A/N: So I've never written a fanfic before. Honestly, English isn't my greatest subject and this is my way of getting some practice in before going back to college. Fun times. Right so this story is gonna follow canon (the anime, maybe hints at the manga) but I'll move away from that as the story develops. ^_^ Enjoy!

(This is the rewritten version of the first chapter!)

Disclaimer: I don't own OHSHC or any of it's characters. *sighs*

I've been wandering the school searching for a quiet place to study. I just started my first year of high school at the elite Ouran High. I'm the only scholarship student to have gotten accepted in a good few years. You'd think that with four library rooms at least one of them would be quiet. I'm starting to think that rich kids only come to school to have a good time. It isn't fair in reality.

I stop outside a huge pair of doors. Music room #3. An abandoned music room. Maybe I could get some studying done here. I reach forward to open the double doors. Next thing I know is a flurry of rose petals hitting my face and a group of boys welcoming me into the room.

"Only those with excellent social standing and those from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time here at the elite private school, Ouran academy.
The Ouran host club is where the school's handsomest boys with too much time on their hands entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands.
Just think of it as Ouran academy's elegant playground for the super-rich and beautiful."

What the hell is this place? I just wanted to study… "A host club?" I scramble back against the door, scared out my wits of the implications of entering upon such a group.

"Oh, it's a boy." The red heads dropped their happy expressions to stare at me with bored eyes.

The one with glasses turned to the twins. "Hikaru, Kaoru, I believe this young man is in the same class as you, isn't he?" So that's where I recognised them from. They're the kids that generally start causing the trouble.

"Yeah, but he's shy." I'll show you shy in a minute. "He doesn't act very sociably so we don't know much about him." Am I really passing off that well as a guy? I used to be quite popular with the guys as well, shame.

It's then that the one with the glasses looks back at me and I notice a slight lifting of the eyebrow. Almost suddenly, it's as if a light bulb just went on above his head and you can see his lips tugging into a wry smile. He was clearly more observant than the rest of them.

"Oh, that wasn't very polite. Welcome to Ouran Host club, Mr. Honor Student." He added a bit of emphasis to the Mr. Yeah, he definitely knows. Does he really find this all so amusing? Damn rich kids.

"What? You must be Haruhi Fujioka. You're the exceptional honor student we've heard about." The blonde one got right up in my face, eyes full of wonder and questions just waiting to boil over the surface.

I was currently scrambling and shakily pulling at the door handles trying to escape. I'm going to have a break down if I'm stuck in their company any longer. "How did you know my name?"

"Why, you're infamous. It's not every day that a commoner gains entrance into our academy. You must have an audacious nerve to work hard enough to fight your way into this school as an honor student, Mr. Fujioka." Did this guy just seriously call me a commoner?

"Well ah- thank you. I guess." I stammer out.

"You're welcome. You are a hero to other poor people, Fujioka. You've shown the world that even a poor person can excel at an elite private academy. It must be hard for you to constantly be looked down upon by others." Is this guy for real? Or have I just fallen down the rabbit hole and been transported to some foreign topsy-turvy world.

"I think you're taking this poor thing too far." I keep trying to edge away from this guy, but he won't relent. He clearly has no clue about personal space.

It's about now that I'm considering turning around and running for my life. These guys seem to be from another planet. Money really does make a big difference in people I see.

"Spurned, neglected. But that doesn't matter now. Long live the poor! We welcome you, poor man, to our world of beauty!" I'm guessing he just likes the sound of his own voice. That's it, back to my own planet.

"I'm outta here." I turn on my heel and try to gracefully exit before they insult me anymore.

"Hey! Come back here, Haru-chan! You must be like a super hero or something. That's so cool!" The other blonde kid approached me, latching onto my sleeve in protest. Isn't this guy a little too young to be in high school? Looks more like elementary student to me. He is pretty cute though.

"I'm not a hero. I'm an honor student. And who are you calling Haru-chan!?"

