chair.

When he stumbled into the kitchen Darcy was standing in front of the stove, her hair swept up in a messy knot and wearing nothing but one of his button down shirts, stolen from his closet. It was so close to all the times he had dreamed about having her here, all the times he had imagined this, that he couldn't help sweeping her up into his arms and planting a kiss on her lips, morning breath and all.

When he finally set her down, she looked up at him with an amused grin.

"What's that look for?" she said, jabbing him with the handle of a spatula.

"I'm just really goddamn happy." He couldn't help but saying it.

"You know," she said causally flipping the bacon in the pan, "I wonder what the public would think if they knew how much Captain America actually swears."

He grinned, pressing a kiss against the back of her neck, just because he could now, and moving to pour himself a cup of coffee.

"For the record," she said after a moment, "I am too."

"Hmmm?" he made a questioning noise.

"Happy, I mean." She paused for a minute. "Although Sal and Gus are going to have a field day once they find out."

And that was it really, one of those moments where the past stops defining the future and the rest of life starts.

Steve just smiled down into his mug of coffee.