I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS, THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHANIE MEYER, I AM MAKING NO MONEY OUT OF THIS STORY AND AM ONLY WRITING IT FOR THE ENJOYMENT OF MYSELF AND IT'S READERS. ALL CREDIT FOR THE ORIGINAL CHARACTERS AND STORY GOES TO STEPHENIE MEYER.
The beeping of my alarm roused me from my fitful sleep, like every other night for the past year I hadn't slept well. I'd gone to bed little after 11pm, as late as I could manage before Charlie had told me I needed to get some sleep.
I'd fallen asleep quickly out of exhaustion, but it wasn't even an hour before the dreams began to plague me and Charlie had to come in and wake me up because I had started screaming.
After that I had watched each hour pass on the clock, refusing to give into the sleep that was trying to consume my body. I had managed until 6am before my eyes had refused to stay open any longer.
I looked toward the window and noticed the sun blaring through the curtains, fumbling blindly I picked my phone up off my bedside table and looked at the time, almost 10, Charlie would have gone fishing by now, making the most of the sunny Saturday morning.
Charlie had insisted that I get a phone after I was found lost and broken in the woods, so he could get hold of me when he needed to, and that's how I came to be in possession of the iPhone that I was currently holding.
Four hours sleep, that was bad even for me. Today was going to be a long day.
I sighed, resigning myself to the fact that I had to get up now, although all I really wanted to do was stay in bed.
I had graduated just under a month ago with top grades, I may have been acting like a zombie but I still worked hard, and I found that homework and revising for my finals was a welcome distraction.
Since then I had been working constantly at Newton's Olympic Outfitters, I took over time whenever I could and refused holidays. It kept me busy and distracted, it was perfect. When I got home from work I cooked for Charlie, and then read or watched baseball with him until he would force me to go to bed.
Yesterday had been a difficult day for me and I'd found it impossible to distract myself even slightly. It had marked the passing of a year since that fateful day. The day he had told me he was leaving, that he didn't want me anymore, the day he took my family away from me, the family that I missed so dearly it felt as if I was missing a limb.
I missed Esme's motherly love and Carlisle's patience with my clumsiness that often resulted in him having to patch me up. The way they looked after me the way parents should, the way my own biological parents failed to do so. Don't get me wrong, I love them dearly, but having to look after them both as I had grown up had taken its toll on me, causing me to grow up too fast.
Alice's chirping voice talking about the latest fashion trends, the bear hugs from my big lug of a brother Emmet. Hell, I even missed Rosalie, who had made her dislike of me clear from the beginning. Even Jasper who I had never had the chance to get to know him, who had tried to kill me on the night of my birthday. Not that I blamed him, it had been an accident.
I didn't blame any of them, I couldn't. For a start they had done nothing wrong, Moreover I just loved them too much, even after all of this time, to stay mad at them. However, he was a different story, him I did blame.
Whenever I thought of him or his name was mentioned, which wasn't often, all I felt was uncontainable rage. He'd taken my family away from me for no good reason with some bullshit excuse that it was better for me.
I snorted an unladylike snort at this thought, ha, better for me? Yeah cause spending a year in a state of pity and self-wallowing was so much better for me than having a family around me who, for the most part, loved me dearly.
Yesterday I had driven to their house, I don't know what I had hoped to achieve, closure maybe. It hadn't worked.
I was shaking like a leaf by the time I had pulled into their drive in my baby blue Volkswagen beetle that my dad had helped me find after my ancient Chevy truck died on me a few months back.
As I trundled up the drive I noticed that the foliage surrounding the house, that had once been tidily kept, was overgrown. It was at this point I began to cry, by the time I reached the house I was sobbing.
It looked so empty. I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't this. The place just cried abandonment.
It had been two hours before the tears finally stopped rolling down my face at which point numbness took over. I had rushed to the local supermarket to do some shopping and then home to cook for Charlie.
I had tried to pick out a complex and lengthy meal to make but realized quickly that it wouldn't work and settled for a simple Spaghetti Bologna.
For the rest of the night I had sat with Charlie, but found myself unable to make conversation or focus on the baseball game. I couldn't get the image of the desolate looking white building out of my head.
It was that image that had taunted me in my sleep and caused me to scream and cry before Charlie had come in and woke me up.
A thought occurred to me as I replayed yesterday's events over in my mind. I wasn't coping. Over the last year I had seen several doctors, two counselors and a psychiatrist, and I still wasn't coping.
The realization hit me sudden and fast. It wasn't me that was hindering any progression in my mental state and depression, it was Forks. Everywhere I went, every corner I turned, something would remind me, would trigger a cascade of memories about them. As long as I stayed in Forks I wasn't going to get better.
I would continue to lose more and more sleep, get thinner and thinner, and cause Charlie more stress than he could deal with.
In that moment I made my decision. I had to leave, and I had to leave today.
Author Note: I changed this chapter a lot more than originally planned as I was seriously unhappy with it and the way the story progressed from here. I do now however feel a lot happier with it and hope you enjoy it. Please take the time to Read&Review as it would make my day!