"I never would have imagined the famous scholar would be so openly gay." Now he's saying I'm gay? Where does this guy get off?! Oh wait, they still think I'm a guy… great.

"Openly what?"

"So tell me what kind of guys you're into. Do you like the strong silent type? The boy lolita? How about the mischievous type? Or the cool type?" The blonde one continues on.

I wish he'd back off a little, I'm getting a little flustered.

"I uh... I-It's not like that. I was just looking for a quiet place to study."

"Or maybe you're into a guy like me. What do you say?"

It's at this point I stumble backwards, knocking into one of the pointless and most definitely expensive ornaments that were dotted around the school. I look dejectedly at it as it falls to the ground. Oops…

"Awww." One of the twins moans. "We were going to feature that Renaissance vase in an upcoming school auction." The whole talking in perfect sync with each other deal is kind of creepy.

"Oh now you've done it, commoner. The bidding on that vase was supposed to start at 8 million yen."

Did they seriously just say eight million yen? That's probably more than I'd hope to have in a lifetime of savings.

"What, 8 million yen? How many thousand yen is that? How many thousands are in 8 million? I'm gonna have to pay you back." Terror is running through me now. Paying them back is the proper thing to do, but I don't fancy being their slave for the rest of my life, which is probably what I'll most likely have to do.

"With what money? You can't even afford the school uniform." My shoulders drop as they take another blow to my status.

"What's with that grubby outfit you've got on anyway?" What's with these twins? Do they really like rubbing salt in the wound?

"Well, what do you think we should do, Tamaki?" The one with the glasses speaks up again. It looks like he already has a plan in mind, judging from the slight twinkle in his grey eyes.

"There's a famous saying you may have heard, Fujioka. When in Rome, you should do as the Romans do. Since you have no money, you can pay with your body. That means, starting today, you are the host club's dog."

Well school has started off brilliantly…

Kyoya POV.

Unlike most of the idiots I'm surrounded by, I knew the instant young Fujioka entered the host club that she was most definitely not male. I even checked up my file on this mysterious honor student just to confirm. Yes, definitely female, but nothing like her ID picture. Interesting. But I continued going along with the charade just to see how long it would take them to truly realise the mistake. I did enjoy it when my day was made more interesting.

It was when Tamaki, the dope that he is, started talking about the honor student being gay that I knew he'd be the last to figure it out. The twins would probably be close second however, even though they'll be the only ones actually in class with her. This situation is proving to be quite amusing indeed.

She keeps claiming that she simply wants a quiet place to study. Maybe she really didn't know of this club's existence. Poor girl, it's too late to save you now. She keeps shuffling away from Tamaki at great speeds. If she isn't careful she's going to-

SMASH!

Yeah, she did it. She just happened to smash the renaissance vase in the most ungraceful way. I try not to let a smirk work its way onto my face as I bend down and pick up one of the larger shards now laying ruin on the marble floor.

"You may know this saying, Fujioka. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Since you have no money, you can pay us back with your body. Starting today, you are the Host Club's new dog!" Our president announced smugly.

Welcome to the host club, Haruhi Fujioka.

So I started working as the host club's dog. Or piglet. Whatever animal Tamaki felt like assigning me at the time. Basically they sent me to the store for their groceries; I made tea and kept the music room clean. Not really difficult. Well, it wouldn't be if it weren't for the clueless girls that I was actually tending to.

"Tamaki, I baked you a cake today. Would you like to try it?"

"Only if you'll feed it to me, darling."

The lines they reeled off made me nauseous, they were just that sickly sweet.

I walked up to Tamaki and handed him the bag of groceries I had been ordered to pick up on behalf of the club. He rummaged through the paper bag and paused, lifting out the jar of coffee I had picked up. Everyone was gazing at it as if it had come from an alien planet.

"I haven't seen this brand before. Is this the kind that's already ground?" He was blinking at the glass jar clueless.

"Uh, it's just instant coffee. You just add hot water and it's ready."

"No way! I've heard of this stuff before! It's commoners' coffee."

The commotion was gaining the attention of the girls, they crowded around gasping at the new discovery. "I didn't know there was such a thing!" I heard one girl mumble in shock.

"So it's true then. Commoners really don't have enough free time to grind their own coffee beans." Another announced to us all, eyes wide and shiny as Tamaki ripped open the foil wrapped lid.

"Well, commoners are pretty smart. It's for convenience." The bespectacled boy informed us all. I just wanted to crawl into a hole by now. It was just instant coffee…

"I'll go back and buy something else. Excuse me for not buying the expensive coffee."

Tamaki pulled the jar away from me, engrossed in the writing on the back label. "No. No, I'm going to try it."

Everyone gasped. The twins even dramatically fell to the floor in shock. Was it really that big of a deal?

"Haruhi! Get over here and show us the magical way of commoners coffee!" I followed the command, taking some tea cups and dumping a teaspoon of the mix into each before filling the cups up with boiled water. I wasn't a huge fan on coffee, but the smell was always quite intoxicating.

"Oh Tamaki, now you're taking the joke too far. Your palate won't be able to stomach that crap. You don't have to drink it just because he bought it." One girl spoke up, her face sporting a smug grin. When nobody turned to listen to her other than me, she met my eyes and brushed me off nonchalantly. "I'm sorry. I was talking to myself."

What was her problem? I didn't think I'd end up making an enemy that quickly in the school. Damn rich bastards.

I turned back to Tamaki who was lifting the teacup to his lips slowly, the girls willing to test out the substance were copying him, eyes trained on the dark liquid.

"I don't think I should drink this. My dad might get mad at me."

Tamaki dropped the cup from his lips and was at the girls side in a flash, caressing her chin between his thumb and forefinger. "What if I let you drink it from my mouth."

The girl in question blushed brightly before replying, "Oh well then, I would drink it."

"This is ridiculous…" I escaped the romantic moments Tamaki was throwing out to the girls to see what the Hitachiin's were doing.

"…so he had this nightmare that made him bolt up, right out of bed."

His brother blushed and tried to hide his face. "Hikaru, don't tell them that story. I asked you not to tell anyone that. Why are you so mean to me?"

"I'm sorry, Kaoru. I didn't mean to upset you. But you were so adorable when it happened that I had to tell them. I'm sorry." The twins were in the same position as Tamaki and that girl with the coffee. I stared at them in disbelief. Did they really have a twincest act running in here? I hoped it was just an act at least.

I stop in my tracks and turn around to come face to torso with Mori, with Honey riding on his shoulders drowsily.

"Sorry we're late, ladies. I fell asleep waiting for Takashi to finish his kendo practise." He gave a small yawn and rubbed his eyes. "And I'm not completely awake yet."

"It's okay Honey-sempai. We were waiting for you both. So cute~"

I guess I could see the attraction the girls felt towards the small cute senior. But other than that, I felt lost in this room of fan girls and men selling their bodies and minds just to make girls happy.

"Haru-chan. Haru-chan!" I turned to the Lolita shota boy. "Come have some cake with us!"

Although the offer was tempting, I should really keep working. I wouldn't want to get in any trouble. "That' alright, sempai. I don't really like cake all that much."

He looked shocked but then pulled his stuffed rabbit out from behind him and thrust it into my face. "Then what about Usa-chan? Would you like to hold him?"

I took a couple of steps back and shook my head. "I'm not all that into bunnies." What I wasn't expecting was for him to tear up and for his bottom lip to start wobbling with the rejection.

I bent down to his size and stared into the pink bunny's face. "I guess he is pretty cute though."

His brown eyes widened. He thrust the bunny into my arms before skipping back to his table. "Take good care of Usa-chan then!"

Staring down at the bunnies, I hear light footsteps coming up behind me. Kyoya stood next to me, eyes scanning over the whole room like a hawk. "As you see, we utilise each man's unique characteristics to cater to our guests desires. Tamaki is number one around here. His request rate is seventy percent. He is the king of the host club for a reason." I nod at him numbly, not really taking in the information. I nuzzle my head into the top of Usa-chan's pink stuffed body and inhale the sweet vanilla scent he carried.

"And for you to pay off your debt, you will be working as the host club's dog until you graduate. I'm sorry, I should say our errand boy. You can try and run away if you want to Haruhi, but my family recruits a private police force of one hundred officers. Just so you know. Oh, and do you have a passport?" He was staring down at me smugly, almost as if the hawk caught his prey. It was pretty unnerving.

Tamaki swung round Kyoya and grabbed me by the shoulders. "You're going to have to work hard to pay off that debt, my little nerd. But first we need to get you a makeover or no girl's going to look at you twice!"

Tamaki began ranting about how perfect he was inside and out. I wasn't really listening anymore, I was quickly becoming skilled at blocking out the nonsense. What was the word that would describe this boy? What is it? Man I wish I could remember that word. Maybe a pain in the neck? No, there's something else that fits him perfectly.

"Huh. I got it!" I accidentally say out loud.

"Did something I say strike a chord with you?" His eyes were hopefully as he danced around me.

"Obnoxious!"

He seemed to crumble away into dust before me. The twins were beside themselves with laughter, patting me on the back for my comedic value.

"You're a hero alright!" They kept struggling to control the laughing fit they were stuck in.

"Uh, I'm sorry sempai. But what you said did strike a small chord with me." I tried to reassure the deflated boy who was moping in the corner. With my apology he dashed back over, right as rain. He sure got over that quickly.

"Boss, you could teach him all the basics of hosting, but he won't get any girls looking like that." One of the twins let his eyes scroll up and down my scraggily appearance.

"Maybe if we took these off…" The other red head ripped the glasses off my face and were now staring wide eyed at me, as if I was the alien here.

"I kind of need those you know! I used to have contacts, but I lost them on the first day of school. Give 'em back."

Next thing I know is I'm being dragged away, Kaoru on one side, Hikaru on the other. We arrive at some curtained off changing area and they won't get the hell out. Don't they know anything of privacy?! I threw them out and I'm pretty sure they figured out my reason pretty quickly. They aren't as stupid as they could let on.

I exited the changing room to find all of the hosts waiting to see me. I straightened out the blazer one more time, unused to the fitted attire. "Are you sure it's okay for me to use this uniform, sempai?"

"Oh, you are so cute. You're as cute as a button. You could pass for a girl. Adorable." He latched himself onto me, nuzzling his cheek against my own in an odd show of affection.

The twins took to either side of me, prying away the over affectionate Tamaki. "If we'd known that's how you looked, we would have helped you sooner."

"He might even draw in some customers."

"Our errand boy is moving up the ranks. You know what? We'll clear your debt if you manage to have one hundred girls designate you. I will even train you personally." Tamaki flipped his blonde locks out of his face, proud of the transition they had put me through.

It turned out that hosting really wasn't that hard. They hung onto every word I said. All they clearly wanted was to be complimented and have someone listen to them. It only took one little emotional tale, telling them about my mother's passing for me to have three customers wanting to see me again.

"Why is he so popular!?"

"He's a natural."

"Have you forgotten about me, Tamaki?" Ayanokoji shuffled up to the blonde princely type.

"Oh no, I'm sorry princess. I'm just a little concerned about our new host."

"Well that's obvious. You sure have been keeping an eye on him."

"I did say I'd train him myself! Haruhi, come here a minute!"

I wandered over to Tamaki's table where he sat with a regal looking young woman with long maroon hair. "I'd like you to meet someone, this is princess Ayanokoji. A regular of mine."

"It's a pleasure, miss." I gave a small bow towards her. It was that girl from earlier that made a dig at me when I bought the coffee, but I let it slide. I needed to keep customers coming in and forgetting their insults and such would have to become second nature for me now.

I could get used to people calling me out for my social status and total lack of wealth. But I didn't expect there to be any real bullies in this school. Maybe I was expecting too much to think they would be above bullying, but when I couldn't find my bag at the end of the day, I ended up having to dig through the pond out front of the school to dig out all of my belongings.

Thankfully Tamaki saw me ankle deep in the water and jumped in with me. He even found my wallet, which contained my whole weeks' worth of food money.

"You didn't have to help me, sempai."

"Well people always tell me that I'm dripping with good looks."

I could only smile at the goofy joke as we climbed out of the pond together and dried our feet.

It was a surprise to me when Ayanokoji requested me the next day. I had a strong suspicion it was her that chucked my bag out the window but I wasn't going to start pointing fingers.

"It must have been terrible, I can't imagine what I'd do if my bag fell into the pond like that."

"Why did you request me when you've made it clear you don't even like me, Ayanokoji?"

She seemed put off by my bluntness, but recovered quickly. "And you even had Tamaki come in that filthy pond with you? You do realize he's a blue blood, not a commoner, right?" Here we go with another dig at my background. Does it really matter that much to these people? "The only reason he's paying attention to you is because he's trying to turn you into a gentleman. Don't start thinking he cares about you just because he's doting on you."

So that's it. The girl's jealous of the attention Tamaki's been giving me. And she doesn't even know I'm actually a girl, god I'd hate to see her reaction if she knew that little fact.

"Now I understand. You're jealous of me."

I saw the anger flash across her face. Maybe I shouldn't have been so blunt with a customer; I might regret it one day. Next thing I know the table's been sent flying, tableware and all. Please don't add this to my debt, Kyoya.

With the commotion of the table flying off to the side, Ayanokoji grabs me by the wrist and drags me down on top of her. The position is pretty compromising, even without her shouting that I assaulted her. I don't think I could live with this being an everyday occurrence.

Suddenly I was being drenched with ice cold water, Ayanokoji included. My eyes shot up to see the mischievous eyes of the twins, nonchalantly whistling with pitchers behind their backs.

Luckily though, the host club comes to my aid. I half expected them to take her side, but it was a pleasant surprise when Kyoya offered a hand in helping up off the tea soaked floor.

"I'm disappointed in you. You threw Haruhi's bag in the pond, didn't you?"

Her eyes widened in disbelief. "You don't know that! Do you have any proof?"

"You may be a beautiful girl, but you're not classy enough to be our guest, my dear. If there's one thing I know, it's that Haruhi is not that kind of a man."

"Tamaki, you idiot!" She screamed as she raced out of the class, burning red from the embarrassment.

Kyoya POV

I couldn't help but be irritated by the loss of a loyal customer, bitchy or otherwise. But in the name of our new member, I think it's worth the small loss in profits. Hopefully.

Offering a hand to Haruhi, whom is still sitting dumbly on the floor listening to Tamaki's speak, I wonder if I should be charging her for all the broken tableware. They were antiques after all. My thoughts are broken by her small hand sliding into mine. Her hands are awfully soft for a commoner, I'll give her that.

I pull her to her feet, letting my hand linger a little longer than it possibly should have. But she didn't seem to notice. The twins are gracious enough to hand her a new uniform, which is nice enough saying as they were the ones to unceremoniously dump water over the girls in the first place.

Now they're dragging her away to change yet again. Tamaki's following behind them like a lost puppy. He seems to be pretty attached to her, even without knowing Haruhi's true gender. The beginnings of some twisted crush I can only presume. We'll wait and see.

And as predicted, it was Tamaki that was last to figure out Haruhi's true gender. And it only took him two days. I underestimated him. Although I'm surprised Mori-sempai was second to last, he's usually more perceptive than the rest.

Hopefully tomorrow isn't as troubling as today has proven to be. And it's only her first day of hosting. The next few months will hopefully prove to be interesting. Very interesting indeed.